Title               : Stuck

Author           : valeriej  

Genre            : Angst, Friendship

Characters     : Xiumin,  EXO

Story link       : click here

Status            : Complete (5 chapters)

I guess the one thing that people could say about me without hesitance was that I had never been good with words and because of this I had always felt stuck. I never got to tell the people I loved just how much they meant to me. It was hard, almost impossible, to voice your emotions with words. But, as a wise man once told me, words fade. I, instead, chose to live my life day to day off of feelings.

I remembered the loud thumping of the music reverberating in my chest. I remembered the feeling of the lights on my skin. I remembered the screams of the people who had spent their life savings just to see this show. Just to get a glimpse of us. But the thing I remembered most, the best feeling in the world, is the feeling of their hands in my own as we always took our final bows; their gross sweaty hands. I remembered the slight shake in all of their palms. I knew the adrenaline was coursing through their veins like it was mine.

I had gone through my life, all 89 years of it. I knew the joy in your heart the when you went to lift your wife’s veil at the altar. I knew the love that soars through your soul the moment your child is born into this world and clutches your giant finger in its tiny little hand.

And yet, no matter how horrible it got, I could never do it. I could never do anything about the feeling because in reality there was nothing to do. And feelings are the one thing that should never be forgotten; bad or good.

“He had been going through a lot of his own personal struggles at the time. You know what they say, people are always fighting their own demons inside, even if you can’t see them.” - Xiumin.

“Kris was an addict. We tried our best to help him but in the end there was nothing more that we could do. We tried to get him help but he kept pushing us away. But he would have wanted us to continue on with this band and we will. We’ll do it for you, Kris. Fighting!” - EXO.

I didn’t blame him for anything. This band was SuHo’s whole world. He had spent his entire childhood preparing for this lifestyle. He didn’t know anything else and it would have been a culture shock for him to lose it. He wasn’t about to do anything to jeopardize it. At least, that was what I thought at the time.

Kris’ death had affected all of us in different ways, but I knew that Tao had been hit the hardest. I didn’t know what it was like to have an other half but I was sure that Tao and Kris had been soul mates.

You don’t have to be romantically involved with someone in order for them to be your soul mate. They say that it’s someone who will bring out your absolute best. Someone who knows everything about you. Someone who you trust completely. I know Kris never said anything like this aloud, to anyone ever. But deep down I knew he felt this way about Tao. They were two peas in a pod. And I knew that Tao had lost his other half and I didn’t think I knew that feeling. But I knew that, from the look on his face, I never wanted to experience it. There are things worse than the feeling of dying and I couldn’t think of anything worse than what Tao must’ve been going through.

“You all know that he wouldn’t have given two s about continuing this band. He didn’t care about it at all. He’s been wanting out for years but you all forced him to stay. You forced him to stay and you kept pushing him and