Chapter 12

"Did you just take a picture of me?"

I stared at Chen and bit my lip before taking the polaroid picture that just had came out from the camera itself. I waved it in the air and looked away from him, hoping that he wouldn't think I actually took a picture. Just as the picture was showing up, the picture was pulled out from my hands. I looked over to see that Chen had just taken the picture away from me and was looking at it as if I've done something wrong or as if he was a celebrity and he didn't want his picture taken. I was kind of taken aback by how meanly he had done so, but I still couldn't blame him either.

"Why did you take a picture?" He asked looking at the picture that had finally showed up.

"It... It was an accident." I wasn't lying. I didn't mean to take a picture of him. My finger kind of slipped when I saw him and it happend to take a picture at the time. What was I supposed to say? "I'm sorry..." I guess that works, right?

He suddenly crushed the picture into his hand, making my eyes bulge out of its sockets.

"What are you doing?!" I asked still in shock.

Chen threw the picture onto the ground and stepped on it. "Don't take pictures of me."

When he stepped off the picture, I walked over and picked the picture up and straightened it out. He watched as I looked at the picture and tried to make it so on the wrinkles were out, but it was no use. I looked up at Chen, kind of upset that he would do such a thing. I understand that he was getting "violated" with his privacy, but he didn't have to ruin a picture that I had just taken. I don't know why something like this really bothered me at the same time either. What the heck was going on with my mind?

"What are you doing?" Chen asked about to take the picture away from me again, but I stepped out of his reach. "Are you really going to keep that?"

"Why not?" I rolled my eyes and put it into my bag after a failed attempt of trying to straighten it out.

"Give it to me." He held his hand out in front of me.

"No." I crossed my arms and stared at him. "You're just going to throw it out."

"Why would you want to keep a picture of me?"

"Why wouldn't I?" I suddenly turned red, not thinking about what I had just said. I pretended to cough to make things less awkward, but I think I made it even worse for myself.

He suddenly scoffed.

"What?" I tried to brush off the fact that I was embarrassed.

"You're not what people say you are." He shook his head.

"What are you talking about? What do people say about me?" I eyed him.

"Nothing I would believe." Chen picked his skateboard up and stepped onto the sand.

I took this as a chance to get another picture of him. I quickly took another picture of him as he was staring off into the distance and grabbed the picture and turned away before he had noticed. The picture was just showing up and just as I thought I was going to get it, the picture was taken out of my hands again. This was starting to get a little frustrating, and I'm sure Chen was even more frustrated than I was. I quickly turned around and looked over at him, but this time, Chen glaring at me. He looked at the picture and then back at me, making me feel more awkward than before. I knew I was going to get it. I thought I was slick - guess not.

"Why are you taking pictures of me?!" Chen scrunched the picture again but more frustratedly this time. I seriously was going to blow up soon since he was wasting my polaroid film, but then again, like I said earlier, I couldn't blame him for his actions. I once again violated his privacy.

"Stop it!" I tried to grab the picture, but he held it above his head and out of my reach. "Chen, give it back!"

Chen smirked at me, making me stop breathing for a second. This was the first time that I've seen him close to a smile and my heart literally dropped down. My hand fell down to my side and I couldn't help but just stare at him as if he was the most handsome guy I've ever encountered. I know it sounds a little cheesy, but I'm serious. I've always said that Chen was good looking and the fact that he just smiled made it ten times more true. I don't know what had gotten into me, but my heart was now racing and I felt my face turning red.

I quickly turned around and fanned myself as I tried to calm my breathing as quickly as possible. What was wrong with me? This was such a weird feeling; I've never even had this when I was with Seung Ho, but was this feeling a good feeling or was it... A bad feeling? No, it can't be a bad feeling. There's no way that this is what a bad feeling was. I shook my head and started to walk off. I had to contain myself so I started to walk away to cool myself down. I couldn't bear this embarrassment any longer.

"Where are you going?" He asked, surprsing me.

I was kind of caught off guard at the fact that he had spoken to me again, but even more caught off guard that he just asked me where I was going, as if he didn't want me to leave. I stopped walking and turned back to look at him. He... He was following me? Chen... Chen was actually following me... like a lost little puppy. That weird feeling that I was just having earlier happened to me again. I looked away from his eyes, trying to avoid any eye contact to contain myself. My eyes rested on his hands that were still holding onto the picture. I quickly grabbed it, but instead of getting the picture, I was holding onto his hand since he had a firm grip on the picture.

"Oh? You want to hold my hand?" Chen suddenly spread out his hand letting the picture fall out and now our hands were intact.

"Wha-what?!" I let go of his hand and stepped back from him. I was seriously surprised by how he had just reacted to me. This was a total change of character and I definitely wasn't ready for it.

"That's how I feel when you take pictures of me." He rolled his eyes at me, as if he was more annoyed than before.

"Yah! Taking a picture of you and you holding my hand are two different kinds of feelings!" I retorted.

"How so?" Chen asked as he tilted his head to look as if he was interested or something.

Well, to start off with, there was no way his heart fluttered by me taking a picture of him like the way my heart did when he held my hand- Oh my god. Did I just... I don't know if I was going a little crazy in the head today or not, but I just heard myself, well in my thoughts, that my heart had fluttered. My eyes suddenly widened and I had to mentally hit myself for thinking this way. Wait. Wait. Why should I mentally hit myself? Isn't this something normal? It's okay to feel this way, right? Wait. No. It's not. Seung Ho. Oh no.

Okay. Wait. Was... Was this even okay for me to do? I mean, here I am, standing in front of Chen. Was this normal for me to be like this? I guess I kind of had to admit, I've waiting this whole week to end so I could come here on Saturday... What is wrong with me? I like Yoo Seung Ho. I like Yoo Seung Ho. I like Yoo Seung Ho. I'm also going to go out on a dinner date with him and his parents sometime soon. I shouldn't be here. This isn't right, right? I mean, well, I can't say either because... Well, Chen and I aren't friends...

I can't think straight right now.

"Are you okay?"

I looked up immediately hearing those words. I don't know why, but hearing those same exact three words coming from Chen really made my heart flutter a little inside. Why? I couldn't really explain the feeling of how it made me feel when I heard it, but these words can't just be said by anyone; it had to be said by Chen, Kim Jong Dae himself. What the heck. How do I remember his real name? I bet he didn't even know that I knew his real name. I kind of sound like a stalker now that I think about it...

"Ga Eul...?"

"Sorry... I..." I shook my head trying to shake out my thoughts. "Sorry..."

"You like to apologize a lot, don't you?" He shook his head.

"Wha-what?" I didn't even realize that I had apologized to Chen a lot.

"Are you feeling okay?" Chen suddenly reached out and touched my forehead.

If there was one thing I learned about Chen within this hour or so, it was the fact that Chen seemed to have all different kinds of personality and they changed quickly. He went from being cold and stubborn, to mean, to teasing me, and now to being kind. I had no idea how to react to any of this at all. Do I just stand there and let him touch my forehead or do I step back and tell him his place? I guess I shouldn't be mean since, well, I wasn't that kind of person to tell people off. I let him touch my forehead.

"You're kind of warm. Are you sick?" He asked after putting his hand down his side again.

"No, I'm fine." I cupped my face with my hands to feel my warmth. "It's just... It's just kind of hot out here."

I looked back down at the ground and saw the picture that he had crumpled up earlier. I bent down and picked it up. I sat down on the pavement as I straightened the picture out once again. I could feel Chen staring down at me and I'm sure he was wondering why I was doing this again. As I looked at the picture and admired my own photography, Chen finally sat down beside me and looked ahead at the water tides that were happening in front of us. I placed the picture into my bag and turned to look at Chen; he was still focused on the water.

"Why are you looking at me?" Chen asked after a few moments of silence. "Are you going to take a picture again?"

"Can I?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around my knees.

"Why would you want a picture of me?"

"Memories."

"Memories?" He looked over at me. "Why? We're not even... We're not-"

"Friends. I know." I pressed my lips together and let out a sigh. "But memories could be made by anyone, right?"

"Why would you want to make memories with me?" He asked, still staring at me.

"Because." I had no other way to say it.

"Because?"

"Don't you want to remember things?" I wonder what was going on through his mind right now.

"We have our memories in our heads for that." He said vaguely.

"You don't want to see them again?"

"We can see that in our minds."

"But isn't it better to see it in a picture? To let you see everything in there that you missed? Like the little details?"

"I think sometimes, you don't want to be reminded of those memories; seeing pictures could hurt you."

When Chen had suddenly said this, I felt like my heart was aching a little from his words. I wonder what made his feel this way or think that all memories could hurt him or that some could if it was brought up again. I had to look over him, out of curiousity, just to see what his expression would say. Chen kind of looked sad and hurt, as if talking about this brought back a memory he didn't want to be reminded of. 

"I'm sorry." I suddenly said, not even realizing that I had apologized once again.

"You didn't do anything wrong." His voice sounded so soft. "You don't have to apologize."

"I felt like I brought something up that shouldn't have been talked about." I started to fiddle with my fingers.

I thought he would have replied to what I had said, but we sat there in silence. I was starting to hate this thing called silence that happened between the two of us often. I ran a hand through my hair as the wind picked up and looked down at my hands.

"You've never really answered my questions before, did you know that?" I said as I .

"I didn't know how to answer you."

"Then do you know how to answer me now?"

He scoffed.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked as I bit my bottom lip eagerly.

He looked over at me and nodded.

"Why are you so quiet at school?"

He looked down at his hands and bit his lip.

"Oh... Uh. If it's a personal problem, you don't-"

"Because everyone at school always pretends to be someone they're not." Chen pressed his smile and looked over at me. "I don't want to get involved with someone who tries to be my friend, but then leaves me later and pretends as if we never knew each other."

"What... What do you mean leaves you later?" I asked curiously.

"They leave without an explanation just as we're getting close..." He heaved a sigh. "The only one's who haven't done that were my friends now; Xiumin, Lay, and Lu Han. We're kind of all alike... I guess that's why we're all friends."

I really wasn't expecting to hear that out of all the things I was thinking about. The least I could think about is that he just doesn't want to socialize, which is kind of true, but I thought it could have been something else, not because he was afraid of people leaving him. It made me think twice about what was happening right now. I told myself that I wouldn't make anymore friends and he was telling me now that he hated that when people were just becoming his friend, they leave.

"I'm sorry..." I heard myself say once again.

"If you apologize one more time, I'm really going to make you sorry." Chen glared over at me.

I scoffed. "Chen?"

"Mmm?"

"Did you want to go watch a movie?"

**A/N: & finally, we have Chen appear after a few chapters of not having him! Lol. But... This past weekend really took a toll on me. I'm beyond tired and my mind won't work with me. It'll take me a few days to regenerate so be patient with me as I try to update faster and make the chapters better (if that is even possible). Enjoy the update! Please read and comment. I'd love to hear about your opinions, so please don't be a silent reader. Thank you and read with lots of love! Keke~! Muah