Katrina
Finished 1/24/2014

The Iron Maiden
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/610449/the-iron-maiden-snsd-taeny-yuri

About: Taeyeon(SNSD)+Tiffany(SNSD), yuri, romance, other dimension, supernatural, character death, angst, royalty

Title: 5/5 At first I didn't understand what the title had to do with the story until I read the epilogue, and then everything just clicked together. Great job.

Foreword: 10/10 Full marks. You manage to keep it simple while also bringing forth the reader's attention and interest with your short but descriptive wors.

Plot: 20/20 Your plot is really unique and well-thought out. There are a lot of unpredictable twists at every nook and cranny of the story. The readers can't even guess what is going to happen next. At first, I though the Drakon was somehow controllable by Taeyeon, but then you changed it by making it that Taeyeon is bitten by it instead.

Characters: 20/20 Everybody is perfectly written and characterized flawlessly. No mistakes at all.

Grammar and Spelling: 19/20 There are a few times where you would switch from past to present tense, but it's usually for only one or two words.

In chapter one, P(aragraph)111 (though my counting might be a bit off since you have a lot of chapters) "That sly coward old man." should be "That sly cowardly old man."

Flow: 15/15 Your flow is perfect despite that fact that a lot of events are crammed into one chapter. I love how you give Tiffany and Taeyeon some time to get to know each other before jumping right into the main plot.

Enjoyment: 4/5 I enjoyed this story a lot though I find the chapters a bit too long.

Structure: 5/5 This is only my own personal opinion, but your chapters are a bit too long, making your flow seem off when it really isn't. It's ok for them to be this way, but separating them would make your story more neater.

Overall: 98/100 Your spelling is perfect, your plot is amazing, and your characters are very well-described. This story is very well-thought out. Everything is nearly perfect except for a few small mistakes.

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