"Amber!"

    A strong gust of wind that could've easily knocked Amber off her feet blew by and then nothing, but darkness. She was completely engulfed in it and if it weren't for the two arms s tightly around her waist and the weight she felt on her right shoulder, she would've thought that she wasn't on earth anymore. Like she wasn't here anymore, not that it was a bad thing because sometimes, disappearing is the only way to make herself feel better.

    She had always been thankful for the existence of hugs. That particular bodily contact was made so that people had a chance at experiencing what warmth and love felt like without actually having to invest that much time and effort into convincing someone that they were worth something because if that were the case then it wouldn't be called love in the first place. Hugs are the universal go-to thing whenever people feel like absolute crap because they can't exactly make someone kiss them so hard that they forget about the funeral they had to attend in the morning or about the person-- the perfect, perfect person they weren't supposed to get intimate with but did because for once in their goddamn life, something felt like it was bigger than the house they lived in, planet they inhabited and maybe even the universe.

    But lets say they did forget, that they were so engaged in a dangerously heated tongue battle for a period of five to sixty minutes(it really depends on a few factors: time, venue, people) they momentarily let the thought which couldn't stop hogging the one part of their head that controlled their thinking, their speech and their sight have its chance at roaming other regions of their mind, other unwanted and couldn't be bothered regions because it was where they thought it truly belonged. But is it not true that everything happens for a reason? Have they really never thought about why, no matter how hard they tried or how many vodka shots they downed, whatever that they were giving it their all to forget only seemed to go away for short time before coming right back to slap them in the face once again?

    The answer is simple. And everybody who had been through it would be fully aware of it, but not all actions come from just being aware because from awareness, comes denial and denial only ever leads to ignorance. And where does that take people? To the land of broken hearts and what-ifs. They'd live right across the street from Squidward.

    So, maybe there's an actual reason behind that one thought that never could completely disappear. Maybe it's just waiting for the thinker to embrace it because only by embracing it, would they finally get the closure they've been seeking for all this while and once they accept the previously thought to be unacceptable, they would soon understand what it is that they should be doing and then do it. And so, embrace she did.

    Amber embraced herself in the sudden warmth that surrounded her, captured her during this cold moment in her life. She embraced it because she liked hugs, because hugs are like are a snippet or teaser of what true love would be, would feel like. Warm, comforting, overwhelming. So overwhelming that it temporarily took her breath away and made her thoughts invisible, but the point of hugging isn't to help people forget or to make things easier. People hug because it makes them feel better. And like twins, the types of hugs come in pairs.

    There's the overwhelmingly warm hug, then the overwhelmingly awkward hug.

    And as Amber felt the warm body next to her detach itself from her, she knew. She just knew that this hug right here was definitely and undeniably the most amazing, wonderful, spect--

    "Um, hi."

    "Oh. Hello."

    Amber stared at her feet. There were getting fewer and fewer pebbles around for her to kick away. If she could find another one, just one more, she could use it to hack a hole in her head, die and go to heaven right there and then. Then she'd be free of all the thinking she was doing, which had her feeling like a dog with a chain around its neck, getting dragged to wherever its thoughts wanted to go. Yeah, two birds with one stone. Literally with one stone, if she could find one. Doesn't sound all that bad to me.

   She heard a cough from next to her, not the actual throaty cough, but the ones you hear when people find themselves stuck between two rocks and one of them was half- kind of cough and focused even harder on finding that one pebble. Maybe she should just reach into her pocket and phone someone.

    "911, what's your emergency?"

    "Help *gasps* this *gasps* awkwardness *gasps even harder* is suffocating me!"

    "Amber." 

    "Yes!" She jerked her head up at the sound of her name then immediately look back down. "I mean, yes?"

    She still couldn't help but to avoid any sight of Krystal like a plague. She couldn't stand to see her shoulders, her hair, her face, her eyes. Not after what happened. But despite her determination to not look, to never look at Krystal, the weaker yet more daring side of her still managed to hastily and inconspicuously steal a glance at the side of the brunette's cheek but was instantly reminded of just how much she wanted, desired to put the palm of her hand there, feeling the soft, smooth skin against her own that afternoon.

    "I think we should talk," Krystal spoke, interrupting Amber's moment of weakness, "I think we need to talk."

    Amber snapped out of her thoughts of wanting to do something that absolutely cannot be done and quietly agreed. Talking? Okay, me and Krystal are just gonna talk. Nothing else is gonna happen. Just, a talk. Oh my god, will it be 'the talk'? What if it is? What-

    "Is here okay? Or do you wanna go somewhere else?"

    "Nah, here's fine."

    "Okay."

    "Yep."

    Silence.

    More silence.

    One more stolen glance at her chestnut hair, and Amber felt her heartbeat speed up, racing after all the million thoughts that ran through her mind like it was a competition to see which would be the first to get her to do something she'd really regret. She realized the longer she waited, the braver she got at glancing at her model-material junior and the more absurd her thoughts would become. Unfortunately for her, only the sounds of leaves rustling ensued. The younger of the two was either trying to get Amber to break the silence, or let the silence break Amber. Either way, she'd be getting what she came for. 

    Amber let out a shaky breath, but not loud enough to have someone notice her uncontrollable nerves. Oh my God Amber, control yourself. She attempted to look at Krystal again, to see if she was finally going to start talking but only managed to get as far as her calves because damn it, I cannot do this. My hormones absolutely cannot do this.

    She was left with no choice. Either she talks or she jumps into the lake next to them in hopes to cool herself down. Cool herself down from what, well, she'd have one hell of a time explaining to Krystal.

    "So, how'd you find me?" Ah, yes. Let the shy, push-over senior make the first move. Bet you didn't see that one coming did you?

    Amber finally looked up, satisfied with how she dealt with the fidgety situation, but the brunette didn't seemed too shocked at Amber taking the initiative to talk. Even though she was the one who came and bear-hug her. And she was the one who told her that they should, no, that they need to talk. But there she stood like a perfectly carved statue, waiting for Amber to to make the first move like it was her idea for being out here. Typical Krystal Jung ego.

    "Luna told me."

    "Luna?"

    "Yeah, I hope you didn't mind me prying. I just wanted to make sure you were--, I just wanted to to talk."

    "Okay," Amber shifted backward a little, just enough to keep a safe distance between her and Krystal. She was a little annoyed, mad at Krystal for being well, Krystal, but a spark lit up somewhere in her, blinding all negativity that was making their way up to her head when she heard, or she thought she heard something in Krystal's voice. Something, along the lines of concern. And uncertainty. Uncertain concern. And this somehow, managed to please Amber.

    "So, what do you wanna talk about?"

    Amber had to mentally choke herself to hold back the smile that was just dying to get back out there. She had to admit, she liked this. She liked feeling like everything was okay between them, maybe even better minus the awkward as hell atmosphere. Everything was fine. And right. All because she did something that helped break through to the one person everyone thought had solid, cemented walls put up. Whom everyone thought was distant and secretive. Mysterious. Scary. When she felt felt her lips twitch as she thought about the stunt she pulled the other day which led to the uncollected, speechless even, Krystal that stood before her, she quickly gave her thighs a tight pinch.

    Oh yes, whatever that was happening before her, whatever that she had done to get to this, it pleased her. It pleased her more than anything. It was worth seeing Krystal like this.

    Krystal opened to speak, but no words came out. A few short moments had passed before she ultimately decided to close it, taking back whatever she was about to say. Amber didn't want that, she didn't think she could live through not knowing what Krystal had to say. She wanted and was aching to know, to hear what Krystal had in mind because part of her was curious, and part of her simply longed to hear her junior's voice speak to her again. She longed for it like politicians longed for power, soldiers on the field longed for the presence of their family, their loved ones.

    Amber suddenly felt like she was stuck in a world where her body was no longer her own to will around. She felt empty, tired, abandoned. Alone. It was as if she had her soul right out while she stood around because she couldn't do anything and partly because she just didn't want to. It has always been said that demons longed for a living vessel. And here, Amber felt like a living vessel that would willingly let anything take her as their own, as long as they had brown wavy hair, eyes as dark as an abyss, lips as delicate as a flower petal and heart made of ice that waited for someone to introduce warmth to it because life was not life without Krystal, and everything would mean nothing at all if Krystal were to walk out of her life.

    Amber knew she was attached to Krystal, but she had obviously underestimated just how attached she was. A mistake she kept repeating over and over again, not that she minded.

    And because of this deep attachment, Amber found herself talking. She didn't remember what she said, or where she was going with her words because with a hand on her shoulder, Krystal had silenced her. And just like that, words escaped and thoughts escaped her mind. The Krystal-effect had left her mind a blank piece of paper again, waiting for Krystal to fill it up with drawings, with words. Drawings of her long, slim neck, straight nose that was cute as hell, plump lips that couldn't be less tempting and silky, gorgeous hair that thousands of both girls and women would kill for. To fill it up with words of humor, comfort, reassurance. She waited for Krystal to fill her up with happiness, the kind of happiness that only she could give.

    Amber froze, no longer knowing what to say, to do with herself or the hand on her shoulder. It was a little too late when she noticed she had unconsciously let her gaze travel from the ground to the hand and then to the eyes that was placed a dangerously close twenty centimeters away because crap, bad move. 

    Neither of them moved, not even an inch. Their irises a state of complete stillness, perfectly aligned opposite one another's. Amber's previously short, unsteady breaths started to even out, slowing down to a pace. A pace that followed close behind Krystal's, until they slowly united in complete synchronization. Amber wondered whether it was normal to become super aware of everything around her at the moment. She wondered whether she was the only one who noticed that Krystal's chest rose and fell in a rhythm that matched her own(not that she had been staring at her chest, not like that anyway). She wondered, since their breathing were in-sync, then what of their hearts?

    Was Krystal's heart beating in the same way as Amber's?

    People say that when someone meets their soul mate or have gathered as much that they had found their soul mate, instead of sweating a puddle or having their heart leap out of their chest like how most romance comedies portrayed the scenario to be, they'd be calm. Not excited, or thrilled, or nervous. Just calm. Like a wave of peace and serenity had just rushed over to shore and bathed them in it. However, over the decades and centuries, the saying was lost and people began to focus more on the speeding of their adrenaline than the actual serenity that had once played a big part in pinpointing soul mates. Little did they know, the speeding of adrenaline had little to do with their nervousness, or excitement, but it was solely because of the happiness they felt. They were happy for themselves and for their soul mates for finding each other. They were happy, and calm, and so it was believed that the kind of affection shared between soul mates was the only thing in the whole world that had the power to join complete joy and serenity together as one.

    So, is your heart beating faster and slower at the same time too?

    "Don't do it again," Krystal said through gritted teeth, stare unmoving as she broke their moment of silence. Her brows had been lowered, a tinge of strictness and anger had settled themselves on her previously expressionless face. 

    Amber swallowed an invisible lump down . "Do what?"

    The brunette leaned in another five centimeters closer, making Amber's breath hitch. "Never disappear or lie about disappearing ever again. To anyone." If this was Krystal's attempt at intimidating Amber to the core, she'd done it. Then, without waiting for another second to pass, she surprised Amber by closing in another five, dissolving any line drawn by Amber for safety reasons.

    Amber stood her ground as motionless as a statue, fearful to make any movements now that personal space was deemed to be nothing but a laughing matter to the younger of the two because she was more than aware of what Krystal wanted. She saw it on her face during her first and last attempt to tear her gaze away. If she couldn't even blink, what else would she be able to move?

    She steadily watched as Krystal's brows began to relax, a sign now well understood by Amber as a change of expression. A change to what usually was the softer side of Krystal. The side of her that was rarely seen by members of the opposite as they hovered around Amber's Honda City, yelling through the car's window for Krystal's cell number as if the brunette would actually roll down her window and throw the mutts the bone they had been drooling(literally) for. Krystal wasn't stupid, neither did she have low standards. Well, Amber could only assume that she didn't since they hardly talked about boys and during the rare times that they did, it was always to mock their desperate and pathetic attempts to label her as their new conquest.

    Her face was almost back to being expressionless, albeit a little overshadowed by what Amber hoped to be sadness-- desperation, if she were lucky because she wanted her to hurt. She wanted her to realize on her own terms, well, after giving the whole thing a little push(*whispers* the kiss), what she had been doing to Amber. What she had been putting into Amber's head.

    "Don't you dare lie about it to me," she paused, "not to me."

    Amber kept to her own silence, her mind finally reeling towards coherent thoughts. She concluded that she  wanted Krystal to see the result of her entering Amber's life. She wanted Krystal to feel sorry about the result of her disrupting Amber's life. She wanted Krystal to be desperate enough to break that damn dam of hers for Amber so the senior could see what really occupied the insides of the sophomore's mind. She was tired of second-guessing. She was tired of the mind games. She appreciated Key's attempt to help her patch things up with Krystal but this has got to stop.

    If all she ever looked out for the moment she set foot into the school cafeteria was hair the shade of the finest hardwood, so be it. If all her mind ever told her to do was to pin the brunette against the wall of her class every time they stayed back in school for their tutoring lessons, so be it. If all the sleep she ever got was from imagining, fantasizing about the warmth she felt from the body that laid next to her, so warm that it had driven slumber right into her subconscious, so be it.

    If all her hands wanted to do since Krystal pulled away from their tight embrace was to reach back out into the realm of unknown and uncertainty, to get a strong enough grip on the back of the sophomore's neck and to bring her closer--closer than she had ever been before, so be it.

    To hell with the precautions she made herself memorize every morning before school. To hell with all self-restrain she equipped herself with. To hell with society. To hell with her thoughts. To hell with it all. 

     If she spent another second deciding if her next move were the wrong or right one, she might miss the chance of actually making a move. So, screw it. 

    So long, Land of What-Ifs. So long, Squidward, have fun living under the sea with Spongebob and Patrick. I'm sorry I couldn't join the party.

    And there it was, the familiar breaths against her cheeks, the shaky hands upon the bare nape of the person she hoped she wasn't taking advantage of at the moment, the darkness that only seemed to glimmer as she closed her eyes and leaned into her schoolmate, her friend, her crush, a mistake that would haunt her for the rest of her life if she had let this moment between them pass without making a memory of it.

    I'm sorry I couldn't join because I was too busy embracing the lips of an angel. 

A/N: so i wrote a thing. an update thing. it was supposed to be longer but it would've gotten too boring so i moved it to the next update. sorry for the slow progress and the slower updates. to make it up to you, i'll be putting up the next chapter within the week. whoops, i meant month. i joke, i joke but i honestly can't say. i'll make sure to make the next chapter extra-spicy though? is spicy even the right word?? idk. but i hope you guys liked this one. and if it felt weird, blame it on the fact that i'm getting dumber and dumber by the minute because i lost the functional part of me a few months back.

AND BTW I WAS ON TWITTER AND OTHER SOCIAL MEDIAS YESTERDAY AND WOW, WERE THEY FLOODED WITH AMBER-AND-GIRLS NEWS. IT WAS A NICE YET NOT-SO-NICE SURPRISE, IF YA CATCH MY DRIFT. YAY FOR AMBER ON HER SOLO DEBUT THOUGH. IT'S GREAT. SHE'S GREAT. BEST ROLE MODEL OF THE DECADE.

And apparently, it's Chinese New Year tomorrow(or is it today?). so to all my Chinese readers, i hope you all get tons of red packets and gain a fortune this year. so that you have the money to get Amber's album. or you know, to get other important stuff like...toilet paper. or erasers. or Amber's album. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!