I thought it would be different when we live under the same roof. But it wasn't the change that I suspected or expected. Taemin wasn't his usual self, that much I can tell.

 

Every morning I'd wake up to find the bed is made up on my side. A little part inside of me dies when I think that I'm alone in the room, now that I'm used to his presence. He'd leave simple notes by the table lamp everyday, making sure to remind me of Itzel and to properly care for her. I don't object to this request as I distinctly remember that aside from his service as a waiter, he also works as a flowerist by the day. I'd get off bed and start of my morning earlier than the days when Taemin wasn't sharing a room and a home with me because nowadays I can't sleep when he is not by my side. In contrary, by the night time, when his small frame is in my sight, right in front of where I lay in bed, I'd doze off without realizing, heart feeling secure.

 

As per usual, Dahae-Noona wouldn't spare me off work and neither is Father. They seem cautious of handling things, noting on how the last accident had made us suffer. It's not fair! Even if they give me more paperworks and assignments, it still won't help if a fire breaks out suddenly. The fire was just a temporary bad luck moment that could happen to anyone.

 

I just come to know that actually, a meeting is scheduled every morning. And I was scold by Dahae-Noona because of my laziness and negligence for the past days when I won't wake up early, the days when Taemin haven't moved in. It kind of irks me to think that I actually 'works' in Dahae-Noona's favour. 

 

The curious thing is that I'd flip open my wallet to see the picture of me and Taemin together, that damned Nigel slip in, before every meeting. By the second I realize of this action, I'd wonder why it becomes my routine. Cheondung once caught me doing it, and I had to present him a new pocket watch to shut him off because threatening my father's man would not do me good. He gave me his best promise to hold his tongue.

 

When I return at afternoon, Taemin would busy himself around the house. Nigel is dismissed of his nanny care after morning; Taemin wanted to take care of his own baby and I kind of like that. While I work in my office with Dahae-Noona, I'd catch a glimpse of him dusting off furnitures, sweeping the tiled floor, vacuuming the carpet, walking in and out of the kitchen, serving lunch for us and sometimes play with Itzel and the toys I bought for her in the living room. Though he smiled, it didn't ease me of the suspicion of him going through a rough phase of life.

 

The only time we had in each other's company is when we briefly pass by each other in the corridor and before sleep. Key would frequent the house and they'd have tea in the balcony together with Itzel. I miss having that free time teasing Taemin and pinching Itzel's adorable cheeks. We talk, by night, but Taemin would not reveal what's bugging him. And I don't want to sound so interested, blame me for my ego.

 

I know that he is bottling things inside him again. Sometimes I just want to shake him and demand him to stop that. Haven't he had enough? And why do I care anyway? I don't know what's got into me. It's confusing and I'd probably lose my mind if I don't get to the root of this.

 

**********

 

"I haven't seen you out much these days." Key said, munching another chip from the bowl. I cradle Itzel as she drank her bottle eagerly and sigh silently before answering.

 

"I do." Key puts down his cup of tea.

 

"What? To the flower shop? Taeminie, you gotta live a little."

 

"I have everything here. And the house is always well-provisioned. I don't see the need to trouble myself going out." I replied placidly. Key is trying to persuade me again and I know he's not going to give up this time. What am I saying? He never does!

 

"Taemin, look at me." He said, lifting up my chin and I look into his eyes. "You're missing out on what you're supposed to... To experience. Don't waste your time reflecting and thinking. Remember that silly cartoon we watch together? 'The less you care, the happier you'll be.'"

 

"Hakuna matata?" I said, smiling softly at the fond memory of Saturday night with popcorn and banana milk watching rented movie at Key's.

 

"Exactly. And Minho didn't confine you, did he? It's also curious to see you both quarrel less now. Nigel is always around to help the house. And be this little baby's nanny!" Key exclaimed as he lightly pinches the child's cheek. Itzel looks back with big doe eyes and I couldn't resist to chuckle and place a kiss on her beautiful temple.

 

"He might even be around right now." Key added.

 

"Strange. I don't feel like sneezing when people mention me." Came a familiar voice from the door. Both me and Key glance to our back, finding Nigel bowing politely to us.

 

"What did I told you?" Key eyed me expectantly and I could only smile and shrug my shoulders.

 

"I don't even know where to go. And you're busy these days."

 

"Oh baby! I'd giv---" His phone suddenly rang and he rolls his eyes before taking it out of his pocket and answering his manager. I busy myself with Itzel as I listen to his conversation on perhaps, the new endorsement his manager prepared for him. Nigel came by my side and pours another cup of tea for himself. He must've remembered that I told him not to bother acting like a butler around me. It makes me feel stuffy. Key and him are also in a relatively agreeable friendship. Nigel lean his back on the balcony railing as he drank the lukewarm tea.

 

Key reluctantly hung up his phone and sigh significantly. "I have to go.. Just got scolded.." I laugh softly at him.

 

"Don't mind him. I know you'll enjoy doing it."

 

"I take those words and throw it right back at you honey." Key said before standing up and gave each Itzel and me a peck. "I might have a break at noon tomorrow. Promise me you'd go shopping together?" He said, with an adorable pout. I chuckle at this.

 

"If God permits, yes."

 

"Keep to it. I gotta run. Love you darling!" He exclaimed and Nigel agreed to him to the front door. I  watch as their appearance dissapear by the doorway and hear the sound of their voice growing distant. The neglected tea in my cup are drank to the last drop and I made my move to leave the venue as well. I cradle Itzel in my arms lightly and heard the gentle murmur of Minho's name out of her lips. It certainly caught my attention.

 

"You miss Minho?" I asked, surprised. Itzel chews her fingers and I could only smile at her babyish gesture. "Fine. It's about time he learns to take his turn anyway." I said, and kissed her cheek before setting out of the room.

 

What do I know? I might really take up Key's advice.

 

**********

 

As I expected, the outside breeze is a fresh relieve. I left Itzel in the care of Minho, who was surprised by my request. He didn't object though and appeared satisfied with the situation, like I do, now that I'm walking down the beautiful street. I didn't bother to take a car, nor a taxi and I refused Nigel's offer to accompany me. I wanted a time alone,  and that's exactly what I'm going to get.

 

The first shop I saw was the coffee shop, and I stopped by for an iced latte. It was expensive but I convinced myself that it's been a long time since I've used my own money. Unconsciously, I smile at the thought of Minho.

 

The atelier store a half mile away had a gorgeous blue ribbon on display. I went ahead and enquired about it from the shopkeeper. Apparently, nobody favoured bow tie styling these days and the only order they have is this one particular ribbon, on sale with half price now. I don't wear suits everyday, not even to work and I'm certain I'd never use it. But, the more I see the details of its woven silk, and the lightness of the blue, striped with white, the more regret I'd have to walk out of it. In the end, I bought it, thankful that it's cheaper than the usual pricing. I had an outrageous idea how to make use of it.

 

I decided to walk along the children's park, where I sometimes bring Itzel to play with friends. My heart grips and I know I misses her. There were not much people and it was quiet enough for a cat to curl up and sleep on the bench.

 

What caught my attention though, was the playground's sandbox. I stare at it, subconsciously, as I lean on the fence before the riverside. It reminded me of some time not long ago, I ran into.. Jonghyun.

 

What I remember of him, compared to the moment I laid my eyes on the present him, seems so different. His shiny thin lips when he smiles, the big honest eyes when he talks and the strong shoulders of his great presence, all are somewhat similar, and nostalgic... Yet, not enough to convey that he was the one I left years ago.

 

Maybe he has grown out of his adorable charm, and finally become a man he had wanted to be. Responsible, firm, sings well and... tall. I let out a laugh, remembering his childish demand of centimeters. There was once, a period where he was obsessed with thick shoe insoles. Eventually he got tired of it and settled of pulling me to sit on his lap whenever he saw me standing, afraid people would realize that I'm actually taller than him.

 

Then there was the time when he didn't want to talk. It took about two days for everyone to worry sick about him, until I finally solved the puzzle. His throat wasn't in a good condition and he got ashamed for failure in singing properly. I cradled him in my arms, like how I do to Itzel when she can't sleep, and he hugged me tightly, buried his face in my chest and spent all night confessing muffled 'I love you's into my shirt until he's spent.

 

I once went to a weekend vacation with Key, only to comeback to Jonghyun who cried listening to my favourite song at the seat where I usually dine at. Lovesick, he said. He was such a crybaby and it's the second fact I with, beside his height, which he cares so much.

 

It scares me. It scares me to think of the time before, the time now, and what's in the future. I'm scared to see Jonghyun, and to know of what exactly happened. I recently realize that in front of Minho too.. I'm scared. What I feel for both of them is completely different and yet I can't quite grasp at what it is. 

 

I look up at the vibrant evening sky and blink, only realizing that I forgot to a few moments earlier and felt the prickling pain. I sigh and wipe away the little tears that cleanse my eyes. It's growing colder and I tuck my hands in my pockets, sniffing up my runny nose.

 

Then, awake from my doze, I saw that another person whom I feel different about, is not less than a few steps before me. His familiar voice which startled me, that made me realize, it's Joon.

 

I almost couldn't breathe and before I realize it, I ran away as discreet as possible. I don't think he saw me, but still, he frightened me. I hide behind a big pole and felt a shiver crawl up my spine. By then, a stab of guilt over my heart tells me of one thing.

 

Go home.

 

**********

 

"I'll see this finished tomorrow. And don't forget to message Taecyeon about what we discussed. And Sir Iseul may want to see the estate file, do leave it on your table. I'll bring it to him morrow." Dahae-Noona instructed as she finally made move to settle the final work of the day.

 

"Fine.." I replied, following a sigh. Dahae-Noona pats me on the back and wore her handbag. She left the room as the grandfather clock showed 6.35 p.m.

 

"Oh, and," She glances inside with a smile. "Good work, Minho." She left before I could thank her. Guess it takes effort to have one's approval..

 

I took the empty mug along with me as I quit the office for the day. Taemin had been reminding me again and again to lay off the wealthy-lazy-hand habit. 

 

As soon as I got out the corridor and into the entrance hall though, Taemin emerges from the main door. He looked dishevelled.

 

"Hey, what's wrong?" I enquired, as he fixes his eyes on me and tried to catch his breath. Have he been running?

 

"I.... I went out today." He confessed, eyes still looking troubled.

 

"I realized." I replied.

 

"And.." Taemin continued but seems reluctant. 

 

"Never mind.." He said before walking fastly to dissapear upstairs. Nigel came out from the kitchen corridor, surprised at the scene and I hand him the mug before tagging behind Taemin as well. I flung open the door to my room, finding him sitting curled up on the bed.

 

"Taemin, tell me. What happened?" I asked, rather harshly. He's making me worried and watching him hurt like this is only making it worse. I walk to him and sat before him. 

 

"Nothing! It's just me... I feel bad." He said, refusing to meet up to my eyes.

 

"You think I'm stupid enough to believe that?"

 

"I'd wish.." He murmured. Annoyed, I scoop him up easily, realizing that he lost a few pounds and settles him down on my lap. He yelps with surprise dancing in his eyes as I hug him tightly.

 

"Then we stay like this until you talk to me about it." I declared, resolved.

 

"Don't be ridiculous! Let me go!" Taemin refused as he tried to pry me away. To no avail, of course.

 

"I'm not. So you better start talking now."

 

"No! You're suffocating me!"

 

"Good." I replied. And finally, he sighs with anger.

 

"Fine! Just stop the bone-crushing hug." I managed to keep my face from creasing a satisfied smile and loosen my grip on him instead. He sighs before he begins.

 

"I was walking, at the playground."

 

"Doze off?" Taemin eyed me for cutting his words and I smiled sarcastically fake. Then stops, and nudges him to continue.

 

"I was at the playground. And I met Joon-hyung."

 

"What? That freak?"

 

"He didn't do anything. In fact he didn't realize I was there." I inwardly thank god at the revealations. "When I saw him, I ran away. I hid so he wouldn't know."

 

"Okay.." I murmured.

 

"No. It's not. It's not okay at all." Taemin objected, which surprises me. "Can't you see? I'm such.... I'm such a coward. I keep running away."

 

"No you're not.."

 

"I am. I run away from things when I feel.. pressured. Whatever I do, when I think it's too hard, I don't face it." Taemin confessed solemnly. I watch him toying with the loosen thread of my suit's hand button.

 

"And..?"

 

"And I'm tired of it. Tired of waiting for the problem to go away. It doesn't make me feel good.. You know, like when a wolf comes to a village. People stay in their home to wait until it goes away. They come out after they think the village's safe. Well it's not.. It could always come back.. Knowing that, it doesn't make you feel good. That's pretty much explains my current situation." He said, not bothering to look up. I think of the best response I can make. My hunch was right that he's in a rough phase, so I don't want to mess this up. Especially when he's opening up about it to me. Eventhough I had to force him to.

 

"Well I think you're very tough." I said to the chick, who chuckles at me.

 

"Kidding me again?"

 

"No. I'm not." Taemin slowly looks up to meet my eyes, seemingly expectant. "Taemin, you bore Itzel, raised her as her only parent, and you did that without giving up halfway. And look, you're still in one piece! So what if you hid from Joon? It doesn't mean you're a coward. You're just taking the best option to avoid the possibility of getting into trouble."

 

He seems hesitant but still locked eyes with me. "Minho.." He called my name softly and I felt a shiver run down my spine. "I have a favour."

 

"What is it?"

 

"Let me see him. Let me see Kevin." My jaw almost drops at the mention of that person's name. Around Taemin, it felt sensitive.

 

"How did you.."

 

"I don't know much. But I do realize that you know I ran into.. Jonghyun. I'm pretty sure that Kevin is around when I saw him that day. Let me see him."

 

"But, it will--"

 

"I'm sick, so sick of waiting for Jonghyun to actually return and explain that this is merely a nightmare. I miss the life I had once. I'm afraid but I can't take it anymore." Hearing Taemin talks about Jonghyun dampens my spirit. It takes away the encouragement I wanted to give him. I hear him continues however.

 

"I... I might still, love Jonghyun. But it's time I show that I'm not waiting forever." Taemin said, and I saw him trying to steady himself after being honest. It maddens me.

 

"If talking to Kevin won't make the truth any better or hurt me again, at least I make an effort of stepping off this stupid fantasy I've been going on hoping for a happy ending. I'll move on, not giving up but show that I've suffered enough."

 

I was in astonishment and didn't made any move of answering. I thought of how a little twist could change Taemin's life. Like what happened to us, living together. I don't give a damn. But I'd hate to live and see Taemin back with that ing jerk, Mr. J.

 

It's his life. Let him be.

 

"Minho, please..?" Taemin softly asked. I brace myself, pray silently for the best and agreed.

 

"You made your choice." I answered. Taemin didn't smile but hugs me instead. 

 

This was a hard decision to make, how did it come around to him? It's dissapointing to hear him still care for that person, but my anger is soothed by this.. embrace. I hug him back tightly, relishing the warmth that flows between us. It was for a moment only though. Taemin suddenly stands up, face flushed and cheek blossoming. I realize by then, he's growing shy around me. I managed to keep my lips from tugging up.

 

"I hear Itzel." He said.

 

"Guess she woke from sleep." I replied and follows him towards the nursery. I catch his hand as we walk and he look at me, bewildered. "Consider it's one of the payment for the favour you ask." I whisper to him.

 

"Don't tease me." He said, pouting cutely. I lightly laugh at his reaction.

 

"Now listen. Kevin will come back to see me, to claim a property I owe him for helping me at Salzburg. It won't be long before it'll arrive and you have to be prepared any day now."

 

"I am." Taemin briefly replied. "But I.. Ineedyoutobewithmethen." He said before scurrying off.

 

"Huh? What?"

 

"Oh you deaf Sir? That was the best remark!" Said Nigel as he emerges out from the nearest door, phone in his hand. Godness, this damn butler. He follows my eyes and quickly put it away. "No, I wasn't holding anything." He reminded attentively and walked away.

 

"Nigel did you took anything?"

 

"Oh yes Sire, your insanity if I may."

 

 

 

 

 

**********

Allo! Is everyone excited for Sherlock as much as I am?? Keke!
Enjoy and comment. :)