09. RENDEZVOUS

SEHUN

I try to call Soorin’s number over and over again but she doesn’t pick up my calls. Where is she? She usually lets me know if something happens between her and Kris hyung but this time, she doesn’t say anything to me. No, she isn’t angry to me anymore. She totally understands that I didn’t really mean what I said that day. Everything is good between us so there is no reason for her to keep this from me. I rush to the elevator after telling my secretary to get me a flight. I push the elevator button, still trying to call her. But when the elevator door slides open, I almost jump in surprise because I can see someone who looks like Choi Soorin is standing inside the elevator.

But no, she isn’t just someone who looks like her. She is the real Choi Soorin.

“Why are you panting?” She asks while stepping out of the big metal box.

I don’t know what spirit possesses me but I find myself rushing toward her, grabbing her by her shoulders, and pushing her back into the elevator until she gets cornered. Soorin looks surprised by my sudden deed. I hear the elevator beeping and soon the door closes again.

“Why do you not answer my call?” Even my voice sounds like a growl. I don’t even understand why I suddenly feel so enraged.

“Sehun, you hurt me.” She says while trying to get herself off my grip. I reflexively take my hands off her, stepping backward. I run my hand through my hair, completely confused with my own self.

“I-I’m so-sorry. I j-just…” I’m ing stammering and clearly don’t know what I should say.

“And why are you so angry?” She asks as she presses a number button to bring us back to the floor where we should be on.

I raise my brows. How am I supposed to answer that question? Because I freaking don’t know why I feel this anger all of the sudden when I see her. It is definitely not because she didn’t answer my call I felt like I was on the verge of my nerves. Or… is it because I worried about her too much earlier?

“Sehun, I’m talking to you.” She says, waving her hand in front of my face.

I stare at her only to find her staring back at me with her questioning look. My mind is still busy looking for a good reason for her question but then I realize something; what is she doing here?

“Why are you here?” I find myself asking her.

“Because I can.” She answers briefly then shrugs.

“That’s not a proper answer, Soorin.” I complain then hear the elevator beeping. We step out the elevator together. I look around and find that we are standing on the same floor as before, the same floor as me and the boys’ rooms are located. What does this mean?

“How could you know I’m here?” Then I feel like slapping myself because my question sounds… so wrong?

“I’m not coming here to see you, Oh Sehun.” She rolls her eyes then turns left at the end of the corridor. I quietly follow her from behind. This is even the same hallway and we have just walked past Luhan hyung’s room.

“Let me rephrase it. Are you coming because you know that Kris hyung is here?”

“It can be more or less true.”

“Does Kris hyung know you are coming here?”

“What do you think?”

“He doesn’t know.” I say firmly. “But how could you know we are here?”

“’Call Minseok and bring him with us to Jeju tomorrow’.” Soorin replies and I guess she is just repeating what she heard somewhere.. “Your pretty hyung came with Jongin to my house yesterday. They looked for Kris but he wasn’t home yet. We had a little fight and…”

“What? Fight? How many times I should tell you to have more respect on Luhan hyung?”

“…and then Kris suddenly appeared. He started asking me some weird questions which I didn’t understand why he would ask me such things.” She stops for a while as she opens the door to her room. She steps inside the room, leaving me behind who is battling with my mind, deciding to follow her or not. I mean, we are not even a couple and when one of the parties is even married, I don’t think it is right for us to stay in the same room even when we are not doing anything illegal.

“What? You are not coming in?” I see her furrowing her brows. Hesitantly, I stepped inside then close the door behind me but I decide to put some distances between us as I’m standing not too far from the entrance.

“What did he ask you?” I ask while leaning back against the wall.

“He asked me about this necklace.” She answers while touching the beautiful locket that hanging on her chest. “He also asked if Soojin eonni had the same necklace as mine.”

“And what did you tell him?”

“I told him the truth. Soojin eonni had this necklace too but hers has the letters ‘SJ’ engraved on one side of the necklace while mine has the letters ‘SR’.” Soorin says while opening the locket and gazing at something inside it. “Sehun, who is Minseok?”

“Minseok hyung…” I pause momentarily. “He is one of our friends.”

“If this Minseok guy is just one of your friends, why Kris suddenly wanted him to come here after he found out that eonni had the same necklace as mine?”

No. I can’t tell her the truth. “What else did he say to you?” I try to change the topic.

She bites her lower lip. “He asked if we still keep eonni’s necklace but the necklace was gone with her because apparently Soojin eonni was wearing the necklace when the accident happened. He then turned around and grabbed Luhan by his shoulder. He told Luhan to call Minseok and he said that he needs Minseok to do something for him.”

“Did hyung hurt you?” I ask hesitantly, clearly not wanting her to misinterpret the meaning of my question. Soorin tilts her head to one side, trying to digest my words.

“If by hurt you mean he said something that made me feels broken heart, then yes.” She mutters. “You know what? When I accidentally heard the conversation between you and Luhan about Kris loves my sister, I secretly wished that the two of you were wrong though I should have known about it because he made it very obvious to me that he truly adores her through the way he talked about her. Kris never talked to me nicely. He doesn’t talk to me if he doesn’t feel it necessary. But that day, he talked as if eonni was his everything. I could feel it, Sehun.

“And yesterday, he made it clear to me that he loves her. He still loves her though she was dead. And guess what’s more irony? Kris knows about my feeling for him. He knows that I love him yet he said to me that my future is not with him and he will find a way to end our marriage.” Her voice trails off when she reaches her very last sentence, her eyes brimmed with tears.

“Don’t cry. Don’t cry for someone who doesn’t love you. He’s not worth a single one of your tears. If he doesn’t love you, then let him go. Your world won’t stop without him, Soorin.” I don’t know where those words are coming from. I don’t even know why I can say such things to her. But one thing for sure, I don’t want to see her cry.

“You should be there and listened to the whole things he said about her, Sehun. He indirectly told me that I will never have a place in his heart. He loves her dearly. Kris loves my sister with all his heart though he knows she wasn’t here anymore. Even after she was dead, I still lose to her. Why this world is always unfair to me?

“Kris said that I know nothing about her. Kris said that eonni wasn’t actually happy with her life. Kris said that it’s me who have everything and she simply has nothing. Kris said that I’m too selfish to see that she actually lived in misery all the time because I always think I’m the one who suffer here. Kris acted as if he knows her better than anyone else. How could he play you-don’t-know-Choi-Soojin game with me when he knows I’m not the one who refused to know her? It was my parents who separated us. It was my parents who put her on top of their priority, asking her to do this and that without asking her true feeling. It was my parents who kept her busy doing many things until we didn’t have the chance to get close to each other.

“I don’t need to be told anything about her because deep inside me I know she wasn’t happy. It is true that I was envy with her because everyone always talked about her and only her. It is true that sometimes I wish she wasn’t my sister because I’m tired being the wallflower. But no one had ever asked what I truly feel. I don’t hate her. I never hate her. I love her so much until it hurts because I never got the chance to spend time together with her like other sisters could do. I wanted to tell the world how proud I am to have her as my sister but everyone was just too busy praising her and they would simply ignore me. No one ever listened to me because they always think negatively about me. What should I do? What am I supposed to do to make the world stops hating me?”

As she talks, the tears don’t stop streaming down her cheeks and it is hurt to se