Dear Luhan,

You are invited to my cowboy birthday party on Saturday at my house. It is at three in the afternoon. I have cake and ice cream and cowboy games. Please wear cowboy clothes. And bring a gift.

Sehun

Dear Sehun,

Thank you for inviting me to your birthday party on Saturday. I will be there at four because I have to watch a soccer match  on TV at three. I will bring a gift but I will not wear cowboy clothes.

And you should call me hyung.

Luhan

Dear Luhan,

You need to come at three. I will lock the door if you do not come at three.

Sehun

 

Dear Sehun,

Then I won't go at all. Your eight year old party is stupid.

Luhan

 

Dear Mrs. Oh,

Thank you for inviting my son, Luhan, to Sehun's birthday party and I am so sorry for whatever he has said to Sehun about it. I'm sure he didn't mean that his party is "stupid". As a twelve year old boy, I assure you Luhan is quite mature for his age to be saying that.

Please tell Sehun that Luhan will be there at three pm sharp on Saturday in a cowboy attire. And yes, he will bring a gift.

Thank you.

Mrs. Lu

 

Dear Luhan,

Thank you for coming to my birthday party yesterday. You left your cowboy hat in my living room. I will bring it tomorrow at school to return to you.

Thank you for the gift. I do not know how to play soccer but I will play with the ball everyday.

Thank you.

Sehun

 

Hey, Luhan. Who was the pipsqueak with the cowboy hat visiting you in the middle of science class? Your booooyfrieeeend? Hihihi.

Minseok

Shut up. He is just my next door neighbor. I went to his birthday party last Saturday. It was a cowboy party. I left my hat in his living room.

And stop passing me notes. I'm trying to copy Yifan's test.

Luhan

He is still your boooooyfriiiieeend.

What's the answer to number 12?

Minseok

 

Sehun,

You didn't have to bring me the hat. Stop going to the 6th grade area. You are embarrassing me.

And you're still not calling me hyung.

Luhan

Luhan,

Why am I embarrassing you?

Sehun

Sehun,

Because I am a 6th grader. You are a 2nd grader. We can't be friends.

Luhan

 

Luhan,

Then what grade should I be in so I can be your friend?

Sehun

Sehun,

100th grade

Luhan

 

Dear Parent(s)/(Guardian(s),

My name is Ahn Chil Hyun and your son, Oh Sehun, is in my 2nd grade Math class.

Over the past few days we have been noticing some notes being passed in between classes by your son and a 6th grader which disrupts my class and Ms. Kwon Boa's Science class as well. We have given out warnings for both boys but this has been ignored countless times.

We wish to schedule a meeting with you to discuss more about your son's behavior.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Sincerely,

Ahn Chil Hyun
E Elementary School

Dear Parent(s)/(Guardian(s),

My name is Kwon Boa and your son, Luhan, is in my 6th grade Science class.

Over the past few days we have been noticing some notes being passed in between classes by your son and a 2nd grader which disrupts my class and Mr. Ahn Chil Hyun's Math class as well. We have given out warnings for both boys but this has been ignored countless times.

We wish to schedule a meeting with you to discuss more about your son's behavior.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Sincerely,

Kwon Boa
E Elementary School

 

This is your fault why we're in detention.

Luhan

This is all your fault for saying I'm embarrassing.

And for leaving your cowboy hat in my house.

Sehun

Stop replying. You'll get us into more trouble.

And what did I say about the hyung?

Luhan

Okay

Sehun

Dear Minseok,

You are invited to my 10th birthday party on Sunday at my house. It is at three in the afternoon. I have pizza and popcorn. Please bring a gift.

Sehun

 

Why am I invited to pipsqueak's birthday?

Minseok

He likes hanging out with us.

And wait, why am I not invited to his birthday?

Luhan

You are no longer his booooooyfrieeeend.

Minseok

He was never my boyfriend. He's just my -

 

Dear Parent(s)/(Guardian(s),

My name is Kim Min Jung and your son, Luhan, is in my 2nd year History class.

We would like to invite you over for a parent-teacher meeting regarding your son's behavior. He was caught passing notes with another student while the class is going on. They will receive disciplinary action: an hour in detention after the dismissal bell for the last class rings.

We wish to schedule a meeting with you to discuss more about your son's behavior.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Sincerely,

Kim Min Jung
X Middle School

 

Sehun,

Why am I not invited to your birthday?

Luhan

Luhan,

I sent you an invitation a week ago.

Sehun

Sehun,

I did not receive any. You are the worst friend ever. I don't want to be friends with you anymore.

Luhan

 

Luhan,

Honey, please check if we have any milk left. I'm going to the grocery this afternoon.

And there's a letter for you. I stuck it on the refrigerator with the strawberry magnets. Did you see it? It's been there for a whole week.

Love,
Mom

 

Sehun,

Minseok and I will be there at three.

Luhan

 

Pipsqueek,

Thanks for inviting me to your party. Luhan and I had fun. Hope that kid Jongin doesn't tell his mom on us for making him cry. Tell him Luhan and I didn't mean to get popcorn stuck in his hair.

Minseok

 

Sleepover at my house this weekend? I rented Space Cowboys Episode five and six.

Luhan

Awesome! I’ll bring my cowboy hat!

Sehun

 

Dear Parent(s)/Guardian(s),

Here at E Elementary School, we offer the best services our facility has to our young bright students. It is our mission to train them in preparation for Middle School and High School and we take pride in being number two in all of the private elementary schools in South Korea.

In line with this, we are pleased to inform you that your son, Oh Sehun, has progressed immensely in the subject of Mathematics, Arts, Science and History and we have accelerated him to a higher level. We have given him the proper tests and academic acceleration modules he needs for the next level.

We would like to talk to you more about this matter to further brief you on Sehun's new position. Please reply with a time and date most convenient for you.

Thank you and congratulations.

Sincerely,

Shin Dong Yup
Principal
E Elementary School

 

Dear Sehun,

Congratulations to you and Jongin for skipping a year. Heard you two passed X Middle School. You better be cool enough for Minseok and I to say hi to you guys in the hallways.

Luhan

 

Why are you in detention?

- Sehun

Got caught bringing new phone at class. Stupid class president Yifan and his loud mouth.

- Luhan

Want me to get back at him for you? Jongin and I are bored.

- Sehun

Sure.

- Luhan

 

Dear Parent(s)/(Guardian(s),

We would like to inform you that your son, Oh Sehun, was caught
dumping garbage inside a student's locker at five in the afternoon.

We wish to schedule a meeting with you to discuss about your son's behavior.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Sincerely,

Kim Yoo Jin
Guidance Counselor
X Middle School

 

Great now we're both stuck in detention.

- Luhan

At least you're not alone.

- Sehun

What are you guys talking about?

- Jongin

 

Dear Sehun,

Happy 13th Birthday!

And because you're now a teenager, you are now allowed to have your own phone.

Enjoy this new piece of technology!

Love,

Mom and Dad

 

To: Luhan

I love you Luhan! You're the most handsome man in the entire universe. I want to marry you! Kiss Kiss Smooooooch. - Your secret admirer

From: Unknown Number

To: Unknown Number

Sehun, I know it's you.

From: Luhan

To: Luhan

Awww.

From: Sehun

 

To: Luhan

How do you transfer videos to a phone?

From Sehun

To: Sehun

You're supposed to be smart. Hold on. I'll come over.

From: Luhan

 

To: Luhan

What the did you put in here? I have no space for anything else.

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

Hehehe. Enjoy.

From: Luhan

 

Dear Mrs. Oh,

I am very sorry for what Luhan has done to Sehun's phone. As a mother, I am very embarrassed to know that it was my son who gave all those ographic materials to Sehun and I assure you that Luhan will be given the proper disciplinary action for this.

By the way, have you seen Mrs. Kim's dress last Sunday? Awful, wasn't it? We’ll talk about it on the next poker game.

Mrs. Lu

 

Luhan,

I can't believe we're back to this. If you hadn't put those stuff in there, my phone wouldn't have been confiscated and we wouldn't be communicating through paper again. My hand hurts and now my mom keeps on peeking through my door to see if I'm doing anything "bad".

Jongin enjoyed those videos by the way. He says thanks.

Sehun

Sehun,

I regret nothing.

Well, maybe except seeing my dad take my soccer ball away and seeing my mom use my phone now.

Your mom will get over it. My mom did.

Tell Jongin you're welcome. At least he knows where to keep his phone
around the house.

Still up for that soccer match on Friday?

Luhan

Luhan,

Can't. I have exams next week.

I know, you'll say "ditch" but I really can't this time. I'm graduating this year and if I can't pass this I won't be able to get into your high school.

Sehun

Sehun,

Fine.

But you do know that when you'll enter O High School Minseok and I have already graduated?

Luhan

 

Dear Parent(s)/Guardian(s)

It has come to our attention that your son, Oh Sehun, has skipped the last period of his class last Friday claiming to have a "stomach ache" and had to go to the clinic. But it was reported to us by a reliable source that around three pm, the time where Sehun should be in the clinic if he indeed had a "stomach ache", he was seen playing in the soccer field with a few seniors from O High School.

We would like to meet with you to talk about the necessary sanctions
we are about to impose.

Sincerely,

Kim Yoo Jin
Guidance Counselor
X Middle School

 

Minseok,

Can't get out of the house. Grounded. Like it was my fault Sehun ditched class. Stupid Yifan blabbering about it to Sehun's teacher. What is he doing, picking on someone from a different school.

I miss the field.

Luhan

Luhan,

Don't worry about it. I changed Yifan's key code on his locker to get back at him. The school custodian had to pry it open. You should've seen the look on President Wu "I'm so perfect" Yifan's face when they destroyed his most prized golden
one-of-a-kind-because-my-mother-bought-it-for-me-in-Paris stupid looking lock.

Tell Sehun vengeance is served and we shall conquer everything once more.

Minseok

Minseok,

Thanks man. You're the best.

And you talk weird. Stop playing video games.

Luhan

 

To: Luhan

Thank God you got your phone back. Writing on paper .

Want to go to the arcade tomorrow?

From: Minseok

To: Minseok

It's Sehun's graduation tomorrow. We're having dinner with his folks.

From: Luhan

To: Luhan

Congratulate him for me.

How the hell did he graduate with the amount of classes he missed?

From: Minseok

To: Minseok

He's a gifted child, that one. He and Jongin.

From: Luhan

 

To: Luhan

Got my phone back! Graduation present and all.

I'm going to the mall tomorrow to buy some clothes for school. Come with me.

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

You're 14 years old and you still need me to go around with you? And what do you need new clothes for? You'll be wearing a uniform everyday.

But okay. I need a bow tie for the dance. Ugh.

From: Luhan

To: Luhan

We don't get to wear the uniforms every Friday. New high school rule ever since you and Minseok started it last year and the Principal just gave up on strictly imposing the "Please wear your uniforms on Friday for the love of God it's just one day more before the weekend."

Oh right. The end of the year dance for seniors.

Do you have a date?

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

No. I don't need one. Minseok and I are going dateless. Who needs girls anyway? All we need is booze to spice up the punch tomorrow and we're going to be okay.

From: Luhan

To: Luhan

You should've brought Sooyoung. Or Yoona. It's no secret that those two have a crush on you.

I take it this is Minseok hyung's idea for bringing the booze?

From: Sehun

To: Luhan

Naaah. Those girls are too giggly. I'm fine without a date.

The booze was both our idea. I'm cool enough to think of it too you know.

And why do you call Minseok "hyung" but not me?

From: Luhan

 

To: Luhan

Have fun at the dance! Dad and I will pick you up at nine. Enjoy!

From: Mom

To: Mom

Thanks Mom. But it's okay. I'm sleeping over at Minseok's tonight. His mom said it was okay.

From: Luhan

To: Mom

Hi Mom. I'm sleeping over at Luhan's tonight so you don't have to pick me up. His mom said it was okay.

From: Minseok

To: Minseok

Let’s parteeeey!

From: Luhan

To: Luhan

Where are you? Ms. Kim is gone from the punch bowl.

From: Minseok

To: Minseok

Coming. Just bought a few more vodka.

From: Luhan

 

To: Luhan

How's the dance going?

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

ajhdtejodiuyhenj jdyueoeu ydhsn

From: Luhan

To: Luhan

Are you drunk?

From: Sehun

 

Dear Principal Lee Soo Man,

I would like to report an incident that happened at around 8:15 in the evening at the senior year dance. Please see the photos I have included in this letter.

Thank you.

Wu Yifan
Senior Class President

 

To: Yoona

Omg have you seen?

From: Sooyoung

To: Sooyoung

Girl, you liked him first.

From: Yoona

 

To: Luhan

Pick up the phone.

From: Sehun

To: Luhan

Luhan I will not stop calling you until you pick up the phone.

From: Sehun

To: Luhan

I'm coming over.

From: Sehun

To: Luhan

Your mom said you're not allowed to see anyone at all for now. Can you sneak out? I'm in your backyard.

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

Hi Sehun, this is Luhan's mom. I have his phone with me right now so it's no use trying to contact him. He's grounded and I suggest you return to your house before I tell your mother you're in my backyard trying to sneak into Luhan's room.

From: Luhan

 

Dear Luhan,

I'm sorry if I'm about to break your window. This is the only way I know how to get this letter across. I hope your mom won't find out this time.

Anyway, I saw the photos. That er Yifan really needs to get off yours and Minseok hyung's back. I can't believe the principal didn't even believe him when he said he wasn't the one who posted it on the school bulletin board for everyone to see. He was the only one who had the copy to those!

Look, if you're ashamed, don't be. I don't care. You're still my friend. You and Minseok hyung. I don't care if you guys were caught making out in the first year classroom although I hope that's not the classroom I'll be assigned to next year. Don't want yours and Minseok hyung's cooties all up in my desk.

But seriously though, I don't care! I don't care if the whole school is talking about you and Minseok now. I don't care if you're gay! I don't care if you like boys because girls are too giggly. You're still my best friend so please please talk to me. I'm worried about you.

And you better write me a long letter too. My wrist hurts.

Sehun

Dear Sehun,

You're so whiny. You could've just typed that letter up in your dad's computer.

And nice job wrapping your letter around a rock. But not cool though you almost hit my head. The window did break but don't worry about it. My mom thought I was sneaking out and grounded me again until "forever". But she didn't see your letter. And the rock. It's still here by the way. I hope I don't break anything either when I send this back to you.

Sehun, I'm not gay. It was the punch. We didn't think it would taste that good and before we knew it, we were drinking everything up. Minseok and I were so drunk I don't even remember much of it. I don't even remember getting out of there and into the classrooms. Hell, I don't even remember kissing Minseok. If the school board hadn't visited my house the next day and showed those pictures to my parents,
I wouldn't even believe it happened. Yifan though. I hate him. I hope he chokes while he's eating chicken.

I'm not gay. Or, I don't think I am. I don't know. To be honest, I'm so confused right now. Did you know that when my mom showed me those pictures, her face all red from anger and my dad seething beside her, all I can think about is how kissing a boy didn't seem weird to me at all? I just stared at it and thought hey, Minseok and I look good together. Not that I like Minseok in that way. I don't think I can like him that way. He's one of my best friends. Like a brother.

Point is, I don't know if I'm gay. And if I am, I don't really care. I'm not ashamed of it either. And thanks for still being my best friend if I do realize it someday. Because right now, I'm just confused. I've never been this confused except for the time I was in third year and I walked into homeroom in a rush because I was late and I wondered why I had a different set of classmates and why they all looked smaller than my usual ones. That's when I realized I was in the first year homeroom class.

Sorry for making you worry. I'll write when I can.

Is this long enough?

I'm just kidding. I really want to get out of here and hang out with you guys again.

Luhan

 

Luhan,

How are you holding up? I feel like this is worse than being jailed. Not that I've ever been jailed before. But I feel like I'm in one now. No decent food. No TV. All I've been having are vegetables and books. Not even comic books. And I haven't stepped foot outside of the house. Not even in my backyard. I haven't breathed fresh air for days!

I can't believe they're making such a big deal out of this. We were the ones who fooled around. Aren't we supposed to be freaking out because we kissed each other? We were there. They didn't kiss us. And I didn't find it all weird. They shouldn't too. 

And a hearing? With Yifan as the witness? This is a joke.

Write back soon. I want to read how miserable you are too.

Minseok

Dear Minseok,

At least you haven't had a psychologist and a guidance counselor visit you everyday. I've probably had a dozen sessions with those guys and all they keep on asking me is when did I realize I was gay. I still don't even know if I'm one! Geez. I'd take your vegetables and books anytime over having to face these shrinks and talk about my feelings everyday.

I heard about the hearing. I guess that's important if we want to graduate at all. But yeah, with Yifan as the witness. I don't think that will happen.

I'm glad to know you care about my miseries.

Luhan

 

Dear Parent(s)/Guardian(s),

We regret to inform you that your son, Luhan, who is a senior of O High School, with the disciplinary hearing code no. 105, is issued an expulsion from this school.

After the hearing conducted last week, the board of directors have made their decision to have your son expelled. The serious offence he has made is written down in the student handbook and cannot be substituted with just a few week's worth of suspension which you have requested.

We would like to schedule a meeting with you this Friday to hand over
Luhan's remaining documents.

Sincerely,
Lee Soo Man
Principal
O High School

 

Dear Parent(s)/Guardian(s),

We regret to inform you that your son, Kim Minseok, who is a senior of O High School, with the disciplinary hearing code no. 1505, is issued an expulsion from this school.

After the hearing conducted last week, the board of directors have made their decision to have your son expelled. The serious offence he has made is written down in the student handbook and cannot be substituted with just a suspension which you have requested.

We would like to schedule a meeting with you this Friday to hand over Minseok's remaining documents.

Sincerely,

Lee Soo Man
Principal
O High School

 

Dear Luhan,

What do you mean you're going back to Beijing? You can't go back to Beijing! You live here!

My mom told me all about the hearing and the expulsion. You can just apply to another school. There are probably dozens of high schools scattered around here. You don't have to go all the way to Beijing just for that.

Minseok hyung got expelled too and he's not moving to another country. Talk to your mom and dad. Or I'll talk to them. I don't know how I'll manage to convince them but it's worth a try, right?

Tell your parents you're not gay. You still haven't figured it out anyway. Stall. Or whatever.

You. Can't. Leave.

Sehun

Dear Sehun,

It's not that simple. I thought it would be but it's not.

Mom wants to go back to Beijing because she can't stand the talks she hears. When she's in the supermarket, everyone starts whispering around her and she says she doesn't hear what they're whispering exactly but she can hear my name and "gay" and "shouldn't be allowed out of the house." As if being gay is a disease.

And dad tries not to get affected by it but he gets angry whenever mom starts crying after she comes home from work or from the grocery. And it makes me angry too when I see her cry.

I don't know if this is all my fault. Maybe we shouldn't have spiced up the punch in the first place. Or drank it ourselves. Or got caught by stupid valedictorian Wu Yifan.

I feel like it is my fault. And moving to Beijing but I deserve it. I don't want to see my mom cry anymore. And I miss talking to my dad too. Maybe if we all started over in another place mom would stop crying and dad would play soccer with me again.

I don't want to say I'm not gay. Because maybe I am. And I feel pissed off at everyone for making such a big deal about it.

Sometimes I feel like I'm disgusting to be with and I guess moving to Beijing is what I need.

Luhan

Dear Luhan,

Don't say that. I don't find you disgusting. I think you're cool and funny. They're stupid for finding you disgusting.

This . I don't want you to move. I don't want to see you go. You can just stay here with me.

Mom and dad won't let me see you anymore. But they can't keep me away
from you forever. They can't. Best friends have rights to each other. They just don't know it because they never had one.

It's not yours and Minseok hyung's fault. You were being teenagers. Doesn't everyone go through that?

You know, even with all this, I'm proud of you hyung. Go ahead and take your time. You don't have to think about your preferences now anyway.

Tell me what's the next plan. I'll be there.

Sehun

Dear Sehun,

Dude are you sure you're 14? How are you handling this very maturely?

And thanks man. You had me tearing up back there. A little. Because I'm being a jerk and will not admit I'm crying.

Thanks.

Luhan

P.S. - Did you just call me hyung?

 

Luhan,

Got your message. Will be there at the airport at six. Jongin's coming. So is Minseok hyung. Parents have no idea.

Sehun

 

To: Jongin

man I can't believe he's gone.

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

I know. Everything’s all quiet and .

I’m going to miss random soccer afternoons.

From: Jongin

 

Dear Sehun,

Ni hao all the way from Beijing! (That's hi in Mandarin by the way. But I guess you already know that since I taught you a few words last summer.)

We're finally settled down. Dad got us a two bedroom apartment with a view of an old lady's laundry area. It's not as big as the house back there but I kind of like it. It's small and cozy and since I'm still sort of grounded, it's easy for me to do the chores around here. It's like I'm already done sweeping the floors by lunch time.

I've never lived in an apartment before. Mom says I have but I don't remember it. I was barely a year old when we left for Seoul. And I doubt anyone can remember anything when they're almost a year old.

How are you doing back there? How does being in high school feel? Made any new friends? Or is Jongin still your only friend. Watch out for Mrs. Park during Home Economics. She spits when she talks so take the seat at the back. And as for Mr. Hwang during Science, the answers to his exams are always stored at the back of the board.

I miss school. I miss goofing around. I know I said I was going to look for a school here, finish the last year of high school in a new environment, but I'm thinking about working and earning the money for my tuition. Mom found a job as a preschool teacher and dad is back to being a production planner at some company. They seem okay about me working for my education and graduating a little late again. But I get to help with the bills at home so that's fine. Look at me, I'm finally an adult.

I hope you kept your promise that you'll wait at the post office everyday for my letter. Because if you didn't then this will arrive at your house and your mom or dad would've already ripped this up. I hope they don't. Because Minseok needs my address too and I told him before I left to get it from you.

Say hi to Jongin for me!

And don't take high school too seriously.

Well,  just a little bit. Just don't do anything stupid.

Luhan

Dear Luhan,

Got your letter! Well, obviously, because how in the world will this reach you if I didn't get your letter. And of course I kept my promise. Spent everyday dropping by the post office.

How is Beijing? Is it cold there? Do you guys really eat dumplings all day? Did you get fat? Do you have Minseok hyung's face?

Yeah, I know ni hao. And that other greeting you taught me only it turned out to be a curse word. I still remember the look on your mom's face when I said it to her. Funny how she didn't get mad at me but at you.

I'm fine. First year isn't what I expected. It's like middle school still. I thought it would be way cooler. But maybe it's because you and Minseok hyung made it look cool. Without you guys, high school just seems lame. Even Jongin thinks so too. He says hi back!

I've made a few friends. They're okay. But Jongin and I just usually hang out together. We're the only ones who laugh at our own jokes. Some of them don't even get it.

Thanks for the heads up regarding Mrs. Park although you know I don't need that tip about Mr. Hwang. I'm smart. Ha!

I can't believe you don't live next door to me anymore. This is going to take some time getting used to. I have no one to make funny faces to when I look out the window. I have no one to sneak out with in the middle of the night to buy ramen at the 24 hour mini mart down the street. I have no excuse to spend the night with someone else's house because Jongin's not allowed either. And no one here can play soccer as good as you and Minseok hyung do. I'm the best around here and I
at how to play it.

I gave Minseok hyung your address so expect a letter any time soon. He's working at the ice cream shop where the two of us used to order those monster sundaes. He gave me extra marshmallows. He's doing well these days and got into a new high school. It's a little strict. And looks so expensive. He's living in a dorm and stuff. He says he'll tell you all about it in his letter.

Good luck in finding a job! You can do it. And you'll be able to graduate in no time. Don't doubt yourself. Fighting!

Sehun

P.S. -  Oddly enough, I miss your farts
P.S.S - In case you get an email, my email address is [email protected]

Dear Luhan,

Finally! A word from you! I thought you forgot about me and Sehun. I will personally hunt you down in Beijing if you so much as forgot that you have two best friends still living here in Seoul.

Sehun must be trying to lighten things up when he said I was doing well. I'm NOT. I'm in a private boarding school. A BOARDING SCHOOL. Where people are snobby and smart and filthy rich and drink tea with their pinky up. I live with them every single day, watch them groom themselves into fine young men and listen to them whine about how the carpets and walls are not to their liking. I feel like I'm surrounded with Yifans. Good thing he isn't here. Heard he went off to a university in Canada. Well good riddance.

My dad thinks shipping me off to a boarding school is going to "get rid of my unhealthy preference". Like surrounding me with whiny boys is going to get rid of me being gay. Yes, I'm gay now. I officially told my parents the day they decided to ship me off to this school. Mom fainted. Dad looked like he was about to burst. I've never had such a glorious moment in my life.

I don't feel any different though. Mom always goes on and on about how I'm just being rebellious and I'll come to my senses. But I've never felt more comfortable. And I'm not going to start jumping some guy now, I know what you're thinking Luhan. I'm just going to enjoy me being sort of free.

How about you? The last time we talked about this was at the airport. You said you were still thinking about it and well, if you are, just wanted to let you know pipsqueak and I are here for you in case you've forgotten. And Jongin too.

Write more! Oh and Sehun's got an email account. I have one too. The only thing cool about this boarding school is the computers they let you use all the time for classes. My email's [email protected].

Hope you're as miserable as me and I miss you dude!

Minseok

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: I GOT A JOB

Subject says it all! I finally got a job!

It's not much. I'm a waiter at this restaurant downtown. It's kind of far from where I live and I take the subway for half an hour to get there but it's a busy district and the restaurant's popular so the pay is just right.

Sorry for not writing for months. Been really busy and I haven't bought a laptop yet. I'm in an internet cafe that's right across our place. It stinks of cigarettes and left over chinese take out. You and Jongin and Minseok would probably enjoy the video games here though. They have Mega Death and Chicken Slayer II.

How are you guys?

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: CONGRATULATIONS!

You finally wrote back! And congratulations! How is being a waiter like? Do you really spit food on the customer's order when you're pissed off? If you don't, just say yes because Jongin and I made a bet that you do and I don't want to lose 20 bucks.

I'm doing great these days although finals are coming up so I'm a little busy. Won't be able to write back so soon if I want to pass first year.

And I'm seeing someone!!! Her name is Krystal. She's really pretty and smart. Jongin says she looks scary but that's because she's like head cheerleader here and top of the class at the same time so she has to be tough. I want you to meet her! Well, I don't know how but I really want you to meet her.

Aren't you saving for tuition? You don't have to buy a laptop right now.

Okay I have to go. Write back soon!

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Is Krystal Crazy?

No, I don't spit on the customer's food. I almost did because this one woman kept changing her order and I was so tired. But then the head chef was looking at me so I didn't. Yeah go ahead and tell Jongin I did though.

How did your finals go? You would think that with an email I can finally write back more often but I come home tired everyday and I can't even stop by the internet cafe anymore. But I've saved enough these last few months and I might get a laptop soon. I'm still saving for tuition, don't worry. The laptop isn't much.

And I can't believe you're seeing someone! You?! Oh Sehun is seeing someone?! Head cheerleader at that?! There must be something wrong with her to date you. Yeah I want to meet her too so I can tell her how you drool in your sleep and fart when you've had too much ddeokbokki. Does she notice you call her Krythtal?

I'm kidding man. Good for you. Hope you're not too stingy on dates. We always used to grab some kimbap after school and I always remember you "forgetting"
your wallet. Dude you're already 16. Man up a little.

Miss you pipsqueak.

 

Sehun: LUUHAN!!!
Luhan: WHAAAT??
Sehun: You're online! Welcome back from the grave!
Luhan: I've only been gone for 6 months.
Sehun: That's like forEVER
Luhan: You talk like you're still twelve. What's up?
Sehun: I PASSED FIRST YEAR. Second year starts in two days!
Luhan: That's fast. But congratulations! You and Jongin passed together I hope?
Sehun: Yeah. And Krystal too!
Luhan: Wow you guys are still seeing each other. That's the longest time I've heard of you being with something. Or unless you still hug Mr. Cuddles to sleep.
Sehun: I still do. But Krystal is not a THING.
Sehun: And guess who's not a anymore? *wink wink*
Luhan: Jongin???
Sehun: What, no! ME!
Sehun: But yes, Jongin is no longer one too.
Sehun: Luhan?
Sehun: Luhan?
Sehun: Still there?
Luhan: I CAN'T BELIEVE PEOPLE YOUNGER THAN ME HAS HAD SOME.
Sehun: Luhan-
Luhan: AND I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE FINALLY TAINTED. Did the videos I sent you before helped?
Luhan: And wait, JONGIN TOO?
Sehun: Yes, Jongin too. He and Taemin.
Sehun: No. Those videos were far from what you actually have in real life. Real life is BETTER.
Luhan: Stop trying to rub it in. And isn't Taemin a boy?
Luhan: Oh my God.
Sehun: DON'T TELL. I SWORE I WON'T TELL.
Luhan: What are you two, eight? Do you guys still swear by things?
Luhan: But this is big news! When was this?!
Sehun: Like three months ago. So it’s not really such a big news now.
Luhan: I should go online more often.
Sehun: Yes you should. How's the saving going?
Luhan: Welllll...
Sehun: Luhan...
Luhan: There's nothing wrong with not having graduated high school I mean skills are much more important than some paper with your name on it.
Sehun: What did you do...
Luhan: I love working. That's all. It's true. I memorize people's orders better than notes.
Sehun: Luhan it's just one year. One year and you can graduate high school.
Luhan: So are you and Krystal serious now?
Sehun: You are changing the subject. 
Luhan: How was it the first time?
Sehun: I'M NOT TELLING YOU THAT.
Sehun: But it was sweet and romantic.
Luhan: Oh my God you're in loooooove
Sehun: No I'm not! We're just going out!
Luhan: Whatever man.
Luhan: Oh hey, I have to go. My shift starts in half an hour and I
still need to get there.
Sehun: Okay. Bye. Take care and SAVE.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME

You're seeing someone and you didn't tell me?! I'm your best friend! I should be the first one to know! Not through Jongin who knew from Minseok hyung because you emailed hyung first and they bumped into each other at the arcade and ended up gossiping like girls.

When was this? What's he like? Where did you meet? Is he tall?

And I thought you said you were still figuring things out. So are you gay now? Because that's cool and finally!

BUT IS HE SAFE? I've read about relationships like this and sometimes it's just some guy pretending to be gay and get into relationships like this for fun and they also get abusive. Or wait, are you serious with him? Or just fooling around?

YOU DON'T EMAIL ME ANYMORE. I'M HURT.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME

You know, if you would've told me before you were going to change your email address then maybe you would've known this bit of detail before Minseok. And why did you change your email address anyway? 

Yes I'm seeing someone. His name is Yixing. He's a year younger than me and no, we're almost the same height. I met him three weeks ago at the subway. Remember that day we were online? Well, I was in a rush going to work when I bumped into someone. I dropped my keys to the apartment but didn't know since I was running. He picked it up and followed me to the restaurant. And since he didn't want to bother me during work hours, he became a customer and requested for me as a waiter. He then handed my keys while I was serving him some house tea and he waited until I was off from work to ask me out. I was so surprised and didn't say anything for awhile and he was so smooth going all, "I'll see you at the same subway station you took on Friday after your shift."

We've only gone out twice so I don't know if it's serious. But I like him and he seems nice. Handsome too. He has this really nice smile and beautiful eyes and when he laughs, God it's the most beautiful sound ever. I've never heard someone laugh like that. And no, I don't think he's some abusive guy.

He's a university student. Majors in Music and Arts. He composes and arranges songs. Cool huh.

Yeah I guess I'm finally gay. Yixing sort of cleared my head on that. Mom and Dad hasn't met him. I don't think I'll tell them for now.

Tell Minseok thanks a lot for telling. I told him not to tell anyone YET.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Still Bitter

That sounds nice. I'm glad you have someone there with you aside from your parents. Yeah I think not telling them for now is a good idea. You dad will probably ship you guys off to somewhere else again. But then you're 21 years old now so you can also just do whatever the hell you want.

I changed my email because I'm about to graduate soon and I'm applying for a bunch of universities here. I can't have coolsehun417 as my email address in my application. That's totally uncool.

Send me a picture of Yixing! I want to see what kind of guy finds you attractive. Heh.

P.S. - Minseok hyung's graduation party was fun. He kissed a guy in his class in front of his parents. Jongin and I cheered the loudest. Poor random boy looked confused though.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Happy Holidays from Sehun and Krystal!

Attached: 1 image

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Happy Holidays all the way from Jeju!

Got you your fave chocolates. I hope they arrive whole and not melted.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

---- e-card attachment ---

May you and your family experience joy and unity throughout this festive season.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Kim Jongin

---- end e-card ----

 

Minseok: Heeeeey
Luhan: Heeeey back. Why are you online? Don't you have work?
Minseok: I took a short break. Being a store manager here wasn't that fun as I thought it would be.
Luhan: You're living your dream job, Minseok. You sell video games all day. What more can you ask?
Minseok: Customers with good taste? Teenagers these days are so lame. Dress Me Up Barbie? RollerCarts?
Luhan: Ew
Minseok: Exactly. I need people who love action and adventure. I can't sell another version of Grandpa Miners without rolling my eyes. I feel like they're going to fall off anytime soon.
Minseok: What's up with you?
Luhan: Nothing. I'm waiting for Yixing to pick me up. We're going on a date.
Minseok: Oooh. Almost a year now huh.
Luhan: Yeah. It doesn't feel like a year though. Everything still feels so new.
Minseok: Is your mom and dad okay with it now?
Luhan: Dad isn't. Mom is. She's tired of all the family drama I've caused so she's alright with everything. Dad always grunts and shoots daggers at Yixing every time he's here.
Minseok: Get your own place.
Luhan: I'm planning to. Got promoted to head waiter. Guess going back to school is going to be pushed back again.
Minseok: You'll actually like it. Living alone I mean. I love it. I love living islands apart from my parents. Jeju is so relaxing.
Luhan: Yeah. More privacy for me and Yixing. We always do it at his place.
Minseok: Dude... I don't want to know that. 
Luhan: We always do it at his dorm or mine. We did it at the theaters one time too.
Minseok: Luhan, what part of “I don’t want to know that” do you not get?
Luhan: Oh and you should try having on the kitchen counter. It’s pretty uncomfortable at first but then the awkward angles you can do gets everything in deeper.
Luhan: Minseok?
Luhan: Minseok?
Luhan: I was just playing with you man!

 

Dear Sehun,

Congratulations!

I hope this gift arrives on the exact day of your graduation. And I hope you like it. You better do. Because I have the same backpack with a different color and it's kind of like a cheesy best friend gift.
 
Email me when you get this package.

Luhan

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: THANKS AND I HAVE GOOD NEWS!

Thanks for the gift! You know you didn't have to get me one. I love it though so thanks!

I have good news! You know how I've been such a good son and a devoted student (ha!), my parents allowed me to go on vacation as a graduation present and sooooo I'M GOING TO BEIJING!!!

Yes I'll be going to Beijing to see YOU and you better be available because we're going to catch up and not sleep AT ALL. You're going to take me to your restaurant and we're going to see The Great Wall or do nothing for a week while I'm there except talk and eat and drink and laugh.

And you better introduce me to Yixing. I want to know who's gotten my best friend's heart and all that sappy stuff. Krystal said she'll drop by Beijing on the way home from visiting her sister in Japan so let's all go on a double date on the last day I'm there.

I'll be there at the end of the month. I can't wait to see you!!!

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: ASHDGJSGFJSDFG

YOU'RE COMING HERE AND I CANNOT BE ANYMORE EXCITED I DON'T EVEN CARE WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO. JUST SEEING YOUR STUPID FACE IS ENOUGH FOR ME.

Yixing is with me right now and he says he can't wait to see you too. I can't wait to meet Krystal either. I already asked work if I can leave for a week and they said yes. Perks of being the head and all.

Good thing I got a new place. You'll love sleeping on my couch.

SEE YOU SOON.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: ASHDGJSGFJSDFG

Hell I ain't sleeping on the couch. I'm sleeping next to you.

I'm all packed and ready to go! See you at the airport!

Look at all the food I'm bringing you.

Attached: 2 images

 

To: [email protected], [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: STAHP

Jongin and I are not jealous of the pictures you guys are sending us so STOP IT.

Bring us back something. Or better yet, Sehun, bring back Luhan!

 

Dear Sehun,

Ah, doesn't this feel nostalgic? Writing letters to you again even if we can still email each other anyway. I hope you won't catch me slipping this into your bag when I drop you and Krystal off at the airport and I hope you get to figure out where I placed this and you'll read it soon.

I can't believe you're gone!!! One week wasn't enough. I had so much fun! I have our picture at The Great Wall stuck to my fridge door. I get this ridiculous smile on my face whenever I take out the milk. I stood in the kitchen for about fifteen minutes this morning just smiling at it while you were in the shower.

The past few days was such a blur. It’s funny I’ve been in Beijing longer than you have but I haven’t visited the places we went to. Are you wearing the “I climbed The Great Wall!” shirt you wanted and asked me to buy? And hang our picture at the Beijing National Stadium in your room! Let me know what your mom and dad thinks of you hanging out with your gay best friend. They can’t ground you now.

And geez I still can't understand how tall you've become. You weren't like that when I left. You were such a pipsqueak! You can't be the same height as me!

Yixing thinks you're funny. He likes you a lot. He doesn't wonder how I can be best friends with someone years younger than me. He says you practically think the same way I do. Like when you shoved those chopsticks up your nose the same time I did too and almost scared the waitress.

Also, we haven't gotten around to talking about Krystal but I think she's really nice. I will never understand how she fell in love with you. It must be the brains. I'm glad you found someone who understands your mental disorder: smart at school but dumb in some areas. Guess that's why we're best friends.

It was nice spending time with you again. You know, I never did get around to saying this because I was honestly afraid of talking about this to anyone but I was kind of anxious about us seeing each other again after a long long time. I was scared you'd be different. We would be different. We haven't seen each other in three years and a lot should have changed. A lot did change. You're taller, you don't drool that much in your sleep although you still do a little bit. But somehow, you're still the same Oh Sehun I've come to befriend with since I was twelve.

Yeah whatever call me paranoid for even thinking we would drift apart but I hope we never do. Let's still be Luhan and Sehun, Space Cowboy partners for life.

Miss you man.

Luhan

P.S. - You left your shirt in my bed. Will send it over soon.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Cheesy

When did you get so emotional? And sticking the letter in my toothbrush kit? How did you manage to do that?

I'm kidding about being emotional because I miss you too already. Krystal said she's never seen me look like this before. Like I've lost an arm or something. Maybe I have?

One week really wasn't enough. Next time, you should come visit me and stay for like a month. Or forever. Or I can go back with Minseok hyung and Jongin and we'll go on a roadtrip. That would be fun.

Beijing is really beautiful. Thanks for taking me around. I am wearing the shirt you gave me. And I printed our picture and framed it in my room and mom and dad keeps on staring at it hoping it’ll crack or something. They don’t bother me in my room as much as they used to knowing they’ll see your face when they walk in there. Thanks man!

Oh and thanks for being my interpreter around Yixing hyung. He's cool too. He made me listen to the stuff he arranges. Very nice. He's pretty talented I hope he makes it big. It makes me wonder how you two get along when you're so crazy and he seems kind of well composed. Do you drive him nuts sometimes? I hope you do. Tell him to loosen up a little bit. Or you do it for him. *nudges you obnoxiously

And ha ha for thinking Krystal only likes me for my brains. She likes my face and abs and my moves too. Heh.

I wasn't going to tell you about this but I felt that way too and I'm really really glad we're still the same after all these years. You've grown too you know. You turned prettier. You're going to kill me for even saying that but you did. And brown hair suits you too. Although I miss the black. You still don't hang your towels, still talk in your
sleep, still write with the same sloppy penmanship, laugh like your face is going to break and a lot more and it's good to see that you still have these small traits.

Yeah Space Cowboys forever! If you let go I'm going to drag you back to Seoul with me.

Miss you too Xiao Lu.

Luhan: Abs? What abs?
Sehun: I have abs!
Luhan: You mean, the flat stomach I wake up to every morning?
Sehun: Shut up.
Luhan: Oh by the way, did Minseok and Jongin receive the stuff I sent to you?
Sehun: Yes, don't worry. I didn't eat all of it.
Sehun: Well, maybe the squid jerky. I ate that.
Luhan: You could've just said you liked it I would've bought some more.
Sehun: Naaah it's okay. Oh don't send the shirt back anymore. Shipping that small thing is a waste. Keep it there. Frame it. So everyone can see that you're glorious best friend visited you. 
Luhan: I rarely have visitors over. I'll wear it so it'll be old and I can use it as a rag.
Sehun: Mean.
Sehun: Oops gotta go. Krystal's here.
Luhan: Say hi to her from me.

 

To: Jongin

everything man. Let's go get ourselves wasted.

From: Sehun

To: Minseok

Hyung, are you awake? Sorry to contact you at this time. We need a
ride. Sehun's too drunk and I can't keep on lugging him around.

From: Jongin

To: Jongin

Where are you two?

From: Minseok

 

Luhan: Sehun?
Luhan: You there?
Luhan: Sehun?

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: You'll Be Okay

Hey,

I heard. I don't know how you must feel right now. I'm glad Jongin is there with you.

I'm so sorry to hear you and Krystal broke up. She must've hated moving away in the middle of the semester as much as you did.

You'll be fine. Not now. And I don't know when. But you're Oh Sehun. You'll move on from this.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: You'll Be Okay

I feel like throwing up.

I feel like my heart's been ripped out of my chest and my lungs have stopped working. I've never felt this much depressed since you left years ago and now to happen it all over again.

We had plans. We said we were going to finish university together. And then maybe get married and live in an apartment because a house is just too big for us. We said we would have three kids, two girls and a boy. And maybe even get a dog if our kids don't get any asthma. We would name you godfather for the eldest, Minseok hyung for the second and Jongin for the youngest. And then we'd let the kids drive their
grandparents crazy to get them back for everything they've made us do when
we were little.

How can I be this in love with her still? It's been a week since she left. And it's not like we can have that long distance relationship because that's not going to work. I know. Remember that new student years before you who everyone really liked because he was so cool? Nichkun? He transferred all the way from Thailand and he had this girlfriend back home but they broke up because he found someone
else here?

I don't want to be like them. Krystal might find someone else over there and I'd rather we broke up now over this than to have her tell me in just a few months she's seeing someone else.

What am I going to do Luhan? I feel like I’m going to die from too much heartache

 

Luhan: How are you holding up?
Sehun: Not good. It's been a month.
Luhan: Did you do what I said?
Sehun: Yes. Made myself busy. Got a part time job, studied harder.
Sehun: It's no use.
Luhan: Dude, pull yourself together. I sent Minseok and Jongin to fetch you this Saturday. Go out with them. Grab a few beers. Forget her.
Sehun: Can't.
Luhan: Just do it.
Sehun: Fine.
Sehun: But I'm still whining to you tomorrow.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: See Attached Files

Attached: 5 images

 

Luhan: I said let him grab a few beers not some chick at a bar
Minseok: He needs this. He needs a distraction. Bringing him to After School was what he needed.
Luhan: The name of the bar is After School? Nice.
Luhan: But he's going to get his heart ripped out again.
Minseok: No he isn't. He's just having fun. Did you even see the photos?
Luhan: I saw them alright. All sprawled out half on top of the counter with a girl pouring a drink down his chest and him up. That’s what you call fun?
Minseok: Look, he forgot about Krystal last night. Don't you think that's what matters? It's been a month!
Luhan: Fine.
Luhan: Got to go. I'm late for work.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Some Best Friend You Are

When did you and Yixing break up??? When did you lose your job??? Why are you keeping things from me???

I'm sorry I was such a whiny lately and haven't asked about you. I'm really sorry I don't email much these days either. But that doesn't mean you can stop telling me things.

Are you okay?

 

Luhan: I'm fine
Sehun: Liar
Luhan: I am! I really am.
Sehun: How can you be fine over a break up? And losing a job so soon after too?
Luhan: I'm fine. And it's because Yixing and I casually broke up. He was getting busy with his music. I just lost interest in him. It's fine. We're still friends.
Sehun: And the job?
Luhan: I can't be a waiter forever. I'm applying around.
Sehun: As?
Luhan: ... anything.
Sehun: Go back to school.
Luhan: I will, as soon as I save enough money.
Sehun: Fine. Are you sure you're okay?
Luhan: Never better. Look, just because you felt that way about yours and Krystal's break up doesn't mean I felt the same thing too. It's different for others.
Sehun: Alright.
Luhan: Are you okay? I heard you're doing well. 
Sehun: I'm good. I'm actually really good. Jooyeon got me out of the dark.
Luhan: Still seeing the girl from the bar I see.
Sehun: She has a name. Jooyeon. And she's helped me so so much.
Luhan: Yes and by help you mean having hot day and night and not even caring where you guys do it. I believe your mother walked in on the both of you TWICE?
Luhan: Although I don't have any problems about that because your mother needs to know you're not eight anymore.
Sehun: It's fun. I've never had this much fun with Krystal. This is just blow your brains out kind of fun.
Sehun: And you know what the best part is?
Sehun: We're not in a relationship.
Luhan: You sound like you're high.
Luhan: Please tell me you're not doing any drugs.
Sehun: I'm not. All I need is Jooyeon.
Luhan: Okaaaay.
Luhan: You know I don't need to say this because I know you're smart and all but please use protection.
Sehun: Yes, dad.
Luhan: Sehun...
Sehun: Yes, I'm being careful. Oh and I'll be moving out early next year. Got a job.
Luhan: Oh hey congratulations. You're graduating this year. WELCOME TO
THE LAND OF THE UNEMPLOYED.
Luhan: Oh wait you got a job.
Sehun: Yeah. I'm going to be an accountant.
Luhan: Ugh. Numbers.
Sehun: It's the only thing I'm good at.
Luhan: Well good luck. What are you doing right now?
Sehun: Waiting for Jooyeon to get off from her shift at the bar so I can pick her up. We're going to have a late dinner... If we're going to eat at all.
Luhan: Okay I don't want to know anything.
Luhan: Have fun though.
Sehun: Oh we will.
Luhan: I hope you break your back.

Hi,

I'm sorry for disturbing you but I just had to take this picture of
you while you were busy on your laptop.

I hope you don't find this weird I'm giving you a polaroid photo of yourself.

I ordered a drink for you. I hope you like hot chocolate?

From,
The guy with the camera sitting by the window

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: GUESS WHAT

I'M IN LOOOOOOOVE.

I know it's just been a few weeks but I TELL YOU, I'M IN LOVE.

You said I have to be a better best friend by telling you stuff so I'm writing you a long letter about him: His name is Kim Junmyeon. Yes, he's Korean. And he's a photographer.

He's damn gorgeous too. , Sehun I've never seen someone so beautiful in all my life. He looks like a movie star. Or one of those kpop idols we used to have back there. He has this amazing smile, flawless skin and his voice makes me melt.

And he got me a job!

Remember that time we were online and you were waiting for Jooyeon (how are you two by the way)? Well I was at a cafe while I was talking to you and he was sitting across from me by the window, just taking pictures of me. I know it sounds like he's some stalker but he's not.

Anyway, I just logged out from our chat and went to the restroom. When I came back, there was a note and a photo of me smiling at my laptop (I assume I was talking to you) and the letter said "you are handsome. may I please buy you a drink?" Or something like that. I've attached a scan of the letter so you can roll your eyes at it while you're reading.

He signed it "guy with a camera sitting by the window" and when I looked up, there really is a guy with a camera sitting by the window and he was the most gorgeous guy I've seen with a camera sitting by the window that I couldn't even believe he was looking at me, smiling and giving me a small wave.

He ordered me a hot chocolate and I went up to him to thank him for the photo and the drink and he asked if I would like to join him. And since I was done roaming around the streets handing out my resume and I really didn't want to go back to my apartment and do nothing, I decided, why the hell not?

So we talked. Turns out he's a freelance photographer and takes pictures of anything and sells them. He's looking for a model to photograph "emotions around the city" for a project when he saw me. He says he likes the way I smile and would like to work with me. So I said yes!

He's sold almost a dozen photos of me. Of course not all of them has my face on it. Sometimes it's just me walking or just my silhouette. Sometimes it's just me. I love being an unofficial model. It's not stressful.

And well, I don't know what we are but we're dating, I guess? I mean we kissed and held hands. We haven't slept with each other although I can't wait for that to happen now. Because he's really hot and really really gorgeous. Have I said that before?

Anyway, here's a picture of him I took while he was eating breakfast over at my place the other day.

ISN'T HE CUTE?

Attached: 2 images

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: GUESS WHAT

He looks like a mannequin. Is his face real?

Kidding, kidding. I'm happy for you. And yes he looks cute. And handsome. A little too handsome. Showed it to Jongin and he asked if the guy is real. I don't blame him. He looks freakishly perfect.

Told you you have a pretty face. But you? Modelling? Why am I laughing at that? Come on Luhan you can't possibly think of this as a job. You can't barely contain the faces you make. You always break your face by doing something. Like laughing.

Yes, he's gorgeous. You don't have to write it down three times. The photo says it all. Congratulations on landing yourself a very hot guy.

Jooyeon and I are fine. The is still good. In fact, it's gotten even more extreme and intense lately. I'm actually kind of surprised at how much we've been doing it a lot and we're still alive. I have very toned thighs now though.

WORK . I sit in an office and compute stuff eight hours a day with a one hour break in between. I'm going to die with my eyes glued to some spreadsheet.

Hope you get some too real soon.

And yes, you're getting better at this best friend thing.

Kidding. You were always the best.

Miss you, Xiao Lu.

 

 

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: LOOK

Attached: 5 images

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: LOOK

You two are cute.

And wow you do photograph well.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: LOOK

Hyung, you're really pretty.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: LOOK

HA! There's a pimple near your nose!

 

Luhan: Please tell Jongin to stop calling me pretty. I am not a girl. I am a 25 year old grown man.
Sehun: So can he say you're a pretty 25 year old grown man?
Luhan: No
Sehun: Fine. I'll tell Jongin to call you ugly
Luhan: How is he by the way? Still hung up on Taemin leaving him.
Sehun: Naah. He's out to get our neighbor now.
Luhan: I forgot you two are roommates in your new apartment.
Luhan: Is the neighbor cute?
Sehun: Too cute. He brought us some apple pie as a move in present and Jongin couldn't stop blushing the whole time we talked to him
Luhan: I can just picture out Jongin getting all flustered.
Sehun: Oh he is. But he feels like he should've made a manlier impression. Now he's like trying a bunch of things outside our apartment. First it was smoking but he didn't really know how to so he ended up looking like an idiot. Then it was drinking a beer and standing by the door with it and until Kyungsoo hyung (that's our neighbor) arrived. That didn't work out either because all he did was go back and forth inside to pee so he eventually missed him.
Sehun: And then yesterday he just randomly decided to get a tattoo but he chickened out when we went there
Luhan: I am scared for his well being.
Sehun: I am too. How's doll face?
Luhan: Junmyeon? He's fine. Last night was wonderful.
Sehun: I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT
Luhan: Relax. I was going to say last night we were walking home when it rained and I was trying to find some shelter over our heads when he grabbed my arm from stopping me and before I knew it, he was kissing me under the rain.
Luhan: It was so romantic
Luhan: And then we went back home and did it.
Luhan: Twice.
Sehun: Eeew
Sehun: But doesn't that feel uncomfortable?
Sehun: I meant kissing under the rain.
Luhan: Oh yeah. It is. But kissing Junmyeon feels great so I ignored the rain and how I almost felt like I was drowning.
Sehun: Your boyfriend is cheesy
Luhan: We're just in love
Sehun: Eeew
Luhan: Shut up.
Sehun: Yeah I will because I have to go. Gonna do those spreadsheets like how I do Jooyeon.
Luhan: Eeew

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: GREETINGS

Happy Chuseok! Look at the food we’re having!

Attached: 1 image

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: HEY

Happy Chuseok!! I know you don't celebrate it there but I just wanted
to give you a reason to be jealous of all the food I'm eating.

Attached: 10 images

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Happy Chuseok!

Happy Chuseok from Jongin and Kyungsoo!

Attached: 1 image

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: CRISIS

Hey... it's me... your dying best friend.

No, I'm not actually dying. But I feel like I am. Being an accountant was the worst thing I've done in my life. I feel like I've aged over a hundred years old in just a few months. I can now understand why you always hated math. I have seen how evil it is for eight hours a day.

I feel like I'm getting nowhere with my life. I visited my parents last week and they kept talking about how I should work harder. Like being an accountant isn't enough. I get paid really well and I don't really want to resign or anything right now. I don't know what to do.

I feel really old. Like I should do something with my life. I don't think I should date again though. Jooyeon was fun and probably the only thing who made me feel like I was young because of all the we were having but I'm kind of glad she's gone now too. It's like I'm just done with the dating and the fooling around.

How did you deal with this at your age?

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: CRISIS

You have got to be kidding me.

How can you be having a midlife crisis at 22? You're young, Sehun! You're not old!

It's the job. It's making you feel old. Go find another one if you feel too stressed out about it. You're too young to be stuck doing the same thing. Go out. Take a leave and go for a vacation. Visit me! Or wait, you can't visit me because I'm going on a trip to Taiwan with Junmyeon so it's either you wait for me to get back or you go
somewhere else and relax.

This will pass Sehun. Keep your head up.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Thanks

I took your advice. I applied for a two week leave. I'm going on a vacation by myself. And boo you're going to Taiwan. We could've been lying around your place doing nothing for two weeks.

I'll tell you all about my trip to Paris once I get back.

P.S. - Can you please remind Jongin through email once in awhile to
check on the apartment while I'm gone? He's staying over at Kyungsoo's
which is right next door but he sometimes forget he lives on the other
side.

 

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: HURRY

YOUR APARTMENT'S ON FIRE!!!

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: HURRY

No it isn't. I just checked.

And you just made me have a heart attack for 5 minutes.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: I HATE MEN

Have I ever told you about how I hate men?

I haven't? Well, I DO! I hate men! I hate all men! Well, except you and Minseok and Jongin and the baker down the street who gives me extra muffins when I buy from him. But I hate men! Men whose names are Kim Junmyeon.

He is an . I can't believe he's seeing someone other than me. So much for being in love with him and all that . "I love you Luhan." "I've never loved anyone this much." "Kissing you feels like I'm on top of the world." I can't believe I fell for all that. him.

I shouldn't have opened his laptop. It wasn't that I was curious about what he keeps in there. I just wanted to see the photos he took of our trip to Taiwan. But I opened a different folder and I saw it was his trip to Shanghai last week. His "business trip" and I saw him and some guy taking pictures of themselves around the city. That was fine with me because maybe it was just a friend. Until I saw the rest of the
photos and they were kissing.

And it wasn't even a friendly kiss! It was something else. He was holding his face with both hands and they were smiling and fooling around and he looked happy. You don't kiss your friends and look like THAT.

He said that was just nothing. Junmyeon said it was an old picture. Whatever. If it was old, why keep a photo like that anyway.

I hope men like him rot. I hope that Kim Jongdae he's seeing on the side knows his boyfriend's a player. I hope Junmyeon loses a foot. I hate him and his stupid camera and his stupid pretty face and his stupid everything.

I hate men. I'm never going to fall in love with anyone else ever again.

Sorry for ranting while you're on vacation

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: I HATE MEN

I just got back from Paris and this is the first thing I see.

What the hell? I'm sorry to hear that. And I wish I could be there right now so you'd point to me where Junmyeon lives and I'd cut off his foot. Or hurt him because he hurt you. I'd not only break his foot. Maybe his pretty face too. I'm glad you broke up with him. 

By the way, I have news to tell you. But I don't want to tell you now. I don't think this is such a perfect time.

Sent you a few treats from Paris.

 

Luhan: What news?
Sehun: Are you okay?
Luhan: No. But maybe your news will make me feel better.
Sehun: I don't want to tell you if you're not okay. This can wait. How are you doing?
Luhan: Sehun come on just tell me. I need a distraction anyway. I'm done crying my eyes out.
Sehun: He made you cry?! 
Sehun: That er.
Luhan: Sehun tell meeeee.
Sehun: Fine. Just so I can distract you.
Sehun: So you know how I went to Paris?
Luhan: You did?
Sehun: Luhan...
Luhan: You asked!
Sehun: It was a conversation starter.
Luhan: Continue.
Sehun: So I went to Paris and on my third day there I went to the Eiffel Tower to do some touristy things you know, like take those ridiculous pictures of myself holding the tower when I bumped into someone. Guess who.
Luhan: I don't know. Who?
Sehun: Krystal!
Luhan: Ex-girlfriend Krystal Jung?
Sehun: How many other Krystals do we know?
Luhan: I know of a Chrystal near the restaurant I work at before.
Luhan: Sehun?
Luhan: I was joking.
Sehun: ANYWAY
Sehun: We were so surprised to see each other after a really long time and so we had tea together and talked about what we both missed.
Luhan: Is she pregnant?
Sehun: What? No! She's doing really well. She's an accountant too. Like me. And her father's friend is opening up a company in Seoul so she might get transferred there. Her father's friend wants her to oversee the accounting operations because she's the only person he trusts.
Luhan: So she's moving back to Seoul? That's the good news?
Sehun: That's not it. Be patient.
Luhan: Fine. What else?
Sehun: We ended up spending our two week vacation together. It was really... different.
Luhan: How different?
Sehun: Like we weren't those kids anymore? Like we were adults enjoying a great time together and it got me thinking, on the last night of our stay, that maybe this is what I really need to get rid of my midlife crisis.
Luhan: What do you need?
Sehun: Marriage.
Sehun: I'm getting married. Krystal and I are getting married.
Sehun: I asked her and she said yes and Luhan, we're getting married.
Sehun: Luhan?
Sehun: Luhan?
Sehun: Still there?
Sehun: Luhan?

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Dude

Sorry I left you hanging. I didn't realize I was just staring at the screen with my eyes so wide for so long that when the power went out I till sat there in the dark wondering if I read that correctly.

Are you sure you're getting married? Are you sure you want to get married? Sehun, you're 22 years old. This isn't the answer to your midlife crisis. This is a spur of the moment decision! This is something that you thought of in just two weeks. TWO.

You can't get married dude. You're too young to get married. You're like a fetus. No one gets married at 22. The only ones who do are the ones who get knocked up or the old fashioned ones. You said Krystal isn't pregnant. And you're the last one I'd peg for being old fashioned.

Please think about this. Getting married at 22. Think about it real hard.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Help

Please tell me Sehun getting married isn't true. Please tell me you convinced him that this isn't what he needs.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Is he serious?

Is Sehun serious about getting married?

Or are you two just trying to play a joke on me and Jongin again.

 

 

Oh Se Hun & Krystal Jung
request the pleasure of your company
at the celebration of their union

Sunday, May 11
at four in the afternoon
Myeongdong Cathedral
74, Myeongdong-gil, Jung-gu
Seoul, South Korea

reception to follow

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Best Friend, right?

You know, I thought you were my best friend. I thought you were different and had more sense than Jongin and Minseok. I thought you were smarter than them. But to actually tell the both of them come to my door at two in the morning and sit me down to talk about how marriage is a big big step and that I'm not ready for it and so is Krystal because we're both young and immature is stepping over the line.

You're my best friend! You're supposed to be supportive of this thing! I sent you a special invite because I want you to come here a month before the wedding to help me out. I chose you as my best man for this because you are my best man. And as best man, you're stopping me from choosing a life that's going to make me happy?

I want this wedding, Luhan. I want to get married. I love Krystal. And she's the only girl I've actually ever loved in my whole life. We want to get married and no one's supportive of us. Not even both of our parents because they think we're too young too. But I've never cared about their opinions ever since I was little. You know that. You were there! We grew up together! You know how I didn't care about what they
said about anything in my life.

I need you Luhan. I'm angry at you and I'm pissed off at you for letting Jongin and Minseok stop me from this too but I need you. You're my best friend. My best man. Space cowboy partner and all that.

Come to my wedding. Please. I need you here.

 

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: 9:05 AM

Y'all better pick me up at 9:05 in the morning at the airport to
carry my luggage.

 

To: Luhan

I don't like Krystal.

From: Minseok

To: Minseok

Why? What has she ever done to you?

From: Luhan

To: Luhan

She stole Sehun from us.

And wow your phone number still works.

From Minseok

To: Minseok

I had Sehun keep it.

And she's not stealing Sehun. She's just marrying him.

Also, stop texting me I'm in the middle of this wedding rehearsal.

When are you returning from Jeju? The wedding's in a week. You guys need to practice too.

From: Luhan

To: Luhan

I just need to finish selling these packaged video games and then I'm flying there in three days.

I can practice all that in a day.

From: Minseok

To: Jongin

Can you and Kyungsoo make it in three days? I know Busan isn't that far but I'm kind of anxious you guys aren't still here and you haven't practiced anything.

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

We'll be there. Relax. I can get all that down in a day. You just need
me to walk and do stuff, right?

From: Jongin

To: Luhan

Dinner with Krystal's parents, my parents and her sister tomorrow.
She's her maid of honor.

Please don't scare Jessica noona off.

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

I'm not scary so why would I scare her off?

And I just saw the bill for Krystal's dress. Who's paying for this?

From: Luhan

To: Luhan

Me.

It's fine. It's not much. I've saved a lot from being an accountant.

Oh and did you finish writing your best man's speech?

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

I'll work on it after the dinner tomorrow.

From: Luhan

To: Krystal

Hey baby, just dropped your parents off at the hotel. Luhan and I are just going to catch up on a few stuff. Will head on back a little later.

Enjoy the night out with Jessica noona.

From: Sehun

 

To: Minseok

From: Luhan

 

To: Luhan

What?

From: Minseok

To: Minseok

I need help. Serious help.

From: Luhan

To: Luhan

What happened? Where are you? Aren't you supposed to be having dinner with Sehun and his family and soon to be family?

From: Minseok

To: Minseok

I need to talk to you but not over the phone. I don't trust how I sound right now. Check your email.

From: Luhan

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject:

I am going to go down in history as the worst friend ever.

No, wait. I will be the only one in history who will be known as the worst person ever to walk this Earth. My picture will be in one of those huge rooms in some ancient museum in the future where they keep the most rotten people in the world. I will be there and people will shake their heads at my portrait as they pass by, throwing eggs or tomatoes in my face.

I did not see this happening. I don't even understand how it happened. One minute we were talking and the next... I don't even know how to write all this down. My hands are shaking and my head keeps on thinking back to that moment and I don't know how to make it go away. Minseok, I don't know how to make all this go away.

I know I'm not making any sense right now so this is what happened. Sehun and I decided to go to Hongdae for a drink. He said he wanted to relax. But to be honest, I have to say it was to let off some steam because of what happened at dinner. The dinner we had with his parents and Krystal's family was awkward. I'm not going to sugar coat anything. It was so awkward and it was a pain to see Sehun trying to make everything better. He kept on making small talks and trying to build up conversations that no one wanted to take part in. You know how his family still isn't pleased at him for getting married too early plus the fact that his gay best friend whom they had forbidden to see forever is there as best man. 

And then there's also Krystal's parents who looked like they didn't want to be there at all because their daughter deserves to have a husband that wasn't this young. I counted the number of times Sehun squeezed Krystal's hand to make sure she was alright. Seventeen. At least her sister tried to lighten things up by talking about her life in Tokyo. But at the end of the night the whole thing made her seem like an attention because all she did was just talk about herself.

So we went to Hongdae for a few drinks and we ended up doing what we do best: laughing and talking. I know I've already been here for a month just helping Sehun out with everything but we never got around to having a night off to ourselves. It was always the wedding plans, making Krystal have this dream wedding in such a short time, making everything perfect for the both of them... And I don't mind. Really. I
don't. Sehun said he needed me here to help him with everything and as best man best friend I'm fulfilling the role.

But I could see how tired he was every single day. And tonight was maybe the only night he probably had some decent time to himself. We were sitting there by the bar, a drink in front of us but it went untouched as we both just talked and reminisced about the past. How I didn't expect eight year old pipsqueak could ever be this tall and mature now. How he went from space cowboy to being an accountant. How I didn't think I'd be able to see him get married.

He then laughed and said I sounded like his mother who still can't believe he's getting married either. He even added how he can't believe he's getting married. Can you believe that Minseok? A guy who wants this so bad, who kept on telling us how this is the answer to his life problems yet doesn't even believe he's getting married in two days. Isn't he supposed to be so ready for this?

I asked him if he wanted to back off from the wedding, seeing as he's so stressed out about it but he said no, he could never do that. And even if he did it would all be too late. Everything's all set. The caterers have all the supplies ready. The venue has started putting up the decorations. His honeymoon tickets to Milan with Krystal is already booked. There was just no possible way he can cancel all this even if he wanted to. Not that he did want to.

And then he kind of thumped his forehead on the bar counter, groaned and said, he wished he was fourteen again. I asked why as I rubbed his forehead with my thumb and he looked at me and replied how it was because nothing serious seemed to matter. I laughed at him for saying that because we did a lot of back then but to him, it still wasn't anything serious. I asked him how about that time he ditched class to play soccer with us and class president class Wu Yifan told on him. That earned him like a week's worth of detention. He replied with a "that still wasn't serious." Not even getting trouble for all the I sent him, I asked, and he laughed and said no, not even close.

So in the end I asked him what was "serious" enough for him in his life where he probably went ape over and he didn't even think twice before replying, "when you moved away. That was serious."

I remembered chuckling because he was being his greasy self again and he hadn't even touched his drink yet. I was about to for saying that, for being so cheesy when he added, "The only serious thing that mattered to me and will always matter to me is you Luhan."

And then I don't know what the happened, Minseok. I don't know how it happened. We were both sitting there, my hand still cradling the side of his head and he was staring at me, his cheeks flat against the counter and he looked so ridiculously funny when there was this silence. This weird, calm, not-even-the-least-bit-awkward silence that filled the space between us that seemed to drown out the music playing through the speakers. I couldn't hear anything else except maybe those words he last said drifting through my ears and the odd sound of something banging or pumping against my chest. Thinking back to it now I think it was my heart beating but I'm not sure.

And we were just there, staring at each other. It isn't even a weird stare. It was just like any other kind of stare except that I felt like that stare had messages in them. Sehun was staring at me under those bright green and orange lights and I was staring back at him, looking at him in another different kind of light too that had no
connection to the bar's lights. And it was as if that stare held something inside it. I don't know what the it was but it was damn weird Minseok.

I don't know how long it took for us to move. But the silence and the stare was just comfortably weird, making me feel really warm inside. It felt like water was thrown over my face, waking me up to whatever deep sleep I was in yet I wasn't flailing from it. I was in such a daze. I think the both of us were because not even Sehun seemed to move. It wasn't until the bartender asked if the drinks were okay did we both seem to snap out of it. I felt my cheeks go red and I took a peak at Sehun to see if he felt the same thing but with the lights dancing around us, I don't know if he really was red in the face or that was just my imagination.

I can't remember much about what happened next. All I know is that I managed to get out of there quick. I don't know why I wanted to get out. I just wanted to breathe. That silence and that stare was comfortable but it was also suffocating because it felt foreign at the same time. I don't know if I'm making any sense at all right now or if you can even understand what I'm writing. But Minseok, I was scared. I was ing scared and I just wanted to get out.

It was a good thing Sehun seemed to be in a hurry too. He said something along the lines of wedding plans he needs to finalize and he has to go back. We paid for the drinks and I took a cab back to the hotel. I don't even know what Sehun took. I don't even remember saying goodbye. All I can remember is the pounding in my chest as I rushed back and texting you that I need to talk to you. Because as I rushed towards my room, as I jammed the key card in the lock with shaking hands and splashed myself with real water now, I kind of understood what that weird silence was all about. What message that stare seemed to tell me. I wasn't able to realize it earlier but I think I finally know.

But the worst part didn't get to me after about a few seconds when all that sank in. When I was staring at myself in the mirror and clutching my chest that wouldn't seem to stop aching. Because you know what the worst  part is, Minseok? The worst part is how much I want it. I want it so bad.

This is why I'm the worst friend in the world. This is why I'll probably earn a spot in hell for this. Because of all the things that I want in life it's the one thing I can't have. The one thing I will never have! And I hate having to realize all this just now and being too late. The guy is getting married in two days! I was there first and I wasn't able to do anything. And now that I'm here now, I still won't be able to do anything about it.

Because you know what it is, Minseok? You know what it ing is?

It's the fact that I think I'm in love with my best friend.

I think I'm in love with Sehun.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject:

. ! Why aren't you here right now when I need you the most? Why are you off with your boyfriend in the middle of the week to go swimming? It's four degrees out! Who goes to the beach in this weather?!

Okay, I'm sorry. That wasn't necessary. But I really need to talk to you. And I've been calling your phone non stop since last night but you wouldn't pick up. So I'm emailing you instead and you better read this and not tell Minseok hyung or Luhan anything. Especially Luhan. I will strangle you in your sleep if you do and Kyungsoo hyung won't be able to do anything about it.

I feel like killing myself. Or jumping off a cliff right now. What did I do to deserve this? What have I done to make myself feel this? I've been a good person. All my life I have done nothing but be a good person. Well, maybe those times I've ditched classes or sneaked out does not entirely make me a good person. But I'm good! I've always been good!

I don't think I deserve this at all, Jongin. But I've felt it now and I don't know what to do about it.

So you know that dinner thing I had with my family and Krystal's family with Luhan? God was it awful. I felt like I was in a court room and everyone was the jury, judging me. Like I did a serious crime for deciding to get married. My parents and Krystal's parents didn't say a word the whole night. Krystal didn't either and I hate how she looked uncomfortable. Luhan helped out by adding some small topic we could all talk about but seeing as my parents didn't like him and how Krystal's parents didn't even know him, no one was still able to say anything. Thank God Jessica noona just talked about her life in Tokyo all night. At least it wasn't that silent.

I was so relieved dinner ended a little early and after I dropped off both of our parents at their own place, Luhan and I went to Hongdae for drinks. I wanted to drink that awkward situation away. I deserved a few beers. I haven't had anything to drink for a month now what with the wedding preparations and all. Drinking the night away just seemed like a good idea. Like a last hurrah before getting married.

But when we got there and ordered, none of us even touched it. It's funny how whenever Luhan's around, we forget a lot of stuff happening around us. I don't know how he does it but as soon as we got there he was making me laugh and talk and I didn't need a drink anymore. I don't even know where we get all these things to talk about. It's like with Luhan, we never run out of things to laugh and talk about.

We eventually talked about the wedding. He was being all nostalgic how he didn't think he would see me get married so soon. He sounded like my mother. I told him I couldn't even believe I was getting married so soon either. All I know is this is what I need.

And then he asked me a ridiculous question. If I wanted to back off from the wedding. Of course I said no. I've done so much for it already. I've prepared everything in a month. I can't just call everything off. Do you know how hard it was for those caterers to get the food supplies we asked? Or how the hotel would probably cut my throat if I so much as changed another table setting? I'm never
choosing that hotel again. They have awful customer service.

And that's when I felt so tired. I just felt really really tired of everything. Of what life I'm living right now and I rested my hand against the counter and said I wished I was fourteen again. Luhan seemed amused at that and asked why. I thought the answer was obvious enough but I told him because nothing serious seemed to matter when I was fourteen. I was right, wasn't I Jongin? Remember when we were fourteen? We didn't care about anything. Nothing seemed serious enough compared to getting married. We were ing fourteen!

Luhan answered back saying we got in trouble a lot back then but I still thought that wasn't serious. Even the times we ditched class. Even when we stuffed garbage in goody goody Wu Yifan's locker and went to detention for a week for that. Not even getting caught with . None of it was serious enough.

Luhan didn't believe me. My best friend wouldn't even believe something like that at fourteen wasn't serious enough so he asked what was. What would I consider serious enough that happened to me in my whole life up till now. And the answer was so simple that even I know you would answer back too. I told him when he moved away. That, that was serious enough.

Because it was true, Jongin. Luhan moving away was like the most ty thing that happened to me. To us! You cried. Remember that day? You didn't believe Luhan would move away. We both had plans of chasing them through high school and university. At first it was because Luhan and Minseok hyung were cool but you know, thinking back to it now, they were such dorks. Our very own cool dorks. Our best friends. And now one of them was to move away. That was serious to me.

And at that moment, when I thought about what was the most serious thing to me, everything just came back. The sleepovers. The stupid soccer matches. The farts. The sneaking out at night. Getting in trouble together. Watching Space Cowboys until three in the morning. I realized that it will always be about Luhan. I told him that the only serious thing that mattered to me and will always matter to me is him.

And that's when the most ed up thing just happened. I don't know where it came from but it suddenly just happened. There was this silence. This God-awful yet comfortable silence that enveloped the entire place. And we were at a bar, Jongin. On a Friday night. A bar where there were people and music. Yet there was this silence that I've never experienced before.

And then the silence wasn't the only thing anymore. It was Luhan's eyes too. You know how I had my head on the counter? I banged my forehead earlier when I did it and Luhan was rubbing his thumb to soothe the pain and his touch suddenly felt very nice. And the whole time I was talking to him I was looking up at him in this weird position. Like he was slanted and I was getting cross-eyed from having
to stare at him that way. But as soon as the silence started, the way I looked at him seemed different. He looked so perfect. With these lights blinking around him creating some sort of twinkling weirdness. And I kept on staring and staring at him and I felt like there were these messages being sent but they were in another language and I couldn't understand a ing thing. Until something clicked.
Something inside my head just clicked.
 
That something seemed like a joke that evening and I kept on thinking, I couldn't be feeling this. This is Luhan. My best friend! And before I could think more about it, the bartender was there asking if the drinks were okay seeing as we haven't touched it and that's when we looked away and everything seemed to be normal again.

Except that it didn't, Jongin. It just seemed normal but everything wasn't normal. Because I'm feeling things and seeing Luhan in some strange new light. It was amazing yet I was so scared because I was getting confused and disoriented again that I thought I must've drank something. I must be drunk. But my glass was still full. I checked. I haven't drank anything at all that night. Not even at the dinner we had.

I don't know how we were able to move or get out of there but we did. Luhan muttered something about an upset stomach and I don't know why I said I had stuff to finalize when I'm already done with everything but we got out and went home in a rush and thinking back to it now, we must've looked like a bunch of fools stumbling around the bar. 

I also didn't know I was holding my breath the entire ride home because as soon as I went home that night, I was able to breathe properly. And I was fumbling around for my phone trying to call you but you weren't picking up. Because I need to tell someone about this. I feel like if I don't I'll probably wither on the ground or something because of that silence and that stare and , Jongin, I don't know
what to do. I go to Luhan when happens but now I can't. 

Jongin, what do I do? What am I going to do? I can't feel this way. This is Luhan we're talking about. I don't deserve to feel this. I'm getting married in two days!

Oh God.

I'm getting married in two days. It just sunk in while I'm writing to you and oh God, Krystal. She doesn't deserve this either. I can't deal with this right now.

Help me Jongin. Help me deal with this.

Because I think I've been in love with my best friend all this time.

 

Minseok: What
Minseok: the
Minseok: actual
Minseok: ?
Luhan: I know. I know. I'm horrible.
Minseok: Yes. Yes you are horrible.
Minseok: And you know what else too?
Minseok: Stupid!
Minseok: You're stupid.
Minseok: You're horrible and stupid.
Luhan: I know, Minseok. I know.
Minseok: Geez Luhan. Sehun??? Sehun your best friend who's getting married tomorrow Sehun?
Luhan: I feel horrible enough as it is.
Luhan: And stupid.
Minseok: Well you better be. Because falling in love with your best friend is a serious serious matter.
Luhan: What am I going to do?
Minseok: You do nothing. The guy is getting married. There is nothing you can do.
Luhan: You're right. You are absolutely right. I do nothing.
Luhan: I'll just love him silently.
Minseok: What?
Luhan: I'll just love him from afar or something.
Minseok: What? No. You don't love him from afar. You don't love him at all.
Luhan: What am I going to do then?
Minseok: You forget about him. You find someone else to love and forget about him.
Luhan: I can't do that.
Minseok: Do you still want to be friends with Sehun or not? 
Luhan: Of course I do. What kind of a question is that?
Minseok: Then you stop loving him.
Luhan: How the do I do that?
Minseok: I don't know. Just stop it.
Luhan: But...
Minseok: But what?
Luhan: But what about that silence? What about that stare?
Minseok: That was your delusions. Get over it.
Luhan: It felt real.
Minseok: You were just stressed out. You've been working with him on this wedding too hard.
Luhan: I'm not stressed out. I had eight hours of sleep last night.
Luhan: Funny how sleep can make you feel a teeny tiny better in the morning.
Minseok: Look, I don't know what to say to you alright. I'm just trying to put some sense into your head because I can't have you wrecking your friendship with my friend too. Sehun is getting married. How many times do I have to repeat that? If you don't get over him, you are going to hurt yourself every time we all see each other for Christmas, during his children's birthday, during Chuseok, during
every Goddamn time we all get together.
Minseok: And I don't want to see any of you get hurt.
Luhan: Fine. Fine I'll try to forget about him. I’ll try.
Minseok: I'll be there in a few hours. Don't do anything stupid, alright?
Luhan: Yes. I won't.
Minseok: Go do that best man's speech instead. I know you haven't started on that.
Luhan: .

 

To: Sehun

Sorry I wasn't able to pick up your 67 missed calls.

And I read your email. I wasn't surprised. It's about time man.

From: Jongin

 

 

To: Jongin

What do you mean it's about time???

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

It's about time that you acknowledged you love your best friend.

From: Jongin

To: Jongin

What?!

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

I think I've always known you were in love with Luhan. So I'm not surprised.

From: Jongin

To: Jongin

???!!! 

When?! When did you know?!

And why the didn't you tell me?

Where are you by the way?

From: Sehun

 

To: Sehun

There's no specific time or date. I just knew.

But I wasn't sure. You were dating Krystal. You were having this crazed animal with Jooyeon. I wasn't entirely sure but I kind of just saw it, you know?

I'm waiting for Kyungsoo to finish talking on the phone and we'll be there for rehearsals.

From: Jongin

To: Jongin

What the ??? You saw it??? Was I obvious??? Do you think Krystal knows???

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

Easy on the ? I feel like you're hurting yourself by pressing them.

And no. I don't think Krystal knows and I don't think it's that obvious. Maybe because I've lived with you and that's how I know.

From: Jongin

To: Jongin

What am I going to do?! I'm getting married tomorrow!

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

I don't know.

I'm sorry dude. I know you need my help but I don't know what you should do. I don't want to make this kind of decision for you man.

But one thing I'm proud of is that you finally realized all this.

Wrong timing though.

From: Jongin

To: Jongin

Gee thanks a lot.

From: Sehun

 

To: Sehun

Hey, Jessica unnie ditched me for lunch. Her boyfriend's arriving. She can't wait to see Taecyeon Oppa.

So do you want to have lunch together? We can go over the reception details.

From: Krystal

To: Krystal

Hey back at you. And Isn't it bad luck to see the bride before the wedding?

From: Sehun

To: Krystal

Sweetie, we're getting married tomorrow. Not today. You can't see me tomorrow until I walk down the aisle.

From: Sehun

 

To: Krystal

Oh.

Okay.

I'll pick you up in an hour.

From: Sehun

 

Draft: Best_Man_Speech.doc

Good evening everyone. My name is Luhan and I am here in front of all of you as Sehun's best man to say a few words for the newly wed couple.

I've known Sehun since he was six. He was that annoying kid next door who would run around with a huge cowboy hat and a broom between his legs yelling "Giddyup!" and I'd throw him water balloons over the fence to shut him up. It earned me a smack or two with our own broom from my mother for doing that after. But it wasn't until he invited me over for his eighth birthday party did we really hung out together. And after spending detention a few weeks later did we really become
friends. Ever since then, I can't imagine my life without having a best friend like him.

I was always overprotective of Sehun. Even though I got him in trouble a lot, I would still watch out for his back. And I'm still protecting him from whatever he goes through. But now, right in front of me, as he sits there with his new wife Krystal who looks a little fat in that wrinkly white dress, I would like to hand the overprotective best friend who would take bullets for you and get in trouble with you role to Krystal. Krystal who will now be his new best friend. His new family. His new life.

But one thing Krystal will never have is the person who loves him since he was eight. Krystal will never be the person who went through hours of detention with him. She will never be the person who spent countless sleepovers and has seen Sehun at his worst, best and ridiculous state. Because that will always be me, Luhan, his space cowboy partner for life and his bestest bestest friend. Luhan who has loved him all this time and will always love him.

So I'd like to give a toast to Sehun and Krystal. May both of your lives be well but not as amazing and crazy as what Sehun and I had.

Thank you.

 

Final: Best_Man_Speech.doc

I would like to give a toast to Sehun and Krystal. May married life bring you blessings and more happiness in the years to come.

Thank you.

 

To: Sehun

Are you ready?

From: Jongin

To: Jongin

I can't breathe. I need Luhan.

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

Well he's not here right now. He's already at the venue. And we're all right outside. All you need to do is finish putting on the tux and then we can take pictures and .

From: Jongin

To: Jongin

Jongin, I am serious. I can't breathe. I can't look at Krystal right now and be okay.

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

What?! I thought you said you were okay! You said so yourself at the rehearsal yesterday.

From: Jongin

To: Jongin

Of course I had to say that. Krystal's family was right there.

Oh God. I don't think I can do this.

From: Sehun

To: Jongin

Where the are you guys?

From: Minseok

To: Minseok

We're having a slight problem right now but don't worry. We'll be there soon.

From: Jongin

To: Sehun

Where are you???

From: Luhan

 

 

Dear Mr. Oh Sehun,

Enclosed is the bill for the rental of the function room.

Sincerely,
SME Grand Plaza Hotel

 

Dear Mr. Oh Sehun,

We are so sorry that you and Ms. Krystal Jung were not able to taste the wonderful food selection we have prepared for you.

Enclosed is the bill for the catering services

Sincerely,

Kim Ryeowook
Kim Wedding and Corporate Catering

 

Dear Ms. Krystal Jung,

We are so sorry to hear you were not able to wear the dress we have designed for you.

We have already sent the bill of your shredded dress to Mr. Oh.

Sincerely,

Key and Zhou Mi's Bridal Gowns Inc

 

Dear Sehun,

You son of a I hope you burn in hell for leaving my daughter at the altar.

Mr. and Mrs. Jung

Dear Sehun,

I don't know why I'm writing to you right now. I don't even want to talk to you or see you anymore. What I just want to say is that I hope you're having a miserable time because unnie and I aren't. We're loving Milan.

With lots of hate,
Krystal

 

Minseok: I blame you
Luhan: I didn't do anything!
Minseok: Right.
Luhan: I'm just as shocked as you are!
Minseok: You are?
Luhan: I am! I don't even know what happened. You were there.
Minseok: Yes, I was there. I was there when Sehun's limousine arrived. I was there when Jongin emerged from it instead of Sehun and I was there when Krystal threw the bouquet at Jongin's face when he said Sehun isn't going to be there because he left for Taiwan and not coming back ever.
Minseok: Although I doubt he's in Taiwan. Where is he?
Luhan: I don't know.
Minseok: You don't know? That's a first. You always know where Sehun is.
Luhan: I don't. And that's what scares me because he's not replying to any of my emails.
Luhan: It's been three days. I thought I would still get to see him before I left Seoul but now I'm here and my inbox is still empty.
Minseok: What do you think happened?
Luhan: Well, a part of me thinks that maybe he felt the same silence I felt, realized what it meant and has finally understand that we belong to each other and he's just waiting for the right moment to confess about his true feelings.
Luhan: But then a rational part of my head also says he just chickened out and we were right. He wasn't ready to get married.
Minseok: I like your rational self better. It's less delusional.
Luhan: Minseok, come on. I don't know what to think here. What do you think happened?
Luhan: And now do I have a chance?
Luhan: Can I love him now?
Minseok: I give up. I don't know what you should do.
Minseok: But for starters, you should at least give him some time. He just ran away from a wedding.
Luhan: Fine. I'll just continue to send him emails then.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Where are you?

Sehun, you really need to come back. Hong Kong isn't your hiding place. It's too expensive to hide in there.

Your mother and father are worried. Minseok hyung, Kyungsoo hyung,
me... Luhan hyung. Yes, Luhan is worried and he's been emailing you non stop. Well, the both of us are.

All the payments for the wedding are already done. I did what you said and paid everything from your bank account. You have nothing to worry about when you come back here. Except maybe for Krystal's dad who's still out to get you. But don't worry. He won't kill you. He'll try but I don't think he'll do it.

Come home. You don't have to be ashamed of all this. It's alright to be gay. Just come home and you can talk to me. Or Luhan. He's really really worried.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Hi

Hey,

I got your emails. I read every single one of them. Even the ones marked as spam.

I'm sorry I wasn't able to email back. Or tell you where I was. And I'm sorry I only told Jongin. I promised you I would always tell you everything but I guess at that time I was in a hurry to get out of there and Jongin was the only one who can help me.

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I know how much you helped planned this wedding and how I almost threw a fit at you and the guys for not even supporting this thing but you were right. You were all right. I wasn't ready. I'm too young to get married and it was a spur of the moment decision. I'm sorry.

I'm in Hong Kong right now. For about two hours more. I'm at the airport and I'm ready to go home. I'll talk to you properly on chat or something when I get back. Just please don't be mad at me for not telling you anything. And I really am sorry for making you worry.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Everything's Going to be Fine

Finally. You replied to one of my emails. Now you have about 58 more of my emails to reply to and then I can forgive you for not telling me anything.

Are you alright? I hate that I didn't know what you were thinking. We could've all helped you out. You didn't have to run away. Minseok and I could've done something to wreck the wedding. You didn't have to do it yourself. Now you look like an .

And I'll wait. I'll stay up until you go online. We need to talk. Or if you need to talk and tell me something it's okay too.

 

Sehun: Hey
Luhan: You're alive.
Sehun: Barely
Sehun: I feel like I gained fifty years into my life.
Luhan: How are you doing gramps?
Sehun: Not funny.
Sehun: But oddly enough I feel great.
Luhan: Ooh. Why?
Sehun: I don't know. I feel like I'm suddenly free.
Luhan: And you really have no idea why?
Sehun: Maybe it's because I'm still single.
Luhan: Yes, that must be celebrated.
Sehun: It should. That's why I'm coming over to Beijing in two months to see you. I need to tell you something.
Luhan: That's great!
Luhan: But why wait for a month when you can see me now? And whatever it is you have to tell me, you can tell me now.
Sehun: The office still needs me to come in. They're like, we don't care if you ran away from your wedding. You have an inventory to fill. 
Sehun: So I'm coming there in two months.
Sehun: And I'd rather tell you in person than through instant messaging.
Luhan: You're right. Okay. I can wait.
Sehun: Hey, I've got to go. I'm dead tired. I'll email you again soon.
Sehun: And I'm really sorry for worrying you.
Luhan: It's fine. Go ahead and get some rest.
Luhan: I'm glad you're back, Sehun.
Sehun: I'm glad to be back too.

 

Hi Mr. Park,

Your mail got sent to me by accident and I'm returning it back. You must be the new guy who moved next door so the post still has trouble finding your door number.

And I noticed the mail is in Korean. I can understand the language since I've lived in Korea before so if you need any help around here, don't hesitate to ask.

Welcome to the building.

Your neighbor,
Luhan

Hi Luhan,

Thanks! You're a life saver. I needed those and here they are so just, thank you so much!

And oh, that's great! Because my boyfriend and I really want to look around since we're new here and we've decided on going to the National Museum first only we can't find it. We at directions. Can you maybe tell us where?

Thanks again!
Chanyeol

 

Minseok: Where were you?
Luhan: I was just out the whole afternoon with friends. Why?
Minseok: Friends? You don't have any friends aside from us.
Luhan: Ha ha that's funny.
Minseok: Kidding. Who are they?
Luhan: Chanyeol and Baekhyun. They're Koreans who decided to move here and teach. They're together together and they needed someone to go with them to the National Museum to just look around.
Luhan: They're fun to hang out with. Kind of loud. But fun.
Luhan: Except for the part where they knew I was also gay and still single so they're trying to hook me up with one of their friends.
Luhan: I said no though.
Minseok: Why not?
Luhan: I'm kind of in love with someone else. A certain Oh Sehun, remember him?
Minseok: Oh him. Well maybe you should forget about him.
Luhan: What?
Luhan: Why?
Minseok: Oh nothing. I was just suggesting that maybe it's a good idea to forget about him.
Luhan: Minseok, what is it?
Minseok: Nothing.
Luhan: Are you hiding something from me?
Minseok: Me? Hide something from you? Never!
Luhan: Minseok, seriously. What is it?
Luhan: Minseok?
Luhan: You get back online you er!

 

Jongin: You have a boyfriend?!
Sehun: He's not a boyfriend.
Sehun: He's just someone I met on the plane back to Seoul and invited over for dinner.
Jongin: Just like that? A stranger from some country you met is coming
over to our apartment for dinner?
Sehun: Technically, it's just my apartment now. You're living with Kyungsoo hyung.
Jongin: I'm still right next door and I still pay you rent so technically, it's still our apartment.
Jongin: Come to think of it, why am I still paying you rent?
Sehun: We'll talk about this later. I'm still at work.
Jongin: No. We're talking now. You're never around anymore.
Jongin: When has this been going on?
Sehun: A few weeks.
Jongin: Why haven't you told us anything?
Sehun: Zitao's a little... shy.
Jongin: But what about Luhan?
Sehun: What about him?
Jongin: Sehun...
Sehun: Alright, alright.
Sehun: It's still Luhan. It'll always be Luhan.
Jongin: Then what are you doing with this guy?
Sehun: I was thinking of dating someone else first before I actually decide on starting something with Luhan
Jongin: Why the would you do that?
Sehun: Because I'm new at this, okay? I haven't dated a guy before. What if I do it all wrong? What if I date Luhan all wrong? What if I mess things up? What if the first kiss is going to be bad? What if the isn't good and he'll dump me for it?
Jongin: So you're going to practice all that with this guy?
Jongin: You're supposed to be smarter than all your friends combined and you're thinking about this??? Luhan wouldn't care if you kissed him all wrong!
Sehun: How would you know? For all we know, Luhan doesn't even feel the same way about me.
Jongin: You haven't talked to him?!
Sehun: I chickened out, okay!
Jongin: Then what the hell are you going to tell him when you see him in two months?
Sehun: That I'm gay?
Jongin: That's it?
Jongin: That's the only thing you'll tell him?
Sehun: Yes. And then we'll see how it goes from there.
Jongin: I feel like hurting you right now.
Sehun: Do you have any other bright ideas?
Jongin: Hmmm, let's see. How about breaking things off with this Zitao guy as earlier as let's say, now? Before you hurt this poor innocent stranger? And then maybe go to Beijing, look Luhan in the eye and tell him how much you have loved him since you were eight and you don't know how to love any other person except him?
Sehun: That's cheesy
Jongin: That's the smartest thing I've thought of for years.
Sehun: It's not that simple. What if Luhan doesn't like me?
Jongin: You'll never know if you don't say anything.
Sehun: But what if he really doesn't? What if he doesn't feel the same way because I'm just his best friend and that's all I'll ever be? What if what happens next causes a chain reaction like our friendship probably drifting apart because I confessed to the wrong person and everything's going to be all awkward.
Sehun: I don't want that Jongin. I don't want to lose Luhan.
Jongin: But what if that doesn't happen? What if it happens according to plan? Like Luhan loving you back and you two living happily ever after?
Sehun: It never works out that way Jongin.
Sehun: Nothing like that ever works out that way.
Jongin: You'll never know until you try.
Sehun: I'll think about it.
Sehun: Gotta go. Old man Jungsoo is doing his rounds.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: YOU'RE THE WORST BEST FRIEND EVER

I thought we had this best friend thing figured out perfectly. I thought we were supposed to tell each other stuff and not keep any secrets. But then I have to find out from Minseok that you're seeing someone?! A guy at that?!

You know what, that's not important. What's important is that you're gay and you didn't tell me?! When I found out I was gay I told you! How come you didn't tell me?!

Is this what you wanted to tell me in two months? Because if it is, don't come here anymore. You're wasting your ticket.

I don't care how ridiculous this is. I don't care if we're in our 20s and we act like we're still in grade school fighting over this best friend thing. Because you should be telling me stuff and not keep this thing from me at all.

 

To: Jongin

Luhan's mad at me :(

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

You deserve it

From: Jongin

 

Minseok: Aww come on Luhan. You can't be mad at Sehun just for this.
Luhan: I'm not mad at him. That was all just an act.
Minseok: Oh.
Minseok: Then why are you being such a ?
Luhan: I'm jealous, okay?
Luhan: He's gay.
Luhan: He's seeing someone.
Luhan: But it's not me.
Luhan: Do you see what's wrong with this picture?
Minseok: Maybe he has his reasons?
Luhan: Oh yeah? Then what is it? What other reason could he possibly have for dating someone else who, as what you've said, looks tall with gorgeous hair and eyes and who you spotted at the grocery downtown with his hand clasped in the other, laughing as they bought rice cakes and kimchi?
Minseok: I may have been wrong. He may have looked ugly.
Luhan: Minseok... my point is... he's gay. He's seeing someone.
Luhan: It's not ME
Minseok: I'm sorry Lulu.
Minseok: This is why I want you to forget about him.
Luhan: I can't, okay.
Luhan: This is Sehun.
Luhan: I thought we were going to be something special. I thought that the silence meant something. That that stare held some message. That he felt it too and knew what it was.
Luhan: Well I guess I was wrong.
Minseok: Maybe it did mean something. And he's just a little slow in figuring things out.
Luhan: Well how long do I have to wait? How long does he figure it out? When I'm thirty? Forty?
Luhan: Okay I sounded like an impatient brat right there. I'm sorry.
Minseok: You don't have to wait, you know. You can just tell him.
Luhan: He's seeing someone already. That hardly seems fair if I tell him I love him now.
Luhan: And what if he doesn't feel the same way?
Minseok: I don't know Luhan. I don't know how to answer that.
Luhan: I'm kind of glad I'm not the only one who doesn't know the
answer to that either.

To: Chanyeol

Hey, got your message. Yeah I can take you guys at Donghuamen Night
Market tonight. You'll love it there.

And about that guy you and Baekhyun wanted to set me up with? I was
thinking maybe you guys should bring him along tonight.

From: Luhan

To: Luhan

Yes!

So it's a double date then. This is going to be fun.

Kris will like you.

From: Chanyeol

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: I'm Sorry

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry I didn't tell you I was gay. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about Zitao and how we've been going out ever since I got back from Hong Kong. I'm sorry about everything and I don't think this is a stupid grade school fight. I was wrong and I'm really sorry.

So please tell me that you're not dating the guy we've all hated since we were little. Please tell me Minseok hyung was just kidding. Please tell me that dating Wu Goody Goody Yifan is a joke. Please tell me this isn't true and you're just playing some sort of joke on me for not telling you stuff.

I deserve it Xiao Lu. I deserve the mean joke.

So you can stop now and tell me you forgive me and we're still best friends and say you were kidding. Okay?

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: I'm Sorry

I forgive you. Of course I forgive you. I can't stay mad at you for long you know. Maybe I was angry and unreasonable for even getting mad at you just for that and I'm sorry too. And of course we're still best friends, Sehun. You are always going to be my best friend.

I see Minseok has already told you guys even when I told him not to yet. And he wasn't joking. I really am seeing Wu Goody Goody Yifan. But he's not the goody goody that we know, Sehun. He's changed. He's Kris now. Kris Wu. Canada has changed him. He's a funny, charming, y gentleman and he has no trace of being Yifan the class .

I know it's hard to take in. I had a hard time taking it in too. When I saw him at Donghuamen that night, my jaw nearly dropped on the floor. Because here is this man, this guy who ruined my life, standing in front of me.

He seemed surprised to see me too. Chanyeol introduced him to me as Kris and I said no, his name is Yifan. Baekhyun was surprised that I knew him and Yifan chuckled and said, "He's right. My name is Yifan." But then he added how he's known as Kris now.

He's different. He's not who he used to be anymore. Don't worry I managed to hurl my bubble tea at him for being such a to us back then. And Chanyeol had yelled what the was I doing. And you know what Yifan said? He said he deserved it and that I should probably stick those barbecued scorpions they sell at the market up his eye too. One for all those times he told on us and sent us to detention.

He had a reason for all those things he did to us. I've only gone out with him twice but he explained everything. Why he did what he did and would you believe he did all those things because he used to have a crush on me? I know you're laughing while reading this. I did too when he told me. He didn't know how to make friends with me and I just hung out with Minseok and you and Jongin so he kind of just became an which he realized he shouldn't have been.

He's taking me out again next week once he's done with the first part of his research paper. He's a professor at a University in Canada and he's here to finish his paper on Asian Studies. Chanyeol and Baekhyun know him because they went to the same University and now they're all staying here. Well, Yifan has to return when he's done with his research. But I don’t know when that will happen.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you all this. I didn't want to tell Minseok first. He just kind of figured it out when I sent an email to Kris and accidentally sent it to him instead.

Again, I forgive you. Best friends, okay?

 

Sehun: This is not okay.
Sehun: Luhan seeing Yifan is not okay.
Minseok: Do you think this makes us happy?
Jongin: It's got to be someone else.
Jongin: Luhan can't be seeing the dickhead we all hated in school.
Minseok: He is. He sent me a photo. Want to see?
Attached: 1 image
Jongin: Wow he's hot.
Sehun: Jongin, you're supposed to be on our side.
Jongin: I just said he's hot. I didn't say I want to be friends with him.
Minseok: He is hot. He changed a lot.
Sehun: That's what Luhan said too.
Sehun: How can Luhan fall for an excuse like "because he used to have a crush on me"
Sehun: I wasn't laughing when I read that.
Sehun: Did any of you did?
Minseok: No
Jongin: I did
Jongin: What?
Sehun: Ok, what are we going to do?
Minseok: Yeah, what's the plan?
Jongin: What do you mean what are we going to do?
Sehun: He's seeing Yifan, Jongin.
Jongin: So?
Minseok: So he's dating our friend which he shouldn't because he's the guy who got us expelled!
Sehun: And ruined all our lives
Minseok: And the reason why Luhan is in Beijing.
Jongin: Okay. I get it.
Jongin: But what if he isn't a dickhead now?
Sehun: Seriously, who's side are you on?
Jongin: Yours!
Sehun: You're not helping.
Jongin: Just think about it.
Jongin: For one minute, think about what Luhan said. That Yifan used to be a because he liked Luhan and how he's sorry for it now.
Jongin: What if he's a changed man?
Minseok: I don't need a minute for that. I still hate him.
Sehun: Me too.
Jongin: Alright.
Minseok: So what do we do?
Sehun: Stop him?
Jongin: How?
Sehun: One of us should talk some sense into him.
Jongin: I think Minseok hyung should do it.
Minseok: Why me? He listens to Sehun better anyway.
Jongin: Because Sehun's going to let his jealousy get in the way of things.
Minseok: What?
Minseok: What jealousy?
Sehun: What Jongin meant is that as best friend, I might get jealous of Kris. Because he'll take most of Luhan's time now.
Sehun: I'm not the only one, right? You'd be jealous too hyung.
Minseok: Of course. Luhan's our best friend. Not his.
Sehun: Right
Jongin: Ok so that settles things then? Sehun will talk to him?
Minseok: Yep
Sehun: Okay

 

Jongin: I am so sorry I slipped.
Sehun: You're not allowed in the group chat until all of this is over.
Jongin: That means I'm not allowed in the group chat forever?
Jongin: Sehun?
Jongin: Aw come on.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: How's it going?

Hey, is my friend still alive? Or has Yifan locked him in his own room or drowned him in the tub?

What's up with you man? I haven't heard from you in a long time. The last I heard you and Yifan were going off somewhere to some trip again. Where did you go? Did you have fun?

We miss you Lulu. I know Sehun has talked to you about him. And you said not to worry and that you're fine. But Yifan isn't someone we all trust. You know that.

And what happened to you liking Sehun? What happened to the silence and the stare? That can't have disappeared in just a few months.

We're all worried about you. And we really really miss you. Sehun especially. Have you even checked up on him? He broke up with Zitao a few weeks ago. Have you asked how he's doing?

Write back soon. I miss your ugly name popping up on my inbox.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: I'm Very Much Alive

I miss you too Minseok. And what do you mean ugly name? Your name is uglier than mine.

I'm doing great. Kris and I got back from a roadtrip. We rented a car and drove all the way to Shanghai. It was fun. We met a lot of people on the way over there, ate good food and took a lot of pictures. I attached a few for you guys to see.

Ha ha. Very funny. Kris hasn't drowned me in the tub nor has he locked me in my room but he has been flooding me with gifts actually. Not expensive things. It's just those little things like cooking breakfast for me, taking me to see the stars, sending me flowers and all that cheesy stuff I used to hate. I still hate them. But whenever Kris does it, he just ends up being so sweet.

I know you guys still don't trust him. And I don't expect you all to do so this fast. But maybe you'll see what I'm seeing right now in the future and realize he really isn't the Yifan we all grew up to hate. He's said sorry countless times and I think he made up for it. Well, to me. Maybe when we all get together some time in, I don't know when, you'll all see he's a really cool and sweet kind of guy.

And wait, Sehun broke up with Zitao? He hasn't told me anything. The last time I heard from him he was telling me how I should be careful around Kris.

I still love him, Minseok. I don't think that will ever go away. It's Sehun. How can I stop loving him? But you know how there are some things that I guess will never be? Like remember that time we wanted to go the carnival and everything during that day kept on stopping us? You forgetting your wallet so we had to go back to your house and get it. And then I spilled orange juice on my shirt while I was waiting for you so I had to go change into one of your clothes. And then when we left and took the bus and it broke down so we had to find another one. Until we eventually just gave up and went home and then we decided to watch TV when we saw the news that one of the rides we were looking forward to riding broke down so we were both relieved we didn't went there anymore.

That's how I feel like things aren't going to go so well with Sehun if we do end up together. I love him. But then he was about to get married. Then he didn't. I had a chance. He ran off. Got himself a boyfriend. I didn't have a chance anymore. Found Kris. And then he breaks up with Zitao. But I'm no longer free.

I think I've finally accepted the fact that we can't be together. Everything keeps on playing with us. I'm driving myself around in circles waiting for a chance with him but I think I'm done. Kris is here, I'm sort of happy. I'm just trying to enjoy not having any drama in my life at all.

Sehun will find someone soon. He'll be alright. We'll still be best friends. I don't think I can stop being friends with him. We've all gone through so much.

That silence and that stare will always stay with me. I'll never forget how that felt and it saddens me to think that I haven't done anything about it. But it's gone now. And I'm moving on. You said so yourself, I should forget him. Maybe I could now that Kris is here.

Sorry for not writing more often. I will soon.

Kris says hi. He was the one who told me I had a message because he was using my laptop and my mail was open so it's actually because of him that I wrote back. See, he's not a bad guy.

Miss you and Jongin and Sehun.

Attached: 5 Images

 

Sehun: Luhan?
Luhan: Hey!
Luhan: I miss you.
Sehun: I do too. How are you?
Luhan: Stuffed. I just got back from Chanyeol and Baekhyun's place. Kris cooked lunch for us. He's a great chef.
Sehun: I meant how are you these past few days but telling me just your lunch was fine too. I'm happy he's feeding you well.
Luhan: Oh. Well I'm okay.
Luhan: How about you? I heard you and Zitao broke up.
Sehun: Sorry I didn't get to tell you that.
Sehun: It was no big deal. There wasn't anything serious between us anyway.
Luhan: Good.
Luhan: Because it was just so soon for you to have someone again.
Sehun: Yeah. I'm still reeling from all the bills I have to pay.
Luhan: Do you regret running away from your wedding now?
Sehun: Nope. I love having this life. It's perfect.
Sehun: Almost perfect.
Luhan: Is anything wrong?
Sehun: No not really.
Sehun: How's things with Yifan? I saw the pictures you sent Minseok. He showed them to us when Jongin, Kyungsoo and I came over to his place for lunch last week.
Luhan: Things are okay. Can you believe we've been dating each other for almost a month and a half now?
Sehun: No. I can't.
Luhan: Ha ha
Luhan: But it's all going to end soon anyway.
Sehun: It is?
Sehun: Why?
Luhan: He's already finished with his research and he's flying to Canada soon.
Sehun: Really? Bummer.
Luhan: I thought you didn't like him?
Sehun: Well, if he makes you happy, I could learn to like him.
Sehun: But he's leaving soon so I might hate him again.
Luhan: I'm rolling my eyes at you while I'm typing this.
Sehun: Are your eyes on the floor?
Luhan: Almost.
Sehun: Be sure to pick it up. Yifan might step on them.
Luhan: I miss you man.
Sehun: I miss you too. We don't talk like this anymore.
Luhan: I know. What happened to us?
Sehun: We got busy I guess.
Luhan: Maybe we can do something soon. All four of us.
Sehun: I'd like that. They'd like it too.
Luhan: Let's do it soon.
Luhan: I have to go. Kris and I are going to play basketball.
Sehun: I hope you beat him at it.
Luhan: Maybe if I was a few inches taller I could.
Luhan: But thanks.
Sehun: You're welcome.

 

To: Jongin

yeah! Yifan is leaving for Canada soon.

Do you know what this means?

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

That I can get back in the group chat now?

From: Jongin

 

To: Minseok

Yifan is leaving for Canada soon!

From: Sehun

 

To: Sehun

FINALLY

From: Minseok

 

Luhan,

I'm at the rooftop. Come join me when you're awake.

Kris

 

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: READ THIS NOW!!!

Oh my God Oh my God OH MY GOD.

Sehun, you wouldn't believe what just happened today.

So you know how every Saturday I always wake up late because I help
out down at the cafe during Friday evenings? Well today, I woke up a
little earlier than usual. I don't know why. Maybe it was because
there was a window open and I felt cold. So I had to force myself to
get out of bed to close it.

But I couldn't go back to sleep so I decided to take a shower instead
when I saw a note taped to my bathroom mirror. It was Kris asking me
to go to the rooftop if I was awake. I was surprised because I knew he
stayed over at a research facility that night to finish his papers and
it was still a bit early for him to be here. And then I realized he must’ve been the one who opened the window to wake me up. He has a copy of the keys to my apartment you see. So I went up with my blanket still wrapped around me and my face looking so bloated. I looked ridiculous and If you were there I know you would've laughed.

Anyway, I went up the rooftop, dreading the place and cursing at Kris under my breath for wanting to meet up there because it was so cold. But I was also very much curious at why he wanted me there. I thought maybe it was another one of his romantic things and we'd have breakfast overlooking the city. Or we'd have there like we did the last time we went star gazing. Although I hoped we would move it down to my bedroom because there is no way I can do that with him in this weather.

But it wasn't. When I got there, the whole place was empty. I was confused for a bit and just decided to go back down because I was freezing my off when I turned around and he was standing there with a smile on his face.

It was so unfair how he looked so handsome and gorgeous that early in the morning, all bundled up and fresh and I was standing there in sweatpants with my blanket and your old tattered tshirt that you left all those years ago. (Yeah I still sleep on it). I asked him what was he doing out here in the cold and he approached me and didn’t waste any time in asking what did I want to do in life but never got around to doing it.

I told him that was easy. To graduate high school. He chuckled and said what if I was given the chance to finish it. For free.

That actually sounded too good to be true. I mean, how do you finish high school for free anyway? Unless you're an academic scholar but I know I could never be one. I'm not that smart.

So I asked him what he meant exactly and to hurry it up because I couldn't feel my fingers. And he came up to me, took his scarf and wrapped it around my neck and asked if I would like to go to Canada with him and finish my high school there for free.

I was stunned. I didn't know how to respond to that. So he explained while I was in shock that the university liked his research and would like to apply him for a doctorate degree. He turned it down because he said he'd like to give it to me. Not the degree. The budget that they would give to him would be given to me just to finish high school and pay for my first year in any university I would apply. Kris said he felt like it was his fault that I wasn't able to do this for myself because of the things he caused back then. And he'd like to repay me with this.

Moving to Canada. Graduating high school. Possibly getting a degree. And I don't have to pay anything for it. Can you believe this, Sehun? I might get to finish high school! Kris ruining my life back then is paying off!

I know moving to Canada is a big thing but I won't be there for long. Just until I graduate high school and after university so that would be like five years. But isn't this great? I'm finally becoming a full grown adult!

I couldn't wait to share the good news with you. We're leaving in two days. I know. It's so soon. But classes start next week and Kris wants me to get settled in. I'm living with him since his place is close to the bus stop that takes me to the school.

I'll email Minseok and Jongin the good news right after. I really wanted you to be the first one to know.

Email me back what you think. I can't wait!

 

To: Jongin

Have you read Luhan's email???

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

I'm on the subway. I'll be home soon so I'll read it then

From: Jongin

 

Sehun: What am I going to do?
Sehun: What are we all going to do??
Minseok: I'm as shocked as you are right now.
Minseok: Where the hell is Jongin?
Sehun: Train broke down. He'll be online later.
Sehun: , Minseok. This is history repeating itself all over again!
Minseok: How so?
Sehun: Luhan is moving away and it's all Yifan's fault.
Sehun: He's still a .
Minseok: But if you look at it in a different way, Luhan's not losing anything. He'll finally be able to graduate. Get a degree.
Sehun: What do you mean Luhan's not losing anything. He's losing us! Before you know it, there won't be any Christmas greetings because Wu ing Yifan has him all to himself.
Minseok: You're right.
Minseok: God I hate what's happening to all of us right now.
Sehun: I have a feeling Yifan has this all planned out.
Sehun: He may like Luhan but he never liked us.
Minseok: What are we going to do?
Sehun: I need to stop him.
Minseok: How?
Sehun: I'm going to Beijing.
Minseok: Are you serious?!
Sehun: Yes. I'm going to Beijing.
Sehun: But don't tell him.
Minseok: Why the hell not?!
Sehun: I don't want Yifan to know I'm coming.

 

Jongin: What's up?

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: I Hope You're Sitting Down While Reading This

I got your email. We all did. We were in quite a shock when we read it. I don't think I've ever been this shocked since I found out you and Minseok made out in school. Funny how something different that happened a long time ago can bring out the same thing now.

I don't know what to say to this Luhan. Well, I actually have a lot to say. Like so much that I don't think yehet.com has the capability to store huge amount of words in an email.

I'm happy you got this opportunity. I really am. You can finally graduate high school and I know I've always been the one pushing you to finish it. And free tuition for your first year in university too. I'm as happy as you are.

But the moving away bit. The part where you're going to be in a different country again. With my least favorite person in the world. That, that kind of scares me.

I don't think I have to tell you how I feel about this. You moving away again is something I never want to relive. You're already miles away from me. How would I be able to deal with you being even more apart than this now?

There should be a dozen high schools here who would take you. Or a university that you like. If money is the problem, Jongin, Minseok and I would gladly lend you some. I know how much you hate that but we promise we'll let you pay us back.

You're happy about this. I get that. But I don't think you should make this decision by yourself. I think you should talk about it with the people who cares about you too. What about your parents? Have you talked to them about this at all? Do they even know what's happening with you?

How about Minseok? He's happy and scared about this too. Not to mention, freaked out. Jongin... Well, I don't know if Jongin has read it already but he must be reading your email now and getting shocked as well.

And me. Luhan, what about me? How the hell am I going to be okay with you living on the other side of the world? I'm still not over you living away from me and now the distance is even wider. What will happen to me?

I'm being selfish. I know that. But I don't care. And you know what, I'm just going to be completely selfish right now and say that I don't want you to go. And it's not just because you're my best friend or that I hate Yifan. Well, maybe that too. But it's because I won't be able to stand it if you left and became happy without me. I wouldn't be able to stand it if you lived a new life without me in it, without me by your side, without me laughing and talking and just be your best friend. And you
know why, Luhan? You know why I don't want you to go? It's because I love you, Luhan. I always have.

I may be such an right now for saying all that so quick and in email too. But I can't think of any other way to make you stay. I booked a flight to Beijing tomorrow afternoon. And I know your flight leaves a few hours after that. But stay. Stay in Beijing. Stay for me.

I love you Luhan. Don't go. Wait for me. Please.

 

Sehun: I did it.
Sehun: I told Luhan I love him.
Jongin: In email?
Sehun: Yes. I spent the whole night writing it.
Jongin: That is such a pathetic thing to do
Sehun: I have no other choice, okay? He's leaving tomorrow.
Jongin: Can you even imagine what Luhan would feel right now if he read your email?
Sehun: Yes.
Sehun: He would be angry.
Jongin: Among others.
Sehun: I don't care. Let him be angry at me. But at least he knows now and knowing Luhan, he'll think about it and probably stay.
Jongin: Probably? You're not even sure!
Sehun: I don't care anymore. I told him. My conscience is clear.
Sehun: he's online

Luhan: Sehun?
Sehun: Hey...
Luhan: I can't believe you.
Sehun: I know. I'm sorry.
Luhan: What kind of a friend are you?
Sehun: I know. I'm a rotten friend. I'm the worst friend ever.
Luhan: I waited a whole day for you to respond!
Sehun: What?
Luhan: Your reply! I waited a whole day for you to reply to my email and you never did!
Sehun: What?
Luhan: You read my email about the move, didn't you?
Sehun: Yes
Luhan: Then what took you so long!
Sehun: You didn't get my email?
Luhan: Would I be throwing a fit if I did?
Sehun: You waited a whole day?
Luhan: Yes. I waited a whole day.
Luhan: And then I had to start packing my things up so I had Kris wait in front of my laptop for your email.
Luhan: But you never replied!
Sehun: Yifan sat in front of your laptop for you?
Luhan: Yes
Sehun: Wu Yifan?
Luhan: Yes
Sehun: The guy we all knew back then Wu Yifan
Luhan: Where are you going with this?
Sehun: Hold on

Sehun: Luhan never got my email
Jongin: What?
Sehun: Luhan never got my email
Sehun: He said he never got a response yet he waited a whole day for it.
Jongin: That can't be possible. An email always gets sent.
Jongin: Maybe it went to spam
Sehun: He said Yifan sat in front of the laptop and waited for my response while he packed his stuff up.
Sehun: What do you think about that?
Jongin: Oh.
Jongin: That .
Sehun: Exactly.
Jongin: Well what are you going to do now?
Sehun: Go to Beijing.
Sehun: You were right. I can't tell him I love him in chat now.
Sehun: Brb

Sehun: You know what, never mind. My email probably got lost or
something but I'm here now and I can tell you what I thought about
your move.
Luhan: Okay
Sehun: I don't like it.
Luhan: Of course you wouldn't
Sehun: So don't leave?
Luhan: Didn't you read about the free high school bit?
Sehun: Yes and that's cool and all and I'm happy about that but stay.
Luhan: I thought you wanted this too.
Sehun: I do.
Sehun: Look, I need to tell you something but I don't want it to be
over the net.
Luhan: You're calling long distance?
Sehun: No.
Luhan: Then what do you mean?
Luhan: Sehun?
Luhan: Sehun?

To: Jongin

I have no connection!

Let me use your internet.

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

We have no connection either. The whole city is having some sort of
internet maintenance.

From: Jongin

To: Jongin

You've got to be ing kidding me!

From: Jongin

 

To: Minseok

Are you at Jeju? Please say you're at Jeju.

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

Yes I'm in Jeju. Why? You need those orange chocolates again?

From: Minseok

To: Minseok

No. I got cut off while I was talking to Luhan. The whole city doesn't have any internet connection right now and I need you to stop him. Stop him from going to Canada with Yifan.

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

Wait a minute. I thought you were going to stop him yourself? Didn't you tell him you were going to Beijing?

From: Minseok

To: Minseok

Yifan did something. I can't explain now but Yifan did something and Luhan never got my email.

My flight's in a few hours. Stall him for me while I get there

From: Sehun

 

To: Sehun

What the ?

Okay, let me get online.

Go get your to Beijing now!

From: Minseok

 

Minseok: You're still here!
Luhan: Yes but I'm leaving in like half an hour.
Luhan: I'm going to miss you guys!!!
Minseok: Don't leave!
Luhan: Aww I know you'll miss me too, Minseokkie.
Minseok: No, you really can't leave!
Luhan: Why?
Minseok: Because we're your best friends and Yifan is stealing you from us!
Luhan: Okay, I know you guys hate Kris but come on. He's doing me a huge favor here.
Minseok: Stop calling him Kris! He's Wu Yifan! And I don't care. I don't care what he's offering you. Luhan, don't leave. Please.
Luhan: Minseok, it's not like I'm leaving for good. I'll be back in around five years. I may take some time off to visit you guys during the holidays
Luhan: By the way, have you heard from Sehun? He just suddenly went offline yesterday
Minseok: Seoul's internet connection is down. Sehun asked me to stop you.
Luhan: Oh.
Luhan: You guys aren't very supportive of this are you.
Minseok: Luhan, I don't want to argue with you right now. But please, don't leave. Don't leave with Yifan. He did something. I don't know what but he did something.
Luhan: What did he do?
Minseok: Sehun said he sent you an email.
Luhan: Yeah but he said it got lost or something
Minseok: Well it didn't.
Minseok: Yifan did something so you wouldn't get it.
Luhan: Wow. This is getting ridiculous.
Luhan: Kris wouldn't do anything like that.
Minseok: See! It's starting now!
Minseok: This is going to be us in a few months! None of us will be friends anymore because you don't trust us and you listen to Yifan instead!
Luhan: Hey, that's not fair.
Luhan: Fine. If it makes you happy, I'll just ask him if he got Sehun's email.
Minseok: DON'T
Luhan: What now
Minseok: Don't ask him but look around in your trash or stuff. Just don't ask him.
Luhan: Why shouldn't I ask him?
Luhan: Minseok?
Luhan: Minseok?

To: Sehun

Damn it. Now my connection's gone.

From: Minseok

To: Minseok

Did you stall him?

From: Sehun

To: Sehun

I did my best.

Where are you?

From: Minseok

To: Minseok

On the way to the airport.

I'll check if there's a connection there.

From: Sehun

 

Sehun: He's not online! Why isn't he online?!
Minseok: I don't know. Did you try calling him?
Sehun: Yes. But he must have deactivated his number by now.
Minseok: Can you catch an earlier flight?
Sehun: Everything's booked. I already moved my flight to the earliest one possible.
Minseok: We can't lose him again Sehun.
Sehun: Don't you think I know that?
Minseok: You have to get there and bring him back. You're the only one who can do it. You're the only one he's shared that weird silence with. He'll listen to you!
Sehun: What?
Minseok: What?
Sehun: What do you mean?
Minseok: What do you mean what did I mean?
Sehun: The silence?
Minseok: I didn't say that.
Sehun: Hyung, this is a chat. I can read our whole conversation.
Minseok: Then why are you asking me again?
Sehun: Hyung!
Sehun: How did you know about the silence??? Did Jongin tell you?
Minseok: Jongin didn't tell me anything. Luhan did.
Minseok: But don't tell him I told you that.
Sehun: Luhan told you?
Sehun: Luhan felt the silence too?
Minseok: Oh my God so you did feel it!
Sehun: You knew all this time?!
Sehun: And I wasted every chance I got???
Minseok: Dude you're stupid.
Sehun: I am. I am stupid!
Sehun: My flight's being called. I have to go.
Minseok: Bring him back Sehun!!!

 

To: Luhan

Our cab is here. Need any help up there?

From: Kris

To: Kris

I'll be down in a minute. Just going to grab my laptop.

From: Luhan

 

To: Kris

Oh wait. Hold on I'll just email Sehun one last time before we leave.

From: Luhan

 

Minseok: Did Sehun make it???
Jongin: I hope so. I can't contact him. His phone's dead.
Minseok: That means he's on the plane already. Yey!
Minseok: I still can't believe he felt the silence too.
Jongin: And I can't believe you knew about it but didn't tell me!
Jongin: We could've sorted this out ourselves!
Minseok: We really need to gossip about our friends more often.

 

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Thank You

I don't want to waste my time writing a long letter for you so I'll make this as quick as I can.

First of all, I want you to know that I didn't think it was possible for someone to be an all his life. I thought that you being an would just be until high school where everyone is excused to be one. But you're still an and it amazes me how you can still manage to be one after all these years.

Second, If you even thought you could break me and my friends apart then you're wrong. Reading my messages? Deleting them? You will never replace Sehun in my life with just a single click of a button. I may have been the stupid one for even believing you cared about my friends but I'm glad they didn't. I'm glad they saw right through you.

Third, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being your usual dickhead self. Thank you for making me realize this early that you will never be the kind of person I could ever be with.

And thank you for not deleting my email trash bin.

So you can kiss that life you've prepared for us goodbye. And I hope your nose still hurts so you'll know you can't ever step foot in Beijing or try to see me again. My fist would love to punch your face if given the chance to do it a second time.

P.S. - Don't worry. Chanyeol and Baekhyun still think you're a saint. But wait till I tell them what you just did.

* * *

Luhan quickly signs out of his account as soon as he's sent the email to Kris. No, Yifan, he thinks as he rushes to his bedroom and grabs his jacket, willing his heart to calm down from everything he just read today.

It was a good thing Minseok warned him. And it was a good thing he decided to open his trash bin before leaving for the airport with Yifan. That . Deleting his messages so he wouldn't read what Sehun sent.

Sehun.

Luhan's heart starts beating furiously again as he recalls the email he sent him. He remembers trembling in happiness and in frustration as he read everything. He had to read it twice, three times to believe it. He loves me!

Luhan feels like a stupid fool for even doubting that Sehun didn't love him back. A silence like that should've been the most loudest thing he's ever heard but he still didn't do anything about it.

No matter, Luhan thinks, putting on his shoes. Sehun's coming here. I'll get to see him. And we'll talk. We'll talk like we've never had a single conversation in all our lives.

The phone in his living room rings and Luhan dashes towards it. His cab is downstairs. He hopes Sehun's flight gets delayed so he can be there in time.

I'm coming, Sehun. Luhan grabs his keys. Wait for me.

He wrenches the door open and stops in his tracks, his eyes growing wide as he sees who's standing on the other side, knuckle hovering over his door and his face looking flushed from the cold and from running, Luhan supposes. He looks out of breath and before Luhan can ask him what in the world is the matter with him, Sehun cups his face in his cold hands and kisses him.

It takes awhile for Luhan to realize what is going on. That his best friend is here, the guy who he grew up with playing cowboy games, teaching him soccer, and getting the both of them in trouble, is kissing him right here in his doorstep. He hears someone ushering their kids out of the hallway and someone telling them to get a room and take it inside but Luhan doesn't even care. Because Sehun is kissing him and it just feels so so good.

Sehun let's go just when Luhan feels a little dizzy and he looks at the tall boy in a daze.

"Wha... What are you doing here?" Luhan asks, wondering why his voice is shaking. Hell, his whole body is shaking.

Sehun, seeing this, releases his hold on his face and holds both of his hands instead.

"I'm stupid." He starts, still a little breathless but Luhan knows it's not from running over here anymore. His eyes are glistening and twinkling at the same time and Luhan can only look up at him, loving the way they look.

"I've been so stupid." Sehun swallows hard before continuing. "I should've told you. I should've said something about the silence and the stare."

He felt that too?

"I shouldn't have gone to Hong Kong. ," Sehun laughs, a nervous frustrated laugh. "I'm supposed to be the smarter one between the two of us. But I wasn't."

"Hey," Luhan whispers, smiling as he releases one hand and cups Sehun's face. "It's okay."

"Is it?" Sehun asks, voice a little hurried now. "Because you can't leave. You can't leave me."

Oh. Luhan blinks up at him. He doesn't know.

"Sehun," Luhan starts, trying to explain that he's not leaving anymore but Sehun cuts him off, shaking his head.

"You left once and I wasn't able to do anything about it." Sehun continues, tightening his grip around Luhan's hand. "And now you're leaving again."

"Sehun, listen -"

"And I'm doing something about it now. I'm here. I'm stopping you."

"Sehun -"

"Don't leave, Luhan. Because I love you." Sehun says, looking deep into his eyes. "I love you. I've loved you since I was eight and I'm stupid for only realizing this now. I love you."

Luhan doesn't stop him anymore and he stands there listening to these words he had never expected Sehun to tell him.

"You love me?" Luhan asks, still not believing a word he’s saying even if he’s said it a lot of times already in the past five minutes.

"Yes, I do. I know it's ridiculous to say I can't live without you but I really can't. I wouldn't know who to call if I needed any help. I would get lost most of the time. I'll never know how to laugh anymore. I wouldn't know what to do if I get in any trouble. Jongin and Minseok hyung would help me but then they'll probably get themselves in the same trouble as I am in and that's great and all but,"

Luhan half chuckles and half sobs as he pulls Sehun closer to him and Sehun smiles.

"You're my best friend." Sehun says slowly, placing a quick kiss to his lips that sends Luhan's insides coiling in happiness. "And I've fallen in love with my best friend."

Luhan's heart can't help but jump at this again.

"So stay." Sehun looks at him and Luhan can only look back, remembering the stare they once shared. 

"Stay and love me."

There is silence as Luhan just holds Sehun's strong gaze. A silence that Luhan didn't think would come his way again. But it's a different kind of silence now. A silence that's ushering him to say something back, to fill the space around them now because he can. He can.

"I love you." Luhan says in a heartbeat and the worried lines on Sehun's face are replaced with a wide smile that makes Luhan chest simply explode with overwhelming feelings. "I love you. And I'm never leaving you again."

They look at each other for a moment and laugh before their lips meet in a joyful kiss, both still chuckling in between kissing each other at the stupidity they've been through, hands clutching the other tight, afraid of letting go and someone yells at them again to take it inside already.

And this time, they do.

end

 

A/N:

This is inspired by a book called “Love, Rosie” It’s written by Cecilia Ahern who’s known for the book “P.S. I Love You.”

It was written the same way. Letters. Notes being passed. Emails. Chats. But the ones in the story were a guy and a girl lol. Mine is just happy gay HunHan. XD There’s also a few stuff that’s the same but not all of them.

I am so sorry for making Kris an . u_u

Aaaand isn’t this fluff??? :D I have successfully written fluff, right???

\O/