What's in a Name?

Lost and Found
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She couldn't sleep. She kept on tossing and turning on her now, very uncomfortable bed. She pulled the blanket up her face but then kicked it to the floor afterwards.

'That blasted Yundol...!' She screeched as she turned to her side again. Ever since the incident, she developed this unimaginable hatred for him. He was an evil man to expose a secret without her consent. She couldn't understand the motives behind his actions. She was a nobody, she wasn't a threat. Yet, everything he did was to torture her very existence.

It was unfair.

'But... how did he even know about me? All the people I met as a trainee already left the company*. And anyway, I've changed so much...' she pondered as she always did, since. All these questions have been keeping her up for days. 

The never ending questions made her head hurt. It didn't help that she hasn't been eating well, either. In fact, she's been missing work for a couple of days already. Hyoyeon together with Sooyoung and Jessica actually went as far as to visit her apartment amidst their busy schedule. Still, she couldn't bring herself to face them just yet.

Those three were just starting out as trainees of SM in 2000, the year she decided to flee the company right before her debut. Although admittedly, they couldn't remember her (old trainees and new trainees weren't clumped together for practice back in the days), she was still distressed that they may start recollecting lost memories about her. She was sure she did quite a stir when she left but then, what was in the past doesn't define her now. What truly scared her was the fact that the forgotten memories would remind her of more painful events in her life and once again, her whole life would be open for scrutiny. The least she wanted in her life was people's pity.

That night, she barely got any time to sleep. With a killer headache, she went to the kitchen and had a glass of water. In the middle of her silence, a knock floated in the air.

'Unnie, I know you're in there.'


BoA got up from her seat and opened the door for the unexpected guest.

'It's been a while.'

BoA withdrew her gaze immediately and bit her lip. She was ashamed of herself for abandoning her job and the girls during a crucial time. It wasn't like her. But being in this situation was foreign and she didn't know how to adapt. That's why she did the worst thing possible -- she fled.

'It's late. You're not supposed to be here wasting time.'

Tiffany adjusted her collar but did not answer right away. She gazed at the older lady in front of her and measured her with her own curious eyes.

BoA couldn't figure out what exactly brought her here especially when she could tell Tiffany doesn't even like her. BoA always felt that there was a barrier between them from their first encounter, yet why? Why of all people, it was her at her doorstep?

It was a chilly night despite the start of summer. Sighing, BoA stepped aside, opening a way for Tiffany to come in. She wouldn't want the young girl to freeze to death so might as well bear with the awkward feeling for a while.

It must've been Tiffany's intention to stay longer from the very beginning because the unexpected guest went in without another word. Again, as if by habit, Tiffany looked around and noted how bare her place was. The small apartment felt so big and strangely depressing. She walked towards the small receiving area and sat down.

'So you live by yourself.'

There was a short pause before BoA replied. 'Not by choice.'

Tiffany shook her head sympathetically knowing what it meant. There was no use hiding it. By now, BoA has probably expected them to look into her past and discover how she lost her whole family in the tragic plane crash. To suddenly disregard it would just increase the distance between them.

'Yes, you lost your whole family at a very young age. Not something you can exactly get over with no matter how much time passes by but--'

BoA looked away. 'I'm not in the best humor to talk about this right now, Tiff.'

'Then when will you ever be ready?' There was a stubborn streak in her voice. Tiffany doesn't have any intention to get intimidated by the older lady's coldness. And she knew she was doing the right thing. She unconsciously made up her mind and would do everything to help BoA get over this.

Tiffany, herself, lost her mom to cancer at a very young age. Of all people, she should know how it feels like losing somebody you love. It's a hard reality to learn to accept but eventually, the wound will heal. It will still hurt but it's not something that will stop the time for anyone. People move on. She moved on. BoA can move on from this, as well.

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