~*~

IS THIS THE END OF THE GENERATION OF SNSD?

1. [+37,739 / -10,384] Wow, SNSD is totally out of control with their personal lives, especially the leader. Partying drunk. Dating different men in a short amount of time. Pregnant at 26. Pregnant outside marriage. And to make it worse, lying and hiding the pregnancy!

"...and for tonight's top entertainment news: SM Entertainment announced a press conference scheduled for tomorrow at 12:00 PM KST, inviting close to 500 members of the Korean press. The subject of the conference invite: The Future of Nation's Group So Nyuh Shi Dae. Dong Junhee reports the full scoop llive from SM Entertainment's headquarters in Apkujeong..."

SM Entertainment slides 50% in the stock market

following Kim Taeyeon's pregnancy scandal

1. [+71,730 / -9,463] SNSD's empire generated $40 million in 2013. Imagine the pain these consecutive scandals is causing the company. Concerts were cancelled, local promoters are suing, eight endorsement deals pulled out from SNSD in the last week, half the fandom shut down their sites and withdrew their membership. The Soshi empire we watched grow is now crumbling down in front of our very eyes. All because the group suddenly became Generation. If only the girls managed their dating lives better, it wouldn't be this ugly.

CULTURAL CRITICS SPEAK UP ABOUT SNSD's SCANDALS

"...SM Entertainment promoted SNSD as perfect goddesses that could do nothing wrong. All the females envied their beauty. All the males wanted to covet their innocence. But once their personal lives were revealed, the fantasy of perfection crumbled. Females realized that the girls were just as vulnerable as them, and the males discovered that other males have already coveted the girls..."

"...SNSD's personal scandals affect all kinds of people in our society. Parents and elders are disheartened to find out that the idols our youth looked up to possibly got pregnant outside of marriage, assaulted their ex-boyfriends, and have collected five or more men at the age of 26. The teenagers are now doubting the celebrities they highly-regarded..."

~*~

I was positive the world was still chaotic outside. I left my tablet while the news was still cooking, churning, painting my life the way the public interpreted it. I heard more buzzing from my phone, more alert from my iPad with more headliners from my news apps, but I ignored the warnings. All I became aware of were the footsteps of my visitor, pacing around my living room.

Kwon Jiyong had been walking back and forth with arms crossed for half an hour now. I watched him wipe his forehead from time to time, breath in and out multiple times, lay his head back while thinking deeply, quietly, scarily. He hasn't spoken a single word since I muttered the word "Yes." I almost thought he probably forgot my existence.

The minutes crept by, and he only wandered and thought to himself. I have memorized the locations of his tattoos in the last half hour I watched him pace around -- from the crown, to the red walking heart, to the words Vita and Dolce, up to the weird 3-character symbols on the back of his right arm. Is that MER, MZR, MZK, MZH, MKR. What is that? Perhaps Latin symbols? Russian letters? I gave up guessing eventually.

"You don't... you don't have to be involved. I'm sorry that this happened," I finally broke the very painful and excruciating silence. Yet he didn't seem to have heard me because he did not acknowledge my words. "I know you have your own life, your career, your group..."

But he continued to walk around the space separating my living room and kitchen. I just sat on the couch, with a pillow on my lap, nervous and frantic about what conversation was following my admittance. This was the last thing I ever planned on. I couldn't believe that just as people feasted on name-dropping possibly all the members of Super Junior as my "baby-daddy," the true father of my child was silently panicking before my eyes. In my house. Very much aware of the truth.

"I'm not forcing this responsibility on you. I c-can do this on my own. My family and I... we can m-manage," I continued to talk.

I couldn't allow the silence to linger for another thirty minutes. He finally stopped walking, but only to face my glass sliding door displaying the sky view of Seoul from the 27th floor. Afternoon Seoul. It was now past 3pm, and my name was still trending #1 worldwide. It probably would continue to do so until I confessed about my pregnancy to the public.

"I respect your life, dreams and future. I was really going to keep this to myself. You have no idea how much I wished it wasn't you this happened to," I said with all ounce of sincerity in me.

I wished more than ever that I had the guts to lie to his face. Why did I have to get caught in my lie? Now that he knew, so would my family, so would my friends, so would the public. God, the public! I thought of the public, and I shuddered once more at just what a scandal of this magnitude could make matters worse! I could already foresee the possible headlines: Nation's idols Big Bang and SNSD disappoint the world with irresponsible ; Big Bang's G-dragon and SNSD's Taeyeon make babies while drunk; Generation leader Taeyeon slept with Big Bang's -snorting leader G-dragon. I feared the possibilities, and I was losing breathe from the overwhelming convolution of thoughts running through my head.

"This is too much for you, I'm sure. I was overwhelmed myself when I found out. But you don't have to do the same things I will," I surprised myself by speaking out more. Yet I was truly out of air. I looked up and watched him catch his forehead again, still facing the cold-hearted city of Seoul.  "I'm giving you an out, Kwon Jiyong. Take it."

I watched him slowly turn around, but only to continue bowing down and facing the floor. In the last 45 minutes, he was muted, and I was the only one who kept on talking. His shoulders were drooping and I literally saw how the weight of South Korea's media and public scrutiny fell on them. I wanted all that weight on my shoulders, not anyone else's. Not my members, not my family, and certainly not G-dragon. I stood up and crossed my arms too, approaching him. I saw from behind him how Seoul looked up to us with cold judgments, and I felt more scared than when I was last week. For some reasons, with G-dragon in the picture, the upcoming public persecution felt harsher.

I took two more steps so that we were just a meter away from each other. I sighed first before saying, "All the things you heard are true. I'll... k-keep her... and leave SNSD. I..."

"H-her?" was the first word to come out of his mouth. He looked up and met my eyes for the first time since he found out.

"I'm... I don't... know yet," I shyly answered, looking away. Did I just see a spark of excitement in his eyes? I refused to even dwell on the thought. "...but I've been dreaming about a b-baby girl. And every time I think about her... it's a h-her... I guess."

He breathed out so loudly that I felt his exhale reach my face. I smelled his sweet breath, then he began to walk back and forth again. He wiped his face with his two palms. His hands met on the top of his lips, staying there and muffling his words, "Oh my God. This... this changes everything..."

"Like I said , it doesn't have to change for you. Take the out I'm giving you."

His back was on me, his one hand on his waist, while the other on his forehead. He was conflicted, and he wasn't exactly hiding it. Then, he turned around. Surprisingly, he chuckled. Again, and again. And again.

"Wh-what's so funny?" I inquired, a little too bluntly. I didn't know why I found offense on him laughing out of the blue like this. "This is funny for you?"

"It's just... strange... how my girlfriend just rejected my proposal... because she didn't want to carry a child yet," he replied, turning around to face me again. Like before, he still didn't immediately meet my eyes.

"...now I find out I'm having a child with another woman. I don't know what the Higher Power's telling me," he continued, a bitter smile painted on his face. He walked past me and I heard him chuckle one more time.

"I'm sorry. I... This... Gosh... this is going to make it worse for the two of you," I muttered, following him. He was now sat on my small couch, elbows on his knees while his crossed palms caught his chin. I sat at the couch just across him, my antique wooden table separating us. "I'm so sorry Mr. Kwon. There's one more reason why you should get out--"

"Do you really see me as the kind of a person who would turn my back on my own daughter?" he asked me point-blank, his hands leaving his chin but remaining crossed and rested on his knees. I felt a slight cheeriness from hearing the word daughter from his mouth.

"We're not sure yet," I corrected him. I didn't like the jittery sensation I felt.

"I dreamt about her too," he said softly, and this created another jittery sensation come through inside me. I even felt my stomach churn with... a tingling feel? Shoot.

"R-really?"

"Only I thought my fiancé -- g-girlfriend -- was the mother. I guess not," he answered a little sadly. In the last half hour alone, he has divulged with me personal information that I felt I had no business knowing. "I'm not taking that out, Miss Kim."

"But you're... G-dragon. You're Big Bang, and YG, and you have a girlfriend. If you were this close to marriage, then your family must like her too. We will just ruin your life. We--"

"I've dreamt of having a child for so many years. As you can see, I was even ready to marry and take that one step. But maybe, He has a better plan for me," he shared with no holds barred. Another personal information. He dreams of a family. He's in a serious relationship. He's a man of faith.

"How old is she?" he asked, and suddenly I was looking at him in an entirely different light.

"Nine weeks."

"What are you going to do, then? So you're leaving SNSD? Does your company already know? From what I heard, it seems you also have a boyfriend. Your parents are pretty upset, too. You must be having a difficult time all along. I'm really sorry."

When he said those last three words, the sensation that had been killing my stomach came back with a vengeance. It churned inside me harder, causing a deep blow of darkness to shoot from my chest down to my stomach. No, it wasn't just darkness. It was also sadness. Tears. When he apologized, when he said that I had been suffering as matter of fact, I just lost it. Since my father has calmed me down, I had stopped getting emotional. But now that Kwon Jiyong, the stranger, was here apologizing to me, I cried again. Why? For what? I didn't know. I didn't know why I have the sudden knack to just cry and break down even from the littlest words or gestures. Is it the pregnancy? Baby girl, are you the one making me cry like this?

When I looked up, I saw G-dragon's confused and fearful face at the sight of the very emotional me. I shook my head, chortled a little, and wiped my face. I said, "Please pardon me. I'm just... a little... emotional l-lately."

"I should be the one apologizing for doing this to you. Stop saying sorry to me," was all he said. . Stop saying sorry too because every sorry from your mouth makes me cry like this. Ugh.

"We did it together. If anyone's at fault, it's us both," I said in between my hiccups. I tried my best to manage the emotions, and I was meditating silently.

"So if anyone has to own up to what happened, it's us both too. Not just you. I can't take that out, and I never will. I'll be damned if I let you do this alone."

Oh God. He's serious about this. Why are you doing this? Suddenly, I was doubting the existence of this person in front of me. Was he really there? Was I really hearing this? I stopped crying for a while, trying to figure out what was transpiring. Was the father of my child really offering to walk me through what was coming? What are you saying G-dragon?

"How can you believe me just like that? We're not even friends. You don't know me at all. How can you just own up to this responsibility? Don't you want a paternity test?" I blurted out consecutively and breathlessly, shocking myself as well. I wiped my face fully and relaxed. I was utterly flabbergasted with how Big Bang's leader was accepting this casually after not talking for about an hour. What ran in that head of his while he made me wait as he walked back and forth?

"Man, you must really think of me as a jerk, huh?" he pointed out, again, chuckling. "Probably arrogant too. And erted, entitled, obnoxious, all-in-one package. Right?"

I realized too, that I let my surprise show too much and I forgot to be sensitive. I gathered myself and answered, "You don't exactly give off a saint vibe."

"Because I'm not a saint. I'm not that heartless handsome and rich entitled jackass you watch in TV or movies either. "

"Sorry, my bad. I meant no offense."

"I think very highly of you," he answered, breaking his crossed hands and lying back on the couch, now casually crossing his legs. "And now you're risking everything for this child. I'm thinking even more highly of you."

I blushed slightly at what he said, so I looked away. My emotions have been successfully gathered now. But just as I thought that I have blushed enough, or became jittery enough, I found out I was very wrong. His last words before he stood up would make my face heat up the most, and my stomach somersault the hardest.

"And like I told you earlier... I've been dreaming about her for the longest time," and after he said that, he stood up to go to my bar. He smelled the wine that was in the whiskey glass. I was shocked at his audacity to actually grab the wine glass and wine bottle, then walk towards the sink to empty all the contents.

Seriously, what are you doing G-dragon? I watched him grab all the sealed wine bottles in my bar cupboard, and put them in a huge bag he also pulled out somewhere from my kitchen.

"I know these cost a fortune. I'll just refill your bar in eight months. But for now, I'm going to have to call a veto on your excessive alcohol consumption."

I felt ashamed when I remembered that he witnessed me finish a half-filled glass of brandy just a few days ago. I was still embarrassed at my own carelessness when he came back to the living room and sat back on the huge couch just adjacent to where I was. Oh no. Don't come any closer now. But he did. He even held my hand just like that, and this caused my jaw to drop shamelessly while watching the tattoos $, <3 and F on his fingers resting on my lap.

When I looked up, he was looking at me so kindly as he muttered, "Like your dad said, we'll figure this out. Hopefully he and your brother let me live."