Word count: 1024

♥

Acquaintances. Friends. Lovers.

I have a best friend, his name is Kim Minseok. He is a very nice guy whose cheeks are shaped just like a steamed bun’s. We have enough confidence with each other to say what’s bothering us and we can go cool off some steam by playing some soccer, eating some ice cream, and going shopping together. Maybe he has always been like the big brother I never had, a guy I looked up to and interacted with. I’m his best friend; I listen to his complaints, give him useless advice, comfort him, and laugh with him.

He is my best friend, but lately I don’t know if I am his as well. Perhaps not.

When Minseok was feeling down, I would comfort him and make the only dish I could make for him. If he was happy, I would be happy; if he was sad, I would be sad. Whatever he felt, I felt, I was that good of a friend.

It’s so nice to have an indispensable friend.

Sometimes he would call me at midnight because he couldn’t fall asleep and I would stay up talking to him until he fell asleep or leave my apartment and buy him some food and spend the night at his place, taking care of him until he got his good rest. I would tuck him in and tell him stories, pat his back to remind him that I was there. Always there.

That indispensable friend was me.

A couple of months after, the calls stopped, the meetings, the going outs for soccer and ice cream. It’s as if I stopped existing. Why? What did I do wrong?

Every pair of best friends has their fights.

I was always so focused on taking care of him that I never had anyone to care for me. I was always looking after Minseok and my life felt so empty without him around. A little routine had formed in my head and in my heart.

Routines are boring but you gave them a meaning.

During the cuddles and the silly fights, the arguments over whom cheated the last goal, I fell for him. Luhan fell in love with his best friend. How predictable. How sappy. How unreal.

Do you miss me? I do. I miss how you relate everything to food.

Walking home from work, I saw you again. I never believed in that “heartbreaking feeling when you see that person with someone else” until I saw Minseok with a man around his height. Jet black hair that rested at his forehead, even their features were similar. I even dared going closer to say hi, maybe he had gotten too busy to contact me. Yeah, that was probably it.

It’s so selfish to want what you never had. Want something that was never yours to begin with.

My hopes crumbled. This poor, beating heart tore apart. This man was called Kim Joonmyeon and he was Minseok’s boyfriend. He was too busy spending time with him that he never got time to be with me. What happened to bros before hoes? This was so unfair; he was the only friend I had.

Kim Joonmyeon stole Minseok from me.

Perhaps the universe just doesn’t like me. Why do you like him instead of me? Because he’s rich? Because of maturity? I’m older than him anyways. What do I have to change to make you love me again? Tell me, and I will. I would do anything to have you back, to have you as my friend again.

I don’t want to make Joonmyeon my enemy.

You don’t even have that much in common, only that you’re both “Kim” and are Korean. He’s obsessed with vitamins, and you could care less about them. He likes golf, you like soccer. He’s refined, you aren’t. He’d rather have lobster over burgers. Wake up, you have nothing in common with each other. But look at me, I like soccer, burgers, and you can be yourself around me, I won’t judge you. I’ll stay, he may not.

Universe, give him back. I need my friend.

I did partly get my friend back, but he was always with his boyfriend. He practically ignored me whenever Joonmyeon was around. This is not fair.

Please don’t do this to me.

Look at him, Minseok. He’s mocking me, showing you off and flaunting you in front of me. I don’t care if I can’t have you romantically; I just want my best friend back, baozi. I miss watching soccer games with you; can’t I at least have that? My health is even decreasing.

I was always there when you needed me. Return the favor and aid me, I need you now.

Minseok, I was put in the hospital because I was too sad to eat. Won’t you come see me? I went to see you when you were in my position. Baozi, help out your friend, he can’t move on, he’s stuck. Min, it hurts. Ease the pain.

Something help heal this pain because this is simply not fair.

I need you, I never realized it, but I do. Maybe one day, you’ll sort out your priorities and find me again. I’ll always be here waiting anyways. Hopefully we will go back to being the great friends we used to be. Used to be.

Friendship is a lot like raindrops. It falls from the cloud and eventually goes back to it.

Maybe what one needs in life to move on is a little push and maybe some pain. To realize something, you need to suffer. I have suffered enough and Minseok doesn’t need me anymore. He has Joonmyeon now.

Writing letters is so clichéd.

Minseok. Please be very happy with Joonmyeon, I won’t get in the way. I hope he makes you really happy and that he protects you like he always promised he would. I hope he holds you when you cry and can’t sleep, that he makes you food and cheers you up. I’m stronger now; I’m a big boy now. But don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.

Signed, Lu Han.

Well, there you have it. This is my usual writing style, the other story I have here was just a pilot. Um, yeah, I hope I didn't disappoint anyone (this was born last night at like 10 PM--). Comment, like, etc.

Ja!