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A/N: Same, play the video first! :3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5rCj4EfBt8

While on the other hand, Hyunseung was having a bad time trying to sleep due to the uncountable flashbacks once he closes his eyes. He was drove home by his mom in the evening. She knew it was better to just let Hyunseung rest.

Hyunseung had never been loved since young, that’s what he thought. His parents never cared about him since he was born, because they were having financial problems and are most of the day out working. And when they are over the financial crisis, Hyunseung thought that was the time he could get some love, but then Hyunseung was told he was going to have a younger sister. When his younger sister was born, his parents only cared for the girl as she was a really lovely and pretty girl. He loves his sister too, but he hates how his parents only care for her and never him.
 
He started being rebellious, going school with piercings all over and coloured hair. After school, he would hang out in the streets with his dancer friends till morning and going school straight after that. The times he went home was to get new sets of clothes and get money from his parents. Geurim always tries ways to talk to her oppa, but he never cares. He would only ruffle her hair and tell her not to worry about him and to live her life to the fullest. He dotes on her, but he hates his parents. He tells himself that he will never deserve to love or be loved, until he met Yongguk.
 
He hated Yongguk at first. The boy is always smiling like everything is good to him. He remembered when he first met Yongguk it was at the school dance audition room. He went to the audition with Minhyuk and Yukwon. Yukwon approached Yongguk and Minhyuk approached Himchan at first. And in a while, all five of us were going to the audition together and walking around the school like long-time friends. But Hyunseung was still a little hostile to Yongguk and Himchan. Yongguk did try ways to make friends with Hyunseung, but he was very cautious of this man. He didn’t like the smiles on his face and how he was so sociable to everyone. Hyunseung always thought Yongguk has a perfect family until Yongguk told him,
 
“My parents died in an accident. I’m an adopted son of the Yong’s family. They dotes me like their own blood son, but it is still very different. I still feel like an outsider when I see the three of them standing together. I don’t have the last name Yong, because I still want to be a Bang.”
 
That was when Hyunseung started letting Yongguk into his life. He became really good friends with Yongguk and Himchan after Yukwon told Hyunseung that he and Minhyuk were together. Hyunseung would always excuse himself when Yukwon and Minhyuk were getting all lovely-dovey. It was not that Hyunseung hated the scene or them being together he just didn’t like to be the third party when the couple is around. He is never loved and he never wants to try loving.
 
Himchan was a really nice person. He has a really gentle character where he makes you feel relaxed when you are near him and never judges no matter how many secrets Hyunseung told him.
 
Yongguk would always consult Hyunseung when he has problems with dance moves. Himchan and Yongguk would always do a rap duet with Hyunseung singing. Hyunseung thought he and Yongguk was much closer compared to Yongguk and Himchan, but he was wrong.
 
The three of them were really good friends. That was before Hyunseung found out that Himchan likes Yongguk. Hyunseung found himself liking Yongguk as well. The man was really charming, he could rap and sing and he could dance. But Hyunseung told himself that he will not love anyone, he will not let love into his heart. Himchan knew that Hyunseung likes Yongguk too, and as the gentle and mature Himchan, he always let them have times alone while he just think that if Yongguk is happy, he is happy. And Hyunseung didn’t like that idea. He would always make ways to stop Himchan from getting away from them, and that’s when Yongguk thought Hyunseung likes Himchan. The atmosphere between the three boys got really awkward as times went by. Hyunseung started hanging out lesser with them and kept meeting up with Zico. Himchan felt that it was partly his fault for making it so obvious that he wanted to grant them happiness. And it was when Himchan told Yongguk that he wanted him and Hyunseung to be together that Yongguk found out it was not Himchan that Hyunseung loved, but him.
 
Yongguk did admit that he did have some feelings for Hyunseung in the beginning of first year, but he found himself loving Himchan more. He loves the gentle and sweet Himchan who is mature enough to let the one he loved be together with his best friend. He knew he shouldn’t do that, but Yongguk couldn’t stop it. He took Hyunseung to the roof one day.
 
“Seung-ah…Do you like me?”
 
Hyunseung was stunned by the sudden question. He laughed awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck. He was shifting from one leg to another in a nervous state and it was all seen in Yongguk’s eyes.
 
“Ha..ha…What nonsense are you talking? I like you as a friend you know…Hah…”
 
“Seung-ah…mianhae…”
 
Hyunseung stopped all his small actions at once, looking into Yongguk’s eyes. He had that small hope in his heart that Yongguk likes him, but he was wrong.
 
I guess its fate. I’m never allowed to be loved. No one loves me, no one will. The most love I could get was from dancing. Dance just tells me how much I should love myself and tells me that love is nothing compared to dance. Hah. I guess I’m just a fool who even wants to try falling in love. It’s the most stupid thing ever.
 
Hyunseung smiled awkwardly as tears start streaming down his face.
 
“I should have known. Himchan is lots better than me right…? Of course, he is so much prettier and so much more mature compared to me…”
 
Yongguk clenched his fist tight as he knew he shouldn’t do that but he had to. He didn’t want to drag things on he wants Hyunseung to move on. Hyunseung ran away from the roof, running all the way to the place where he would never want to call home. He didn’t know why did his legs bring him back, but he was back in his room, back leaning against the bed, crying his lungs out. He heard a knock on his door and held back his sobs for a moment. He couldn’t trust his voice for not giving out on him, so he just came quiet.
 
“Oppa…you want some dinner? Umma made your favourite fried chicken today…”
 
Hyunseung didn’t answer at all and got under his sheets and buried his face into the pillow to muffle his cries. Having the same stubborn genes, Geurim opened the door and came in to check on her oppa. Cursing himself for not locking the room, Hyunseung covered the sheets up to his head. Geurim kneeled on the side of Hyunseung’s bed and tried to pull the sheets away but it was useless.
 
“Oppa…what happened?”
 
“…I’m fine Geurim-ah…Just leave me alone…”
 
“Andwaeyo oppa…I’m your sister, I should be here for you when you need someone…”
 
Hyunseung got irritated by his persistent sister, flared up and vented out on her.
 
“Stop acting like you care already! Just cut the act and get the out!”
 
Hyunseung got out of his bed and shouted at her. Geurim stared at Hyunseung with wide eyes when she heard him scolding her. Their umma came into the room when she heard the loud commotion.
 
“Why are you scolding her?! She was caring for you!”
 
Jang umma held Geurim up and looked at Hyunseung.
 
“Shut the up! You never cared about me, stop acting like you care now. I don’t even know why the did I come back!”
 
Hyunseung got up from his bed, took his bag and ran out of the house.
 
“Hyunseung! Hyunseung, where are you going again!? Seung!”
 
Hyunseung ignored the screams of his mother and went out to who knows where. He crashed into a random club in the town, drinking as much as he could, drowning himself. He was lucky he came out with his home clothes, with his piercings and coloured hair, no one would know he was a high schooler. Suddenly, he felt a tap on his shoulder. Not really wanting to know who is it, Hyunseung shrugged the hand off his shoulder and continued drowning himself with alcohol.
 
“Yah, Jang Hyunseung.”
 
The person spoke into Hyunseung’s ear. Irritated with the disturbance, Hyunseung was about to turn around and punch the guy in the face when he saw it was Zico and Yukwon. He smiled and pulled both of them to join him in drinking. But the two boys pulled him out of the club instead. Hyunseung whined as he couldn’t win both their strength and was forcefully brought out of the club. Once Hyunseung was out of the club, he rushed to the side to vomit out the contents in his stomach. Zico patted his back while Yukwon took out tissues so that Hyunseung could clean himself. After emptying everything in his stomach, Hyunseung leaned on the wall and started laughing.
 
“I’m a joke, am I? Hah…I thought he at least had a little feelings for me…I thought for once I’m loved by someone. But it was just my wishful thinking, uh? Ha…I’m such a loser…”
 
He accidently dropped the bottle of beer in his hands and the loud glass breaking sound rang in their ears. Hyunseung started crying, he buried his face into his arms as he slid down the wall and sat on the ground. Zico bent down and looked at the depressed boy.
 
“Hyung, you can’t go on like this you know? He told you that so you could move on. He didn’t want to waste your time, hyung.”
 
Zico looked at Yukwon, asking him for help to say something to Hyunseung. Yukwon joined Zico and bent down to look at Hyunseung.
 
“Zico is right, hyung. Yongguk is not the only man in this world. There are still lots for you to choose you know. He is just one tree in the whole forest. You are only sixteen hyung, you still have a big future waiting for you.”
 
Hyunseung’s hand accidently brushed the glasses on the floor and he winched in pain. He brought his bleeding hand up to his smile and suddenly started smiling.
 
“This pain feels better than that pain…”
 
Hyunseung took one piece of broken glass on the ground and slashed it across his arm, leaving a big wound on his arm. Zico shouted at him and Yukwon took the piece of glasses away from him. Zico grabbed Hyunseung off the ground and carried him back him. Zico kept all the sharp objects away from Hyunseung in his house and Yukwon kept watch on Hyunseung the whole time. Yukwon didn’t ask Minhyuk to come as he knew Hyunseung wouldn’t be happy to see a couple when he was in this state.
 
---
 
Minhyuk went to talk to Yongguk and Himchan, asking them if they were really in love with each other.
 
“I’m sorry Minhyuk hyung. I really had to break the news to him. I didn’t want him to continue wasting his time on me. Himchan and me are in love with each other,” Yongguk took Himchan’s hands in his, “and I really wish for you to give us your wishes.”
 
Minhyuk sighed, “I understand…I wish the both of you happiness…Please, be happy, for Hyunseung’s sake…”
 
Minhyuk patted on his shoulder before leaving to find Zico. Hyunseung was rejecting food or water or anything. He didn’t consume anything since that day Yongguk told him the news. Zico left him alone in the room as he took a shower and Yukwon went out of the room to take a phone call from Minhyuk. Hyunseung walked to the room to hear what Yukwon was saying when he heard the usually good tempered man shouting on the phone.
 
“WHAT THE ?! AND YOU WISHED THEM HAPPINESS?! UGH, I TOTALLY DON’T AGREE. CHE.”
 
He heard Minhyuk said something and Yukwon calmed down a little.
 
“I know…But…I just can’t stand seeing them all happy being together as a couple and Seung over here, is suffering every day. I just can’t agree to Yongguk and Himchan being a couple.”
 
When Hyunseung heard the last sentence, he stumbled back onto the bed and looked around for something to ease that throbbing pain on his heart. He saw the cup that Zico left on his table. He broke the cup and took the broken piece. Hyunseung slice on the wound that was still fresh from the cut of the broken beer bottle. He sighed into the pain as he felt the pain on his heart ease down. He looked at the crimson liquid flowing down his wrist and he felt his vision get blurry as the blood was draining off his body. Yukwon opened the door and went into the room, he screamed when he saw Hyunseung and his bloody hand, he screamed for Zico and took a towel from the wardrobe and wrapped it around his wrist. Hyunseung smiled as he fainted from the loss of blood. Zico carried him and ran to the hospital.
 
---
 
“I knew you were trying to make him give up…Then why are the both of you here right now if you are trying to let him give up? At least let him have a break before facing the two of you.”
 
Zico met Yongguk up at the garden of the hospital. Yongguk and Himchan came to the hospital once they received the news of Hyunseung committing suicide.
 
“But…I just want to see how he is right now…Just looking at him wake up, is enough…”
 
Himchan said but was stopped once Yongguk told him to give him a moment to speak.
 
“Zico, I know you are angry with us for what happened to Hyunseung. But we really wish that he will get over with it and start afresh.”
 
“Dude, I know, and I really wish so too. But don’t you think that appearing in front of him right now will only make him do what he just did again? And to tell you, he is fine now. He is out of danger already, just weak from the loss of blood and still unconscious.”
 
Just when Yongguk was about to say something again, Zico’s phone rang. Zico saw that the caller was Yukwon, he quickly picked up. Zico’s widen from what he heard on the other side of the line, making the couple nervous from what was happening. Zico ran off as soon as he heard what happened. The couple was dumbfound by what was happening, but they just followed Zico and chased after him.
 
“What the happened?!”
 
Yongguk asked as he was chasing after Zico.
 
“Hyunseung got up and ran out of the room when Yukwon and Minhyuk were talking to the doctor. Yukwon said maybe Hyunseung saw us from his room’s window. A nurse saw him running towards the roof’s stairs. Hyunseung hates heights, if he gets up the roof…I…, HYUNG, WAIT FOR ME, DON’T DO ANYTHING STUPID PLEASE.”
 
The three boys ran as fast as they could up the stairs towards the roof. Zico banged open the door of the roof and saw Yukwon and Minhyuk talking to the boy standing on top of the edge of the roof. Hyunseung was smiling. He was smiling and raising his hands up high like he was on a land of green field enjoying the breeze. He cringed when he saw Yongguk and Himchan.
 
“Why the are they here?”
 
Hyunseung asked and both Yukwon and Minhyuk turned to see the three panting boys. Yukwon ran towards Zico and whispered into his ear.
 
“He kept saying that he was to be free. He said that the only way to be free was to meet God in heaven…”
 
Zico widen his eyes and walked towards Hyunseung.
 
“Yah! God wouldn’t even accept you! You are committing a suicide you ! God only accept angels who do good deeds and die when they did good stuffs!”
 
“You are not even a Christian, what nonsense do you know…”
 
Hyunseung pouted. He turned and looked down the building. He laughed and turned to look at his friends. Suddenly, a loud thunder was heard and the sky started to rain. Hyunseung reached his palms out to let the droplets land on his hands. All the boys started to get drenched, mixing the rain with the tears that were about to drop.
 
“Kwonnie, Hyuk-ah, must be happy all right? Forever love and stay with each other, never break up, araso? I wouldn’t forgive you even if I’m no longer around.”
 
Yukwon was so scared of the scene of Hyunseung jumping down. He was tearing up and slowly walked towards Hyunseung. He reached his hands out and was about to reach Hyunseung when the boy screamed.
 
“Don’t touch me!”
 
“Hyung…don’t do this…please…no…don’t…”
 
Yukwon cried, as Minhyuk pulled him back. He knew that it was not a good time to be provoking Hyunseung any further.
 
“Hyung-ah, you can’t just leave like this…You have to come to our wedding and wish us and be our bridegroom!”
 
Minhyuk tried to talk Hyunseung out of it. But it was useless when the boy was not even listening to him.
 
“It’s okay~ Zico and his future lover will be your bridegrooms. Or maybe…Yongguk and Himchan can be your bridegrooms…right Himchannie?”
 
“Seung-ah…Don’t be silly…please…get down now…”
 
Himchan walked towards Hyunseung slowly. Yongguk was close beside him, afraid that one wrong move he made will make the boy jump off the edge. Hyunseung shook his head as tears started pouring out of his eyes, mixing with the rain.
 
“I can’t Himchan…I can’t…I hate this pain on my heart whenever I think about Yongie…I hate the emptiness I felt when I see couples going around with big smiles on their faces. I can’t stand it when I see my family trying to make it up to me when they are just trying to win me back…I hate it. I had enough, it’s too much…”
 
“SO YOU WANT TO GIVE UP YOUR LIFE BECAUSE YOU CAN’T TAKE THE STRESS?!”
 
Yongguk shouted. Hyunseung smiled again.
 
“Yup. Call me a coward, I admit I am. I chose to run away from all these nonsense I’m facing right now….Yongie, remember to always be happy, neh?”
 
Hyunseung took a step closer to the edge.
 
“NO!”
 
Himchan ran towards Hyunseung and climbed up the edge too. He looked at Hyunseung and tried to catch him, but he accidentally slipped on the cement and end up falling off the edge. Yongguk screamed and held onto his lover, with both of them hanging onto the edge of the curb. Hyunseung held onto both of hands, but the rain was making skins slide. Zico, Yukwon and Minhyuk tried to help, but Yongguk was grabbing onto Himchan so dearly that their weights were too much for the four boys. With the rain getting heavier and making the hanging boys’ clothes heavier, it was near to impossible to continue hanging on. Hyunseung screamed when Himchan’s hand slid off their grips.
 
“HIMCHAN!!!”
 
Yongguk let go of their hands and hugged onto Himchan. He tried to cover Himchan up so that his lover would get less of the impact on the ground. With a loud bang, the four boys were stunned by seeing both of the boys leaving on the ground with blood pooling around them.

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A/N: I will continue the past in the next chp. kekekeke~ this is not cliff hanging right...?

Sorry for the really late update...Some stuffs happened in my family...my relative was diagnosed with cancer...i was crying like a stupid idiot in the stairs out my house with my bestie looking at me and telling me its nt my fault that she has cancer. i know its not my fault, but i just feel so useless for nt being able to know anything. and i don't even ing know anything until she told us she had cancer. But Thank God, really thank you Father, my aunt went through operation today and it seems she is getting better. will be visiting her tomorrow. I really want her to recover fast fast. Although she is hurting a lot from the pain of the operation, i just pray that she will be all right.

And today i got back my results, it was not ideal, but i passed. at least i was promoted to the next level...right? :/ oh well. And junnie's mv today...made me cry. T_T i was waiting for the results of my aunt's operation and i saw his mv, i was crying like a mess, and lucky no one was at home n didnt dare tell anyone i was cryin on twitter. kekeke i felt so dumb. i'm really tat kind who hates crying, but i only admit it to my online friends. oh well. HAHAHA! oh well, i'm going to end this fic before i start school on 30october and i will stop writing fics for a few months. my results really made me wak up, college is not like high school where i can take it slow and slack. :/

Oh yeah, HOW MANY OF YOU CRIED? HONEST! XD