“What’s with the bodyguard, Jiyong?” 

Youngbae finally asked Jiyong as they sat across each other in the café of their university. Jiyong headed to the university after checking out the house he was busily working on these past few days. Dara didn’t even know he’ll be attending school today. And as soon as Youngbae saw him, he didn’t hesitate inviting the latter for a coffee. Jiyong looked up; his brow twitched a bit from the hard tone on his friend’s voice. They haven’t talked or seen each other for a while and the first thing his friend asked him was about his wife’s bodyguard and apparently, Youngbae seemed against it. 

“Well, I’m fine. Thanks for asking.” Jiyong mockingly said. Youngbae was a bit taken aback before a smirk curved on his lips.

“So, wanna tell me what’s this all about?” Youngbae probed. Jiyong stared at his friend for a while. He felt a wrenching feeling inside upon seeing the longing in his friend’s eyes. Youngbae still loved his wife. How could they love the same woman? And how could Youngbae make him feel like all these things that he was doing to his wife wasn’t the right thing… just like the way his older brother made him feel… just like the way Dara made him feel whenever he looked at her. 

“I just had to keep her safe.” Jiyong mumbled; his gaze slowly fell. 

“From what, Jiyong?” 

Jiyong looked up again to his friend, stared at Youngbae sharply. 

“You were not the one who had to sit there in the hospital, watching her sleep; figuring out how that happened, how could I let that happen? I am her husband. I am supposed to keep her safe but in the end, I had to be the last man to know that something bad happened to her.” Had to watch his brother on her side and had to hear his brother tell his wife that he’ll take care of her. 

Youngbae stared at him for a while before he let out a sigh.

“I understand you Jiyong. But is it really necessary for her every move to be watched? It’s kinda ridiculous having her bodyguard even inside the classroom or listening whenever she talks to someone. Do you have to know everything she do or say as well?” 

“I am her husband and I have the right to do that.” He said with clenched jaw. 

“Then why don’t you just ask her?” Youngbae asked. His brows furrowed in frustration. Why was Jiyong acting like this? He thought. Upon asking that, Jiyong was put to a stop as pain shot through him and suddenly it felt hard to breathe. 

“Because I know she won’t tell me everything.” She mumbled as he looked away. Youngbae almost didn’t hear what he said but when he did, it only added to his confusion. 

“What’s happening, Jiyong?” Youngbae said in a firm tone. 

There was a long silence before Jiyong leaned back on his seat and sighed. He wouldn’t look at his friend when he spoke. 

“Yunho’s back.” Jiyong mumbled again and Youngbae felt the tension in his friend’s voice. 

Youngbae knew about the ordeal Jiyong had gone through after his brother left. He was close with the two brothers; knew how much Jiyong looked up to Yunho; watched how Jiyong broke after Yunho left him all the responsibilities that he should have shouldered. And there had been rumors… about why Yunho left and one of those was because he didn’t want to be married to the one of the daughters of the Parks… to Dara. 

Youngbae couldn’t say anything; didn’t know what to say. Jiyong started to hate his brother after the latter left and Youngbae couldn’t imagine how Jiyong took it now that Yunho was back. But what did it have to do with Dara? Youngbae wondered. 

“Have you met with him?” Youngbae hesitated to ask more. 

“My parents thought everything will be back to how it was before once they let us meet. They thought a simple get-together will heal everything. They wanted to give him back everything that he left behind before. But that’s not how it is supposed to be. I’ve worked hard to meet everyone’s expectations. I’ve sacrificed a lot of things just to fit my spot in this family. I never left; I lived the life that they wanted me to live. And when I’ve found my sanctuary in this life that they pushed upon me, he came back and now wanting to take it away from me.” 

Youngbae stayed silent, now worriedly looked at his friend as Jiyong slowly poured out the pain inside him. 

“And Dara….” Jiyong mumbled before letting out a long breath. He placed his hands on the table and clasped it together. He gazed down on his hands; his brows bunched up together. Just the thought of her brings so much pain inside him, forcefully replacing all the bliss and love for her. 

“You know, I can and will give up everything just to be with her but right now I can’t. I can’t be free from all of this, because I need the power to be worthy of her. Because giving up everything right now means giving up on the fight for her. I just can’t… I don’t want to lose her.” Jiyong paused as he inhaled deeply, controlling his emotions.

“I’ve hurt her. Remembering the things I’ve done to her made me want to hang myself. And I will probably need to spend an eternity just to make up from all the pain I’ve brought her. But still, does that make me not to deserve to be with her? Because she… she is the only one that keep me sane. She made this wrecked life of mine too beautiful that it feels like a dream. She sees the best in me apart from the worst that I had shown her and I don’t know what life it’ll be for me if she gives up on me, if suddenly she wakes up and realize that I am just another monster in her nightmare.” 

Youngbae’s jaw clenched. He didn’t know why he still sat there and listened to the man of Dara’s heart pouring every love he had for Dara. Youngbae knew very well how it felt like. Knew every pain he endured and knew how the wound ate him whole when he, himself gave up on his fight for Dara’s love. But it was him and not Jiyong. Youngbae knew he was not the one Dara loved and that made giving up a little easier though the pain was still unbearable. Jiyong… he was the one who owned Dara’s heart and Youngbae couldn’t help but feel a little angry at how Jiyong was acting right now. 

“Yunho… he… he loves her.” Jiyong stuttered. Youngbae felt the insecurity in Jiyong. He knew his friend well to know how he felt every time they talk. The surprise was swallowed by Youngbae’s anger and disbelief. 

“And you know what, we talked. He told me he wanted her; that she’s supposed to be his in the first place.” Jiyong said with a bitter laugh but Youngbae could see tears forming on the rim of his friend’s eyes. 

“I love her.” Jiyong mumbled; his voice shook as he said each word.

Youngbae looked away, brushing away the pain he could feel inside him from hearing these things from the man that Dara loved. He leaned back on his seat and sighed, trying to compose himself. After a while, he leaned closer to Jiyong couldn’t believe for putting himself through this. 

“And she loves you back. You know that, right?” Jiyong better know it or else he’ll beat the hell out of him and make him feel every pain that he endured just to let go of his dream of being with Dara. 

Jiyong gulped down the painful lump on his throat and finally looked up to his friend. He didn’t reply. He just simply stared.

“I don’t know the reason for all of this. So your older brother loves her. But she loves you. Can’t you see Jiyong? You don’t have anything to worry.” Youngbae controlled himself from bursting out; even controlling his tone but made sure he was getting through his friends fogged mind. Jiyong blinked, finally he heard someone else aside from himself telling him that he had nothing to worry about but still… it wasn’t enough. 

“He looked at her as if she was his life. What if… what if Dara suddenly realize that I am a mistake. This marriage was forced upon her. I couldn’t help but feel that she was also forced to love me. I’m just… I am not worthy of her… what if she finally sees that? I couldn’t live with the thought.” A tear finally escaped one of his eyes which he immediately wiped off. 

Youngbae shook his head. 

“The marriage was forced, everyone knew that. You have been unworthy of her since the first day of your marriage. I’ve loved your wife even before you met her and you don’t know how much I’ve loathed you for putting her through all those pain. It was my dream to spend the rest of my life with her but you took it away. And I don’t know how, from all the pain she received from you could still make her love you. Do you think someone who has experienced nothing but pain could still love the man who brought it? But still, she did.” Youngbae couldn’t help but feel a little bitter from the words escaping his lips. He brushed away the feeling with a forced laugh.

“For some twisted way, she still did. And I had to endure every single day of looking at her with you in her eyes, watching her smile with just the mention of your name. And even though I have poured out all of my feelings for her, it was still not enough and couldn’t be compared as to how much she loves you. And here I thought she was the crazy one for loving you, yet you proved me wrong. How dare you question her love, Jiyong?” 

Jiyong suddenly felt weak. His lips parted but no words came out from him. He couldn’t figure out what he was feeling inside but it was making him dizzy. Youngbae’s last words felt like a slap on his face. After a while, he raised his hand and brushed his fingers through his hair. He finally let out a smile as he closed his eyes. 

“Now I feel like I’ve been a complete moron.” 

Youngbae smiled at that before he spoke.

“You have her heart, Jiyong. What else does she need to give you just to keep you from worrying?” 

Jiyong bit his inner cheeks as he opened his eyes and shook his head. The heaviness that he had been enduring these past days had finally been lessened. 

“Thanks.” He mumbled. Youngbae just stared at him, gaze was piercing. 

“You just had to hear it from me, didn’t you?” Youngbae asked, glaring at him. Jiyong smiled at his friend. 

“Brings back old feelings?” He teased. 

“I still haven’t gotten over it, you know. Thanks for your insensitivity.” Youngbae said as he rolled his eyes. Jiyong chuckled a bit before he let out a long sigh.

“But really