DONGHAE POV

 

Music festival just done, perfectly and succeed.

 

Well, that’s more or less the reason why principal is in his good mood and gathered all the students as to thank us for the participation.

 

I’m not interested to hear it, though.

My mind wanders everywhere.

 

His talk is just about how proud of him having such a creative students, this, that, whatever, I just not in the mood to hear anyone’s talk.

 

Kind of good enough he used the first hour of study for us, so I didn’t have to stick in history lectures from Mr. Kwon for the next hour.

 

But then, here I am, standing between the crowds, facing the principal whose words I didn’t catch anymore.

 

“I’m trying.”

 

.

 

Why I suddenly remembered that?

 

 

“Now let’s hear from the head of the committee, our brilliance student Lee Sungmin,” I heard a voice calling Minnie as I spotted him walking towards the front.

 

“You ing did—“

 

I bit my lower lip.

Hyukkie.

 

Hyukkie…

 

I…

I missed him like so bad.

 

I haven’t contact him since the last time I saw him—that exactly when he ran off from me.

His parents are going back to Europe like yesterday, and Hyukkie didn’t even ask me to accompany him to the airport.

 

Thinking about that, made me really, hurt.

 

“Hello everyone!” Minnie’s cheerful voice echoing, but I didn’t seem able to concentrate to him.

 

Aish.

He always wandering my mind ever since.

 

I even unable to sleep yesterday…. Just because I couldn’t threw away my guilt and regret for being too harsh.

 

I want to apologize.

 

 

But…

 

I’m afraid he’ll send me off again.

 

Afraid he’ll pulled his hand from me again.

 

 

Well—just don’t let that happen.

 

 

But I just…

 

Gosh, such a coward.

 

You’re at fault, at least you have to apologize to your hurting boyfriend, Donghae.

 

 

I’m at—fault?

 

 

Suddenly, I heard clasping sound from everyone which I immediately know that Minnie is already finish—or about to? Since he walks back to the microphone.

 

“Before I forget! I’m here, representing Rox, will inform you guys that the first selection will be held today, for the first graders who already sign to participate,”

 

A crowd of yells in excitement appears.

 

Hell—to-today?

 

I almost forgot about it.

 

 

Gosh.

That’ll make me unable to go home with Hyukkie even more.

 

Even if Hyukkie doesn’t want to.

 

 

Ugh, hurts.

 

“Just for additional info, we’ll be recruiting 2 members more, either from 1^st grade or 2^nd grade. And we’ve already pick our other 2 members from the first grader, which…” He giggles, “I bet you all knows that already, maybe?”

 

“Woooo!!! Kai!!”

 

“Kris!!!”

 

I sigh. Yeah they’re pretty popular and talented. I’ve observe them when I’m passing by, or took a visit to their class, they seems have a lots of friends—and fans, even I spotted someone in my class fangirling over Kai—so there’s no doubt of them, I know they’re nice guys.

 

“Yep! Kai and Kris from first grade! So then, from now on, they’re one of Rakoonoxes. Treat them well, ok?” Minnie said, “For now, I think that’s it. Thanks for the participation!” He added, before really leaving the microphone.

 

 

This is making me uneasy.

My mind is struggling to meet Hyukkie, to be with him, hug him, feeling his heavenly scent.

 

But I doubt I could meet him soon.

 

“I’m trying.”

 

 

—again?

 

 

I sighed heavily, lowering my head in desperate since that words keep echoing inside my mind without I even realizing it.

 

I swear if it’s continues, I won’t be able to think about any other thing because that thoughts of Hyukkie keeps on lingering in my head.

 

He never mad at me like that.

 

Just thinking about it—maybe I could even cry.

 

It’s just too heartbreaking yet frustratingly makes me mad.

 

 

If he, just…

 

If he just trust me, then everything will be fine, I guess.

 

If only he could bother to understand me and trust on me, keep his faith in me, believing that I love him so much I could die for him… Maybe there won’t be any quarrels between us.

 

It’s just, he seems like he doesn’t really know, or maybe doesn’t really careabout what I actually feels.

 

 

And that’s, gosh, it’s like, the last thing I want from him.

 

 

 

--\\\--

 

“Hyung?” I heard a voice call for me, make me glance to the source of the voice, and it turns out to be Kyu.

 

“Hm?”

 

“We’ll be in the same group for academic competition that will be held at JYP High, right?” He asked.

 

Oh, right, that freaking competition.

 

Damn it. I almost forgot.

 

“Yeah,” I said as I sigh, don’t really wants to think about it.

 

He sat on the small chair in beside the single couch in front of me.

 

“Principal said… We’ll be going with that girl… Tiffany Hwang?”

 

 

My heart twitched.

I ing knew it already.

 

”The other student that will be joining you is, the new student, Hwang Miyoung, because I see good potential in her. I believe you already know her. Treat her well, okay?”

 

 

Like hell I would!

 

I just don’t want to know about it and something related to her.

 

Can’t it be someone else??

 

 

If it has to be her,

 

Can’t it be not me??

 

Seeing her face make me want to puke, make me want to slap her for taking my Hyukkie, for maybe being the reason why Hyukkie still refuse to trust on me, his own boyfriend, his love, his only person that care for him more than his whole life!!

 

“H… Hyung?”

 

 

I gasp.

“Huh?”

 

Kyu stared at me as worry painted over his face, and I know I just showed to him how bad I don’t like her.

 

“You know, if it’s possible… I’ll try to talk with the principal,”

 

I glance at him, more like glaring I bet. “If you’re going to talk with him, tell him I won’t participate,”

 

Right after I said that, I stormed out of the Rox Room, leaving Kyu alone inside as I apologize to him in my mind for doing so.

 

I’m so screwed.

 

“The new student, Hwang Miyoung,”

 

Of course I knew it!!

 

I just don’t want to ing care.

 

---\\\---

 

 

I ran as fast as I could just after the bell rang, indicating that it’s lunch break, and I knew this is the only time I can meet Hyukkie, since I know he won’t wait for me after school.

 

Well,

 

I texted him like countless time but he just didn’t reply me.

 

Once I desperately want to talk to him—it’s yesterday—and I got no answer from my call, it’s only the dialing tone. And for the second time I tried to call him, his phone is not active anymore.

 

He really doesn’t want to talk to me.

 

 

And I never know that will going to hurt so bad.

 

 

Soon after I arrived to Fukuura and about to find Hyukkie at the library, I felt a vibrate in my pocket which I immediately stopped and pulled it out, just in case it’s Hyukkie.

 

Eh?

 

It’s…

 

 

Fr: Yoona

Mssg: Oppa… Are u free?

 

 

My heart seems stopped.

 

What is it this time?

 

I don’t want to abandon Hyukkie, but hell I don’t want to abandon her too.

 

In such speed, I quickly pressed call to her number.

 

 

“O…Oppa?”

 

“What’s wrong, Yoon ah?” I asked, feeling such concern covering my mind because of her weak voice that I knew something has gone wrong. She’ll never bother to tell me if it’s not necessary.

 

“Are you… Free?”

 

“Yes, what is it?” I asked, frowning.

 

She didn’t reply for a second, before I heard her lowered voice.

 

“I think… uh, oppa… C-can you accompany me?”

 

I stunned.

 

Well, it’s not that I don’t want to, but… Hyukkie—

 

 

“… I need to go to the hospital…”

 

 

Hospital?

 

“E-eh?!” I gasped, as panic owned me. Why she has to go there? Is she in pain? Oh gosh, I think I have to really fetch her to the hospital so she could… Oh god.

 

“Where are you??”

 

 

God, I don’t know why I’m so panic right now.

 

Maybe because her voice is not so cheerful and weak, I don’t know, maybe.

 

“I… Infirmary… But better we better meet at the parking lot, my car—”

 

 

“Nope, I’m going there, hang on,” I said as I hung up the phone and ran towards the infirmary to meet her and see what’s going on.

 

I gritted my teeth.

 

She’s precious, God.

 

She’s like that, she’s just doesn’t want anyone to be worried, instead she trust me to take care of her.

 

And there’s no way I would disappoint her.

 

 

Ugh.

 

Siwon doesn’t even know.

 

 

“D-don’t!”

 

I let out a sharp gasp, since she stopped me by another sob.

 

“Siwon… O-oppa… He will be dead worry and… Everybody will know…” she said, wiping off her tears and bit her lower lip.

 

“I don’t want… that,” then, those puffy eyes glance deep towards mine. “Please, oppa,”

 

 

God, seriously!

 

I couldn’t even know what to do when I’m the only one who knows that.

 

I want to take care of her, I want to tell Siwon, tell Hyukkie, tell anyone else but I know that way, Yoona will so mad, and so disappointed at me.

 

This is freaking me out.

 

What if I couldn’t…?

 

Geez, stop it already!

 

 

 

Soon as I arrived to the infirmary, I saw Yoona in front of the door and waving at me. Her face—oh shisus, her face is so pale.

 

“Yoon ah, are you okay? What happened? How are you feeling?” I cupped her cheeks, searching for her stare before she smiled at me weakly and nodded.

 

“Can you drive me… to the hospital?”

 

I quickly nodded and dragged her towards the parking lot after she handed me her car keys.

 

“That purple car, right?” I pointed to one of the car there, to the only one purple colored jaguar, the same car she drove the day she told me.

 

She sighs, “It’s fuchsia, not purple, oppa,”

 

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever,” I muttered and hurriedly opened the car door for her, since she’s so weak and hardly walking by herself.

 

Along with my driving, I couldn’t stop worrying about the figure beside me, since she just look down, sometimes closing her eyes and giving expression like she wants to cry.

 

It does break my heart.

 

 

“It’s lunch time,” She suddenly muttered, made me raised my brows. “I guess I’m ruining your date,” she continues while smiling weakly.

 

I gasped.

 

Hyukkie.

 

 

“A-ah, not really, I haven’t seen him,” I replied, feeling so stupid because I just forgot about him. But what can I do? I’m afraid something’s wrong with Yoona. She only leans on me, I couldn’t do anything, right?

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

I glance at her, “Huh?”

 

“Your face looks pale when I mentioned him. Will he mad?” She chuckle, “Maybe he will. Tell him sorry, but…”

 

I just silence.

 

“But don’t tell him anything… About this, please?”

 

 

I held my breath. Of course I couldn’t tell this important thing to my own lover. I really, really want to tell him but I couldn’t, I can’t just let the trust I get from her vanish like that.

 

I need Hyukkie to trust me too.

 

Seriously, that’s all I need.

 

Things are getting so hard for me these days, and I really need his support, even… Even he didn’t know what’s going on.

 

 

Yoona just diagnosed with that killer disease—stage 4 leukemia, just about 2 weeks ago. It shocks me, I never thought that she will get that kind of disease that kills so many people already.

 

 

She knows that it’s already late when she knows it, but she keeps trying to do some chemo and other therapies. Yet, she insist to keep going to school while she still strong enough to go.

 

I know she easily got sick, but I never just thought that it would be this kind of sickness, seriously.

 

Her parents—damn, I’m so mad at them. They still keep on working even though I already inform it to them. Her mom has visits her but not every time being beside her and supports her.

 

Thinking about that, I almost cried.

 

 

“O… Oppa?”

 

I blinked. Ah, we almost arrived.

 

“You haven’t tell him, have you?”

 

 

I frown. Tell who?

 

“Huh?”

 

“S-siwon oppa,” she replied. “Or maybe… Your boyfriend,”

 

I shook my head as I let out a heavy sigh.

 

I haven’t, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to tell them.

 

 

Seriously, I might have many fights with Hyukkie just because he didn’t trust me in this.

 

And Siwon, he hasn’t back from US or somewhere and he might be won’t come back if I didn’t tell him about Yoona, his cousin that he loves the most.

 

“Oppa, I’ll be just… You can go back to school, just in case there is something important. Just fetch me back here after you finish if you can since the car… I’ll need it,” She said, holding the car’s door, about to get off.

 

I sighed. “I’ll just take a taxi from here, it’s okay,”

 

 

I don’t really want to go and leave her alone like this.

 

But after school, there will be a selection of the 1^st graders which I already being a burden if I didn’t participate in selecting them.

 

I’m the president, for heaven’s sake.

 

 

“I’m sorry I can’t accompany you today,” I lowered my head by the guilt while parking the car, but then she shook her head.

 

“That’s okay oppa, I can do it myself. Just pray for me,” She said. “How about… Saturday chemo?”

 

“I’ll accompany you,” I replied quickly with a smile to make her happier.

 

I turned off the engine and head out the car, helping her, give the car keys to her before bid her goodbye half heartedly, and leave the hospital building after catching a taxi.

 

 

I messed my hair.

 

She looks so weak and vulnerable.

 

 

How could I have a heart to leave her just like that?

 

She never let me down.

 

 

*FLASHBACK*

 

“Hae… oppa?” I heard a gasp quickly from the door, made me weakly turned, to see a familiar figure, Yoona, clasping her hand on in shock.

 

“H.. Hey,”

 

What should I do?

 

What should I say?

 

 

I cut my wrist?

 

I don’t want to live because he asked me to go with him?

 

 

Yoona walked towards me slowly as she frown, staring at me in disbelief and sadness.

 

“Leeteuk oppa said that you… tried to k-kill…” she burst into tears. “Yourself?”

 

 

I felt pain in my chest.

 

 

“Why, oppa?”

 

I just bit my lower lip, unable to say anything because there’s nothing I could say for a moment. Yesterday, Kangin hyung and Leeteuk hyung already visited me and I’m glad they’re now fine, since I’m afraid they will get injured because of the stupid bodyguards who beat them up.

 

I almost forgot what Yoona will say about this.

 

I lowered my head down.

 

“He… I’m sorry, Yoona,”

That’s the only thing I could say.

 

She started to cry, her shoulder is shaking.

 

W-what should I do?

 

I want to rub her back and make her calm, but I couldn’t because this infusion and my body seem still so weak.

 

“Why you chose to leave this world?” She sobbed, staring at me with her wet eyes.

 

Seeing it make me want to cry.

 

But I have to hold it.

 

“O-oppa pabo!” She sobbed harder, “Pabo!”

 

I just watching her cry for so long, maybe ten minutes, don’t even know what to do until I decided to say something so she can stop those tears from overflowing and make her eyes puffy.

 

“I’m a pabo, I know,” I said, pouting. “Can you stop crying?”

 

She didn’t reply, just walking closer to me and start to put her bucket of flower that currently in her hands into a vase. Thank God her tears have stopped flowing.

 

I’m feeling so hurt knowing that she cried so much for me, care for me, but I can’t do anything for her.

 

For about 5 minutes, we didn’t say anything, but I found her glancing at me, which I smiled at her. Well, that makes her smile, though.

 

“Promise me you won’t do it again,” She said, folding her arms on her chest, pretending to be mad.

 

I smiled. “Promise,” I replied. “So you’re not mad anymore?”

 

She just shook her head slowly. “I’m never mad, I’m just worried,” She pouted. “If you’re not there, who will protect me?”

 

My brows raised. “Heechul hyung? Siwon?”

 

She inhaled deeply. “They’re not always there, right?”

 

“I’m not, too,”

 

“But at least—huh! Why don’t you just keep your promise?”

 

I chuckled. “I did, I promise,”

 

 

After I replied, I don’t know why she just stood still and not saying anything, not before ten seconds passed before she lowered her head.

 

“If there’s someone you love, you won’t do this, right?”

 

“Of course I won’t,”

 

Eh?

For a second, her expression is become so sad, as sad as when she cried before I almost thought she’s about to cry again.

 

“Yoona ssi!” Suddenly the door’s opened, revealing the servant I used to see with Yoona. “Are you done? You still had piano lesson,”

 

“I’ll come in 5 minutes!” She replied, and her servant nodded while closing the door again.

 

Ah.

Her parents is barely there for her, so I guess I have to be with her often, since I’ve make her sad. What if I die? She will be lonelier.

 

She nodded to herself as she stared at me, then put her hands on her waist.

 

“Well, then! If you had someone you love, one day, be sure to not disappoint that person, okay?”

 

 

I blinked. “Of cou—“

 

“Promise!!”

 

 

I chuckled by her cuteness.

 

“I swear, I promise I won’t,”

 

 

*END OF FLASHBACK*

 

My lips curved a slight smile to myself remembering the time when I did that stupid thing. She came and cried, I never see her cried like that before.

 

Oh gosh, and I made some promises.

 

I’m happy that I’m still here and now able to protect her, take care of her, but…

 

 

Disappoint someone who I love?

 

 

I bit my lower lip.

 

Does she still remember that?

 

I bet she doesn’t… And that’s not really important for now, right?

 

There’s nothing to do with that, and with her.

 

I hope.

 

 

I checked on my watch and it turns out I still have 15 minutes before the bell, so I decided to stop to Fukuura and meet Hyukkie, since I really want to apologize to him as soon as I could, and this is the soonest I could do.

 

There’s plenty of people watching me with confusion all over their face, but I careless.

 

I need to see my baby.

 

I haven’t even thought about eating lunch even maybe I am hungry.

 

Soon, I arrived to the second floor where the library is, but then I caught someone coming out from the library door.

 

I frowned.

 

 

Rakooga’s uniform?

 

Who is—

 

 

“Ah,”

 

I nearly fell when I know who the hell it is, I couldn’t even talk, couldn’t even move.

 

 

“T-tiff—“

 

“Such a coincidence,” She muttered, a smile—I consider it a smirk—formed on her lips. “What are you doing here? Lunch time is almost over, try again another time,” She asked without even putting a desire to know and just leave pass me.

 

What is she doing… Here?

 

 

I glance at her hand and she’s carrying a small bag that I thought it’s for lunch.

 

B-but…

 

Why?

 

Why she ate here?

 

 

With… W-with who?

 

 

I breathe heavily, clenching my fist before stepped in to the library slowly, eyes glued to the ground without I can control.

 

I just… Afraid to see who it is inside.

 

Just after I closed the door quietly, I dare myself to look up towards the corner of library.

 

 

My heart fell.

 

“H-hyukkie?”

 

 

There, my beloved boyfriend, my love, my life, sitting quietly on his favorite couch while staring at me with his straight, cold expression, alone.

 

 

Alone.

 

In front of him, I could see half eaten sandwich that he used to bring often to eat at lunch, not forget to mentioning a carton of strawberry milk beside it.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

 

That voice—that voice used to say loving things to me, coldly asked.

 

 

I couldn’t concentrate.

My mind wanders everywhere.

 

They ate lunch together, alone.

 

Tiffany and Hyukkie.

 

W-why…

 

 

After those scenes of them were being together, appeared just in front of my eyes, and when I haven’t even move on to forget those, a new one already appears?

 

I just froze, standing there.

 

 

“Hyukkie…”

 

He stared at me annoyingly. “What?”

 

D-don’t be so cold to me…

 

 

Many things already happened to me and I really need your trust, your touch, your comforts… Not your careless expression as if I’m nobody to you.

 

I stepped slowly, closer towards him, hoping that when I arrive, what I get is not that cold shoulder but some comforting feeling that I used to get every time we hugged.

 

He just stared at me, with that undefined stare I can’t read, until he stood up and look straight to my eyes.

 

“Where have you been?”

 

 

I froze.

 

Does he know that I… Went out with Yoona earlier?

 

His stare softened, but surely broke my heart because what I see next is a droplet of tear flowing from his eye.

 

I saw disappointment. Sadness, fear, and anger.

 

 

And love.

 

 

He clenched his fist, biting his lower lip to make no more tears coming out that turns out to be useless since another tear just flowing down.

 

 

God.

 

I’ll do anything, anything to just make those tears fade away.

 

I’ll do anything to make that beautiful smile appears to me, for me, not this expression.

 

 

“I…”

 

I tried to speak, but I’m afraid.

 

I’m afraid I’ll disappoint Yoona if I tell him the truth.

 

I’m afraid I’ll disappoint Hyukkie if I lied.

 

 

I couldn’t lie.

 

I never could lie to him,

 

He’ll know.

 

 

I lowered my head, unable to see those expressions even more.

 

“B-baby, I…”

 

“Don’t,”

 

I glance at him.

 

 

 

“Don’t talk to me,”

 

 

-----===-----===-----

 

 

SUNGMIN POV

 

I’m worried.

 

It’s an hour left before the last bell rang, the bell that indicating our study time is over, but the person who’s sitting behind me, he never even back to his normal self ever since lunch time.

 

 

It’s Hae.

 

And he’s been sitting there, holding his head as if he’s thinking but I know he’s thinking about other than the lesson we’re learning now while moving his finger at his pen.

 

 

“Hae,” I whisper, glancing behind. “What happened?” I dare to ask.

 

He didn’t reply, nor looking at me. He just sigh—a heavy one, then bit his lower lip harshly with that expression, expression that make him looks like he’s about to cry.

 

I turned back to the front, sighing.

 

“What’s wrong?” I heard another whisper beside me, that I know it’s from Yesung.

 

I shrugged in worry. “I don’t know, he’s been like that since lunch time,”

 

Mr. Kim keeps on blabbering about math equation, showing us some problems that needs to be solved but I know, Hae is not even here. His mind’s everywhere far from this class.

 

He’s barely like this.

That’s what I’m worrying of.

 

Before the lunch breaks, I know he’s already a bit different—well, but not as different as this one. This is worst.

 

Hmm…

He’s almost late to class, so that means…

 

 

Oh!

 

Is it about Eunhyuk?

 

 

“Yah, Lee Donghae!!”

 

I gasped.

 

Mr. Kim is staring towards the person behind me, showing his killer expression he used every time he scolds a student.

 

Oh no.

 

Don’t tell me Hae isn’t conscious enough to hear him.

 

 

I leaned back slightly. “Hae,”

 

No answer.

 

Oh gosh, everyone is already staring at him and I bet Hae is still, looking down to nowhere.

 

 

“Lee Donghae!”

 

STACK!

 

“…H-huh?”

 

 

Aish, finally. Even Mr. Kim has to throw him with his marker.

 

“What are you thinking about?! Solve this problem!!”

 

I looked back, just to see Hae with his still not too conscious stare as he carry Mr. Kim’s marker, walking slowly to the board.

 

I hope Hae’s okay.

 

He looks so pale, like a lost child.

 

We all hate that expression, and usually Teukie hyung is the one who can cheer him up when he’s down like this, it’s been a long time.

 

Hae is just staring anywhere, not to the white board as he bit his lower lip.

 

 

Hae, focus…

 

I held my breath, looking at him who’s about to write something to the board—I don’t even know if he already look at the question.

 

For a long minute, he didn’t do anything, which makes Mr. Kim frowned in confusion, so as we.

 

“Yah, can you do it?”

 

Well, he is Donghae, the person who has perfect score at the final exam that made by Mr. Choi. How could he unable to do this problem? Well, I don’t really understand, but… Hae will. He’s a pure genius.

 

Suddenly, Hae lowered down his head.

 

“I… Can’t, I’m sorry sir,”

 

Everyone gasped.

 

It can’t be.

 

Hae barely even see the question!

 

This is the first time ever—all this time I’ve been in the same class with him, for 3 years, he never ever unable to solve questions given by the teacher. Never.

 

“What? Are you serious?” Mr. Kim asked, confused. He knows Hae is so brilliant, and in his surprise, Hae can’t solve the problem he asked him to do.

 

 

We are all surprised.

 

 

“I swear this is a dream,” Yesung sounded beside me.

 

Hae slowly handed the marker on his hand to Mr. Kim, before bowed slightly. “Excuse me… I’m not feeling so well,” He said, and then walked to his seat to only grab his backpack and left the class, leaving all of us dumbfounded.

 

Class suddenly full with people talks, everyone talked about how strange Hae is, because he’s so strange and so… weird?

 

Something must be going on.

 

“This is a dream,” Yesung said again.

 

Yeah, maybe it’s just too strange for Hae that he could be acting like that.

 

Seriously, the Lee Donghae?

 

“Pinch me,”

 

I rolled my eyes.

 

“Shut up,”

 

 

Well, I can’t imagine the thing’s happened to him.

 

He seems not too well these days, I bet.

 

 

 

 

What did Eunhyuk do to him?

 

 

“Yah, Sungminnie—“

 

I slapped Yesung’s arm.

 

 

-----===-----===-----

 

 

THIRD POV

 

“My motivation is to make more interesting events that can unite all the students, that’s why I’m interested to join Rox,”

 

It’s been half an hour, since the selection of Rakoonoxes member started.

 

Donghae, Kyuhyun, Sungmin, Ryeowook and Yesung, along with their new members—Kai and Kris, are there to witness the first graders who are interested too be one of them. Most of them show their ability, or maybe just a little chat with the president.

 

The said president—Lee Donghae, everyone knows something distracted his mind badly, but he chose to keep on working on his duty, since he barely helps his friends these days, and this is the only thing he can do to made up everything.

 

“Well, you’re interesting,” Donghae said, smiling—not his real smile, but enough to make anyone feel warm. “Just pray no one’s better than you, Luhan ssi, thank you,”

 

By those words, the said guy smiled widely and bowed, before stepped out the Rox room quietly and replaced by another new student who comes in just seconds after.

 

 

About 50 students has been interviewed—well, about 3-5 minutes each—and it’s getting late. Donghae, on other hand, got so uneasy since the start and keep staring at his phone full of hope.

 

Sungmin catch his eyes to and tapped slowly his shoulder.

 

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Donghae hissed, biting his lower lip slightly before nods in doubt as his hand examining a few students’ identity.

 

“You’re not, hyung,” Kyuhyun, sighs. He definitely caught sorrow and slight despair from the latter’s eyes since the start, but this is his limit to not asking about it.

 

Donghae scoffed. “It’s just not a big deal,”

 

 

He knew, he knew everyone are worrying about him, he just can’t help to keep his mouth shut from letting everyone knows his feeling. Even if he didn’t say, they already know. He’s easy to read.

 

In instance, before letting the rest to respond to his words, he stood up. “I think I’m going now, I chose Luhan for now. We still have half to select tomorrow,” Said he, and throw a glance to his juniors, Kai and Kris. “He’s good, isn’t he? I once saw him in the dance club too,”

 

Kai, nodded to him. “Yeah, he’s nice and popular,”

 

“But feel free if you’re choosing anyone else,” He mutters, start to throw his backpack to his left shoulder and held it with his left hand. “I’m going,”

 

As he leave and just get away from the building, leaving his friends dumbfounded and talk about his attitude this whole day, he just can’t shove that sadness away from his chest.

 

His feeling is so clouded, as gloomy as the sky at the moment, that indicating it’s about to rain.

 

He didn’t care about everything, about the clasp of wind that harshly slapped him in the face, about the chill that he’s become too numb to feel, about his empty stomach which it’s far from important to him,

 

About the fact that he’s going alone, without someone that could make his heart warm by only his existence.

 

 

He’s too hurt, too cold to even care.

 

 

Those harsh words, keep rounding and rounding in his mind, in his head, creating such a heavy feeling that he could even die with it.

 

Don’t talk to me.

 

Without him knowing, a tear already dropped away from his eyes, which soon as he realize it, he quickly bit his tongue to calm him down and shed it furiously as if those are the pain and by doing so, he would free from it.

 

 

But he’s, obviously wrong.

 

The pain is still there.

 

Leaving him numb, as he keep on walking so fast so that he could shooing away the soreness inside him—which again, it’s so useless.

 

Those clouds are getting darker, reminding how he exactly feels.

 

Walking home seems so endless—without the existence of that someone he used to walk together, with hands tangled to each other, spreading those warming smiles yet loving stares, feeling each other’s scent that already mixed, creating a perfect atmosphere that only exist in their world, stealing sweet kisses from the one he love—Gosh, by thinking about that,

 

He knew that he’s been longing too deep.

 

Soon, after the endless journey back home, he glance at the house he’s always stopped by to let his lover rest for the night, or even with him going inside to accompany his love in his sleep.

 

And he froze, in surprise.

 

“H-Hyukkie!”

 

That figure, that perfect figure with grey sweater covered his skin, caught staring at him, as he sat on that wooden chair just in front of the front door comfortably, as if he is waiting for the latter to pass by.

 

As if.

 

 

Surprised, both of them just stunned there, in their position, eyes glancing to each other so deeply they even forgot about the world.

 

“Hyukkie…”

 

Donghae whispers between his breath, and exactly after that, the latter gasped and bit his bottom lip, stood up before going inside that house, closing the door before him.

 

W-why?

 

He couldn’t bear it.

 

He knew they want each other.

 

 

Why the hold?

 

He knew.

 

 

-----===-----===-----

 

 

HYUKJAE POV

 

I glance to my phone, feeling so weak and moody.

 

I missed him.

 

I want him.

 

I want him here.

 

 

I really do.

 

He’s been calling for countless times, yet here I am, sitting on the other side of my couch--try to be as far as possible from my phone, burying my head in my knees desperately.

 

He came home so late.

 

Thank god it didn’t rain yet before he gets back.

 

But, that stare—that pleading stare.

 

I couldn’t bear to see it more, when I… When I know that he’s…

 

Gosh!

Why can’t I just let him be?

 

Why can’t I just comfort him and do what his eyes plead me to?

 

Why can’t I just stop being so cold at him and talk?

 

 

Why can’t I just trust him?

 

 

I said to myself earlier,

 

That I do.

 

But that, before I saw how real it is.

 

 

“OMO!! Isn’t that Hae oppa and… Who’s that?”

 

“Yoona? I guess it’s her,”

 

 

“Are they holding hands?”

 

 

I bit my lower lip, preventing any other tears coming out from my eyes because that would be such a waste.

 

He asked me to trust him.

 

He did.

 

He loves you so much.

 

He does.

 

He does.

 

Trust it.

 

Believe it.

 

 

God damn it!

 

I heard another sob that turns out I’m crying again. I know, trusting him is all that I can do right now.

 

I won’t speak to him unless I could trust him first.

 

I don’t want to be mad at him.

 

Because if I don’t trust him, I’ll get disappointed and mad.

 

 

That stare, I don’t want to see it again.

 

He’s not…. At fault.

 

 

Ring~

 

 

A… again.

 

I just…

 

 

I buried myself even deeper, shifted further from the vibrating source, crying because of my own stupidity, my own shame, my own pain because of how could I not believe in someone who loves me so much.

 

I…

 

I’m sorry, Hae.

 

I’m sorry.

 

I got so jealous because of you with her, so envy to her, so anxious of our relationship, so furious to myself that I’m the key to it.

 

I can’t help it.

 

I love you… That’s why.

 

 

---\\\--

 

I glance at my watch.

 

12.13 PM.

 

He won’t come, I’m sure of that.

 

If he does, I’ll definitely give him my cold shoulder again even if I don’t want to.

 

Even if what I want to do is hug him so tight and never let go.

 

I sip my strawberry milk slowly, try to swallowing away all my uneasiness, even it only works like one percent. Well, I can’t help feeling uneasy.

 

I’m so harsh with him yesterday.

 

Anger owned me.

 

Jealousy, to be precise.

 

 

But… I know I regret doing so.

 

I’m will not able to see that expression again, I won’t.

 

It's just I don't want him to lie at me.

 

I can see that confusion from his eyes, while he about to speak... And-no, I don't want any lies from him...

 

That's why I told him not to talk to me.

 

I just never thought it will be so painful like this.

 

Well, now, I want him to talk to me directly, not by the phone. But the problem is I’m so cold if he wants to talk to me.

 

I’m afraid it will make him mad.

 

Ugh.

 

If only he knows how much I want him.

 

 And if…

 

If only I trust him with my whole heart.

 

It won’t be like this.

 

Aish.

 

 

12.20 PM.

 

He really doesn’t come.

 

 

 

---\\\--

 

 

 

It’s getting dark.

 

I let out a small sigh, feeling that the heavy burden in my chest still won’t go away even for days already.

 

In 5 minutes, I bet, the last bell will ring and automatically, everyone will rushed out their classrooms and go to their next activity, whether it’s a club activity, or going home, or hanging out with friends in particular spots.

 

I have no plan, though.

 

I had my dance practice done yesterday and will be having another practice tomorrow, yet I don’t have any assignments left, since I’ve worked on it today at first break time.

 

There’s just one problem stuck there, inside.

 

My heart, my life, my whole world.

 

How could this happen?

 

I’m really stupid, I’m the stupidest person I’ve ever known for letting such a perfect, flawless, ideal and such a lovable guy ever, showing his broken expression that I know—I’m such a fool, because it hurts me, it pained me, gosh it really did, badly.

 

 

And I only regretted it after it’s all over.

 

I just can’t—I can’t bear to see them together, no matter what the excuse is or the reasons are, just blame me for being so. It’s hard, it’s damn hard to steadying my feelings, it’s better not knowing at all than to know but you actually… Didn’t.

 

 

I’ve drowned deep down, to the jealousy.

 

 

He’s mine.

 

That’s the only thing in my head every bit time I caught them together. Even the pain is unbearable, I know that Hae understand who is he belongs to. It’s just the trust, God, that simple little thing I’ve hardly give—beside all my life, that’s the hardest. Why?

 

Because being a super possessive lover I am, I’m still the super possessive lover.

 

Am I selfish?

 

Am I deserved to be slapped?

 

Am I disappointing my own lover?

 

 

Why am I not even care?

 

Gosh.

 

I’ve obsessed, that’s certain.

 

Oh—and, something realize me.

 

I think I’m already too heated up by the scene yesterday, I honestly don’t really remember about the first thing that made me mad at Hae.

 

 

Saturday, I said.

 

And for the countless time, again, I got madly in my possessive mind, thinking that Hae might be just going out with her, he even dare to tell me that he’ll try; which means, he won’t come.

 

I know I’m kind of a fool that come into conclusion by myself.

 

I just don’t want to get disappointed if he can’t come.

 

I better assume he won’t go.

 

 

Suddenly, the last bell rang, telling all of us that we’re free enough to go now, which replied by some cheers and a relieve yawns because those borings lectures are finally over.

 

For me, I didn’t see any difference.

 

I even get worried—will I go home alone, just like yesterday, thinking about when will I get those warmth I’ve been craving so bad?

 

Looking by how dark it is outside, how those clouds are ready to pour their tears down make me unable to imagine how lonely I might be, again, today.

 

Even Tiffany yesterday accompany me right after I saw those freaking scene even from afar, and she tried to calm me down even it’s not really working, I know that she’s busy enough by her school and he fiancé—well, it’s about to arrange—that I just realize I’m alone, I am by myself, as everybody knows, Hae is always there for me.

 

But not this time.

 

I made him go, and am regretting it.

 

 

Well—If one asked me, do I still mad, gosh, I’m sure I still am, it won’t disappear unless I know he’s securely in my embrace, without any other person disturbing around.

 

But to be honest,

 

 

I didn’t mad at all, I’m not angry at him.

 

Just… furious.

 

Everyone keep on letting us suffered—at least, me—and I’m so mad that I couldn’t do anything about it.

 

You don’t want this too, right, Hae?

 

 

Tell me… You don’t want it too.

 

 

“Omo!!”

 

I froze, instantly stopped my feet by those fangirls’ squeals.

 

Those squeals that I’m getting familiar because they’re squealing like so every time Hae is aroun—

 

“It’s Hae oppa,”

 

 

My eyes widened.

 

I winced by the feels of how my heart is in slight pain by the shock, but I know I have to stay calm.

 

 

Ugh…

What if he’s here for her?

 

W-what if he’s going to fetch her instead of me?

 

I mean… I’m his lover, right?

 

Even we’re in a fight—wait, we’re not fighting. I’m mad at him, that’s the story.

 

Oh, gosh, don’t ing cry.

 

 

Just pretend he’s not here.

 

Just pretend that I don’t—

 

 

“Hyukkie!”

 

 

Oh .

 

 

N-no…

 

Not now, please.

 

 

I’m broken.

 

 

I quickly stepped away, because I know he’s behind me and getting closer. It’s not that I don’t want to turn back and hug him as tight as I could, no,it’s just I’m afraid I wouldn’t let him go again this time.

 

I’m afraid the trust that I collect with all my strength just fade away—no, it’s not about the trust, I’ve figure,

 

 

It’s about letting go.

 

Maybe all this time, I’ve just forgave him with everything he did in front of me, without him even ask for any apology—since I know he’s mine, he’s still mine.

 

I’ve already said that I’m obsessed with him, right?

 

 

I really am.

 

 

Those dreams, those nightmares I had when I got the fever back then, if it’s true, I will act that way literally.

 

I’m so in love with him.

 

 

“Hyukkie…”

 

 

I inhaled sharply.

 

 

No.

Don’t be selfish.

 

I’ll…

 

Maybe I’ll just talk to him by the phone tonight.

 

 

Not now, not when I’m agree to let him be with everything.

 

It’s not that I’m embarrassed because this school is still so crowded by people and some of them watching us, but I’m literally, needs to hide this urge to just give in.

 

I don’t want to take any risk…

 

 

“Hyukkie, just—“

 

Why he keep on following me behind?

 

I don’t want him to see me in this state.

 

I don’t want him to see me in my broken expression—the expression that I hardly hide from anyone.

 

 

I just want to run away from him, not because I am mad, not because I’m not realizing how his voice can make me crave for his warmth even more, not because we’re in the place where everyone can see us, no—

 

No.

 

Not now, please.

 

 

 

“HYUKKIE!”

 

Suddenly, something grasped my shoulder, followed by warmth on my cheek that made me gasped instantly.

 

It makes me turned.

 

 

Immediately, I felt a soft thing pressed on my lips, along with delicious vanilla scent that spreading so quickly—that, I swear it makes my tear fall down in just one simple touch.

 

It fell because I just realize that I need this the most.

 

 

How…

 

How could I be this fool…?

 

 

I slowly closed my eyes; kissing him back, enjoying the overwhelming feeling while I still can—and I swear to myself I’ll do anything to make it happen, every time I want.

 

In no time, his loving whispers, squeals from around us, gasps, and more sounds appears, but I can’t be more careless. Those butterflies are flying around my stomach, giving those feels more, more than I could even overcome.

 

 

I need him, more than anyone should know.

 

I need him, more than I believe that I need him.

 

I need this, I need this warmth, even if I might lie when I said I don’t want it, I couldn’t deny when I said I need this.

 

 

Even those sounds from the others just feel so far away.

 

Even every warmth he shared feels so precious, so heavenly engulfing me in happiness.

 

Even time seems stopped just for only us.

 

Even these really, soft droplets of rain just feel like nothing on our bodies.

 

 

Gosh, I missed these lips.

 

I could see his eyes staring deeply to mine, and it lids closed again just to deepening our moment together, as those warm fingers trailed on my cheek, I swear I can’t ask for anything more than this. I can’t.

 

Because there’s nothing more than this.

 

“Wow…”

 

 

We opened our eyes, and half heartedly parted our attached lips before turned around and welcomed by every pair of eyes belongs to Fukuura’s students, those who are watching us in amazement.

 

I giggled.

 

Why they just like to watch and interrupt our moments together?

 

 

“H-Hyukkie—“

 

Without I realize, I already ran out of the building, dragging him along with me as our hand interlocked together, as if there’re nothing that could separate us.

 

Nothing.

 

 

All this time, those longing feelings—I never thought I could get all my cravings just this soon, without even thinking about what will happen next, it’s just, careless, both of us, careless to the world.

 

Everyone on the road might think we’re a crazy couple, but seriously, what did I say? Careless.

 

 

We are happy.

 

Only a simple kiss that could make us happy, even there’s no word coming out from our mouth, just some smiles we shared as we keep throwing glance to each other.

 

Beautiful moment, I’ll do anything just to make it happen every day.

 

I crave for him.

 

And by his touch, I could tell he feels the same way I do.

 

 

That stare—By then I knew, I’m defeated. I’m weak by that stare; I couldn’t resist any bit of that loving, charming stare I believe he gave it to only me, no exception.

 

We keep on laughing as if happiness couldn’t stop wrapping us, burying us deep down as we knew, none of us mind. None of us even worry about the rain that starting to pour harder, wetting our body until there’s no part of us dry.

 

He pulled me faster just to find any shelter even if we’re already soaked, and I felt something touched my heart when he decided to stop to a place.

 

 

The old bus stop—the place we’ve ever went to back then, before we’re together.

 

 

The old bus stop that’s empty, with broken roof which droplets of water keep pouring down from it, but that doesn’t held us from stopping to the place.

 

I caught his smile.

 

“Remember this place, baby?”

 

 

I won’t forget.

 

I just replied by a little smile as I stepped into the bus stop and stood in front of him, feeling drop by drop of rain hitting our head, but it’s better than the hard rain just out there.

 

I missed it.

 

 

Glancing so deeply to his eyes, he started to lean closer to me once again to lock our lips together—erasing every space between our lips while my hand started to held tightly around his neck.

 

Slight storms appear from afar, yet the rain that seems harder didn’t stop us.

 

He smiled between the kiss.

 

 

“I didn’t bring that jacket,”

 

That… white jacket?

 

The jacket he used to cover our bodies so that we could stay dry, but it seems like that doesn’t helping too much.

 

 

It’s been so long.

 

It’s been so long since our first kiss.

 

It’s been so long since our time together, our time not knowing each other’s feeling…

 

 

Yet we just kissed.

 

Soon after we parted, we glance to each other’s eyes and smiled to each other before he wrapped me with his strong arms closer, to make me feels undeniably warm, I even amazed I didn’t feel any cold at all.

 

“I told you I love you, here, back then,” I whispered to his ear, and he glance to my eyes.

 

“I know,” He chuckled. “I can’t believe you said you want to go home back then,”

 

 

So he hears it?

 

I smiled and giggled, remembering how desperate we are back then, he said he loves me but I’m in a dilemma if I have to confess back or not.

 

“Pabo storm,” I murmured, and he just chuckled again.

 

I missed that chuckle.

 

I can’t believe it’s been so long.

 

We’re together yet… It’s just been so long.

 

 

What happened to us?

 

 

I gripped to his shirt slowly, cupping his face with one of my hand as I’m searching for his stare, that mesmerizing brown orbs that following my eyes, while he titled his head cutely.

 

I can’t believe this handsome guy is mine.

 

I can’t believe he loves me.

 

 

“Why, baby,” He whispers, really softly. “What are—“

 

Suddenly, the big storm appears, jarring loudly make me spontaneously hugged him tighter, and gosh, I never knew I’ll be feeling so safe, in his arms.

 

“Hey,” He my hair.

 

 

I glance to his eyes.

 

“The storm is over,” he said in his low voice, smiling.

 

 “Mind to tell me again?”

 

 

I smiled.

 

"I--"

 

"Dont..."

 

He suddenly cut. "...Say you want to go home again,"

 

 

I blinked.

 

He remembers that day so much.

 

Even months has passed, a year, or maybe after years,

 

Even fights hindering, even a headache prevents him to,

 

I’m sure of it, he’ll still remember.

 

And he treasures it, more than he thinks he could.

 

 

That’s what special about you,

 

Hae.

 

 

 

“I love you.”

 

 

A soft, happy giggles, came out from his lips, made me unconsciously smiled because of his obvious happiness in his eyes.

 

Compare to that day,

Things changed too much.

 

No more dilemmas.

 

No more sorrow.

 

No more painful stares.

 

 

No more unrequited love.

 

Hae leaned closer and give a gentle, loving peck on my forehead before whispering something to my ear.

 

 

"You know I love you more,"

 

 

I...

Know...

 

I'm just feeling too happy; too relieve all of a sudden before even replied him anything. It seems like everything just melted in my chest, the overflowing feelings flew away, unable for me to stop.

 

"Baby..." he called out softly, caressing my cheek. "Why are you crying, baby?"

 

 

I... Cry?

 

 

I heard a soft sob, and I know it isn't Hae which immediately make me realize that I  am cry—no matter how much I want to hid these tears, I just...

 

 

With Hae...

 

I couldn't say anything, my lips don't want to obey me from saying how grateful I am, how relieve I am, yet I felt something warm just never stop flowing through my cheeks.

 

"Did I hurt you...?"

 

 

Now, that stare.

 

That full of worry stare which made me melt even more.

 

I sobbed unconsciously again, and shook my head, as my hands started to wrap him, pulling him closer to my embrace, as if I don't want to let go, and I really don't want to let go.

 

 

“I’m happy...”

 

That, I managed to whisper.

 

By those words, he pulled me even more, creating no gap between our bodies just as he hugged me—so possessively, so full of desire and needs towards each other, as if no matter how hard we hug, that feeling won’t go away.

 

Back then, the rain that currently pouring so hard right now feels so annoying, because it won’t stop, letting us suffer even more, letting us go crazy even more—but now, I wish rain won’t stop,

 

So I could be in his warmth as long as I could.

 

 

Seconds passed, minutes walked by, afternoon almost ended, but the rain, is still watching us as those crystals falls down continuously from up there. Not forget to mention how small droplets still hitting our bodies remembering how broken our shelter is.

 

The thing is, we met no one, yet that makes only us in our own world.

 

And I’ll just do anything to make time stop.

 

I love him so much, so unbearable, this feeling; I must have died if I still deny it.

 

 

For God knows how long, we just staring there, to the wet ground where what I can feel is only his warmth, a slight cold breeze through our wet bodies, yet his hot breath on my neck since he’s cuddling me from behind.

 

Once in every minute, he leans over to catch my lips with his, desirously, possessively, before back to snuggle closer to my neck that I could even feels his comforting selfishness transferred through every kiss.

 

 

“Hyukkie…”

 

I opened my just shut eyes, feeling distracted from the heavenly feelings I currently enjoying but leaned backwards instead.

 

“Mmm?”

 

Kissing my cheek couple of times, he back to nuzzle to my neck and nibble it slowly. Our scents has already mixed together, along with the slight incense of the rain that makes everything seems so calming.

 

“Sleep in my place tonight?”

 

Another whisper echoing on my ear.

 

 

I can’t hold my smile any longer just right after I heard those words, yet I’m thinking about his house residences that maybe watch our existence.

 

 

I glance back slightly, shook my head as I bit my bottom lip.

 

“Um… No,”

 

A deep sigh in disappointment obviously appears behind his breath. And seriously, honestly, that makes me undoubtedly happy.

 

“No…?”

 

 

He really gives me the urge to kiss those cheeks.

 

And well—I did.

 

I even turned around, feeling sudden crave for his lips—which brings out to another long, passionate, yet heated kiss where our tongues battled with each others, creating gasps and pants along the way, causing by the urge to keep on kissing, yet we forgot to breath.

 

 

Our eyes met.

 

 

“No,” I continues between those pants, hiding the smile I’ve been dying to show, before leaning closer to give a peck to those delicious lips once again—preventing that disappointed expression, and stared back to those eyes deeply.

 

 

 “Sleep in mine,”

My smile curved. “It’s more private.”

 

He seems shocked—well, I do too, but hell, this is what I did if I am desperately want to be with my lover.

 

And still… Calling him lover seems too good to be true.

 

This overwhelming feeling is the one that push the urge for me to said so.

 

 

Suddenly, he chuckled and slowly leaned closer to kiss my forehead, my cheeks, in such a gentle and loving way—as if he wants to stop me from blushing hard.

 

“As you wish, princess,”

 

Well he just made it even worse.

 

 

I thought that by doing such a romantic things like this, only both of us, between those rains that keep on falling without even care how wet and cold we are already, I thought my feelings, my cravings, my longings of him will at least, decreased.

 

I was wrong.

 

It’s getting stronger and stronger, I don’t even want to let go his shirt from my grip, let him go from hugging my cold body, let him just stepped away from me, just a step away from me.

 

 

His warmth possessed me.

 

 

“Oh…”

 

He raised his brows, showing that expression—expression of him who’s currently remembering about something, and he regret for doing so. Expression that makes my heart stopped.

 

 

What is it about this time?

 

I tightened my grip.

 

 

I know he won’t step away from me, I just… It’s the least I can do to make myself stop feeling uneasy.

 

 

But then,

 

He suddenly putting on that regret stare, that pleading stare, the stare that exactly the same stare he used to see me back then, when I mad at him, when I ask him to go—at the library.

 

It makes me remember that before this, we’re in a fight.

 

It makes me remember the fact that I am mad at him.

 

It makes me-

 

 

“Hyukkie…”

 

 

What should I react, when I already forgot about it all?

 

What should I react, when I’m not ready for another fight?

 

What should I react, when I’m…

 

 

Already too much in love, with you, I barely even mad at you again no matter how hard I try?

 

 

What should…

 

 

“Hey…”

 

His stare is so deep, too deep to my eyes, while I felt his fingers trailed to my cheeks really slowly, as if I’m the most precious thing he’s ever had.

 

Right then, I couldn’t feel anything more as he keep on looking straight, I even afraid, those feelings are so strong for me to resist.

 

 

 

“I’m sorry…”

 

 

That really soft, full of regret whisper he let out, it melts my heart.

 

I can’t even…

 

 

“Baby…”

 

A tear escaped.

 

 

He’s… Crying?

 

He’s crying because of me…?

 

 

He bit his lower lip, hard, holding himself to let out another tear that currently breaking my heart into tiny pieces.

 

But it failed,

 

Yet another tears forming.

 

 

He knew I hate it the most.

 

Seeing him cry.

 

 

He knew I’m feeling broken.

 

He…

 

 

“I’m…” He desperately looked down, gripping tightly to my shoulder as another painful sob managed to escape from his lips.

 

Pain.

 

Soreness.

 

Suffocates.

 

It’s getting more and more obvious, in my chest.

 

This is when I realize I can’t see him cry, on top of everything in the whole world.

 

 

His cracked, husky voice.

 

His break down expression.

 

His…

 

 

“I’m… s-sorry, about… Today,”

 

No…

 

Don’t say it again.

 

 

You hurt me if you do.

 

Don’t …

 

 

“I’m, so—“

 

 

…

 

 

 

I just can’t help it.

 

 

Stop, baby.

 

I always forgave you.

 

 

I always do.

 

 

I’ll do anything to stop you from crying, and kissing you might just a perfect way so that I couldn’t see your suffering stare anymore, as I closed my eyes.

 

You’re even more precious than I thought I am, for you.

 

 

You’re my whole world-like I always stated, but I know I literally mean it.

 

You are.

 

You are, Lee Donghae.

 

 

Don’t let out any other sobs again, as I’m kissing you.

 

Just don’t cry again.

 

Don’t show me those wet eyes when I opened my eyes.

 

 

Just don’t make me hurt again.

 

 

Calm yourself now, but not then when I’m looking at you.

 

I could die in pain,

 

Just by seeing you cry.

 

 

“Mmm…”

 

Our lips parted an inch, but I still couldn’t bear to open my eyes right now, to face the suffering you, even I heard no sobs anymore.

 

 

A finger caressed my cheek.

 

“Hyukkie…”

 

 

Say you love me, say you miss me, say anything you want but don’t say that you’re sorry.

 

 

You’re forgiven.

 

I love you,

 

You’re forgiven.

 

 

As long as you are mine,

 

You are forgiven.

 

I opened my eyes, only to see your eyes that now staring at me with those overloading love in every second you stare at mine.

 

 

Hae.

 

My Lee Donghae.

 

 

As long as you are mine.

 

 

 

“I trust you.”

 

 

 

 

 

==============================================================

[a/n]: *hides quickly under the bed* sorry for ultra late update!!! *bows* *runs*