I hold my breath.

 

It’s for your own good, Hae baby.

 

It’s for mine too.

 

So…that’s fine.

 

 

“Hae, it’s enough.”I said.

 

 

He raised his brows. “what’s enough?”

 

“I mean…”I looked down, inhaled deeply and stared at his eyes again.

 

 

“I officially free you now, Lee Donghae.”

 

 

He just stared at my eyes, stand still and silence.

 

Why I found pain in his eyes?

 

Why isn’t he happy?

 

Suddenly, library’s door opened. Revealing a figure did I thought is annoyed me so much.

 

Victoria.

 

“omo, Hae oppa?”

 

Hae turned back. “Vic?”

 

Vic. He even shortened her name.

 

 

Hae, our time is not yet finish.

“are you here to fetch him?”she pointed at me. But then Hae just turned to me and staring at my eyes, with those sad expression.

 

Please say yes.

Please say that you still want to be my servant.

Or just say that you want to be with me that I know it’s impossible.

 

But please stay.

 

 

I need you.

 

 

After minutes of staring each other, and Victoria still waiting for us to be done, Hae sighed.

 

And turned.

 

 

 

“I’m not,”

 

 

 

Ah.

Another stab.

 

 

“really? So can you take me to my apartment today, oppa?”she asked pleading to Hae.

 

Please say no and tell me you want to be with me.

Please…

 

 

 

“okay,”

 

 

 

I froze on my feet.

 

And then what I heard is, Victoria’s squeals in happiness, and they both leave me alone.

 

 

I still staring at Hae, but he didn’t turned back.

 

 

I ran in front of the library to saw them leaving.

 

 

They’re getting far.

 

 

 

Hae.

 

 

Why didn’t you look back?

 

 

 

you're leaving.. little by little you're getting farther

you're leaving.. little by little you're becoming smaller

 

you're leaving

 

though i want to see you just a little bit more

though i want to remember you just a little bit more

you keep smudging..

 

i love you

 

i want to yell out and call you, i love you

i can't smile as i let you go, I’m sorry

 

can't you look back

 

because i love you, i can't stay away even a day

you know my heart

please, look back,

 

please

do you know

 

tears are falling, do you know

i'm just standing here, do you know

 

this is what i'm like

 

i love you

i want to yell out and call you, i love you

 

i'm sorry i can't smile as i let you go

can't you look back

 

because i love you, i can't stay away even a day

you know my heart

 

please, look back,

 

please

 

except the pain that's so unbearable

i can't even feel anything

i just long for you to look back

 

i'll wait

 

frozen in this location, i'll wait for you

 

i won't move a step

i'll remember and remember only you
because i love you

 

i won't forget one moment

you know my heart

 

please,

 

look back,

 

 please

 

 

 

at me, again

 

 

                                                          (K. Will – Dropping the Tears)

 

 

 

-----===-----===-----

 

 

DONGHAE POV

 

I turned.

 

My mind is already messed up, and I know I can’t stand it anymore being here. I used to like this place before since it’s the place when Hyukkie and I chat and do many stuffs. This library…

 

Please anyone tell me that Hyukkie still need me.

I’m feeling like being dumped.

 

“Let’s go leave Hyukkie, Hae oppa!”

I heard her said.

 

Victoria…I don’t want to.

 

I don’t want to leave Hyukkie,

 

But…

 

He doesn’t want me here.

 

 

She then keeps dragging me, holding my hands to go away from Hyukkie.

 

I really want to see Hyukkie once again.

I really want to turn once again.

 

But I know I can’t.

 

Because if I did that…

 

I won’t be able to leave him like he wants.

 

I will run to him, hug him, and beg to him please, don’t free me.

 

 

My feet seem so heavy.

 

No, Victoria. Don’t force me to go.

 

Why you keep—…

 

 

 

“Hae, don’t go!”

 

I stunned.

 

 

Am I heard it right?

 

I turned to face Hyukkie, even we’re already outside the library. I don’t care anymore if I won’t be able to go after this.

 

 

And there, I saw him standing, with tears flowing on his cheeks.

 

 

“Don’t go, I need you Hae. Don’t go…”

 

I unconsciously shrugged my hand so it will release itself from Victoria’s grip.

 

“H-Hyukkie?”I asked; try to make sure that I didn’t hear it wrong, while I stepped closer to him. He’s sobbing.

 

“why did you leave me?”he said

 

“I don’t…”I muttered slowly, try to reach his hand. I don’t, Hyukkie.

 

 

Do you know how hard for me to hold my desire to look back?

 

 

He stared at me with his teary eyes that always in my mind since I pick Victoria up day ago.

It’s beautiful, but I hate it.

 

“I’m not serious, H-Hae…I don’t…really mean it when I say.. that,”he said between his sobs. I stepped closer to him and round my hands to his waist, pulled him to a tight hug.

 

“I’m glad you said that…”

 

After I said that, I cupped his face and kiss his cheeks, try to erase all those tears. “Don’t cry, Hyukkie…”

 

I stared deeply at his eyes.

 

 

I think it’s time for me to confess.

 

 

I don’t care of rejection now,

 

 

I just want him to know my feeling since it’s already too much in my heart.

 

 

“Hae,”

 

I blinked but still stared at him lovingly. “yes, Hyukkie?”I whispered. Our lips are really close now, but I have to confess like right now, before maybe I have chance to kiss him.

 

 

“Kiss me…”

 

He whispered and I still can hear his husky voice. His beautiful eyes were half-opened, making a super inviting views on my sight. Those plumps lips were only an inch from mine, waiting to be kissed. He round his hands on my neck and pulled me closer even we already are.

 

I can feel his warm breath and I bet, our lips will touching if I leaned only a millimeter closer.

 

“H-hyukkie—“

 

“Ssshh…”he hushed me and put his thumb on my lips. I kissed it and he smiled, his pink cheeks became red, but still didn’t stop what he’s doing.

 

 

I want to say that I love him before kiss him.

 

 

He already leaned super closer, and when we’re about to kiss, I stopped him.

 

“Hyukk—“

 

“hmmm?”he asked, sounds disturbed. I smiled.

Can I take that as a hope? That Hyukkie loves me and I won’t get any rejection?

 

“I—“

 

Suddenly he put his thumb again on my lips. “let me tell you something first,”

 

I raised my brows. “tell me,”I whispered.

 

He cupped my face with his right hand, while left hand still on my neck.

 

 

 

“I love you, Donghae,“

 

 

 

Then I opened my eyes.

 

 

 

…

 

 

 

There’s no one.

 

 

 

Where’s Hyukkie—

 

 

 

 

Why am I in my room…

 

It’s a dream?

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

Damn it!!!!

 

 

 

I sat up and messed my hair in desperate.

I know my tears almost fell.

 

That dream seems so real.

He said he loves me.

 

Hyukkie.

 

 

Why you made me feel this regret by not turning back to see you one more time and confess to you even I know you will reject me?

I’m suffering right now.

 

Why you must free me?

Why?

I stared at my wall clock and found out that it’s still 10.30PM since I went to bed super early like at 7. I have nothing to do and the more I wake up, the more I want to kill myself since I know.

 

Hyukkie dumped me.

 

Okay he’s not even my boyfriend. But…

 

I love him so much I couldn’t take it.

 

 

It hurts.

 

 

-----===-----===-----

 

HYUKJAE POV

 

“can you take me to my apartment today, oppa?”

I heard she said.

 

Victoria.

 

Hae. Please say no.

 

Please turn back.

 

I need you here.

 

 

My tears almost fell. I really want to shout and yelled or even beg him to not go.

 

But suddenly, he said something.

 

 

“Sorry, I can’t,” I heard Hae muttered and gave her a little smile.

 

Eh?

 

Am I heard it right?

 

Hae turned to me and smile at me.

 

His charming smile ever.

 

 

“I want to stay a bit longer,”he said, still staring at me.

 

 

Victoria pouted, but then murmured an ‘okay’and left us after staring at me.

She’s nice…

 

Hae stepped closer to me. His eyes never leave mine and that makes my heart beating wildly.

 

“Hae?”

“yeah, Hyukkie?”he said slowly, now standing right in front of me and he raised his hand to touch my already blushed cheek.

“v…Victoria—“

“what about her? I don’t want to be a private driver for someone I don’t love at all,”

 

I blinked. His hand caressed my face softly.

 

I felt like flying to cloud nine.

 

“but I…I’ve free you—“

He chuckled. “that’s why…I should thank you for freeing me so I would not…”he leaned super close to me.

 

“Kiss my own master,”

 

I hold my breath. That kissable lips were really close to mine now and it become more and more closer.

When we’re about to kiss, he suddenly stopped his motion.

I stared at him but he just cupped my face and held my left hand, put it on his waist.

 

“I know you love me, Hyukkie…”he whispered really slowly.

 

My heart is beating faster.

 

 

How did he know?

 

He stared at my lips and his bottom lip with hand still on my cheek.

 

 

“what should I do….”He whispered again, now looking to my eyes. “to make you realize..”

 

 

“that I love you—“

 

 

 

 

Phone rang.

 

 

 

It’s sounds like my phone.

 

Uh, who’s calling in such a moment like this?

 

 

I search for it in my pocket but I got nothing. I search along my bed and my hand reach out to the nightstand.

 

 

 

Wait.

 

 

Bed?

 

Nightstand?

 

 

 

…

 

 

I opened my eyes.

 

 

Then I sighed.

 

I should know it’s only a dream.

 

Why it seems so real?

 

 

My phone rang again like crazy. Ugh, who the hell is it actually?

I reach out my hand to the exactly place where I put my phone.

My eyes widened.

 

“Yoboseyo, hyung?”I said after I pick it up. It’s Shindong hyung!

I know I was supposed to be happy since I’ve been missed Shindong hyung so much. But I don’t know why my expression is really blank right now.

Maybe because of that dream.

 

“hey, Hyuk ah. how are you going?” I heard his voice.

“I’m fine…why are you calling at this hour, hyung?”I asked since I remember that I just woke up because of his calls. The call that makes my dream stopped too.

 

“wae? You already asleep?”

I rubbed my eyes. “yeah, of course,

“oh, I didn’t know. Are you sick? I thought you always sleep after 11 PM,”

 

Huh? 11PM? Yeah I usually sleep after that time…but anyway what time is it?

I glance at a clock on my nightstand. BWOH!

 

It’s still 10 PM.

 

Okay I remember. I sleep so early today, I don’t even have my dinner yet. I just don’t have any appetite and what I want to do is only sleep or cry.

 

Yeah, because of Donghae.

 

I can’t get rid of him from my mind.

 

 

“hello?”

I gasped. “y-yeah, hyung. I’m fine,”

“is there anything wrong?”

“um…no,”I muttered. There’s really nothing wrong, even the Donghae part. It’s nothing for me. It’s my own problem.

 

“yah, don’t lie.”

I sighed. “I’m not, hyung.”

 

He then silent for a while, and then I can hear him inhaled deeply. “okay. How’s Fukuura? Fine?”

 

“yeah. it’s a sport festival this week.”I replied. I know my tone is really flat, but I don’t know why either. I’m not even sleepy anymore.

 

“I see. How about…oh, your boyfriend?”

 

My heart skipped a beat. My boyfriend? Donghae?

“you mean Donghae?”

 

“of course him…or you already have a new one?” He asked, his voice seems surprised.

 

“n-no! I mean…we’re fine.”

 

I heard him humming unclearly on the phone. “so that’s it, eh?”

 

“what?”

 

“the thing that makes you like this. Is it about Donghae?”

 

I couldn’t reply him anything since…I don’t want to lie to him but but but…aish, he really is my brother. He really understands me.

 

“so that’s true?”

 

Gosh, what should I say?

 

“mmm…”I just humming nothing since I didn’t know how to respond.

 

I heard him chuckled there. “you know, relationship is not forever happy.” He muttered. “especially the kind of relationship you have there.”

 

“trust me, Hyuk ah. he loves you so much more than you think he is.”

 

 

I hope that’s true…

 

“y-yeah, hyung.”

 

 

“all you need is trust to each other. Okay? I hope your problems with him will settle soon. I’ve to go now, Hyuk ah.”

 

After he said that, he said goodbye to me and hung up the phone.

 

 

I sighed. If my role with Hae—the acting as a couple one—were true, maybe this problem won’t come out. Or maybe it will, but I’m sure we will be able to face it and solve it together,

 

Because we love each other.

 

 

Aish! Why is this kind of thing came to me? Now I’ve free Hae and that means I’m back to being alone again.

 

I hate it.

 

I missed him already.

 

 

Hmm…I lay back down on my bed then staring at the ceiling. I don’t feel sleepy at all. What should I do?

Suddenly my stomach growl.

 

Okay, maybe I should eat, since I haven’t got my dinner.

 

I walked to the kitchen and decided to make instant ramen because I was too lazy to make anything. When I was boiling my water, I heard my phone rang again from my room.

 

Aisshh! Is it Shindong hyung again?

 

 

..or is it Hae?

 

That can’t be.

 

 

But I ran instead to my room and stare at my phone full of hope.

 

I frowned.

 

Kibum?

 

 

 

“yoboseyo,”I answered lazily while walking back to the kitchen, continue what I am doing before.

“Hyuk hyung~” Kibum said. His voice sounds really cheerful. I kind of glad hearing that…since he’s always giving a grumpy expression.

 

“yeah, what happened, Bum ah?”I can’t help asking him.

 

“Um…actually it’s not that important…are you asleep already, hyung?” he asked, still with his cheerful tone.

 

“no, not yet,”I’m getting excited. He rarely call me because of something unimportant…it must be important for him and I’m curious.

 

“okay…I’m not disturb you, right?”

 

I sighed. “yah, just tell me what happened!”I snapped at him, getting impatient because of his lame question. Aish, this kid!

 

 

“okay…” he giggled. “someone confessed to me,”

My eyes widened. Someone confessed to him? gah, he’s so cute like a girl.

 

“chinja? When?”I asked while preparing my ramen that almost done.

 

“actually…today and yesterday,”

 

“BWOH! That person love you that much, huh? Who is it?”

 

“aniii, hyung…it’s different person…”

 

Wow…Kibum is really popular then. While me…. Waiting for the impossible love. Aish! Pathetic.

 

“who is it? Don’t take too long! I’m getting curious here,”I said. Yeah, I wonder who that’ll be? And who is it that makes my dongsaeng even call me at night just to tell thing like this…

 

I started to eat my dinner.

 

“kekeke…sorry hyung. It’s Changmin confessed yesterday. But I said I love someone else…”

 

 

I choked in first gulp. Changmin?? Oh my gosh! As I know, Changmin is really a playboy but nice guy. I don’t know a Kibum can make him like that! He never ask one of his ex to come back. This is rare!!! Kibum is successfully stole his heart.

 

 

“omo! And you refuse him? who confess to you today?”I asked him again while coughing because of choking before.

 

“umm…are you okay hyung? it’s…it’s the reason I refuse Changmin,”

 

 

Wow! I bet he’s—

 

“it’s Siwon,”

 

 

I choked again.

“Hyung…drink first,”

 

YAHHHH! I was right! Oh my…how come??

 

“chinja???”I asked, still didn’t believe what I hear and not paying attention with his words that tell me to drink. I’m really excited.

But Kibum just lower down his voice more.

 

“y-yeah…he didn’t ask me to be his boyfriend but…. He said that he likes me.”

 

“omo!! That’s really good to hear! What did you say?”

 

“i…” I bet his face is damn blushed right now. Kekeke, he’s such a cute guy! “I said I do too,”

 

 

Aww…he’s so lucky, being loved by someone he loves…

 

 

 

After that, we chatted for minutes and finally he hung up. I really envy him after hearing his story. But I’m glad he can be really happy now…since these days he’s really busy and finally his loved one return his feelings.

I just hope Siwon is a good person that can make Kibum happy.

 

After ate my dinner, I stared at the watch. It’s 11PM already but I didn’t feel like sleeping at all. What should I do? I tried to watch TV but nothing interest me.

 

Suddenly I remember about Hae.

 

 

And that dream.

 

! Why should I remember that again? I thought I already forgot about the dream…but the fact is I remember it, even the details.

I can’t sleep more.

 

What to do?

 

Calm yourself, Hyukkie. Maybe walking alone in the park will make you feels better.

 

 

---Park near Hyuk&Hae’s house, almost mid-night

 

I walked towards the park. This estate is not dark at all even it’s almost midnight already. The road has so many lights, so I’m not afraid to walk alone.

 

But then, I caught something in the park.

 

Oh no.

 

Damn it.

 

I shouldn’t have said that.

 

Now it’s coming.

 

 

Should I run?

 

I couldn’t see it clearly, but it’s obvious that someone sitting on the swing and I’m already close to it. Gah!! I should just stay at home. I can’t move.

 

Why the lights at the park are not much as in the road? Damn it!

 

I tried to close my eyes. That figure is motionless. Gosh…please be gone…please please—

 

 

“Hyukkie?”

 

I opened my eyes. No, I’m not dreaming and I’m still here, in the park with super dim lights.

 

But it’s clear now who’s sitting on that swings. Because he’s facing me right now.

 

“Hae?”

 

Pabo Hyukkie. You almost scared by only him?

And what the hell Hae’s doing in the middle of the night alone? I thought he was easily afraid.

 

Hae’s stood up and walking towards me. He looks really handsome by the moonlights and the dim lights of park. I can’t resist.

 

Please tell me this is not a dream.

 

“what are you doing here?”Hae asked slowly and now he’s standing right in front of me.

 

 

“I can’t sleep,”I said, stared down at my shoes. I’m so embarrassed since he looks really handsome right now. It’s not that every day he’s not handsome…just.. I missed him in these casual clothes.

 

He’s wearing a white t-shirt behind his black jacket and pair of jeans.

 

“h-how about you?”I asked him, suddenly remember why he’s here.

 

He sighed and messed his hair. “a little nightmare,”

 

Aww…he’s having a nightmare again?

 

 

 

Wait.

 

 

 

I have one too.

 

 

 

-----===-----===-----

 

DONGHAE POV

 

 

 

I sat on a swing in the park.

 

I need time to calming myself not to think about Hyukkie anymore.

 

 

But I can’t.

Anything related to him, I will surely keep it in my mind.

 

Suddenly I remember.‘

I’ve walked here with Victoria. And she…wait. What did she ask?

 

 

 

*FLASHBACK*

 

 

“Hae oppa, sorry about earlier,” Victoria started a conversation which the topic is, remind me about the guy i left earlier.

 

Hyukkie.

 

Victoria is talking bad about Hyukkie maybe because of his harsh words to me, but I know he was mad since i didn’t contact him at all. But then she knows that I don’t like her doing that, so she apologized.

 

 

She’s actually a good girl.

 

“That’s okay,”I said, just to respond her and show that I’m not mad anymore because of that.

She sat beside me on the bench. “I didn’t know you will got mad if I get mad at Eunhyuk oppa like that,”she muttered.

 

Of course I don’t.

 

He’s the one I love and I was sure nobody likes it if someone talked bad about the person they loved.

 

“I just don’t like it,”I said to her, still in my flat tone. I just don’t know why my tone was so flat like this. It seems like I don’t have any excitement right here, right now.

 

I just want to be with Hyukkie.

 

“mmm,”Victoria hummed, playing with her fingers while looked at it.

“how long have you being his servant?”she asked.

 

Hmph.

I won’t ever forget.

 

It’s 2 months and 3 days and 10 minutes and…14, 15 seconds.

 

But why do you care, Victoria?

 

I just shrugged my shoulder. “don’t know,”I lied. “it’s been months,”

You don’t need to know about us, Victoria. I just need you to leave us alone. I just need Hyukkie.

Even I know I already hurt him and make him disappointed.

 

 

Forgive me, Hyukkie.

 

 

I didn’t really realize what Victoria has said because I was drowned in my thoughts when suddenly Victoria asked me.

“it must be tiring right? Being Eunhyuk oppa’s servant…It must be tired,”

 

I stunned in my place.

 

Tired?

 

If she asked if I was tired being with Hyukkie all the time and fulfill what he wants,

 

Of course I’m not.

 

It’s my daily needs even before I realize my feelings.

 

 

 

But…

 

 

Loving him like this, not be able to hug him everytime I want,

Not be able to kiss his lips as a couple,

Not be able to ignore those formalities

Touch his hair when I feel like I want to

Mad and shows jealousy every time someone get close to him

Staring at his loving eyes and realizing that he only saw me as his servant

 

And not be able to claim him as mine

 

 

I sighed.

 

 

 

 

“Yeah, it’s tiring,”

 

 

 

 

 

Because I want Hyukkie,

 

More than he wants me as a servant.

 

 

I want him more,

I want him more to be my beautiful princess.

 

 

*END OF FLASHBACK*

 

 

I sighed in desperate, remembering yesterday.

It’s not a good day, I know. But at least…

 

I am still Hyukkie’s servant. I’m still attached to him. I know he’s mad at me, but at least…

 

He didn’t dump me yet.

 

 

Damn it.

What’s my fault?

 

Is it about Victoria?

 

I can’t help it!!

 

It’s that person’s fault…

 

I just—

 

Suddenly I heard footsteps.

 

Damn. What time is it? I just remember where I am and I am alone.

 

It’s almost midnight.

 

Alone.

In a darkness of the park.

 

 

WHY DIDN’T I REALIZE IT??

 

I can’t move now.

I can feel those sounds behind me getting closer,

But then it stopped.

 

Gosh…don’t kidnap me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

After minutes of being motionless, I dare myself to look back since if I don’t do that, I swear I won’t going home today and just wait until the sun rise.

 

I hope it’s not something scarrrr—

 

rr—y?

 

 

my eyes widened.

 

Someone’s standing about 5 steps behind me and I can see it clearly, his face.

 

“Hyukkie?”

He then stared at me, after I don’t know why he close his eyes.

 

“Hae?”

 

 

My only person on my mind is now appearing in front of me. Thanks, God.

But hell! Isn’t he feel cold? He only wears a shirt without anything to cover it.

 

I stood up and walk towards him slowly. Gosh, it’s not a dream right?

 

“what are you doing here?”I asked him after I already stood by him.

 

He stared down, and show that really cute expression. “I can’t sleep,”he said. Gosh, he’s really cute. I want to kiss those cheek…

 

“h-how about you?”suddenly he asked before I could respond. Uh oh, what should I say to him? I’ve dreamt about you and woke up realizing I was free from being your servant now and I just really need time to forget you?

 

I sighed, messed my hair. “a little nightmare,”I said, reasoning. It’s true, it’s a nightmare.

Even it’s a good dream, but I think I’m having a nightmare.

 

He then stunned, still staring down at his shoes.

“are you okay now?”he suddenly ask.

 

I nodded. “I’m okay now,”

 

Yeah, I’m more than okay just right after seeing your face, Hyukkie.

 

 

Then, an awkward silence came and covering us. Ugh, I hate being in an awkward silence. So I grabbed his omg—Super cold hand and pulled him to sit on the swing, with me beside him.

 

“let’s just chat,”I said, moving my body a bit so the swing will move a little.

 

He just stare at me and then stare down again.

 

What happened?

 

Is he mad because of last afternoon?

 

But he asked for it.

 

He freed me.

 

Remembering that makes me hurt. And I better not mention it anymore.

 

We’re done now.

 

 

“what happen?”I asked, can’t help it seeing his expression that shows sadness. But he just sighing and stared at my eyes. Only for 3 seconds, and then he broke the eyes contact.

 

“I just…. Wondering,”he muttered really slowly, like still doubting himself of better say it or not.

 

I titled my head in confused. “about what?”

 

“you know…Siwon confessed,”he muttered and my eyes become really big and I felt my heart stopped but he continue his sentence before I could respond.

 

 

 

“to Kibum.”

 

 

I sighed in relieve. Oh, Kibum. Wait. Kibum??

 

So Siwon getting attracted to Kibum now? That’s good then, since I don’t want anyone get close and get attracted to Hyukkie except me.

 

 

And anyway…what’s Hyukkie wondered about?

 

“really?”I asked him. “that’s good to hear. But what about it?”

 

 

He inhaled deeply, and I can see his hands covering his arms. I bet he’s really cold. Should I make him warm?

 

“I wonder how it feels,”

 

 

I blinked, hearing his words.

 

“feel what?”I still didn’t get it.

 

Suddenly, his face become red. Gosh, is he blushing?

 

 

 

“you’re Rox, right…I’m Fox, your friends…um, should be loving each other even they’re in the same gender, right?”he said messily, but I can understand what he’s trying to say.

 

 

Is he talking about being gay?

 

 

“yeah…then?”I asked.

 

He stared at me and I stared back, deeply to his eyes waiting for his answer. “I…I really want to know how it feels if I were Kibum…”he said and looked down again, shyly.

 

 

I blinked.

 

 

He wants to know how it feels to have a lover that is…a guy?

 

 

-----===-----===-----

 

 

HYUKJAE POV

 

Ugh! What did I say? Want to know how it feels if I was Kibum?

 

What are you trying to say, monkey? You make this fishy confused and you can’t even continue your words. Such a pabo.

 

“want to try it? You want to feels it, right?”

 

My heart stopped. What did he said?

 

I stared at him, and I found his smile plastered on his face. Is he serious? Is he gay?

 

Suddenly he stood up, and now standing in front of me while I’m still sitting on the swings. “but actually…”he said, stopping his motion for a moment. “you’re straight, right?”

I couldn’t say a word. Is he asking me because of he just want to show me how it feels but afraid of me being gay or something?

 

“o..of course,”I lied.

 

I’m not hundred percent lying, tough. I only gay for Donghae.

 

He’s not gay, as I expected. I already hear it from him tough from eavesdropping months ago, but…now it seems clearer. He even asked me.

He even asked me…

 

Suddenly, I feel warmth covering my body. I blinked and looked up. Oh gosh.

 

IT’S HAE COVERING MY BODY WITH HIS JACKET.

 

 

God, kill me.

err, not literally.

 

 

Damn! I couldn’t move or even responding to just say thanks since…wait. How did he know I was feeling damn cold I even curse myself from not wearing jacket?

 

Now I just staring at him like an idiot.

Suddenly he squatted down, and grab both of my hands with his super warm hands.

 

I immediately feel super comfortable and loved. Awh...

 

I don’t even ask him to.

 

 

“You’re really cold, why don’t you wear any jacket?” He asked almost whispered, then kissed my hands.

 

He freaking kissed my hands.

 

“Hyukkie...” he called while smiled, eyes never left mine. I still motionless and my eyes never left his either. “Are you feeling warmer now?”

 

Gosh...

 

He’s so caring.

 

 

 

It feels like a dream.

While those dreams seems so real.

 

 

Suddenly Hae chuckled. “sorry, Hyukkie. Can’t help it,” his face shows a slight pink. “I wondered how it feels too,” he said and his lips.

I blushed. He wants to know how it feels to have a boyfriend too?

 

I thought he’s disgusted. But yeah, I didn’t see those things in his eyes.

 

“Hyukkie?”

I blinked, and saw his expression became sad. “why you didn’t react at all?” he asked.

“n-no...” I stuttered. “I just don’t know what to say…

He smiled again.

 

“don’t be like that, Hyukkie…leaving me nervous alone.”He muttered.

 

Oh.

So he’s nervous?

 

I just bit my bottom lip.

 

“You know, what couple like Rox and Fox have do?”he asked whispering, and then stood up to pulled me up.

 

His face became serious.

 

God, he looks so hot with that only shirt and jeans. But…he will be cold.

 

“They do this…”he said, tightened his grip to my hands and kissed it again, now longer and with his eyes closed. Makes me froze in the spot because of the view.

 

He released his grip in his left hand to cup my face while his right hand slowly moving and hold my waist.

 

 

Damn, what makes Donghae like this?

 

“and…”he leaned closer to my face, suddenly kissed my cheek.

 

 

“this….”

 

 

 

My face is so hot right now and I bet it’s already burning red.

 

 

Hae.

 

How dare you.

 

 

 

He then stared at me and caressed my cheek. His stare is…super charming. I couldn’t even breathe seeing it. But like I’ve said, I’m already frozen on my spot.

 

 

“They, too...”Hae continue caressing my cheek and staring at my eyes.

 

 

What is it again, gosh…

 

 

 

“calling each other with words like…”

 

 

He leaned closer to my ear, makes me shivered because I can feel his breath.

 

 

 

I felt he whispering.

 

 

 

 

“Baby….”

 

 

 

 

Baby.

 

 

Baby,…..

 

 

 

I startled, can’t breathe normally. it’s too much but.. of course I like it. I just not ready. Hae’s really…gosh. He really stopped my heartbeat.

And then, he smiled, back staring at me.

 

“Feel it now?”

 

 

I inhaled deeply. Oh, right. He just showed me how it feels.

 

His hands still on the place before—my cheek and my waist. I dare to answer him. “y-yeah,”

 

 

He released both of his hands. And I felt loss and cold, even he already gave his jacket for me to wear. But I feel warmer when he holds me.

 

I need his hands. Or even his embrace.

 

“H-hae,”

 

He raised his brows. “yes, Hyukkie?”

 

 

“can you do it again?”

 

I swear I’m the stupidest monkey on earth.

That question is really embarrassing.

Damn it.

 

Where should I put my face?

 

He didn’t even gay.

 

But then, he chuckled. “You’re cold, right?”he said, then pulling me into him.

My heartbeat seems stopped this instant. He really is hugging me now. It’s true that I’m really cold, but I bet he is too. I just can’t believe he really hug me.

“I hope I can make you feel warmer,”he whispered on my ear.

 

I circled my hands to his neck and he tightened our hug.

He’s really warm.

 

And…It’s the first time we hug each other this romantic.

I feel like I am his lover already.

 

 

Just…unfortunately,

 

I’m not.

 

 

It’s been maybe minutes long of us hugging each other. And none of us say a word.

What’s Hae thinking right now?

 

“Hae,”I whispered slowly.

 

“hmm?”he answered and my back, making me comfortable.

 

“aren’t you feel cold?”I started to talk nonsense. Of course I know he was cold. I should be the one who make him warm. Not him making me warm! Aissh..

 

But he just chuckled. “I’m not, you are,”

 

“yah, lying.”I said, pulling him closer to me.

 

I really really feel like chatting with my own boyfriend. That feels really good and really happy.

 

“mmm…I’m not. You give me warmth,”he murmured on my ear and hugging me tighter. Oh, please! I’m tired with this heartbeat that goes really fast. But it seems like my heart never get used to this.

 

I just hug him tighter, and unconsciously, I

 

Kissed his neck.

 

 

 

Just don’t blame me, I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I can feel he’s little bit shocked because of my sudden kiss.

After I kissed him, I leaned to his ear.

 

 

“then I hope you’ll feel more comfortable and warm now,”

I whispered.

 

 

 

 

 

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[A/N]: EXAM WEEK IS OVER! yay! XD i just hope you like this chap... BUT! DON'T EXPECT MUCH for the next chap okay?

i just want to add a lovey dovey moment.. and.. YAY for SIBUM!! XD 

sorry late update... can't help it, i'm studying really hard for my exam and today is the last day... so i decide to post now~

is this chapter worth the wait? comment please~~ XD