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I instantly felt suffocated… I looked down at Taeyeon and back at Jiyong… he’s looking at me with an unreadable expression in his eyes… this isn’t happening… please God please tell me this is just a dream…

Jiyong quickly went towards us… pushing me a bit to the side… I felt my body weakened and I thought I would fall if not for me remembering to support myself…

‘No… it’s not what it looks like…’

I want to say those words so bad… but my voice betrayed me and preferred to be unheard… my body stiffened… as I looked at him , hurriedly stoop down to Taeyeon supporting her to stand up…

I could hear the hard pounding inside my chest… it’s starting to hurt… I tried blinking my eyes hoping everything would just be back to normal… but then… the scene in front of me won’t disappear in my sight…

I looked around and people started to surround us… I felt my legs trembling as noise filled the once silent space… I could hear my name being whispered by the bystanders…

‘No… it’s not what it looks like…’

Please… just tell those words…don’t let them misunderstood you once again… please give yourself some confidence to at least blurt out those words…

“Who did this to you…?”

I snapped out from my thoughts when I heard Jiyong asking his lover… bringing up her marked wrists enough for the people around us to see… my gaze landed to Taeyeon… she didn’t speak but her slight stare on me made everyone concluded who the culprit is…

I shook my head and turned to Jiyong… who was too looking at me… I could feel the sting in my eyes… I could feel the hate from people’s eyes… and I could feel the disappointment and disbelief in his eyes…

‘Please don’t look at me that way…’

I want to shout it out loud… by my voice… why am I betraying myself… why am I hurting myself more…

He didn’t spoke a word… he just looked at me… I was expecting a cold stare from him… but I got welcomed by hurt in his eyes… why are you looking at me like that…? I turned my gaze back at Taeyeon but she now buried her face on his shoulder… I heard her cry… and I saw how Jiyong wrapped his arms around her… just then… I realized my defeat…

I felt a great pain inside my chest… crushing my beating muscle… stopping the circulation of my blood…his contorted expression said it all… but I won’t accept it quickly… I have been hurt a million of times before… been misunderstood by people for a couple of times… am I not worthy to save myself now…?

My lips were trembling… tears started to fill my eyes and I could feel that any minute by now it would burst its way out…

“It’s not…-“

“Why…?”

My mouth left hanged open as he cut me off… why…? What does he mean by why…?

“Jiyong… I didn’t-…”

“You almost got me…”

I saw him shook his head, still looking at me with those eyes… what is he talking about…? I tried to speak more but they started walking and pass by me… I felt my breath leaving me for a while when I felt his shoulder hit mine…

I quickly turned around and grabbed his wrist… a slight touch that send shivers down my spine… he turned back and did I just saw anticipation in his eyes…?

‘Just at least listen to me first… never did you listened to my words… al least for now… listen to me…’

“Please… believe me… I just saw her-…”

“Oppa..”

And now her voice beats me to it… grabbing his hand and holding it securely in hers… just then I felt myself loosened my hold on him… what am I thinking…? Why am I still gasping for his attention and understanding… even though I know in the end I will still not be the person who he will believe to… he and the people around us… they are all blinded by their hate for me… so what’s the use of saving myself…? if I’m already convicted instantly in the first place…

I saw his lips parted… expecting another hurtful statement from him… I bowed my head… and couldn’t help for a tear to finally escape my eyes… I really am so weak… up until now I couldn’t fight for myself…

But surprisingly… I didn’t hear a thing from him… I looked up only to see his back facing me… together with her… they left me broken and misunderstood… leaving me surrounded by the scrutinizing eyes of everyone… leaving me to be judged by the hate of these people…

Someone… just someone… please save me…

Tears continuously rolled down on my cheeks… now... I’m being pathetic in front of everyone… do I still have some dignity left in myself…? Oh God, how I wish to just disappear right at this moment… but maybe even you has already hated me…for a simple pride I couldn’t even give myself…

Luckily, I felt my feet dragging me off somewhere… my vision’s spinning together with the blur that brought by my tears… I just want to escape… just for now… I wanted to be alone… to have time mocking myself… why am I so weak…?

My feet continuously dragged me to somewhere… … hitting people along my way… I don’t care where my feet bring me… I just want to get out of this place…at least by staying away from this hell I could save myself… what have I done to deserve all of this…?

It’s so painful… seeing him looking at me with such disbelief in his eyes… it’s more painful hearing him with those hurtful and insulting wo