Violet

Once Kai releases his handbrake and sets free to his gear, I try to open the door immediately but my effort end in vain. He locks the door the moment I want to open it and as expected, he’s quicker than me. I roll my eyes and slump in my seat. I watch the school compound in front of us and see other kids are starting to arrive.

“Are you seriously not going to talk to me at all?” Kai asks and then I turn my head to the window, not in the mood to talk, or to even look at him. I keep quiet and he tap his fingers on the steering while waiting for my answer. Then, he heaves a sigh.

“Fine, if you don’t want come to the beach house this weekend, then you don’t have to. I’m not going too.” He says and then I turn my head at him.

“Why, Kai?” I ask.

“Why what?” Kai asks back. Why are you doing this to me? Why do you try so hard to make it look like you care? Why does it feel like everything you say is real? Why does it hurt?

“Why are you not going?”

“Because….. I’m not going to go and enjoy myself while my girlfriend is here and mad at me.” He says, which make me hate him even more. Why does he always say things like this? He pushes me right to the edge, trying to make me fall for him and I have to do all the work getting away from that edge, to keep my sanity under control, reality in check. But sometimes, I fail. No, a lot of time, I fail. I fall.

“I’ll think about it.” I slowly says, with intention to end all of this madness and then he shakes his head.

“You don’t have to. I don’t want to go through a week having you not talking to me. If you’re so mad about it, then let’s just forget it.” Kai says. There he goes again, sounding like he cares. Damn it.

“I’m not mad because of that, I’m mad because you talked to my mom without me knowing.” I tell him.

“I told you, it wasn’t me. Your mom was there when I arrived…..” He defends himself.

“Okay okay..... I know, and I’m sorry for throwing tantrum like that.” I say, honestly, I’m in no mood to prolong this argument. He breathes out and then leans against his chair.

“Forgiven.” He speaks.

One of our teacher didn’t make it to the school that day, so Kim takes this opportunity to talk to me about Kai. We talk in the slowest volume we can, and sometimes steal glances at Amy and Hyo Ri who are sitting across the classroom.

“So you’re saying you’re falling for him?” She asks me.

“It’s not like I’m falling for him, falling for him like that. It’s just that, I find it hard to remind myself that all he tells me is a lie and sometimes, they sounds real. I’m going crazy, seriously.” I explain to Kim. She nods and takes a few second to reply.

“So, are you like, you know, like him now?” She asks again. I heave a sigh.

“I don’t know, I think I’ve liked him more than I should. And it’s bad, because I know he don’t like me a bit, he’s just doing this for his bet.” I speak.

“And what angered me the most is that this morning, he talked to my mom. So now my mom knows him as my boyfriend.” I say and Kim widens her eyes at this.

“Oh God, this is trouble.” Kim says and I nod immediately.

“You never introduce a boy to your parents and the first one your mom knew now is your fake boyfriend. You’ve been cursed, V.” She says and I roll my eyes like I didn’t know that already.

“And, he asked my mom to bring me to Busan this weekend. It’s Chen’s birthday, they’re having small party and barbecue by the beach. Kai asked me to inivite you too.” I tell Kim.

“He asked your mom’s permission to bring you on a trip?! Wow, he sure sounds like a boyfriend.” She speaks.

“That’s why! I hate him, he’s been taking this whole relationship more serious than he should.” I mutter under my breath.

“No, you hate him because you like him, V.” She pats my shoulder.

******************

Nothing actually interesting happens at lunch. I and Kim sit on Kai’s table but I barely speak any words to him. When school ends, I walk straight to the debate room, it’s Tuesday. It’s club meeting day.

Upon my arrival, I see few teachers in the room. That’s weird, the teachers rarely join our meeting, only on special occasion. Then I remember, hah they’re announcing the selected team to represent our school for the debate competition. I take my seat and once I am seated on my chair, my eyes meet Kris’. He nods and smiles at me. I reciprocate.

The tense I’m feeling for Kris has easen up a bit. Since the day Kai told me he have a girlfriend I’ve been feeling awkward around him. But after my mind is preocuppied with my confusion and mixed feeling for Kai, I forgot about Kris for a while. That, I’m not sure if I should feel grateful about. Of course I’m happy I’m not dwelling on the fact that Kris have a girlfriend, but now I’m mired in a harder situation, Kai.

One of the teacher begins the meeting. She starts off with simple greetings and stuff. She then goes straight to the point and announce the selected team. She announces the name and I have to pinch my hips to check if this is real. Because seriously, I heard Kris’ name is being mentioned and then Choi Young Do, and then Lee Bo Na, and then Violet Lee. Holy , we’re selected.

Just when I thought I can get with over my crisis with Kris, it comes back slapping hard on the face.

Only the selected debaters stay, the rest are dimissed. The teacher explains the intensive training we’re going to have, and I don’t like the sound of it. Training every evening after the school ends, from Tuesday until Thursday. That means only Monday and Friday is unaffected. I sigh mentally, thinking of my leisure time that have been snatched away and my freedom that have been violated. Remind me again why I join this on the first place? Oh yeah, cocuricullar marks.

But then again I realise I now hav