Oneshot

Song of my heart

“Donghae ah, you done?”

“Just a minute!”

Donghae slapped himself on the face multiple times before getting off the toilet seat to wash his face. Stop it Donghae. Stop being such a crybaby. He sprayed water all over his face and turned the tap off. He only allowed himself to look back at his reflection after letting his head hang low, collecting his emotions, making sure he’ll be fine when he goes out. Okay, you’re good. Now smile, smile. He practiced his wide grin before finally, unlocking the door, revealing his oldest hyung. Donghae murmured a soft ‘sorry’ and was about to push past Leeteuk to go to the dining room when he was held back by his shoulders. “Just cry if you want to.”

Donghae gave a slight nod to acknowledge his instructions and walked to the table to continue his work. He was composing a heartbreaking ballad based on his own experience. It was only through his songs that he felt can express his true heart, other than confiding in him.

Donghae sat down and began to fiddle around with the mini keyboard beside him. He tapped on many keys to find the perfect note but he couldn’t find the last tune to his song. Dammit, it’s just one key, why can’t I find it. He cursed silently, frustrated with this endless gesture of punching the black and white keys. His eyebrows collided in the middle and decided to give up. Forget it, I’m always useless.

He switched the keyboard off and got started on the lyrics. He didn’t have to think long of what would go with the melody of the song because he could describe everything he was feeling thanks to him. As he wrote more and more, never stopping once, he could feel something bubbling in him, nearly overflowing. “Just cry if you want to.” Leeteuk’s voice floated in his mind and at that moment, he felt the familiar sensation rising. This feeling was not new to him, sadness was no stranger. Donghae threw his pencil down immediately and ran into his room.

Thanking God that only him and his hyung was home, he flung himself on the bed nearest to the door, his bed. He hugged the pillow and took in a huge breath. There it is, this smell. Strawberry scented. I miss you… Every time he lies on this bed, he never fails to feel comforted, from someone he missed every single day of his life.

He turned himself over and stared at the ceiling that was hung with hundreds of pictures of him and that someone. He chuckled as he reminisced on how he even agreed to hang those there.

-

“Come on, just hang them! I like to see it everyday.”

The older pouted at Donghae, his bottom lip sticking out. Donghae looked at the guy before him and started to mimic him, sticking his bottom lip out too.

“But why? Its… weird.”

“It’s either this or buying me a new dog. Choco’s getting lonely nowadays.” Eunhyuk retorted back with the smartest threat he could think of. He knew that Donghae was already irritated with him spending more time with his dog than with him, so he couldn’t possibly reject the idea of hanging their pictures now can he.

“Fine, you win.”

“YESSSSSSS.”

Eunhyuk put his arms around his boyfriend and clasped his hands together behind his neck. “You know what? You’re the best.” He broke into his infamous gummy smile, which looked plastered on, weak somehow to Donghae. Eunhyuk’s head launched forward and Donghae swiftly closed his eyes at what he thought was coming. He only knew how off he was when he felt his entire left cheek being covered in saliva, with a tongue still flopping around. He opened his eyes in disgust and glared at Eunhyuk with Choco, who was still busy him.

“You- You’re dead Lee Hyukjae! You too Choco!”   

-

He couldn’t help but let out a small laugh as he remembers chasing the two of them around the house like a maniac. Well, at least in the end he got a peck from Eunhyuk on the cheek. But that laughter was short lived as he remembered that was also the day where his heart stopped beating. God, why was I so stupid not to realize he was faking it.

-

T h u m p

He fell, with no warning at all, off the tall stool while hanging their photos and laid stone dead on the cold floor.

“Hyuk? Oh come on, don’t sleep now.” Donghae laughed at the lifeless body on the floor. He knelt down to poke him in the sides, his most ticklish spot. But Eunhyuk didn’t stir, he still laid on the floor with his eyes closed. “You idiot, we haven’t even finish hanging our photos yet. Hurry wake up!” Donghae nudged the older once again. “Wake up… Please?” He finally gave up trying to get the man to open his eyes. What am I doing… He’s gone…

Donghae took Eunhyuk into his arms and hugged him as tightly as possible, finally releasing the tears that were bottled up inside of him for so long. Why, why so soon? He gripped the back of his black wife beater so much so that the fabric crumpled in his hands. His entire body shook as he cried with all his might. No Hyuk, no. I love you so, so much. He whispered softly into his ear, hoping somehow, his words will reach him. Donghae broke contact to slowly attach his lips to the other, moving it against one that wasn’t, was tough.

-

Donghae forced himself to open his eyes. He couldn’t even bear to go past that memory, it was too painful. Suddenly, a depressing yet beautiful melody floated past his ear. He was humming it apparently unknowingly, to a tune that Eunhyuk used to hum whenever he was feeling nervous. He said it helped him stay calm and he can recollect his thoughts again. I got it! I got the tune.

Not wasting anytime, he ran out to finish his undone music piece. Feeling more inspired than ever, he tries the keyboard again, not stopping till he found the perfect pitch to the melody he was humming. Pencil pencil pencil. Where are you pencil?! He fumbled aroung the table for the pencil to write down one last short chorus before claiming his song as done.

Last love, last kiss, last dream
My heart that only knows you,
Only remembers you

Goodbye my love, my kiss
It’s like it has stopped
- without you

My love, my kiss, my heart
I will forget it all,
I will erase it all.

“This is for you Hyuk. I will forget all the pain and live to be happy for you. Soon, I’ll be with you. Nothing can hold me back, not even this disease that took you away from me.  I love you Eunhyuk.”

 

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A/N: a little extra, i just couldnt leave this out. hehehe i stan them sfm. oh ya. tell me how it is~ i've never killed hyuk off before so i wanna know it is~ ^^

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Comments

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aces_kaira99
#1
Chapter 1: <span class='smalltext text--lighter'>Comment on <a href='/story/view/66842/1'>Oneshot</a></span>
ai.... ...
leejinki123
#2
Chapter 1: Ah hyuk is my no.1 bias in suju. I must be going crazy as ive been reading alot of hyukkie death fics. Ah my heart aches but i liked it. Ara~ what was he suffering from i wonder?!
Thanks
diastikananda #3
Chapter 1: Hiksss sad yet romantic
Subscribed
OnASnowyDay
#4
awwww. -o-
vanilaice
#5
aww it`s a sad story I wanted to cry :(...why did he even die? Was he sick or something???
ancho10rhythm
#6
waw...<br />
i really read this ff with the song play T.T<br />
good story >.<