Chapter 28: Author’s POV

Ga Eul felt like she stopped breathing for a while. She looked at Chen, who was staring back at her with a disappointed look on his face. She didn’t know why, but she suddenly let go of Chen’s hands. She was in disbelief; how did he know when she hadn’t said a word? She thought back when she was in the hospital just a couple of days ago. She remembered him saying that she fainted, so she couldn’t understand how he would know about her heart.

“W-what are you talking about?” She tried to pretend not to understand what Chen was trying to say, but her voice shook.

“The bottle that you lost when we first met… That had your medication in it, right?” Chen remembered. “When you fainted at school that was because you didn’t have your medication and you were under a heart attack, right?”

Ga Eul couldn’t believe he remembered all this. Her hands started shaking as she tried to recall back the memories that he was reminding her of.

“Is this why you were always so hesitant to be my friend?” He asked as he started to avoid her eyes, afraid that if he were to look in them, he would only break down even more. “Because you’re afraid that one day, you’re really going to leave me?”

She started crying, but it was quieter than usual. He was right about everything that he was saying that she couldn’t even say anything back to him. Ga Eul felt guilty for everything she’s done and seeing that Chen was hurt because of her own selfishness, she wanted to scream and shout, but all she did was cry.

 “You knew how I felt about people leaving me and yet… You kept this from me…” Chen was hurt, but he didn’t know if it was because it felt like he’s lied to him this whole time or it’s because he might actually lose her. “How could you pretend that everything was okay when it wasn’t?”

“Because I was supposed to just tell you that I had a heart problem, right, Chen? Because the first thing you say to someone you want to befriend is that you’re going to die, but you’re not sure when so they should go forth with it until the day comes, right?” Ga Eul’s never retorted back like this towards Chen, but if they were going to talk, she was going to say what was on her mind.

“How could you say it like that?” He felt like the person, who thought understood him, didn’t understand anything that he was feeling right now.

“You were hurt yourself; you hated that people left you when they got close, but I’m not doing this on purpose.” She shook her head from side to side. “I really wanted to be friends with you and if I had a choice, I wouldn’t leave you… I would never leave you.”

Chen looked up at the sky as he cried; he was hoping that by lifting his head back, the tears would fall back, but they still managed to stream down his face.

“Then why does it feel like you’re leaving me?” He asked.

Ga Eul stood silent. “I’m not saying I am.”

“Ga Eul… I don’t want you to leave me…”

Ga Eul felt like dropping down to her knees hearing Chen sound so weak. She walked over and cupped his face with her hands, trying to make him look at her, but he avoided her by looking over to the side. She felt hurt seeing that he wouldn’t look at her. Everything had come down so quickly; she didn’t even have time to prepare for something like this.

“Why won’t you look at me?” Ga Eul’s eyes wandered around his features.

“How can I look at you knowing that you might be gone tomorrow?” Chen closed his eyes as a few more tears came strolling down his cheeks.

Ga Eul slowly fell onto her knees and cried her heart out; she didn’t know what to do or say anymore. He was right. What was she going to do if she didn’t make it the next day? It was her fault that this happened, that he felt this way, that he was hurt because she didn’t take any actions earlier. She felt sorry, but she knew she couldn’t even apologize to him; he was already past the apology and was too hurt to even care for one. And Chen hated it. He hated that he couldn’t do anything.

“I’m sorry…” Chen said before he turned around and walked off, leaving Ga Eul a crying mess at her door. “I-I can’t do this right now…”

“Don’t go…” Ga Eul cried out, but it was no use; Chen was gone. “Who was the one who really walked away when things got hard…?” She whispered as she bent over the ground and cried.

Her father was standing by the window watching the whole scene. His heart hurt seeing his daughter and Chen in pain. He was never used to seeing his daughter cry because she always seemed so happy and now that her heart suddenly became worse without notice, he didn’t know how to react, but he knew how hurt she had felt. Instead, though, she was the one who was leaving this time and it wasn’t her losing someone… Yet.

Jae Kyung leaned back against her bedroom door as she looked at her empty bedroom in front of her. Everything was packed up and stuffed into a moving truck that was sitting outside of her house. She had been here all her life, but now she was leaving it in a couple of days. Seeing that there was nothing in front of her but memories, she felt her heart hurting. She didn’t want to leave and if she had a choice, she would have stayed, but she refused to leave her mother alone.

“I’m going to miss this…” She whispered as a tear escaped. “And everything else…”

She took one deep breath before she her heels and walked out of her room. Her steps down the stairs were slow and seemed a little dead, but it was only because she didn’t want to leave and every step made it harder and harder for her. When she got to the last step of the staircase, she couldn’t take it anymore – she started bawling. She couldn’t hold back the sadness that had been hanging over her shoulders. She knew that she was going to cry sooner or later, but she didn’t think it would be this early.

“Maybe we’re all having it harder than we thought, huh?” A voice spoke, making Jae Kyung look up to see who it was.

“Park Ji Min?” She wiped her tears as she hiccupped. “W-what are you doing here?”

“I came to check up on you.” He pressed his lips together awkwardly, knowing that he shouldn’t have been inside of her house, but he couldn’t help it; he really wanted to check up on her. “It doesn’t look like you’re okay.”

“Why does it have to be now?” Jae Kyung asked as she tried her hardest to breathe normally. “Is God testing us?”

“You can’t blame God for choosing certain paths for us; the world wasn’t made to be perfect, Han Jae Kyung.” Ji Min pouted his lips. “But who are we to complain?”

“I guess you’re right. How could I be so selfish?” She scoffed as a few tears started coming down again. “Choi Ga Eul has been having it the hardest, huh?”

“Along with Chen, if you might mention.” Ji Min added. “How do you think he’s feeling knowing that the one who he loves might not be here the next day?”

“And what about us? This whole time… We played it off, as if everything was okay, but now that it finally hit us, doesn’t it seem like we’re kind of selfish?” She looked down at her hands and fiddled with them.

“That’s what Ga Eul does to us; she makes us forget what’s really happening.” Ji Min chuckled at this. “She wants us to be happy so she lets us lean on her shoulders when really, she’s the one who needed ours.”

“Why does it seem like she was our child?” Jae Kyung asked with one side of her lip curling up.

“It’s because we were always watching over for her and yet, we just wanted the best for her so we didn’t prevent her from doing anything.”

“Have you talked to her yet?”

“I wanted to come get you first.”

“Why?”

“Just because we’re not dating anymore doesn’t mean we’re not friends.” Ji Min reassured her, even though in his heart, he really still loved her. “And we’re supposed to be there to support Ga Eul; we don’t matter as of now.”

“That kind of hurts my heart hearing you say that.” Jae Kyung forced a smile.

“Imagine how my heart had felt the day you broke up with me.” He laughed even though it hurt his heart recalling the memories. “I’m still sad to this day.”

“I am too.” She sighed. “Should we go?”

“Come on.” Ji Min let her go before him. “Let’s go be a crying mess with her.”

“Maybe we should bring toilet paper instead of tissue paper.” Jae Kyung joked. “It’ll probably last us longer.”

“Maybe.” Ji Min chuckled.

“What are we going to do?” Lu Han asked.

“We can’t tell him that everything’s going to be okay.” Xiu Min commented.

“But we can tell him to be positive about it.” Lay added.

They had been standing outside of Chen’s practice room for about half an hour now, watching their friend cry and cry – he looked hopeless. His friends wanted to go in there and comfort him, but for the first time, they didn’t know how to comfort him. When he got kicked out of his house, they gave him a roof to live under. When he had no food, they bought it for him. When he said he had dreams, they walked with them through every step together. Now that he has someone who he might lose because of a sickness, this was something they didn’t know how to cope with; they’ve never lost anyone like this.

“You know, this makes me wonder what’s really going through his mind right now.” Xiu Min spoke up after a few moments of silence. “He’s here crying, but what about Ga Eul? How is she feeling about it? She should be the one who’s hurt the most, right?”

Lu Han pursed his lips and nodded.

“What do you mean?” Lay asked confused.

“He’s trying to say that Ga Eul’s the one who needs comfort the most and Chen would be the best person for it and yet, he’s here crying on his own.” Lu Han translated for Lay.

Lay nodded his head. “Now what?”

Xiu Min shrugged. “He has to be strong for Ga Eul and if he’s not, who knows how weak Ga Eul is right now.”

“Then what are we going to do?” Lay asked.

“Nothing.” Lu Han commented.

“Why?” Lay’s eyes widened. “Why not?”

“Because who are we to tell him what to do?” Lu Han asked.

Ga Eul, Ji Min, and Jae Kyung were all sitting on the sidewalk in front of the beach together. They’ve been there for over an hour, listening to kids play, birds chirp as they fly over the water, and people walk by and talk. The three of them hadn’t said anything to each other since they got there. Ji Min, for one, wanted to speak to stop the silence from happening, but he didn’t know what to say to the two girls. Jae Kyung wanted to speak as well, but she was afraid that she would cry at any moment. Ga Eul, on the other hand, liked the silence. She liked that even though they weren’t talk, they were spending their last moments together.

“Jae Kyung.” Ga Eul decided to speak thinking about her friends.

Jae Kyung turned her head slowly, afraid that any movement or sound would urge her to cry.

“If you cry, I’ll freaking kill you.” Ga Eul wanted to lighten up the atmosphere since it felt a little too gloomy for her.

“I’m sorry.” Jae Kyung said as she burst out into tears. “I-I c-can’t help it.”

“How could you be so threatening at a time like this?” Ji Min chuckled as he reached over and patted Jae Kyung’s back. “Shouldn’t you be saying nice things to us?”

“I feel like I’ve been crying too much, you guys.” She sighed as she leaned back on her hands. “Do you know how it feels to be suffocated by your own tears three days in a freaking damn row?”

“You’re the worst, Ga Eul.” Jae Kyung shook her head and chuckled. “How could you be making a joke out of this?”

“Because when I leave for my heart surgery, I want to know that my best friends are happy and will always be happy.”

“You’re getting your heart transplant?” Ji Min stopped patting Jae Kyung’s back and sat straighter up.

“Are you serious?!” Jae Kyung suddenly stopped crying.

Ga Eul pressed her lips together and nodded her head as she looked at the water coming in ahead of them.

“H-how d-did y-you… H-how c-come…” Ji Min stopped talking and looked at Ga Eul with his mouth practically hanging off of his face.

“Yah.” Jae Kyung closed his mouth for him. “If you open it any wider, you’ll swallow a bird.”

“T-that means you’re leaving soon…” Ji Min slapped Jae Kyung’s hands away from him.

“I’m leaving tomorrow… Midnight…” Ga Eul whispered, as if she was out of breath.

“I leave the day after that…” Jae Kyung commented. “How could you leave so early?”

“Why? Did you want me to see you off instead?” She asked looking over at her best friend.

“Of course.” Jae Kyung smirked.

“Yah.” Ji Min glared at the two girls.

Both Ga Eul and Jae Kyung chuckled as they hit the back of Ji Min’s head together.

“Yah!” He rubbed his head as he growled at the girls. “What the hell!”

“You know, it’s been so long since I’ve done that!” Jae Kyung laughed.

“That’s because you started dating him.” Ga Eul commented. “Now that the two of you aren’t together…”

“Yah. Yah.” Ji Min pointed at the girls. “I already told you that I was still sad about the break so let’s not bring it up.”

The girls both chuckled.

“Let’s do something tomorrow for your last day, Ga Eul.” Jae Kyung said as she wrapped her arms around her knees.

“We’re going to school.” Ga Eul said rolling her eyes.

“What? You’ve got to be kidding me.” Ji Min glared at her. “Come on.”

“You’ve haven’t been at school anyways!” Jae Kyung said.

“That’s because I’m busy trying to be an idol!” He retorted.

“Will I get to see you debut, Ji Min?” Ga Eul asked as she squeezed one of Ji Min’s shoulders.

“Will you?” Ji Min suddenly felt distressed again.

“I’m going to make sure I do.” Ga Eul bit her lip as she felt her heart aching inside of her chest. “No matter where I am, I’ll see it.”

And just like that, the three best friends sat there in silence again. It didn’t matter if they didn’t speak to each other anymore; they all knew what they were thinking and that’s why they were friends. Ga Eul knew Jae Kyung was probably going to start crying again, Ji Min knew that Ga Eul was probably trying to stay positive for them, and Jae Kyung knew that Ji Min was trying hard not to bring up the fact that they’re all too quiet.

*A/N: It's getting harder and harder to write. I'm sorry if this was a disappointing chapter. Please read and comment. I'd love to hear about your opinions, so please don't be a silent reader. Thank you and read with lots of love! Keke~! Muah