What Hurts The Most

The Way I Loved You

 

 

“So…” Sunny drawled, lounging against the frame of the door as she watched Yuri sat atop her bed, loading— squeezing and pushing— in piles of clothes into her suitcase.

 

The Black Pearl glanced up briefly at her before tending to her task at hand once more, grunting and shoving at the heap of garments as if her life depended on it.

 

“Yeah?” She managed in between exasperated groans and huffs.

 

There was a tiny crop of sweat glistening above her brow and Sunny wondered just how long had she been at it with all the packing.

 

“I take that you two have finally gotten back together…?”

 

A final and a resonating zip sealed the deal.

 

Yuri slumped forward, dropping her upper body onto her suitcase with a long, weary sigh. She stood like this for a long while, unmoving, apart from her shoulders heaving up and down and breaths coming out in rags.

 

For a second there, Sunny thought she didn’t hear her. That was until she abruptly sprang to an upright sitting position, a dark expression washing over her features.

 

“I wish,” she muttered with a sigh, lips tight with a grim smile.

 

Sunny’s immediate reaction was to flinch. She flashed the Black Pearl an apologetic look.

 

“Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have brought that up.”

 

Yuri barked a laugh, shook her head and waved her off flippantly. “It’s okay,” she said.

 

But no, it wasn’t okay at all, Sunny knew.

 

She could make out the bitter glint in her eyes. See them reflecting back up at her darkly. However in the next second as she blinked, it was gone.

 

“Why did you think that anyway?” she asked, sounding fairly casual and unaffected.

 

Sunny shrugged. “You’re moving into the apartment across hers. And lately you guys are back to your chummy-bickering self, so naturally I just assumed…”

 

“I see,” Yuri murmured pensively, eyes clouding over wistfully as she wore a rueful smile.

 

She sighed.

 

It merely took her half of a beat to snap out of her brief sentimental moment as she then proceeded to busy herself with ping and packing up another suitcase.

 

“Well, we’re just friends. And Sica’s probably dating Dongwook-oppa anyway.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“Isn’t it obvious?”

 

Sunny snorted, “That coming from the most oblivious person in the world.”

 

Yuri laughed, albeit mirthlessly.

 

“But you still love her, don’t you?”

 

Yuri froze, breath hitching and heart catching in .

 

That had caught her completely by surprise.

 

Overcoming the initial phase of stupefaction, she let loose a soft, defeated sigh.

 

“Don’t I ever?” She chuckled bitterly, her smile thin and sardonic.

 

There was that faintly concealed pain and self-loathe in her eyes as she gazed up at the shorter girl. And it made Sunny regret for ever popping that particular question.

 

She scuffled at her feet awkwardly, on the inside of her cheek.

 

“Well then... I shan’t hold you back from packing. If you need any help, you know where to find me.”

 

With a quick flash of a thumbs up, a smile and a nod from the Black Pearl, Sunny was off and away in a blink of an eye.

 

Yuri sighed, pausing in the midst of everything. Now that Sunny was finally gone, there was no need to keep up with pretenses and she allowed a frown to mar her features.

 

A pout here, a whine there and throw in a large bit of hopeful, large kitten eyes and here she was moving into the apartment opposite hers.

 

Why was she doing this anyway?

 

They weren’t even together anymore.

 

Was she being a little too weak on her part?

 

She had always given in to her so very easily.

 

Even since before.

 

She groaned.

 

Next time. Next time for sure, she wouldn’t succumb.

 

She wouldn’t.

 

Though, deep down she knew…

 

She probably would.

 

Well, at least the apartment seemed luxurious enough. And living so close in vicinity to her couldn’t be that bad.

 

Yeah, wait till she comes over seeking relationship advice. What would her heart say then?  

 

No, no. She was already over that. Back to packing.

 

Shaking all thoughts away, Yuri glanced down at the half-empty suitcase before her.

 

She was already done packing with her clothes and any other necessities… So all that was left was her own personal items.

 

She surveyed the area around her, scouring every little crook and cranny.

 

It wasn’t like she was going to bring every single thing back to her new apartment.

 

Dorm was still home in a sense. And she would be back here every other day anyway, so there wasn’t a need to take everything along with her.

 

Just the important ones.

 

Her eyes fell onto a particular stuffed toy sitting by the corner of her bed.

 

Immediately, a fond smile curved at her lips and she crawled over to reach for it. Fingers thumbing over the features of the toy— the large round ears, wide beady eyes and that fixed smile— her eyes instinctively softened in tender affection.

 

Then morphed to that of pain, rue and nostalgia.

 

It was the very first Mickey Mouse doll Jessica had given her.

 

The very first.

 

And she had kept it for a good 9 years now.

 

 

 

“Here, happy birthday.”

 

Yuri gasped, eyes widening into comically large saucers. She was beyond psyched at the gift that was currently being presented to her.

 

“Y-You got me this?” She managed a sputter.

 

“You don’t like it?” Jessica flinched, glancing up at her tentatively.

 

“Don’t like it? I love it!” Yuri exclaimed, pulling the toy— as well as the girl— into large open arms. “Thank you so much, Sooyeon-ah! How did you know I love Mickey Mouse?”

 

As she drew away, she noticed how rosy and pink the girl’s cheeks had gotten. She seemed almost undoubtedly shy with her eyes averted away and bottom lip worked beneath her teeth.

 

But Yuri still thought it was utterly adorable.

 

“Well, I did some asking around and everyone said you liked Mickey Mouse. So during summer break, when I returned back to the US, I kinda’ dropped by Disneyland and managed to get you this. So yes, it is authentic and I thought you might like it. And… I’m starting to ramble, sorry.”

 

The girl was impossibly red now and Yuri could barely contain the grin on her face from expanding any further.

 

Despite knowing her for two years, she had hardly ever spoken to her before. With that ever so frigid presence— that cold visage and stony gaze— encasing her at every turn, it was hard to approach her, and Yuri had never thought her to be capable of exuding such... warmth.

 

She was surprisingly nice, even with that horrible first impression she had of her after that whole... ‘prank’ she pulled on her.

 

“It’s okay. I think it’s adorable.” She grinned; not missing how the girl flushed a shade of red that she never knew existed before.

 

And hence began their blossoming friendship.

 

 

 

Yuri could still remember it like it was yesterday.

 

The good’ole days...

 

That was back when Jessica tended to ramble on in adorably awkward Korean while she, herself, would speak anything and everything on her mind without restrain or thought.

 

She sighed.

 

Gazing down at the smiling doll, she gingerly ran her hand down its overly large head.

 

As important as it was to her, maybe it would be best to leave it here in the dorm.

 

She’d doubt she would have space for it in her suitcase anyway.

 

But what if it got lonely?

 

What if her heart got lonely?

 

Yuri sighed and propped the doll up neatly by her bedside.

 

She’ll find a way eventually, she supposed.

 

--

A/N: Thank you so much for reading/commenting/subscribing! Really makes my day each time I open up this page and see those notifs by the side. :) And whoa, we've hit the 100 subscriber and 1000 hits mark already! And I'm honestly surprise at the overwhelming response for the polls. Well it looks like a slight majority wants to see more of Yuri/Hayoung and a vast majority wants to see this ending with Yuri/Jessica. Weell then... I'll check back with you guys after a couple more chapters of this and see if there's any change to the results. :P 

 

 

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Comments

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danone #1
Read this again. Wonderful story!
Osekop12 #2
Congrats on the feature!!
yulbaby125
#3
Chapter 18: Things are still remain and i m waiting for hapoy ending for my one and only OTP yulsic...

Are u still here or not? Hope u save us soon from waiting
Marionmarion #4
Chapter 18: Still waiting for update.
Marionmarion #5
Chapter 18: Still waiting for update.
Marionmarion #6
Chapter 18: Still waiting for update.
Jamjam26
#7
Chapter 18: Hi author! I know it's been awhile. And I just wanna say that your story is a work of art, and still waiting, still hoping that you would still continue this fic even if it's been 4 years after your author's note. Still believing that you would continue this. And congratulations!!
MiChaengieTT
#8
Chapter 6: Aw fawning over a friend who one feels so strongly about, but for some reason just can't seem to couple up. Wistful and longing looks, holding onto little bits of hope even when they know it's not in their best interest - sadly relatable