After almost 3 months, here's the update. I sincerely apologize for the long update, it's really taking CENTURIES. Albeit My deepest thank you for the patience. >__<   ===---===---===---===---===---===---===---===---===---===---===---===   His pupils dilated… gaze stayed fixed on the woman before him… too stunned to even blink his eyes…his brows slowly connected as confusion gradually filled his mind… couldn’t find the right words to say for how could he respond to a statement that he never expected her to say… 

Taeyeon clearly saw the surprise expression on his face… saw the confusion that soon joined it… 

She lost herself… wasn’t expecting herself to do something irrational yet her anger got to her head even before she could think of something else to say… she just hated that pity look on his face as he stared at her a while ago… it just reminded her of how hell her life was… how she lived under fear and how she had always ran away… that she had thought that meeting him would end her misery yet just like everyone else that she thought would put a stop to it… he was there… about to abandon her again… 

With that, her gaze faltered… slowly set it away from him… her brows slowly curled and forehead creased as she again, put up another act that she was sure he won’t be able to ignore…

“You have always protected me… even to the point of marrying that woman just so I won’t be hurt… you endured a lot for me… what more do they want from us…?”

Jiyong was immediately baffled by what he had heard… about to tell her that it was not what she was thinking, only for her to beat him to it…

“I love you… and even if it will cost me to wait for you forever… I will oppa… just please, don’t give up so easily…”

A muffled gasp escaped from him… heart was torn apart from what he heard from her… how can she manage to say that where in fact it was clear that she was hurting…? And how selfish he was for keeping her all this time despite the great odds of hurting her in the end…? She had done nothing but to be always there for him… yet all he could give her was nothing but pain and empty promises… 

His jaw clenched… hands curled into fist on the table as he locked his gaze to her… 

He was a selfish man… blamed everyone for what his life had gone to… and until now, he was still selfish… as if pushing away the only woman who gave him strength before… was it just because he had finally found his real love…? That having Dara will be the only thing that mattered to him now..? No… for he knew to himself that caging Taeyeon would be much more selfishness… setting her free from all the pain he had caused her would look selfish in her eyes, let it be then… if it’ll be the only way that she will find her true happiness…

He gulped down the forming lump in his throat... determination was written all over his face and upon seeing it, Taeyeon couldn’t help but to feel a flash of defeat starting to cut right through her… 

“You’ve already been hurt too much because of my selfishness… I should’ve let you go back then when things were starting to get bad... but I was scared… too coward to face my responsibilities alone… I used you as an excuse to hate the obligations that was given to me… used you as the reason to put blame on others and to hurt the people who had done nothing but to understand me…” 

His last words came out like a stifled whisper as he remembered everything he had done to Dara… and it was enough for him to flinch a bit as if his heart was being stabbed again by millions of needles… his hatred towards himself was starting to fill him again… how could he do those things to her…? Fed his mind with nothing but lies… created a false reason to put all the blame to her… too frail to confess to himself his incompetency… that he was all along just like his brother… too irresponsible of accepting everything that life had given him… seeking for an easy way to get to what he wanted… always thinking of what he wants… 

Taeyeon kept her gaze locked with his, wearing an unreadable expression on her face as she continuously kept her silence…

Jiyong slowly reached for her hands… she didn’t protest… allowed his hands to envelope hers and held it tight… 

Tears welled up in his eyes as he looked at her… he knew she won’t accept it easily… knew how much she was in pain right now… and he hated himself more for being the one inflicting it to her again… yet he knew it was the only way to set her free… 

“I’m sorry Taeyeon-ah… but I can’t lock you from the life you truly deserve… I’m sorry for being so selfish all this time… I loved you… it was all true…you’re the first woman who had introduced me that foreign feeling… please don’t doubt the years we’ve been together…”

He tightened his hold on her hands as he let out a deep sigh… 

“But I am not the man who could give you the happiness and freedom that you deserve…”

Jiyong said with a faint smile on his lips… eyes full of affection as he looked at Taeyeon whose expression slowly gave out something differently from the blankness a while ago…

For upon hearing those words from him… something had suddenly pricked her insides… the walls she had created in herself shook a bit that her eyes automatically blinked the tears away that almost filled it…

“You are so carefree… you love life better than I do… you have dreams you need to fulfill for yourself and I won’t be the person who will be the reason for you not to accomplish them… that every time I look into your eyes I would always feel a great guilt... for all along I’m only giving you false hope… I can’t be the destruction of your happiness Taeyeon-ah…” 

Silence consumed them right after his last word… as if the busy café suddenly became isolated for her… she was looking at him yet it was again emptiness that sheathed her expression… until after a while, her gaze faltered… she woke up from her trance as something cold touched her cheek only to realize a drop of her tears managed to escape her eye and stained her beautiful face… 

How could this man break her defense with just those words…? All because of one woman, there she was… being told to what on what she needed in her miserable life… freedom…? Happiness…? The world was a cage itself… how can such things exist…? And how can a person like him, say those things as if he knew the meaning of it, if all his life he felt nothing but suffocation… and now being locked up once again with that woman she had learned to loathe… she doubted he would deny it was love… 

Love… Taeyeon could only scoff by the mention of it… the idea of it was just too good to be true… and she could be the last person who would be of need of it… hated such illusion for she knew, she would gain nothing from it… 

She hated herself for being frail before him… knew by then that an argument with him would be futile for the look in his eyes had said it all… she was nothing but just another speck on this earth… just like what others see in her as they look at her… 

Hatred and bitterness filled her cold heart once again that she had missed the concern written all over his face… the hope in his eyes that she would hopefully be happy now that she’s free from him… for all she could think was the side of being abandoned again… 

A light chuckle escaped from her as she lowered her gaze towards their joined hands; immediately, disgust had stirred her insides… and Jiyong could only look at her in wonder…

How could he not do that, if her own parents abandoned her to the devil who knew nothing but to torment her life…? Of course… just like everyone else… he just used her… and now that he found someone new… he would just throw her away like a stinky, rotten trash… and she’ll be back to the hell she had loathed, because it was the only home she knew she had… 

She curled her hands to fist before pulling it away from his hold… she kept her head down as one of her hands reached for her face to wipe off her tears… awful… she felt awful towards herself for showing him a vulnerable side of her… it was more awful than feeling his lips against her skin… for she knows, looking like that in front of him would make him pity her more… 

Jiyong kept his silence as he waited for her to regain herself… he was worried about her… wanted to comfort her but he doesn’t even know how to start… doesn’t even have the right to… how could he even do that if he was the one that caused her to be on that state? He could only hope that someone, much better than him could heal the pain he caused her… give her everything that she deserved… make her forget every bitterness that he inflicted in her…

After a while, Taeyeon set her hands down on her lap as she slowly gazed up to face him again… 

Cold, hard expression met his gaze… a different Taeyeon had immerged in front of him that he could only stare in awe…

“Do you love her Jiyong…?”

It came out as bland as her cold expression… almost made him choke from such intimidating atmosphere that surrounded her… yet he managed to stay at ease… gaze softened by the thought of Dara, that he even completely forget the woman before him…

“I love her…”

Sounded as deep as where it came from… his heart pounded mercilessly after uttering the words with Dara’s face floating inside his mind… 

Taeyeon’s lips twitched before a slight smirk of disgust formed on it… she would surely enjoy seeing his face in great agony once the love he truly believed would be futile against the unfairly judgment of reality… for she couldn’t be humiliated just like that… he could not just throw her away as if he has nothing to do with her… she could not just always accept defeat like a pathetic loser she was all her life… 

“She’s lucky to have you oppa…”

She whispered… Jiyong was immediately startled by her response, a bit bothered by the stillness of her expression only to brush the thought away as her hand topped his and gave it a squeeze… he could only look at her in wonder again… watched as an empty smile curved on her lips before she stood up from her seat… 

The next thing he knew, he was seating alone in the middle of a busy café… his eyes fixed towards the entrance of the café where Taeyeon had gone off… 

Something inside him was a bit bothered… probably because he knew she was hurting inside… he could only bow his head in shame… kept telling himself it was all for the better yet can’t help but to hate himself for doing it to the woman he loved before… 


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She looked at her friend with a faint of sadness in her eyes… she