the most gorgeous looking guy in school walked towards me with a enormous bouquet of 99 roses. the school corridor was filled with female students from junior and senior classes on either side, looking in awe, and I let myself soaked in this feeling of pride. the guy handed me the bouquet the moment he reached me, and i looked up at him, but the lightings on the celling was so blinding, i could only make the outline of his body and his neatly fallen fringe that swept nicely across his forehead.    "please dim the lights! it's too bright!" i called out but no one could hear me in all the loud gossiping around me. adding on to my frustrations, i could not hear what he was saying either.   "i can't hear you." he bent closer and i could imagine him repeating something but still i couldn't hear.   I wanted to grab him arms and find a place just for us, but somehow, i couldn't locate him. He was moving away, further and further, and the girls around close in on me, suffocating me.   "nooooo!!!!"   "wake up! daydreamer!" I hear a loud voice blasting into my ears. awakened from my dreams, I sprung from my bed and crash my head into something really hard.   "wahhhhh itaiiii!" another voice crying along with me and there I saw my elder brother on the ground, rubbing his forehead intensely and shouting at the top of his voice.   "Baka!!!! but then what can I expect from you. never dated before, no wonder dreaming about guys all day long. drooling over them in your sleep. seriously~"   "what the~ Nichan!! that's personal attack! and I'm not dreaming about guys!"   "I can't really be bothered! Mirai, Mirai, when will you stop daydreaming... if you don't, you're going to be late for your last day of school before the summer break."   "oh ..." I rummaged through my clothes and dressed up as soon as my brother exited the room.   My brother, Shida Daiki is right. I was single throughout my life, well technically 20 years of my life. I am jealous of all my friends, cause they're either attached or they have someone who has a crush on them. all I have is people I liked but never the other way round. I can only say, my life is...   "can you stop being so sloppy! pull up your tie and wear your clothes properly." as my mum aptly puts it, that's my life, hectic. it's probably because my brother got all my luck, in studies, in love life. well, my brother stole many girls' hearts in his senior years and after he started working, he finally settled with one of his junior beaut and have been dating for a year now. his life is so smooth-sailing, he's really the pride of the family, unlike me, a mess.   "I know, I know. be a little like brother right. I know. I'm done with breakfast. bye!" I ran out with my half-eaten breakfast on the table.   "oh and mum, i forgot to get some warm stockings for my trip to Hokkaido with Suzuka and the rest. Could you get for me? thanks mum! and I can't find my travelling pass, please help me with that too"   "seriously~" I could hear my family shaking their heads and gossiping behind my back as I ran out of house. I've grown used to it anyway, I'm never perfect in their eyes.   not in my sensei's too.   "sensei! Gomenasai~"   "what's the reason this time?" As I was about to answer, I saw my best friends Nakajima Yuto and Ohgo Suzuka frantically hand signing, but I couldn't understand and was too pressed for an excuse to decifer.   "i was held up in a traffic"   "ah is that so, Nakajima Yuto?" he stood up and lowered his head as soon as sensei shifted her focus on from me to him. it's just then I realised her purpose of asking me for the reason cause any discrepancy from my friends' answers with mine would suggest i'm lying.   "Gomenasai... Sensei, it's my fault. I overslept."   "and you told your friends to cover up for you, am I right?"   "yes~"   "Shida Mirai, can you please stop all your nonsense. already in your 2nd year and I see you leading your life aimlessly. you're like a lost bird." I was so angered as her words continue to put me down. but then what she said is not exactly wrong. but seriously, I don't need her to say.    "You clearly need some wake up call. you need to understand how important it is to live life to your fullest and not waste your life away. perhaps, this will help"   "huh?" she passed me a brochure and turned to look at the class. as I tried to read the title, I realised what she's gonna put me through.    Volunteer attachment at Tokyo Hospice.   "please give your applause to our volunteer this summer break who will contribute her month of service to a great cause on behalf of the class." the class cheered as they celebrated the fact that the unlucky one wasn't them so it wouldn't ruin their holiday plans.   " nooo sensei.... gomene. please I already planned a Hokkaido trip..." I looked at Suzuka and Yuto, hoping to call for help, but they returned a helpless face.   "you just have to give it a miss. lets get back to lessons now."   "sensei~" I continued whining, but she did not budge. "Go to your seat"    I slouched as I walked towards my seat, burring my head on the desk as soon as I reached. The whole lesson I'm just brooding over my holiday being entirely ruined for some volunteer work. seriously, who is so kindhearted enough to do such community service, those beneficiaries know better that we students are just doing so we appease the teachers. it's all just an act to show how compassionate we are - reality is, most of us know its all really just a fake. and this time I'm the actress. pfft.   "Mirai! I told you to pull up your socks and avoid trouble at least this week right, and you just have to get into trouble on the last day." Suzuka nagged and the moment she did, I slammed my head on the table.   "I know~"   Umika and Chinen came and joined the fun, patting my back and giggling "don't rub salt onto her wound already, Suzuka."   "Anyway Mirai, who is it this time?" Umika cheekily asked, leaving the rest in a confused state as they didnt understand Umika's question.   "I don't know~I can't see~"   "Jesse? Yuma? ... ah ah Ryunosuke senpai?" she made the wild guesses, and the rest finally understood the question.   "seriously, Mirai, you are late because you were dreaming about guys??! serve you right!" Suzuka mocked and the rest broke out in laughter.   "it's not like I can help it.. it's my dream."   "hmm, then we'll just have to go without you, ne minna?" Chinen added.   "gomene, Mirai" Umika came closer and comforted while the rest openly discussed the details of the trip.   "ah you guys are so irritating." I stomped out of the room, but the rest continued, making me more peeved.   "that's so evil... can't they be abit more compassionate towards my feeling." I said to myself, but my ranting was interrupted by a voice calling out to me from behind.   "Yuto? ah, just go on and discuss with them..."   "no, I told them I'm not going too."   "heh? why?!" I looked at him in an astonished face.   "it'll be difficult for you to do volunteering alone, so I figured I didn't mind going along. it'll be fun doing with a friend, right Mirai?"   "Yuto~ but your Hokkaido trip?"   "forget the trip, I think I rather spend it on something as meaningful as this.." he mumbled something after but I couldn't quite make out the words.   "meaningful? you're really the perfect volunteer those social groups would love having... thanks Yuto!" my face revealed a smile of gratitude, and in return I was so absorbed by the sunshine smile Yuto gave. he's really a nice friend, who never forgets about his friends, and will stop at nothing to care for them.    "I'll treat you lunch, ne Yuto!" I pulled my arms over his shoulder but gave up eventually cause he is just too tall for that. this tickled him and we broke out in a concerted laughter. instead, he placed his arms over mine and my height seemed comfortable for resting his arms.   "do we need to do abit of research before we go..." Yuto asked, as usual a perfectionist, and me the slacker.   "what's there to research about, it's just any hospital. lets just go there and do as instructed. hopefully, 1 month will past like the wind"   never did I expect this 1 month to be so life-changing for everyone, especially me.   ***** I paced towards the station restlessly, still regretting not being able to go for the trip. the past few days, I'm just getting mocked by my parents and my brother. I looked at my watch and realised I was running late, but i retained my snail speed as u drag my feet down the lane towards the hospice.   "oi, Mirai! we're so late, hurry up!" up ahead, Yuto was frantically shouted at me when he saw me. why is he so anxious? it's not like we're getting paid for this. When I'm finally near, he grabbed my arms and dragged me forward.   "Yuto~ I'm so tired... I wanna go Hokkaido instead... not here..." I whined.   "I know. we can go next time, but from today, lets make the best out of this okay."   my whining has unconsciously interrupted the quiet atmosphere in the hospice. when i finally realised the ruckus we caused, I saw many pairs of eyes staring at me, some in curiosity, some in frustration. noticing we quietened down, they resumed their activities, and then I realised the situation I'm in. those people, they really look sick. alot of them looked frail, and some were so skinny they looked like a pack of bones. there are ones in crunches and wheelchairs. but the most heartbreaking were the cries from the family members. I feel my limbs weakened at the sight. I turned to Yuto and we both could almost sense the same question running through our mind.    "are we at right place? this doesn't look like a hospital... it looks like a~"   "it's a hospic