I saw Taeyeon shifted her gaze towards me… and I quickly felt the tremors running down my spine as I saw the disgusted look on her face… I bit my lower lip and tried to look away as guilt slowly swallowed me…

How could such little selfishness bring me more pain in the end…?

And even though I don’t feel any regrets… still that guilt is slowly killing me…

Fantasies that are meant to just stay inside my mind…

His eyes… especially his love that will never be directed to me…

Am I not really worthy enough to at least feel a tinge of happiness…?

Maybe I really am not…

If it would mean having an unrequited feeling towards the man who already belongs to someone… I should have expected every consequences of this painful love… if only I could tell this shameless heart to stop from its foolishness, I had done it ages ago… but I can’t… too mute to even spoke to myself… too deaf to hear what reality has continuously been shouting me yet to only hear my heart’s rejoicing beats whenever he’s there… too blind to see others, too blind to see the pain I’ve inflicted to others for my eyes are only cast to see only him…

Up until now… I’m still frail… feeble to stand on my own… back then he was my pain, a torture that slowly kills me… but now, he became the strength that I need… his warmth that would quickly cure the coldness inside my being…and forever be a desire that I will never have…

“Taeyeon-ah… what are you doing here…?”

I heard Jiyong spoke… for a second I thought he wasn’t there… and thank God he was for I think would be suffocated from this guilt her gaze has been telling me to feel…

My gaze landed to Jiyong… I watched him as he slowly walked towards his lover… oh God…how much I just wanted to close my eyes for I think I know what will happen next… seeing him hold her… seeing him to just have his eyes on her… completely breaks my heart… but before I could even give myself a credit to do it… I saw him stood between Taeyeon and me…a fair distance between me and him… and between him and his lover…

He looked over his shoulder, enough for our eyes to meet for a while… enough for me to know that ‘he’s really there’…


‘What are you doing Jiyong…?’


“Why…? Can’t I visit my boyfriend now…?”

I gasped as I heard her sharp voice… as if rubbing salt on my already wounded heart…making me realize that it really is such a pity, for up until inside this mansion… I still don’t have a tinge of right to own a piece of him…

“Taeyo-..”

“Why…? Is it because you already have a wife, that I can’t visit you anymore…?”

I saw Jiyong’s fist formed into a fist… is he mad…?

“Stop it…” I heard Jiyong say… his voice was cold…and it scares me to hear that tone again but I can’t help but to just stand there… stiff on my spot watching and listening to them.

“Why Jiyong…? Am I not allowed in here anymore…?! Huh…?!”

“I said stop it…!”

I almost jumped when I heard him shout… no… this shouldn’t be happening… I never asked for any of this to happen… I only asked for a little happiness… I never wanted to ruin someone else’s relationship… and now I can’t help but to blame myself…I know I’m getting in between them…

I saw the surprise in Taeyeon’s face… and it pricked my insides when I see the tears that escaped her eyes… it brings back the memories of the day I almost break in front of everyone… being in the lowest point in front of ‘him’… I know how painful it is… but why am I only thinking of this right now… it’s all too late to even care about how she feels…

She then turned to me while all I could do is to just stand there, having my breath still caught up in my throat… I saw the tears that continuously streamed down her cheeks… what have I done…?

“Are you happy now..?”

--

Tayeon’s voice was shaking… she turned to Jiyong as she wiped off her tears, throwing him a glare before she stormed out of the mansion…

The two stood there for a while… both stiffened on their spot after what happened… Jiyong was surprised as to how he had reacted… never did he raise his voice to Taeyeon before…and now he wanted to slap himself for doing it and upon seeing the look on his lover’s face almost broke his heart…

Dara was no far from her husband’s state… confused as to what’s happening and wishing that’s it’s only just a nightmare for both of them…

Her lips parted… numbness took over her as she continuously gazed at her husband’s back… after a while, Jiyong stirred from his spot and gaze landed to where Taeyeon ran… Dara followed his gaze before she turned it back to Jiyong…

“Ji… Jiyong… I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to-…”

“It’s not your fault…”

He immediately cut her off as he faced her… but even though he said that, it still didn’t lessen the guilt inside of her… seeing the clear agony in his face, hearing that cold voice from him once again… how could she think that she’s not at fault… hearing his lover said those words to her earlier, how could she think that she’s not a nui