“Trust me,”

 

 

Those words keep clinging to my head, as if there aren’t any words left in my mind, except it and, yet, his name. That stare—not forgetting how much I’ve mentioned about that mesmerizing stare, I just couldn’t think about anything else, nor speak any word at all.

 

It’s just like everything feels so numb, my all.

 

That night we shared our love, distributing my feelings at the moment—my sorrow, my love, my needs, my longing, it’s just so much, too much that I am certain that I’m angry. I am angry.

 

But I need him.

 

I couldn’t say anything, giving him any response or just pushed him away, cursing, insulting, even those words from almost everyone mercilessly stabbed my back, my front, my deep inside, until it may bleed a river. It’s just hurt, hurt everywhere yet calming, relaxing, because he said so, and he mean it so.

And for the rest of the night, nothing came out from our lips, except our tied-tongues, gasps, pants, soft whines from throat because of the unsatisfied feelings, yet the feeling that I am loved which couldn’t be spoken, and many more, just many more.

 

It’s just ‘cause when you’re decided to love someone,

 

You’ll have to take any consequences by loving.

 

Obsessed feelings, longings, desperate moment when you’re not in touch, addiction,

More happiness and butterflies, yet more sorrows,

 

 

Including,

Broken heart.

 

 

 

I trust you.

 

Whatever you want me to trust you.

 

 

---\\\---///---

 

 

THIRD POV

 

The crowds of people walking, chatting, and one by one attending the music hall as they holding the pamphlet on their hand—those crowds are echoing throughout the school, Rakooga Senior High, which is having a big event today—such as music festival.

Many of high-class musicians will performing, remembering the luxurious Rakooga High School is yet how the people inside—more of the committees are high class themselves, such thing as an elegant event wouldn’t be so impossible if they are the one who hand it.

 

“I heard Jinsang Lee will be performing, I’m his fans like seriously,”

“Don’t forget that Hahn Bin will be playing too, gosh this is just like a dream! I heard Jinki from Fox has connection with him,”

 

All the students, both from Rakooga High and Fukuura High, were impatiently entering the hall while having their thoughts about how will the performances will be.

 

In other hand, Lee Sungmin, the head of the committee, giggled happily knowing and hoping excitedly that the event will come succeed.

 

“Minnie ah, don’t just standing there, it’s about time you give some speech, right?” His lover spoke in sudden, Cho Kyuhyun, the vice of so called organization as he appeared behind him.

Sungmin gasps, just remembered that there’s speech before it all started, feeling dumb. “A-ah, yep, I’ll go now,” He murmured hurriedly, going to jog inside the enormous music hall that could contain thousands of audiences.

Soon, not after five minutes passed, the hall has already filled by students and most of teachers that looking forward to the performances. Nervously, the cute looking guy stepped just on stage, breathing air as deep as he could.

 

“Good morning, everyone,” Sungmin bowed. “I’m the head of the committee in music festival this year, that’s able to run at this Rakooga Senior High with the help of Fukuura’s student, Fox to be exact,”

Some crowds on a side of the music hall, appeared.

 

“This festival is to make us a bit opened about music, and more, we could hear some hidden talents from our school itself, so this could be the very great idea to those who appreciate music,” He continues, showing his cutest smile that melts most of the audiences.

 

“So then, I won’t be wasting our time, to open the festival, how about we heard some of performances from the students?” Sungmin lost in his excitement, since he’s the type of guy who easily burning up with his own passion of art—although, he is an artist not a musician. But that count, isn’t it?

 

The students cheered in agreement, as Sungmin’s grip on the microphone tighten in his euphoria.

 

“Well, then,” He nods, “With this first perfect performer, let’s just greet our first violinist, the first grader of Fukuura Senior High, Henry Lau~ This is Lee Sungmin, I hope you enjoy today’s festival!”

 

As he yells and went out the stage, the music hall’s occupants started to fill the emptiness with clasps of hands, and lowered itself down when a small, cute-looking guy in luxury uniform appears in front of their eyes.

 

And the music festival has started.

 

 

-----===-----===-----

 

 

DONGHAE POV

 

“Kya~! I hope this will be the most exciting day in my life!” Minnie squeals happily, as he stared on Henry Lau who’s just entering the stage from the backstage, the place where we’re standing now.

I smiled. Yeah, this music festival sometimes just held once in 2 years, or maybe 3 years. In this case, 3 years. Since this is my first time too, being the committee.

 

And, if you’re wondering why Minnie is the head of the committee, it’s just because he’s the person who has the most appreciation with music and so energetic if we talked about art. He’s an art guy, and Kyu said he even already got his scholarship in England by the help of his drawings.

 

Seriously awesome.

 

“Oh! I’ll checked our high class performers~” He happily hopped out of where he stood before and ran towards the artists room.

 

 

Oh well…

I actually haven’t do anything except helping Kyu readying the performers from Rakooga and Fukuura. Yet, everyone just already busy with their duty themselves, they never told me what to do and when I intent to help, they said they’re okay and told me to help the others—when the others they meant are saying exactly the same thing.

 

All the Rox and Fox are the committee.

 

But hell—I haven’t seen Hyukkie.

 

 

About him, aish, I don’t think he’s okay with me now, since I definitely know that he’s jealous of me and… that girl, Yoona.

 

Gosh, like, really?

 

I don’t even like her.

 

No, I lied. I like her, of course. I cared about her so much, she’s Siwon’s baby girl that he care about so much, too.

But I don’t love her the way I love Hyukkie.

 

It’s just different.

 

Back then when I never loved anyone yet, when I’m in my junior high school, Heechul hyung always pushing me to love Yoona, since he said I’m the best guy that suits her.

I didn’t know, I’m still a brat that I didn’t know how is it to love someone, I never told him anything yet Yoona is just my best friend, I cared about her so much but I only cared about her as my sister.

 

Is that wrong?

No, it isn’t.

 

“Yah, hyung, what’s on your mind? You looks troubled since yesterday,” I heard Kyu’s voice out of sudden, but I still pretending that I didn’t hear him because I don’t want him to know how miserable I am thinking about my lover.

 

My love is screwed, more than Kyu’s.

And yet he’s my dongsaeng.

 

Well, nothing’s wrong with that, though.

 

“Yah, hyung,” the annoying voice coming through my ears once again, made me unconsciously glance back to him.

“Nothing, I’m fine,” I said half-heartedly, and before he could ask me another question, I already walked further from him, reasoning that I still have to help the others—when I don’t even think I still have.

 

I’m arrived to the corridors, where there’re plenty of rooms there to the performers, and glance around to find a familiar figure.

 

But I failed. I didn’t see him at all.

 

“Err, Minho ah,” I tried to hold Minho from walking away since he looks not as busy as the others. He turned at me and raised his brows in surprise, as if seeing me is the weirdest thing he ever done.

 

“Yes, hyung,”

I bit my lower lip. “Did you see Hyukkie?”

 

He lowered his head and shook his head, but then snapped his head up to see me again. “Oh, I thought that he’s watching the concerts, since the others told him to just watch from the audience seats,”

 

Oh, I see.

We just didn’t see each other since this morning.

 

“Didn’t he tell you?”

 

I was a bit taken aback by that question, which I just shook my head slightly. “Maybe he’s busy,”

 

He shrugged. “Well, I don’t think so,”

“Maybe the performances is just too interesting,”

“Didn’t he tell you before the performance starts?”

 

I scratched my head—more to messed my hair desperately but I managed to hold it back. “No, he didn’t. I maybe just have to go search for him,” I said finally.

 

He still mad, isn’t he?

 

And hell why does Minho just like to firing me up?

 

“If you’re going to search him through the front door, don’t do it, at least now. It won’t be open unless it’s break time or—if it’s an emergency, wait until the performers are done,” Minho responded, made me just feel hopeless.

Henry just started.

 

“Does it have to be that strict?” I unconsciously blurted out in frustration.

 

“Of course, this is professional concerts, a luxury music festival. This is not cheap,” He shrugged again, “You know it so well,”

 

Oh I surely know this is damn expensive—the event.

 

But I just want to see my Hyukkie, or at least dragged him out, we don’t need to watch the performances right? We could help out on backstage together.

 

After a long while of being silent, he’s the one who messed his hair now.

 

“Just text him, gosh, hyung,” he said. “Why you have to be that desperate?”

 

 

Oh great. He’s right.

 

 

I palmed my face. “You’re damn right,” I said and quickly pulled out my phone to text him—before something bothered my mind again.

 

“Won’t it be such a disturbance if his phone rang?”

Minho just glance to the other side. “Of course. That’s why we asked every audience to turned off their phone or at least, keep it silent. Just pray Hyuk hyung made it to silent,”

 

Oh, yeah.

 

“Great,” I implied, hoping what Minho said is true, and began to write a quick message.

 

 

To: Hyukkie

Mssg: Where are u?

 

 

He’s fine yesterday—at least that’s what I thought.

Even if after I ask him to trust me, he didn’t say anything, nor do I, but if he mad, why he just keep hugging me and responded to my kiss?

 

Maybe he just… missed me?

 

Well, that could be.

But seriously? He has to be mad, again?

 

“Hyung, got to go now, Taemin will need some help,” He said and left without letting me bid any goodbye.

 

Aish, that lovebirds are still good, eh?

 

“Hi, Hae hyung,” Suddenly, Jonghyun appears with Key beside him, holding a bunch of papers. I could even see their hands are connected with each other.

 

“Ah, hey,” I just only could reply that short.

 

Here comes another lovebird.

 

“Do you have any problems? Your face is so pale,” Key asked, slight worry formed on his eyes.

 

I shook my head and smiled by the concern. “No, I’m fine, I just… Did you see Hyukkie?”

Jonghyun and Key stared at each other for a second, before stared back towards my direction. “Er, he said he’s going to watch the performance. His phone is on, hyung, just text him,”

 

Ah.

I sighed in relieve.

 

At least Hyukkie got my message that I’m currently searching for him.

 

“I have, thanks,” I said and letting them go, since I know they’re a bit busy because soon after we bid goodbyes, they rushed themselves to the sound system room.

 

I took a glance on my phone, and sighed heavily as nothing came in, not even any message that indicating Hyukkie is replying me back.

 

Doesn’t he miss me?

 

Well, we just met yesterday.

 

 

I…

 

Oh, a reply!

 

 

Fr: Hyukkie

Mssg: Music hall, why?

 

 

Great, he’s really inside the hall. I remember the break time is at 10, which I couldn’t see him for the next 2 hours. But maybe I could sneak inside when Henry’s done?

 

Yeah, let’s just do that.

 

 

--- \\\---

 

I heard some claps echoing the music hall as Henry performance’s ended. Oh well, he’s a really great violinist himself, I almost mistaken him as a high class musicians.

But—hey, I shouldn’t be bothering about this.

 

I walked to the front door of the music hall, where there’s security in front of it. Gosh, will they let me in?

“Um, are you authorized?” one of the guy asked, and I just acted like I am—well, I am, though—, as I showed him my committee ID.  They doesn’t seem to suspicious, yeah, maybe because of my ID, and just let me in knowing that the next performance won’t start. “We won’t open the door unless the next performance has ended,” He said and I just nodded, stepping inside.

 

Oh, well, this place is dark enough.

 

I glance around; feeling useless to do that because hell, this music hall contains 2,100 audiences and seems like it’s almost full.

 

Gosh, should I contact Hyukkie?

I pulled my phone on my pocket, and for awhile took a sit on an empty chair at the last row. Uh, will he answer if I call him? Well, let’s just give it a try.

 

I put the phone on my left ear right after pressing the speed dial for my Hyukkie.

 

“Next performer, from Rakooga High School,” I heard the sound that indicating the next performer will start soon.

I sighed desperately, staring back to my phone which is still letting out the waiting tone, and hurriedly put it back on my ear.

 

Suddenly, it stopped.

 

 

“What’s wrong, Hae?”

 

Finally!

 

“Er, um, Hyukkie, where are you?”

 

I heard a name being called, and a little crowd appears, just exactly like I heard on the phone. So that means he’s really here, but where exactly?

“I thought I told you?” his voice lowered; more like a whisper now, make me just glancing around furiously to search for a figure from behind.

 

That brown, soft hair… I’m sure I’ll catch it with my eyes even from this distance.

 

 

“I… I know, but where exactly?”

“Are you inside?”

“Mm-hmm,” I answered, even maybe Hyukkie can’t hear me because of the next performer is coming out from the stage and the music hall is full with a welcome applause.

 

Suddenly—I spotted someone from the middle row glancing to the back, which I almost certain that he’s my boyfriend. I tried to get up from my current seat and just tried to as quiet as I can, because I heard everyone is already silent as the piano’s sound filled the hall.

 

Just after I arrived to the said row, I turned to the guy who’s turned back just now and holding a phone on his ear, made me couldn’t see his face clearly from this angle.

 

I decided to hang up the phone so that if it’s really him, I would know.

 

At instance, I saw that guy pulled the phone and stared at the screen in confusion, before put it on his ear again for making sure.

 

But yeah, it’s him.

It’s Hyukkie.

 

I smiled happily, knowing that I’ve found him. He, again, stared at the phone while crossing his brows, and just put it back to his pocket as he glanced back towards the place he saw before.

 

Great, now I’ll just see if there’s an empty space so that I could sit near him…

 

Huh?

 

I narrowed my eyes, looking towards Hyukkie’s direction since I kind of spotted something there, something that crossed my mind but… Aish, my sight is… Wait, let me just walked more to the front so that I could see him and what’s been bothering me just now.

 

 

What the?

 

Isn’t that… Tiffany?

 

 

Why the hell is she sitting just beside my Hyukkie and… talking with him oh so closely?

 

I clenched my fist.

It’s been awhile since I didn’t think about her at all because... Because all the lovey dovey acts I had with Hyukkie and… There she is, ready to ruin everything AGAIN?

 

Gosh… Hasn’t it over yet?

 

I messed my hair frustrated, as I just standing there, maybe people who see me will find it awkward, but I careless. My eyes just glued to that who is now whispering something to the guy beside her—that’s obviously my love, my life—even I don’t want to look at them anymore.

 

It’s only a coincidence.

There’s no way it’s planned.

 

S-see, Fukuura and Rakooga students are here and there’re no actual seats for them which there are some possibility that Hyukkie and that will… Sit beside each other.

 

That kissing scene.

 

No.

no.

 

But God—

 

Hyukkie…

 

Baby, why are you smiling so happily?

 

That gummy smile you haven’t even showed it to me since days ago.

 

How dare you break my heart, baby?

 

Aish—

Pabo fish.

 

I ask for his trusts, yet I have to trust him too.

 

But hell—I never thought…

 

 

I never thought.

 

 

 

--- \\\--

 

“Hae?”

 

I am sitting there, at the first place I was sitting on to when I just arrived inside the music hall. I didn’t bother to search for Hyukkie, since I already know where he is. And yet, I don’t want to know anymore about what is he doing with his friend just in the front.

“Hey,” I heard his voice again—that calm, yet cheering voice I used to hear when he’s in his pleasant mood.

 

I glance up.

 

He’s staring at me, in concern, yet he’s leaning closer to me so that he could give a way to people who about to go out from the hall.

 

It’s the break time, I bet.

Which means it’s been 2 hours I’m inside, yet I didn’t realize I’ve watched any performance at all.

 

What happened to me?

 

Well.

 

“Is it over?” I asked, expressionless.

 

He sighed. “Are you sleeping just now? It’s just the break, season 2 will start in an hour,” He added while smiling. Slowly, he grabbed my hand and pulled me so that I am standing up now.

 

“Let’s find something to drink, I’m thirsty,”

 

I just let myself being dragged by him, since I missed him myself. But… My heart feels so, so numb. Even my body is.

I want him, I want to tell everyone that he belongs to mine, but… Unfortunately, everyone knows it already.

I’m so possessively childish, but hell, what should I do when I saw my own love being with a girl that I once saw them… just, so close?

 

Gah.

 

“Hae, something wrong?”

I gasped slightly when I realize, Hyukkie is just coming back with a carton-cup of coffee in his hand, make me frowned.

 

“Coffee?”

 

He chuckled. “I can’t find strawberry milk around. If I want to find it, it’ll take a long time for you to wait,”

 

Aish.

Stop making me fall in love with you again and again, like you didn’t do anything wrong, baby.

 

Seriously.

 

 

He sipped his coffee and sat beside me, eyes examining the ground. “My parents asking you to eat dinner together tomorrow night,”

 

Oh.

“Okay,”

 

I’m not kind of stranger anymore to his mother, since she’s being so kind when the day Hyukkie is going back alone from the beach. She lets me taking care of Hyukkie and even told me to call her ‘umma’, which is, I’m so honored.

 

She actually accepted me to be his… soon to be son in law?

 

Gosh, thinking about that make me…

 

“Hae, what is it? Are you blushing?”

 

I raised my brows and caught Hyukkie’s face just so close to me.

 

 

“No,”

He pouted, and pulled back. “Hmm,”

 

Why he has to be so cute?

 

He sipped his coffee once again, make me raised my hand and he casually handed it to me, which I know he will—just like usual—and I drink his coffee.

 

Well, indirect kiss… It doesn’t even new for us.

 

I just frustratingly missed him, and want to kissed him so bad—well, I have forgotten about our yesterday make-out session—but I know, this is at school and we can’t even do lovey dovey too much here.

 

“I want to kiss you,”

 

Forget the hurt and everything, just think about Hyukkie.

 

He raised his brows while I handed him the coffee back. “You just did,”

 

I rolled my eyes. “I’m kissing your cup of coffee, not your lips,”

“Well then you did yesterday,” he sighs.

 

What?

 

Did he just saying that he doesn’t want to kiss me?

 

Calm down.

 

“Aren’t we supposed to kiss everyday?” I asked calmly, not staring at him as he not staring at me either.

 

“Says who?”

 

Unconsciously, I led my hand to possessively grab his, making him gasped.

 

“Says the boyfriend of yours who is the only one that allowed to kiss you,”

 

He bit his lower lip, frowning but not saying any word.

 

 

Oh great.

I just did that not so romantically, made him actually surprised by my act.

 

Can’t help it.

 

I’m not mad, I’m not.

 

Just… a bit of anger that lighten inside, and that’s nobody’s fault.

 

“Uh, just kiss me somewhere else, it’s full here,” he said slowly, and I’m sure he’s kind of embarrassed—I don’t know if it’s because of me, holding his hand or because of him saying such words like that, just as if he wants me to kiss him.

 

I’m still moody, by the way.

 

 

“Let’s—“

 

“Omo! It’s Hae oppa,” I heard a squeals, followed by another. “He’s with Eunhyuk oppa! Look at them! Seriously cute couple…”

 

I felt my heart a bit fluttered by those words, yet I kind of annoyed since those fangirls who thought that we couldn’t hear them, disturb our moment.

 

Hyukkie slowly disconnected our hands.

 

 

Seriously.

Why he just build up my moody situation instead of making it better?

 

“Just let them be,”

 

I snorted, annoyed because how he disapprove my hand to be with his. He doesn’t even the one who held my hand. I am holding his hand, not the opposite, not even we’re holding each other.

 

“Still—“

 

“Whatever,”

 

 

Gosh, maybe I was too much.

 

“What’s wrong with you?” He whispers, staring at me in disbelief, even it doesn’t even last for a second before he drank up the coffee in his hand, making it empty.

 

Everything.

 

Everything just wrong.

 

Suddenly, he stood up—well, I can smell furiousness in his movement but yet I’m too surprised, because soon as he stood up, he just took my hand once again and I was too dumbfounded to realize where we are heading to.

 

 

I’m sorry Hyukkie.

 

Maybe he’s mad again.

 

 

God, if I were him I definitely will.

I’m such a badass.

 

“Well,” He panted a bit, causing of his fast walking earlier, making me gasp realizing where we are now.

 

The back garden?

 

We’re both in Rakooga now, he just couldn’t go to anywhere he wants like usual, and instead he brings me to back garden—you know, the place that have connecting door between Rakooga and Fukuura—gosh, I never…

 

 

“Kiss me now,”

 

I stunned. He’s… Still thinking about that?

 

I thought he’s angry and decided to just leave or something…

 

 

My thoughtful baby.

 

But, hey… He’s staring at me with that angry and sulking stare.

 

I guess he’s pissed off with me.

 

 

I trailed my hand on his cheek, make him immediately threw his glance away from my eyes to something random in the ground. “Are you mad?” I whispered.

He shook his head, but pouting.

“I’m sorry…” I tried to be as caring as I can, because I may be just hurt his feeling before. And slowly, I leaned closer, to lock our lips together, which he gladly kissed me back.

 

He loves me, I know it.

 

 

I just don’t know 2 things;

 

If he loves only me,

 

 

And if he trust me.

 

 

--- \\\--

 

“You do have problems,”

 

The soft voice giggled in front of me, as I sigh for the nth times already and getting tired of denying something that I really feel.

 

I just look at nowhere, sometimes to the wooden floor that always mopped clean without even realizing that I’m actually looking there.

 

“It’s—“

“Because of me, isn’t it?”

 

The figure in front of me leaned closer to the straw that leading to a mug of vanilla milkshake, before sipping it slowly.

 

I shook my head, still not looking at front.

 

“Of course not,”

 

 

Maybe.

 

 

“Really?”

 

I just nodded, finally looked at the figure. “Don’t worry, you’re not even know what’s my problem is, right?” I replied softly.

 

“Hmm,” a short response, before followed by the others. “If something bothering you, just tell me, oppa,”

 

I let out a small chuckle. “I will,”

 

 

She’s just too caring—

Yoona.

 

Well, we’re at the café near her restaurant now, since she’s kind of having fewer customers, she said. And… Because most of things happening.

 

“You know—you don’t have to always, uh, treat me…”

“It’s okay,” I cut her, feeling guilty because maybe I unconsciously let out such an expression that shows my tiredness. “I’m sorry,”

 

She sighed, after a long silence. “How’s the music festival?”

 

Awh.

I forgot she didn’t attend it.

 

“It’s… good, mostly,” I said, even I’m trying really hard to remember just because my mind is wildly wandered anywhere except the performances.

“You didn’t watch it properly, did you?”

 

I stunned, even I’m not too surprised.

 

She just knows me.

 

“Is it Eunhyuk oppa?”

 

Another thing she knows so well.

She knows I’m head over heels to my own boyfriend, but the sad thing is, the one who knows it is not him, it’s her.

 

“What did he do this time?”

 

Huh?

I didn’t say anything, did I?

 

“He’s not doing anything, Yoona,” I said, trying to defend my baby but…

 

It’s true.

 

That kiss has been bothering me a lot for days, yet he added it with some scene of him and her sitting together.

 

“Oh,” She shrugs, “I’m sorry if he’s not doing something that make your mind isn’t work properly,”

 

He did.

 

I just don’t want to remember that part.

 

At least I got what I want back then—a kiss.

 

“It’s fine,” I replied. “You don’t have to worry so much about me,”

 

She pouted, and twirled her straw. “I always wonder if you’re the same guy who’s just being coma for 8 months straight,”

 

I raised my brows, “I think I am,”

 

“Why don’t you tell me about how it feels? You know, just to prepare—“

 

“What are you talking about?” I sigh.

I really hate it when she become like this.

 

“Okay, sorry,” She puffed her cheeks. “By the way, tell me! Are you really forgot your memories? Siwon oppa told me so,”

 

I nod. “It’s so… Scary,”

 

“You didn’t remember anything?”

 

 

“I can’t,” I replied helplessly; try to remember how I feel just right after I woke up from those long, long sleep. “But the next day I managed to remember,”

 

“How?”

 

“Eunhyuk,”

 

I kind of uncomfortable, calling my baby ‘Hyukkie’ in front of her, which I choose to call him ‘Eunhyuk’ instead.

 

Her eyes getting big. “Wow… He… He made you remember?”

 

 

That’s love.

That’s how I remembered things.

 

Without Hyukkie, I won’t remember. Maybe I won’t even wake up.

 

That’s how precious he is to me.

 

 

“He loves you so much,” Yoona mutters, sipping her milkshake again and chuckled half heartedly. “At least someone’s really care about you,”

 

“I care about you too,” I quickly replied.

 

I hate that expression of her, that she rarely shows it to anyone. Yet, she always did it out of her consciousness, which made me sad.

 

Soon, she’s back to her naïve expression, that cheerful and happy being that I like. “Thank you, oppa,”

 

“You’re a sweet girl when you smile,”

 

She just blushed cutely.

 

“I’ll smile more often then,”

 

 

I smiled. God, how I care about this girl so much.

 

I want to protect her.

 

 

“Sorry if I couldn’t make you smile as often as I want you to,” I said, biting my lower lip remembering how my emotions can make my mind screwed, and just like earlier, I couldn’t even tell if I had a problem or not.

 

“Ah, well, it’s okay. I know life’s hard, oppa,” She chuckled.  “And, you know…”

 

I frown. “What?”

 

 

“Struggling to live is harder,”

 

 

--- \\\--

 

 

“Ah, Hae, Hyukjae’s father is curious about what college you’ll apply after you graduate,” Umma, Hyukkie’s mom, asked.

This is the moment when I get to know Hyukkie’s parents better.

 

I’m just glad they already accepted us even I haven’t met them before—to assure them that I’ll protect their son no matter what—which that makes me relieved.

 

I smiled, always try to look good in front of them. “I don’t know yet, maybe I’ll take management and business, so that I could continue my father’s business,”

 

“Oh,” Hyukkie’s dad raised his brows. “Your father? I know him,” he said as he nodded to himself.

 

Me, couldn’t respond anything that related to my dad, just smiled. “Oh, I… I see,”

 

 

Well, I do remembered what’s happening between and my father—I just already get tired of it and decided to just go on, since he’s already being so nice to me, so does his wife Yuka.

 

“Oh! By the way, Shindongie said that you’re a genius, Hae ah,”

 

Suddenly, umma said again.

 

Ah.

That’s not even…

 

“Well,” I lowered my head politely. “I don’t—“

 

“He is, umma,” I heard Hyukkie’s voice beside me, cutting my sentence as if he knew what I’m going to say.

 

He glanced at me once, and back to his meal. “He won as the first winner at science and math tournament, beating those smarties in the whole South Korea, that’s when he’s at 7^th grade. He also became the best graduates at his junior high… And had already joined 7 tournaments of math and 8 tournaments of science and astronomy…”

 

I gaped.

 

“And he won everything,” he stated, before sipping his strawberry smoothie.

 

I stared at him in disbelief.

 

Like, seriously?

 

I never tell him, nor I care about those…

 

“How did you know?” I whispered softly, but then he frowned at me.

 

“How would I didn’t know?”

 

Oh.

 

He’s my… boyfriend, right.

 

I just never knew he would know something about that, even remembers it, gosh.

 

I swear I want to kiss him.

 

But—well? Not in front of his parents.

 

 

“OMO! Is that true Hae ah?” Umma squealed as she raised his brows, staring at me. So does Hyukkie’s appa whose lips parted in disbelief.

 

Uh,

I couldn’t say no, can I?

 

“Uh, I… Yeah, kind… Kind of,” I said, disliking the part that we’re talking about my achievements. It’s not like that’s bad, but… I just don’t like it.

 

Umma covered his mouth with her fingers, glancing at Hyukkie’s appa, and then Hyukkie. “I never know he’ll be that brilliant!”

 

 

Ah, am I?

I never know either.

 

“You’re such a lucky person, he chooses you to be his lover,” Hyukkie’s appa shrugged while nodding, before stared at my eyes. “I know you can make him happy,”

 

 

Well.

I am lucky.

 

Hyukkie chose me; even he went gay just for me.

 

That’s an opportunity to make him became the happiest person alive.

 

“I bet girls at school were head over heels for you,” Umma giggled.

 

I just smiled. They just didn’t know that their son is pretty popular himself.

 

“Yeah, they are,” Hyukkie murmured, eyes glued to the empty plates where the steak belongs to before.

 

 

Huh?

I bit my lower lip, doesn’t care if their parents watching us. Leaning closer to his ear, I whispered.

 

“But I love you,”

 

He held his breath in sudden, while slowly a pink tint flushed on his cheeks. So cute, I swear.

 

“Oh! I bet Hae is telling Eunhyukkie how much he loves him~” I heard umma whispered loudly, followed by her giggles that I could hear from the very start of our dinner—well, that doesn’t make me so nervous.

 

I just grinned myself, stealing a glance to Hyukkie, but…

 

Why didn’t he smile?

 

 

I frowned.

 

I heard umma is talking again about something, but I couldn’t catch it properly, what’s on my mind is Hyukkie, and that made me going crazy.

 

I sighed behind my breath, mentally cursed myself.

 

 

 

How useless to be a brilliant person,

 

If I couldn’t get any trust from you, baby.

 

 

--- \\\--

 

 

A cold, night breeze hitting our skin that uncovered, made me shivered.

 

“Aren’t you cold, baby?”

 

Well, we decided to just take a walk at the park near our houses, even it’s almost hitting the midnight hour.

 

“A bit,” he said, gripping the edge of his sweater.

 

I bet that sweater isn’t warm enough to give him any heat.

 

We sat on the bench, the lightest place at the park—even the lights are everywhere—and just doing nothing, not even talking about the last dinner we had with his parents. Just sitting there, only both of us, in silence.

 

I grabbed his cold hand gently.

 

“Something’s bothering you?” I whispered, leaning closer to his ear, breathing a hot breath that could make him shivered.

He bit his lower lip, but look away and shook his head. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, I thought you’re more quiet than usual,”

 

For long 20 seconds, he didn’t say anything before finally sighs. “There’s a dance tournament next Saturday,”

 

I raised my brows.

 

“Yeah, so?”

 

He turned to see my eyes. “Accompany me,”

 

“You’re participating?”

 

He nods.

 

Wow, it will be such a pleasure to accompany my baby.

 

“Of course I wi—“

 

 

“Maybe next Saturday,”

 

 

Oh.

 

“Hae?”

 

“Y-yeah?”

 

“Will you?” He asked again.

 

 

What should I…?

 

“I… I will,”

 

He frowned, but then smiled. “Thank you, Hae,”

 

 

I lowered my head.

 

“B-but…”

 

Hell, I won’t know what will happen if I canceled it.

 

I have to… Tell it now, so that Hyukkie won’t be mad.

 

“But what?” His expression stiffened.

 

He’s staring straight to my eyes, yet what I can only do was avoiding his stare because it’s stabbing me.

 

“I don’t know, if… Baby, I’ll try, okay?” I said carefully.

 

“Do you have any plan?”

 

W-well…

 

“I… Not really, just…”

 

“Then?” now I can see sadness in his eyes—which I quickly turned away, because seeing those stares hurt me.

 

 

I didn’t reply, for I don’t know how long.

 

My mind is blank—I don’t freaking know what to say.

 

 

Hell.

This is making me hate myself, but mad at him with unknown reason.

 

“F-fine,” I heard his stutters, right before he disconnected his hand—again, since yesterday—that currently wrapped by mine. “Just ing go,”

 

I crossed my brows.

 

 

“But I said I’ll tr—“

 

“I know, I’m saying that you should just… Go,”

 

I felt the heaviness inside my chest, the pain of unsatisfied feelings.

 

Before I could reply his words, or even respond to it, he already stood up, back facing me—and I don’t know why, that makes me…

 

 

Angry.

 

 

He might be jealous.

 

But can’t he see himself?

 

 

I stood up. “Yah, Hyukkie…”

 

Calm down.

There’s no need to be—

 

“Did I tell you already? There’s no need to work on it when you won’t ing come,” He hissed.

 

 

“Yah!”

I unconsciously pulled his shoulder—hard—so that he could be facing me, and what I see is… Sadness, fear, anger, everything that I feel it too.

 

Get a grip—

 

 

Can’t.

 

Without I’m knowing, I already forcefully pressing my lips against his, making him gasped, but then I just careless, what’s on my mind is…

 

Anger towards him.

 

 

“Mm-Hae—“

 

Who said I could get over that scene?

 

 

“Hae—“

 

I parted.

 

“Didn’t I tell you to trust me?”

 

Suddenly, he pushed me lightly, just to make us separated fully, with my hands leaving my grip on his arms.

 

 

“You ing did—I’m going back,” He said, panted because of the kiss and turned back, after he wiped something from his eye.

 

Is t-that, tears?

 

 

I felt something stabbed my chest.

 

 

As fast as I could, I grabbed his arm before he could leave.

 

“Do you… Trust me?”

 

He didn’t reply—at least for 2 seconds, before suddenly, he flicked his hand so that my grip would off from him.

 

 

“I’m trying.”

 

 

And then he ran, towards his house.

 

G-gosh.

He mad.

 

But…

I couldn’t help but get angry, too.

 

How could he?

 

I’m trying my best here, yet you just… You just left without even try to understand.

 

How could you, baby?

 

 

”It’s…. Leukemia,”

 

I kicked a random pebbles in anger, sadness, and disappointment.

 

 

 

How could you trust me if you don’t understand?

 

 

 

 

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[a/n]: I'm late, again -_- sorry. really sorry. It's just the final exam is getting really close, and what i have to do is study like there's no end T T

I hope you won't kill me with the angsty chapter, I just have time to update now, but I've wrote this a bit long time ago. so...

 

Please do comment! That would make me really happy~~ ^^

 

And please check my oneshot I've told you before~ Don't worry, it has happy ending ^^ hahahah