“Can I move yet?”

“No.”

“But my nose is itchy!”

“No, stay put.”

“At least scratch it for me?”

Sigh.

I set aside my sketchpad on the bed and reached a hand over to Kyungsoo, lifting my forefinger and lightly scratching his cute button nose as he scrunched up his face and tried to shift his nose around my finger to have that itchy spot scratched away without messing up his original position, Kyungsoo’s eyes shut closed. I stopped my scratching and Kyungsoo opened his eyes. We stared at each other.

“Better?”

“Yes, thank you.” Kyungsoo said as he smiled cutely at me and I tried to pull every ounce of strength I had to stop myself from pouncing on the smaller male and squish out all the cuteness his petit body had to offer. It should be illegal to be that cute.

It was a sunny day of Sunday when I woke up suddenly wanting to draw a portrait of Kyungsoo. I my side of the bed to face the smaller male that’s still deeply lost in his dreamland as he comfortably buried himself under the quilt. We have been living together for a year now, and I had definitely loved the feeling of closing my eyes on the loving image that is Kyungsoo knowing that I will be able to wake up and see that beautiful face that I loved so much still lost in sleep. I stared at the peaceful man for a moment before gently shaking the tiny body awake. I didn’t… never dared to tickle or wake the other in any way that’s too surprising – unless I want to sport a huge bump in the head then I will, but as of now I want to survive the day without any injuries. I know how Kyungsoo hated being rudely waken up, I had learned my lesson back when I actually pounced on a still sleeping Kyungsoo too excitedly that had me being kicked off the bed and received a few pillows and a lampshade hitting my head. Afraid to have anything hit my face that morning; a gentle wake-up call is in place.

“Soo…” I breathed out close to Kyungsoo’s ear, and the smaller male whimpered in his sleep before scooting closer to me and wrapping his arms around my bare torso – I’ve always slept without a shirt on, no dirty thoughts, please. I fought the urge to cuddle the elder and sleep the rest of the day but the idea of making Kyungsoo a portrait is still strong and I needed to control myself.

“Soo, wake up, baby…” I tried again, kissing Kyungsoo’s forehead when I received another cute whimper from the elder and finally having those closed doe-eyes open and sleepily look at me. Kyungsoo mumbled something incoherent and I found myself trying hard not to end up pinching the elder’s slightly pink cheeks.

I could remember the first time I ever woke up with a sleeping Kyungsoo in my arms. I could still remember how I ended up staring at the other the whole time until he finally woke up and the sun was almost at its peak. I definitely enjoyed the way Kyungsoo’s mouth was slightly parted as he slowly breathed in a gentle pattern, how his cheeks were slightly blushing from reasons I wanted to know too, how Kyungsoo’s hair looked so soft despite it standing in every direction imaginable, and how he would slightly curl up in a ball as he pull out one of his legs from under the covers and wipes at the corner of his mouth for some drool. Kyungsoo looked like a kid when he sleeps, and I swore I could watch him sleep forever. I definitely loved the way Kyungsoo would end up mumbling things as his brain tried to push away webs of sleep still clouding his senses and how he would blankly stare at nothing in particular as he waited for his brain to actually start working. And right now, Kyungsoo was staring blankly at me as he continuously blinked sleepily; mumbling out things I was sure weren’t even human or Korean.

“Are you awake, yet?”

“Hmm…”

I chuckled and sat up, stretching out my body and made a few bones pop. I looked over my shoulder, saw Kyungsoo almost being pulled back by sleep so I opted to gently pull off the covers away from our body and pull Kyungsoo up into a sitting position. Kyungsoo shivered slightly at the lost of warmth – he always slept without pants on because he said it was too hot under the covers – before he let me pull him up, ending up leaning his head on my shoulder as sleep stubbornly clung onto his system.

“Baby, wake up. I’ve got plans for today!” I said excitedly as I wrapped an arm around Kyungsoo and the elder just nuzzled his nose on my neck. I shivered, because it’s still too early for that kind of interaction and I didn’t want any ‘problems’ in the morning.

“Hmmwhatplansmm?” Kyungsoo mumbled out, trying his best not to doze back off.

“I want to draw you today.” And that made Kyungsoo’s eyes pop open and all the sleep left in his system from the night before melted away. He was now fully awake as he jolted in a straight sitting position and looked at me, horrified.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No.”

Kyungsoo shook his head at me and got up from the bed, quickly dashing his way to the bathroom and locking himself in. I would have been worried if it weren’t for the cute blush that crept its way to those chubby cheeks and I just knew I’d be hanging Kyungsoo’s portrait by the end of the day. I hopped off the bed and padded my way to the bathroom door before knocking a few times and heard a cute squeak from the inside.

“Go away!”

“No, not without that drawing.”

“You’re not getting any drawings of me!” Kyungsoo said and a sound of faucets turning and water splashing was heard inside the bathroom and I chuckled.

“You can’t stay there forever, baby.”

“Try me!”

===============

With a defeated sigh, and a slightly cold body I opened the bathroom door and saw a smirking Kai on the other side, holding onto a towel and some of my clothes. I extended a hand but he only shook his head.

“You have to agree for me to draw you first.”

“No.”

“Then you can get the towel...” he said and took a few steps backward. I would have been okay with it if not for the fact that I was buck without any towel or a change of clothes with me when I entered the bathroom in a rush, and I didn’t want to cross the room for the world to see my . I didn’t know what came over that stupid boyfriend of mine to want to draw me. There was definitely nothing about me that’s worth doing a portrait about, so I didn’t understand Kai’s persistence in making me agree. That, plus the mere fact that I would be on Kai’s eyes’ mercy the whole time was enough to make my heart panic.

Not in a million years.

But the cold wind from the bathroom window was enough to make the hairs on my body stand up, and I knew I’d be eating everything I just said to save myself from catching a cold from our very own bathroom. I sighed again and nodded my head, “Fine, just give me the towel, please.” I said and he beamed at me as he jogged up to me and handed the towel. I stuck out my tongue at him before slamming the door on his face. Childish, I know but that’s all the revenge I got up my sleeves right now.

I was glaring at Kai as he continued to sharpen his pencil, completely oblivious to my deadly stares. He even pulled a eating grin when he was done sharpening and looked up at me. “Just sit there on the bed, Soo.” He said and I almost pulled on the pillow neatly fluffed by the idiot sitting across the room, sketchpad on his lap. Almost… because I thought about how often he tried to clean up the bed like this and realized that this was his first time so I swallowed my irritation and slowly sat down the bed.

“Here?”

“Anywhere on the bed.”

“How?”

“Just find a comfortable position.”

A pout was successfully pulled off at that because Kai was seriously being vague about this and I’m slightly losing all my sanity from all the embarrassment. I heaved out an irritated sigh before opting to just stretch out my legs on the bed and lean my back on the bed’s headboard, placing a pillow on my lap just in case I want to throw something at Kai. I threw a lampshade in his direction last time – it was completely his fault, honest – and I felt terrible at the huge lump on his head after. So I made a mental note to throw soft things in his direction in the future – future starts today. “Is this okay?”

“That’s perfect. Now, don’t move.” Kai said and straightened himself up on the chair, flipped his sketchpad open, positioned his hand holding his pencil and started doing his magic.

I didn’t know how long we’ve been staring at each other – more like Kai staring at me and I staring at anywhere else – but it felt like forever and my back had started to hurt. My nose is starting to itch and I could feel a blush coming up from Kai’s intense stare at me. I felt insecure, I felt against his stares. I wasn’t used to being stared at like this for so long. It felt like Kai was scrutinizing every inch of my body and I felt uncomfortable. It made me feel self-conscious of the way I looked because despite how many times Kai had told me I was perfect, I was human. And in my eyes, I’ve got a million flaws compacted in such a small frame.

My eyes were too big for such a small face. I looked like an owl, a person who looked oblivious about everything that’s happening around me. I looked like I was always surprised, clueless. It was weird – my eyes were weird. My lips were a tad more swollen than other people; it looked like a bee had stung it. Sure the shape was almost unique, but they swell more when I cry and when I sleep. And no, it wasn’t pouty, they were huge – why is it that everything in my face is huge? My nose though, I think, is too small to make my face look proportioned. Having huge eyes and huge lips, one would think my nose would be huge too, but no. It stayed small and it just looked off. My skin was a tad too pale, my hair too plain, and my height. I didn’t know why I suddenly stopped growing but I did, and everyone ended up towering over me and I needed to crane my neck to talk to them. No, milk won’t make you taller.

So why did Kai wanted to draw me again? After all the many flaws a petit male could have in such a small frame, Kai still wanted to make a portrait of me. I didn’t get his reason or his motive. But the way Kai would stare at me before continuing his drawing made my heart melt and all the insecurities to disappear. There wasn’t any judgement in his eyes, only love and adoration and I just didn’t understand why those were mirrored in his orbs. I wasn’t as beautiful as he always claimed to be. I was too plain to even have my own portrait.

Kai stopped drawing and stood up, opting to sit in front of me before continuing his intense drawing.

“Can I move yet?”

“No.”

“But my nose is itchy!”

“No, stay put.”

“At least scratch it for me?”

And he did after putting down his sketchpad on the bed. I glanced at his sketchpad right after and my eyes almost bulged out of their sockets. I didn’t know who the person was staring back at me from the white paper, but his slightly huge, intense and soulful eyes were magnificent to look at. They looked too deep it felt like I could lose myself in them. The man’s lips were slightly plump and they looked so soft and breathtaking I fought the urge to reach out my hand and touch them, to see if they were as soft as I thought them to be. His hair was amazing… his entirety was a delight to be looked upon.

Who is that man?

I looked at Kai and he was looking at me with those same eyes full of love that my heart would never fail to melt for. What did I do to deserve such a man?

“Like what you see?”

I couldn’t speak; I could only look back down on the page where the man was drawn. The man stared back at me and I could only gawk at him with awe because he was breathtaking.

“Who is he?” I breathed out, afraid that a slighter louder volume would shatter the magic and the drawing of the spine-tingling man would disappear.

“You.”

===============

I didn’t know when was the last time I enjoyed myself so much as I sketch, but the moment I started to stare at Kyungsoo to think of the perfect way to sketch such a perfect being on a plain white paper, I could feel my very being tingle with joy. I was practically bursting with love for my hyung and I didn’t know I could love the other man more than I already did. But my heart only swelled more with love and adoration at the slight blush Kyungsoo was now sporting as I continued to stare at his entirety, willing myself to capture every single detail of him.

Because there wasn’t any more beautiful in my eyes other than Kyungsoo.

And it was a struggle.

Because though I had captured his eyes’ shape perfectly, I couldn’t for the life of me input the spark of life, love and soul onto my drawing. The eyes that I’ve made are far more lifeless than the pair of eyes staring blankly at the pillow on his lap. I squinted my eyes a bit, willing myself to try harder and create at least something closer to how beautiful Kyungsoo’s eyes were. Kyungsoo’s eyes were big, and they were full of hidden emotions a person can only imagine holding. They were expressive, despite looking so clueless. Those were the windows to his beautiful being, to his very lovable personality that I fell in love with. And I would rather stop drawing forever if I fail to captivate such beauty.

I moved onto his lips, the plump though slightly chapped lips that were soft to the touch. The heart shaped lips that were now full of smiles and happiness that had always took my breath away. The way they’re almost looking pink, the way they swell whenever their owner would shed a tear or drift off to sleep. Those were the lips I worked hard to place a real smile on, because for a very long time, those beautiful lips only sported a heartbreaking frown. It made my heart jump in happiness now that I know that those lips I love so much are smiling and it made it more special knowing I was one of the reasons why they would arc up beautifully.

The paper’s pale color couldn’t compare to how angelic Kyungsoo’s skin looked. No paint would be enough to capture his glow like the way the sun would surround his frame. The way his skin would light up was so out of this world I couldn’t decide whether I should paint his skin or leave the paper’s color compensate on it. Afraid to ruin the now almost looking Kyungsoo, I decided to leave the paper’s color do its wonders. I sketched his hair.

As I prepared to put in final details on my work, Kyungsoo’s nose had started to itch and seeing how he was almost on the verge of moving and scratching it himself, I moved closer and scratched it for him. The close proximity only made my heart skip a beat at how lacking my portrait had looked compared to the real Kyungsoo. I couldn’t capture his eyes’ spark, or his lips’ plumpness, or his skins’ glow. Kyungsoo was more breathtaking in person than any portrait or photograph of him taken.

What did I do to deserve such a man?

I noticed Kyungsoo staring up at my drawing, his eyes bulging and mouth slightly agape. His cheeks were slightly pink and I could only smile.

“Like what you see?”

“Who is he?”

I smiled at him lovingly.

“You.” And that made him look at me. His eyes were confused, looking for answers, doubting.

He doubted himself.

I reached my hand out to him and pulled him close.

“You’re that beautiful Kyungsoo, I’m sorry my drawing couldn’t give justice to that.”

“The man you drew is too breathtaking, Kai. That can’t be me.”

I frowned. Of course it’s him. Who else was I staring at for the past three hours?

“That’s you-“

“No.”

And I could only smile at the look in his eyes. They were horrified, scared. He refused to accept what he was seeing on the white paper of my sketchpad. How can I be able to stop from loving this man more?

“That’s you Kyungsoo, that’s as close as to how I always see you.”

He looked down and I frowned. I lifted his head up by his chin, making him look at me.

“You’re this beautiful Kyungsoo… I know my drawing’s not enough to prove your beauty, but I tried my best to draw you as close as to how I see you,” I said and he was about to say something – probably to go against me – and I silenced him with a kiss on the lips.

“I love how your eyes are now full of life – I’ve seen how lifeless they’ve been for too long, it’s a joy to see them spark. I love how your lips turn into heart shaped ones when you smile and laugh, they’ve been locked up behind frowns for too long, I’ve worked hard on those smiles of yours, you should smile more – you’re most beautiful when you do so. I love how your skin glows, almost like an angel under the sun; you never fail to take my breath away. You’re breathtaking Soo, I hope you see that.” I said as I stare straight at his eyes, not a hint of doubt in my voice. I wanted to let him know that. I wanted him to appreciate himself more.

He was beautiful.

A tear escaped from his eyes and I panicked inside as I wiped it away immediately.

“I’m so-“

“Thank you.” Kyungsoo said and he smiled, tears continued to run down his cheeks.

“For what?” I asked and Kyungsoo only shook his head and hugged me tight. He buried his face on my chest, hiccupping, voice hitched.

“Just… thank you.” And I hugged him back.

Kyungsoo was special… a treasure in my life.

And I’ll forever question what I did good to deserve someone like him to grace my life.

And if Kyungsoo ever start to doubt himself again, or the way I address him to be breathtakingly beautiful, I’ll just pull him to our living room and point to his portrait neatly framed and placed in the middle of our coffee table.

The drawing’s too pretty to be hidden inside our room were Kyungsoo’s exact words.

===============

4-17-14

A/N: Beta'd by camilasuzuki~