All throughout the night all he could think of is her… no matter how he shift his eyes especially his mind towards the girl he suppose to spend a happy night with… all he could see and think of is his wife…

Seeing her with his friend once again was really like a dagger being plunged inside his chest… how her smile could still melt his heart… how she could look good together with other men… and then suddenly it hit his mind if he too could look good with her… after all she’s his wife… but then… as usual… he brushed off the foolish thought… feeding himself especially his pride yet another lie…

But as much as he lock himself away and deny everything… in the end he still lose to himself… totally forgetting his pride once again… it now became his habit to succumb to his own self control…
She became like a drug… a drug that could enthrall every fiber of his body… a drug that he couldn’t escape to… at the same time a drug that continuously and slowly killing his heart….

No matter how he think of it… the reason behind the torture he’s suffering… he couldn’t make himself to get the right answer… for whenever he’s close to answering it… he would always drop out… cowardly accepting defeat for he doesn’t want and never wanted to pursue the one and only answer his mind could give him…

Since when did he learn to compare his lover to his wife… since when did he anticipate for his lover to get tired and ask him to bring her home… and since when did he focus his attention to some other girl beside his lover… he’s now a wreck… totally confused and in pain… too much torture adding up to his stress… he just wanted to escape it for once… the night should give him his time to break free… but in the end… he would still be locked up together with his own suffering… that the girl he should pass on the pain he’s carrying inside became the primary reason of his torture.

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He should see Taeyeon cute whenever she ask for him to do the tasks in every booth… he should be feeling fluttered whenever Taeyeon wrap her arms along with his… his heart should applause for excitement whenever Taeyeon peck on his lips…he should feel disappointed when Taeyeon told him she’s already tired from walking around…and he should be feeling down thinking she couldn’t join him in watching the fireworks…

But he didn’t… blaming himself why doesn’t he feel the same for her just like back then… why he cant make himself head over heels drooling for her company… all through out he did was trying to just look at her… the face of the girl he fell in love with… the woman his heart should beat loudly… but he can’t… why can’t he feel the same…? Since when did it all started…?
Such a peculiar feeling… his heart wouldn’t do somersault anymore whenever her sweet smile crept on her lips… his heart wouldn’t beat twice faster than it normally beats whenever she says she loves him… the voice that he always wanted to hear became just like any other sound… being mixed with the noise of the fair… how could everything change so fast…

It’s his first to see her became disappointed when he didn’t get her what she wanted… or maybe he already did saw her back then but too blinded to see that she really liked throwing tantrums whenever she didn’t get what she wants…. It’s his first to notice how her expression changes from serene to being irritated whenever they would have to try another booth… it’s his first to notice that she wasn’t really fond of walking around and instead insisting that they would just go to her house and spend the time there… he really wanted to enjoy the fair… especially watch the fireworks with her… but to his disappointment it’s his first to know that she never liked watching fireworks… telling him that it’s too smoky whenever it ends…

In the end she decided to go home… slightly telling him through her actions that she shouldn’t have agreed coming to the fair… constantly dusting of her dress when they were in his car… fixing herself each minute… totally ignoring the bear he worked hard for… for she would pout the entire night if he couldn’t get it for her…

He was silent… just listening to her small rants about how could the university allow outsiders to join the fair… that the fair shouldn’t be held in the field for it’s too dusty… and that it should just be a concert rather than a lame fair…

Since when she became such a nagger…? he realized… Until he found himself sighing after every of her complaints…

A wave of relief showered him when they got to her house… she invited him in but being with her somehow made him tired… he managed to get himself excused… telling her he have some business to finish… she pouted… obviously disappointed again…

That night he didn’t kiss her goodbye… just a small wave after series of persuasion to let him go…

And after that… here he go again… finding himself going back to the fair… hoping that ‘she’ would still be there… it bothers him thinking if she’s still with his friend… how foolish could he get deciding to go back and still pushing his luck finding her alone…

His heart paced hardly when he’s finally close to the fair… his feet dragged him quickly as soon as he arrived… looking for her around the area… and literally for him… he felt the time stopped when he saw her familiar figure under that fateful tree…

How could he forget looking first to her sanctuary… and just then… he felt himself being carried away by th