Sooyoung's POV

 

I opened my Facebook account since it was very boring and I had nothing to do. And there goes those crappy notifications where people send game requests, invitations to this, She invites you for that, he invites you for this. I mean, I DON’T EVEN PLAY GAMES HERE STOP THIS IMMEDIATLY!

 

Okay, enough with that.

 

I then go through my wall as I saw everybody posting their own status like

 

“I just broke up with my boyfriend L”

“I’m hurt”

“How dare you call me a ?! Look at yourself, you’re nothing less!”

 

And.. etc. Yeah, crappy people being crappy and delusional people being all delusional.

I’m so done with their s.

 

But then someone updated her status..

 

“I LOVE Girls Generation”

 

 

AT LAST. A KPOP FAN

 

 

A person who is totally not a close friend of yours and you don’t know her likes this

 

Yeah, she deserves my likes.

 

I scroll down and saw nothing good or special or fun to fill up my days. I’m like damn bored here.

I’m out from my Facebook and went to my bed, just staring at the ceiling. I turned sideways and saw a certain teddy bear where I once received from a certain someone who is once very special to me. Who is once there for me whenever I need her. Who gave me a shoulder to cry on. The person whom I will choose to tell my secrets, my problems, my hurtful past.

 

 

And..

 

 

 

She’s the person whom I once called my “Best Friend”

 

 

 

And her name was Jessica. Jessica Jung.

 

 

I crawled on my bed to get the teddy bear, as I held tightly to it. I remember her giving that on my birthday, saying “Happy birthday Youngie! You’re the greatest best friend I’ve ever had!” pulling me into a tight hug.

And that makes me smile. Still.

 

I sat down and went to my study table. At the corner, there’s a picture of the two of us, making weird faces. It was the last picture I took with her before the big fight. Yes, BIG FIGHT. I let out a deep sigh as I put the picture down. And tears suddenly burst out from my eyes. Because I was reminiscing all those memories, moments that we spent together. And it’s all coming back to me. It hurts. It totally does.

 

I remember that time when I cried because I was dealing with family problems. And she was the one who is there beside me, to listen to my problems and hugged me without muttering a single word. I cried even more because I was so touched by her reaction and I’m thankful to have her by my side. But that friendship didn’t last long as I expected.

I find her special, because she made ME feel special. I felt different when I’m with her. When I first met her, we’re not that close even though we’re in the same class. I had no intention in being friends with her despite her cold looks and I can say she’s a quiet person. But then that proves me wrong. It all started when our teacher decided to change the seats of the students, because we’re all noisy when we’re on the same seats with our own friends. I remained at my own place, and my two buddies beside me get switched way to the front. And the teacher asked Jessica to sit beside me.

 

It was very awkward in the first place. Because I’m loud, and she’s….quiet. No one wants to talk. We only talk when it comes to study. Like..

 

“Hey, do you understand what the teacher is saying?”

“No..”

“Me neither”

 

And went silent again.

 

Then, I don’t know what happened, or when did it happen or what’s actually going on, we suddenly  got close. And I mean, VERY close. I never knew we clicked. It’s like, we’re meant to be. We had a lot in common like, her favorite color, her favorite food, her ideal type and much more. And as time passes, we got closer and eventually became best friends.

You know the feeling when you have someone close, and willing to do stupid things with you? That’s what I felt once. And I really missed that.

There was a time when we’re drinking iced tea in a plastic cup inside our class with my other fellow classmates.

 

 

 

Flashback

 

Jessica, Me, and my other fellow classmates were inside the class talking about something while drinking iced tea. After we’ve done drinking, Jessica stood up and walked towards the bin to throw those cups when suddenly something pops out from my amazing brain.

 

 

“Sica! Don’t throw it!” I spoke

“Why?” she gave me a confused look

“Let me have that” I snatched those cups from her hands. “Now, go find some rope. Or a string shall be good.” I said

 

 

Yes, we’re making a telephone out of it.   (We really did guys)

 

 

“What the hell are you think-- OH I GOT IT!” she replied

 

I don’t need to explain more since she knows what exactly is on my mind

 

“Here Youngie! Here!” she handed me a plastic rope

 

“I hope this works” I shrugged

 

Since this was our experiment, I cut it short and tied at the end of it. I punched a hole on the bottom of both cups and put those plastic ropes which was tied a while ago in it.

 

“Here goes nothing” I told her

“Weee!! I’m excited Youngie!!” Jessica started jumping giving cute expression and I just chuckled

“Now, you go to the front while I stay here.” I said

 

Jessica went to the front of the class while I’m at the back.

 

“Heeeellloooooo” I spoke as my mouth was in the cup

 

Suddenly I saw Jessica smiled and laughed loudly.

 

“What’s wrong? It’s not working?” I said

“Place it on your ear.” she said

I obeyed her and it’s her turn to try again.

 

“IT’S WORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she shouted

 

We got excited and started jumping and hugging each other as if we’ve just won a gold Olympic medal. I almost cried too.

 

“Freaks” one of my classmate joked

“Creeps” the other said

“You guys are crazy” another joins in.

 

“You guys are just jealous that you never thought of such things” I stuck out my tongue

 

They just rolled their eyes.

 

 

End of flashback

 

I look down and let out a deep sigh. If it wasn’t because of what happened, if it wasn’t because of our stubbornness,  things wouldn’t be in this way. To be honest, I missed her. I really do. I miss our friendship. I miss how close we are. I miss those happy times we spent together as a best friend. I miss laughing with her. I miss her jokes. I miss every single little thing about her. About us. About our friendship.

 

Because of a little misunderstanding, things happened this way. That misunderstanding turned into a big fight and she decided to end our friendship, saying mean words towards me. I don’t blame her for that. Because I know she doesn’t mean it. She’s like that when she’s mad. But still, it does hurt me. A lot. I yelled at her trying to wake her up, but she fought back, yelling back at me. I only cared about her and I don’t want her to do stupid stuff.

 

But…

 

 

Am I the one to be blamed?

 

 

 

Is it my fault for caring too much?

 

 

 

Is it my fault that I just wanted to protect her?

 

 

 

Is it my fault that I just wanted her to change?

 

 

 

Is it my fault that she became this way?

 

 

Maybe it is. But I don’t blame myself too. Because I knew that I’m just doing what’s right. That I’m just trying to work things up between us. But why.. Why are we slowly falling apart? Why?

 

 

 

 

Flashback

 

“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?” I yelled as I stomped my hands on the table

“WHAT?” she replied

“ WHY ARE YOU AVOIDING ME? WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?”

“ WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH YOU?”

“I’M YOUR BEST FRIEND! SO YOUR PROBLEM, IS MY PROBLEM AS WELL! AND I CARE ABOUT YOU. SO YOU COULD JUST…PLEASE! TELL ME!” I sternly looked at her

 

My other friends were just trying to stop us. But both of us were really mad and started pushing them. Asking them to leave.

 

“Please guys.. Stop this” Yuri, one of my friend begged. I saw tears strolled down to her cheek, but I didn’t mind at all. Because I was so mad at Jessica. And my attention is just on her

 

“GO AWAY!” I yelled at them. But still, they’re holding me trying to stop our fight. And others were stopping Jessica

 

“THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSSINESS SOOYOUNG!” Jessica yelled back

 

“IT IS BECAUSE I’M YOUR BEST FRIEND! ARE YOU STUPID? CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I’M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU?! DON’T YOU REALISED THAT OTHER PEOPLE OR I CAN SAY MY OTHER FRIENDS FROM OTHER CLASSROOM IS JEALOUS OF YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE FRIENDS WITH ME?! THEY’RE JEALOUS JESSICA! BECAUSE I TREATED YOU LIKE MY OWN DAMN SISTER!” I replied.

 

“THAT’S MY POINT SOOYOUNG! I’M TRYING TO AVOID YOU! I TRIED STAYING AWAY FROM YOU! WHY? BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO BE HATED BY SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS! THEY HATE ME BECAUSE I’M CLOSE WITH YOU!” Jessica spoke.

 

“THE HELL THEY CARE ABOUT US? WE HAVE EACH OTHERS BACK! WE CAN WORK THIS OUT! YOU DON’T HAVE TO AVOID ME!”

 

I closed my eyes taking a deep breath. So does Jessica. She tried to calm herself down as well.

 

“I don’t want too Sooyoung. But I don’t want to be hated too. Or I will be in danger. Because you had a lot of friends here Sooyoung. You got friends from primary school. And yet you guys still friends till’ now. And I’m new here. So it’s unfair for me to just take you away from them” her voice cracked and her eyes got teary.

 

“You won’t be in danger as long as I’m here! I cared about you! I won’t let them harm my best friend!” I said

 

 

She remained silent

 

 

“And one more thing, stop doing stupid stuff like drinking, trying to smoke, or not going to  school just to hang out with some of those jerks!” I continued

 

“Stop controlling my life! Stop interfering everything!” she yelled

“I just wanted to protect you!”

“I DON’T NEED YOU TO PROTECT ME! I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. ALL I WANT IS FOR YOU TO GET OUT OF MY LIFE AND LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE! STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO OR WHAT NOT TO DO!”

Jessica stood up and glared at me with her eyes filled with tears. So does mine. I  cried even more because I didn’t expect Jessica to say that. I froze and just stared at her. Still can’t believe what’s happening.

 

“Jessica, please take that back” Yoona, who is Yuri’s twins begged to Jessica. Tears also streamed down from Yoona’s eyes

 

“NO! I MEAN THAT! LET’S JUST NOT MEET OR TALK TO EACH OTHER AGAIN!” Jessica stood up and dashed out of the classroom.

 

I broke down and covered my face with my palms. I sobbed non-stop and the YoonYul twins started hugging me telling me that it’s okay. That they’re always here for me. My other friends tried to catch up with Jessica, who is also probably crying right now.

 

J-Jessica hates me. I thought

 

 

End of flashback

 

 

I let out a deep sigh once again, as I tightly closed my eyes. Do I deserve that? Do I? Is being too friendly is also my fault? I actually never wanted things to be in this way. And I never expected it either. And the way she avoided me just because she doesn’t want to be hated by some of my fellow friends is just stupid. Why does she even give a damn about it? She can just ignore them, even if I know it’s not that easy. But I’m here. I always did.

 

And you know what’s hard for me to deal with now? When someone asked me…

 

“Do you have a best friend?”

 

With that question, I felt like someone just stabbed me in the heart. It hurts.

But still, my answer will always be the same

 

Yes

 

And they will start asking again

 

“What’s her name?”

 

And that hit me again. Do I really have to face such situations? But it’ll be rude for me to not answer.

 

“Jessica” I replied with a fake smile.

 

 

But nobody knows that…

 

 

Deep inside…

 

 

It hurts like freaking hell.

 

 

 

Flashback

 

As my teacher were writing something on the whiteboard, Jessica and I was playing at the back of the class. Bullying people, gossips, making those derp faces. The teacher turned around and we immediately stop everything that we’re doing.

 

“So,I’m doing some game and it needs at least 2 people in one group. So pair up and we’ll start the game” our teacher smiled

 

“I’ll pick Sooyoung!”

“I’ll pick Jessica!”

 

We both said in unison. Then laughed at our own reaction.

 

“You guys are noisy. You can’t be together” our teacher spoke

“But teacher, Jessica is my life!” I said

“Yes teacher! Sooyoungie is like the other part of me. And I’m incomplete without her!” Jessica whined

“You guys are being over-dramatic. This is not a Romeo and Juliet scene.”

 

We laughed at her statement

 

“Tell me a reason why I should pair you guys together” the teacher asked

“Because we’re best friends!” we both said.

 

 

“And best friends stick together!” I spoke

“And always have each other’s back!” Jessica replied

“And we thought of the same thing!”

“And insult people together!” Jessica continued

 

“And insulting people is a good thing for you guys?” teacher gave her confuse look

“No, a FUN thing” I replied

“Fine fine. Now take this and do it. DO NOT PLAY”

“Thank you!!!” we bowed

 

 

End of flashback

 

See how fun it was back then? Don’t you miss those kind of stuff? Or.. Don’t you LIKE those kind of stuff? Well, I do.

 

My eyes got teary again. I can’t help it. I tend to cry when it comes to this. Especially when it comes to best friends. I just missed how proud she was calling me her best friend and I was the best of the best she ever had. That made me feel special, because no one have ever said that to me.

 

Is it my fault that I can’t be good enough for her?

 

Is it my fault that I left?

 

Is it because of me that we’re keeping distance?

 

 

Yes, I l left. Because, as I said, I was dealing with family problems and I was transferred to somewhere else. Which keeps me a distance with my other friends as well.

 

I forgot to mention that we make up a day after our big fight. Because we can’t stay mad with each other. We’ll always see each other no matter how much she tried to avoid me. Nonetheless, she’s sitting beside me. So even if she switched places with others, she’ll still be in the same class as me. There’s no point actually.

 

THE ACTUAL REASON WHY WE FALL APART IS BECAUSE OF THIS.

 

 

 

D.I.S.T.A.N.C.E

 

 

 

Yes. Distance.

 

 

I don’t blame my family for moving me here actually. Because everyone should at least faced some hard times in life. So, this is mine. I really did have a hard time. Why? Because you met new people, in new places, new surroundings, and their different way of thinking. But as time goes by, I actually got used to it.

 

I keep in contact with Jessica, Yuri and Yoona the twins, and their cousin Seohyun. Because I never wanted to forget them. Never.

 

But when I talked to Jessica, told her about my life here, she acted like she didn’t care at all. She replied with short texts and it pisses me off and we started arguing again.

 

And make up after a few  days.

 

But it’s different when I talked to those twins and Seohyun. I felt comfortable talking with them now more than I talk with Jessica. They’re always there for me, whenever I need them. And I told them my secrets instead of Jessica.

 

Jessica also got pissed because she realized that we didn’t talk much. And she knew that I told them my secrets instead of telling her. I explained everything and it’s a great thing we didn’t fight.

But what pissed me off? Jessica had a boyfriend. I’m not stopping her to have one, but she’ll only talk to me when she had problems with her boyfriend. As if I’m just needed when she needs to express herself. And I hate that. I hate the fact that I’m just being used when they need something or want something. I REALLY HATE THAT.

 

But still, I listen to her problems. Every single problem. But when it’s my turn to let out my sadness, is she ever there for me? NO. And it’s okay. I understand that. Because that’s how it’s supposed to be right?

 

I lie down on my bed again and looked at the picture hanging on the wall. It was a picture of Me, the Yoonyul Twins, Seohyun and Jessica together. I smiled as I hope to meet them again when I get back. And I’m actually glad to have YoonYul twins and Seohyun by my side because they never left me. But my memories with Jessica will forever remain in my heart.

 

So now, I’m closed with the YoonYul twins and Seohyun more than Jessica. I don’t know if Jessica still thought about me the way I do for her. But it’s okay. If she needs me, I’ll always be there for her. Right by her side.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Always.

 

 

_____________________________________________________

That’s a wrap! It’s long. I know. Kekeke.

I’m pouring all my sad feels out T_T this is real actually.

So basically, Sooyoung is Me, Jessica is my ‘bestfriend’ which her name was Selene, Yoona and Yuri aka the YoonYul twins were Mellnie and Mellsie (which is really twins), and Seohyun were the twins’ cousin which her name is Sheralyn.

Yes, I’m not embarrassed to put their names here because they are my friends.

So um.. I hope you like it! Please do comment! :D