Chapter 7

I had ordered about five to six cups of warm coffee the next morning for us before I decided to head out to the hospital. When I had arrived to the room, my grip on the door handle was, a little shaky for some odd reason. I felt kind of nervous since I didn't know what to do or what to say when I would get in. With a small sigh, I twisted the door opened and went into the room. Ji Min was sitting in the corner of the room watching TV with Jae Kyung sitting next to him; they looked more than relaxed. The other three boys were all sitting around the bed and were looking down at their hands, as if they were guilty of something. I felt bad for them. They seemed to not know what to do and I really couldn't blame them.

I walked over to the stand and placed the cups of coffee on top before I decided to hand them out. The three boys didn't even notice I was there until I had tapped onto their shoulder to let them know that I had their coffee for them. They all hesitantly grabbed the cups of coffee from my hands and held it instead of drinking them. Ji Min and Jae Kyung had decided to go out and get breakfast and for some reason, they made the three guys get up from the bed to go with them. It was kind of weird because the three of us, meaning Ji Min, Jae Kyung, and I weren't even friends with the other three... Or four, I would say. It jus wasn't something normal for us and I'm sure that all of us found it pretty awkward even if we didn't want to admit it.

Once they were all out of the room, I sat down on one of the chairs that was next to the bed and stared at him. My heart felt heavy seeing him like this. It was kind of weird how I was sitting next to him as if I was his friend and that I was worried for him like I knew him for a long time, when I really didn't know a thing or two about him. He looked so peaceful and if I might say, he was pretty good looking, even if his eyes were closed. This made me wonder how he would actually look like if he were to smile. I bet he would actually be really handsome, but not everyone has a good smile, right? I could be lying.

I still couldn't believe that we were here in the hospital. Seeing him passed out in the cafeteria yesterday was frightening and very shocking to everyone that was around. No one knew what had happened and I'm glad that they didn't. I'm sure he'd be embarrassed to let everyone know that he had attempted to kill himself and if not, for the second time. The doctor said that he must have overdosed himself with over the counter drugs before heading to school and if he wasn't sent to the hospital soon, he might have not made it. Every time he was almost successful, he was somehow saved. It was scary just thinking about it; what if he wasn't alive at this very moment? What would we all have done? What would the school think as well? And what about his friends who couldn't even speak one word about this whole situation?

Why was he doing this to himself? What was hurting him so much that he wanted to end his own life? He was saved... twice. I barely knew this guy; I just found out about his name just a week ago. But here I am... I'm sitting here, worried for him, wondering when he was going to get up and realize that he was still alive. He will not be happy to realize the reality of this since a few days ago showed that he was upset. I wonder how it was going to be when he finds out about it this time; you're alive. I just know it because this isn't the first time that it's happened. But if he wanted to kill himself, why would he overdose and then come to school? Did he want someone to know? Maybe... Maybe he wanted some closure?

My eyes went down to his hands and for some reason, I had a feeling of wanting to grab it and hold onto them, just like in those movies where family members or friends would do so to a loved one, but I had no reason to. I was staring at his hands for so long, that I thought I was seeing things for a moment. His hands were twitching, as if he was going to wake up soon. I blinked a few times and stood up from my seat and bent over to look over at his face. I wonder if his eyes were going to open or if-

"AHHH!" My nose started bleeding.

I'm sure you guys are wondering what the hell just happened at that very moment. He suddenly got up, as if he had just gotten out from drowning in water and is now finally breathing oxygen. His face hit my face directly and the both of us flinched backwards. His face ruptured my nose, I swear. I looked down at all of the blood that was getting onto my hands and tried to find a tissue as quickly as possible, but before I could even go and reach for one, I felt his hand wrap around my wrist and pull me forward. Without even realizing it, his hands were already holding onto a bunch of tissues and he had the tissues pressed onto my nose.

"Don't tilt your head backwards." He said quietly. "Lean forward and let it out."

My eyes went over to his and I could tell that he was trying to avoid me. I'm sure he was either embarrassed at the fact that he had just ruptured my nose or that he was here at the hopsital and here I was, once again, here to witness his attempts. Not only was the atmosphere getting a little awkward, but the way he was avoiding me made me think that this whole situation was a little funny. I couldn't help but start laughing, only because he was being shy and because this was really embarrassing in general.

"Why are you laughing?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Nothing..." I was going to shake my head, but that meant that his hands would move with me since he was still holding the tissue onto my nose.

"Does... Does it hurt?" He asked, his eyes turning round.

I grabbed the tissue from him and backed up a few steps. "I'm fine. Thank you."

The door opened behind me and in came Ji Min, Jae Kyung, and the other three boys. Ji Min quickly ran to me when he saw that my nose was bleeding while the other three guys ran over to their friend's side on the bed.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Ji Min grabbed the bloody tissue from me and looked at my nose. "Did you hit yourself?"

"No, I... Uh..." I stopped talking, not knowing how to explain the situation. "It was an accident."

"Are you okay? Why are you overdosing yourself with medication?!" I think his name was Lu Han, if I was correct.

Lay, the dimpled guy, had his arms wrapped around his friend and was hugging him tightly. "Jong Dae, I love you, don't ever do this to us ever again!"

"Chen, if you ever think that we'll forgive you for doing something stupid like this, or think that this is a joke, I'll ing kick you to hell myself." Xiu Min punched Chen on the arm. "And I'll go with you if I have to."

"Here, let's go wipe your nose." Jae Kyung grabbed my arm and pulled me into the bathroom.

She took a bunch of toilet paper in the bathroom and rolled it into a huge fluffly ball before she ran it under water. She made me tilt my head so she could wipe off the dried blood that was around my nose. Every time she would dab my nose, I flinched; it really hurt. I still couldn't believe that Chen had hit my face so hard that my nose started bleeding. It made me chuckle thinking about it.

"Why are you laughing, Ga Eul?" Jae Kyung asked as she handed me dried toilet paper to wipe the rest of the blood. "What even happened?"

"Chen's face hit mine..." I crumpled the toilet paper up and threw into the waste bin. "Kind of embarrassing..."

"Yeah... I would say." Jae Kyung laughed this time. "Are you okay?"

I nodded my head and opened the bathroom door. "Let's go."

After discharging Chen, Ji Min and Jae Kyung left home right away. Xiu Min, Lu Han, and Lay were trying to make Chen go home with them, but he just kept refusing for some reason. I watched as they bickered with one another, Xiu Min threatening to kill him if he tried to commit suicide again, Lu Han pretending to strangle him for his actions but trying his best to say kind words, and Lay hugged him and kissed his neck like a little kid while he was begging him to stay safe. What was Chen missing or what was hurting him that this couldn't make up for it? His friends showed that they cared and they looked serious about it. What else would make him want to leave this place or his friends behind?

I didn't even realize that the two of were alone for awhile now. Chen was standing next to me, looking ahead of himself and taking in the afternoon air that was surrounding us while I was fiddling with my fingers, trying to think of something to do. Without thinking, I decided to walk off because I didn't think that I really belonged there at that moment and I don't think he really wanted to be or talk with me. I looked ahead of myself and realized that there was so much time in the day since we had skipped school so I took a detour and made my way to the beach. The beach was one of my getaways.

When I got to the beach, I sat down on the sidewalk and placed my feet on top of the sand slowly, not wanting to get any sand into my shoes. As I took a deep breath, I saw someone sit down beside me and wrap their arms around their knees. I looked over to see that it was Chen. Was he following me this whole time or something? I didn't even hear him following me nor did I see him, but I guess I didn't mind. At least this time, I knew he was safe and that he wasn't going to try anything again, or at least that was what I was hoping. Let's not try to jinx something that isn't happening right now.

We sat in silence for awhile and looked ahead of ourselves. I tried to look at him from time to time, but I didn't want to make it more awkward than it already was. I guess I couldn't really say anything either because it did seem like I pestered him a little by saving him the first time and being here with him, right? I wonder what he was thinking or how he was feeling right now. Should I ask him questions or even start a conversation with him since the two of us were already like this? Or was he thinking the same thing and I just didn't know it? I bet the two of us were thinking this, wondering if one of us should speak, but maybe we were afraid to interrupt one another.

"Are you okay?" We both said at the same time.

How ironic...

"I'm fine." I said after a few moments of silence. "Are you?"

He nodded his head.

"Are you... Mad?" I asked, only because he was mad when I saved him from drowning himself from before.

"I heard you're sick." He was avoiding my question.

"I'm getting better." I didn't even realize that my fever was still kind of there. I guess that wasn't even on my mind since this whole time, my mind was only focused on Chen and how he was doing.

"It was because of me, right?" I looked over at him, kind of curious to how he looked like when he was asking me these questions.

"No, it was because I was being careless." I didn't want to blame him after what he's been through; it'd be tough to put so much burden onto his shoulders.

"You're lying." It was as if he knew I was lying.

"I'm not." I tried to sound more stern.

Chen suddenly reached over and felt my forehead, surprising me.

"What are you doing?" I backed up from his reach.

"You're still burning with a fever." His eyes finally met mine. "You shouldn't be out here like this."

"I'm fine." I shrugged and looked away from him, hoping he'd leave me alone about my fever.

"You should take better care of yourself." Was this kid serious? I'm not trying to be rude, but he really just said something that I would throw at him.

I scoffed.

"You wouldn't understand."

I think he understood the irony of his words. He was telling me to take care of myself when he was the one who trying to kill himself.

"Tell me then, Chen." I leaned on my knees and looked over at him. "Tell me so I can understand."

"How long have you known my name? Did Lu Han, Xiu Min, or Lay tell you?" Chen asked, totally avoiding my questions and such again.

"I never asked them for your name. I knew before they even said it." I shrugged. "Why? Are you surprised?"

"No." What a vague answer. It kind of made me upset.

"Well, then how do you know my name?" I asked raising my eyebrow.

"Choi Ga Eul..." The way he said my name somehow made my heart flutter.

I pouted my lips as I stared at his features. Chen, was in fact, handsome even if he didn't smile. His side profile was really sharp and I found it really attractive. I know I shouldn't be staring at him like this, but I really couldn't help it. Chen was very good looking.

"Chen..."

He looked over at me.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked as I bit my bottom lip eagerly.

He didn't say anything, but he nodded anyways.

"Are you going to do it again?" I didn't know if this was an appropiate question, but I had to ask sooner or later and I guess I had chosen sooner than later.

His eyes widened a little, but he quickly recomposed himself and stared down at his hands. He didn't seem like he wanted to answer my question and I couldn't blame him. Why would he tell someone, who he barely knows, that he might attempt it again? And to put this more straightforwardly, no one would tell anyone that they're going to attempt suicide unless they really wanted help.

"You're not mad, are you?"

It was really irritating that he wasn't even answering my questions, but I guess I still couldn't blame him.

"Nevermind. You don't have to answer the questions, I-"

"I'll give you an answer when I have one." Chen finally spoke, but it was soft and there was a hint of pain in it.

I looked over at him even though I knew he would have hated it, but I really couldn't help it. We sat in silence for the rest of the night. I didn't know how long we sat like that for, but we watched the sun set and from there on, I didn't know when he had left me out at the beach alone. I didn't mind though. I wasn't expecting him to tell me that he was going to leave or actually, I wasn't expecting him to speak or say anything at all because well, he just didn't seem like the type to. I was a little disappointed by the fact that I did have to walk back home alone though. I guess I shouldn't be too disappointed, right? It's not like I was expecting anything out of him, or was I?

**A/N: I feel so tired lately~ I'm trying my best to update my chapters :) Please be patient with me! By the way, did you guys watch videos or see pictures of our boys at their first concert? For some reason, I can't stand to watch fancams OTL. They don't satisfy me. FML. But I'm seriously jealous of the fans who had gotten to see them. Forever crying... Seriously. The concert looked amazing and so fun. Our boys are all grown up! Hehehe~ Anyways, enjoy the update! I'll try and update as soon as I can :) Please read and comment. I'd love to hear about your opinions, so please don't be a silent reader. Thank you and read with lots of love! Keke~! Muah