I went to the cafe after school with Jung Ah. As soon as I got to the counter, the bubble tea that I was waiting for was handed to me and I gave them the exact change. We went up to the second floor and sat by the open window together. I took out my books from my bag while Jung Ah took a magazine out and placed it onto the table. I knew she wasn't going to study even though she said she was. I only shook my head at her and decided that I'll be the good student.
"Did you hear that Se Hun's girlfriend came to our school?" Jung Ah asked as she slapped her hand onto my textbook while I was reading it.
"How'd you find that out?" I asked looking up at her as I sipped onto my bubble tea. "Did you see?"
"No, but other people said they saw her and they were talking in the back hallway." She leaned back in her chair and eyed me. "Did you really not hear about it?"
I bit my lip and looked away. "No..."
"You're lying." Jung Ah grabbed my bubble tea and held it behind her so I couldn't reach it. "You better tell me everything you know!"
"What are you talking about?" I rolled my eyes at her and held my hand out. I seriously was surprised how easily she read me. "Give me my drink."
"No, not until you tell me." She said rolling her eyes. "You've been acting all weird ever since you came back from the nurse's office."
"Nothing happened. I just ran into Jae Hyun and he killed my mood, that's it." I wasn't really lying; I just left out a few parts. "Now will you give me my drink back?"
"Didn't I tell you that you were terrible at lying?" She sipped onto my drink and ate one of the pearls that was in the drink. "If you don't tell me everything you know, I'll drink the rest of this."
"You're kidding, Jung Ah." I tilted my head and glared at her.
"You think I'm joking around with you?" Jung Ah sipped onto my drink again.
"YAH!" I screamed at her.
"Tell me. NOW." She held my drink down by her lap. "And I'll give you your drink back without any loss."
I heaved a sigh as I ran a hand through my hair. This topic has been bothering me all day and it hasn't left my mind. I looked up at Jung Ah and saw that she was waiting for me to say something. Great. I had no idea how to start it off and I'm sure she knew that she had me already, so I had to tell her everything even if it meant that I was probably going to feel all butthurt about it again. I took one deep breath and then I started talking.
I told Jung Ah everything from what Yoo Ra had said to what Se Hun had replied. She nodded her head everytime I stopped talking, telling me to go on with the rest of the story. I even told her that I felt like a burden now that I was thinking about it and how Se Hun said that he had fallen in love with me, if I was correct. I also went on and told her that Yoo Ra called it lust; it wasn't love. When I was done, Jung Ah handed me back my bubble tea drink and leaned over on the table with her eblows resting on the surface. She was staring at me, as if I had more to tell, but I really didn't. I was done. I told everything I heard.
"Are you okay?" Jung Ah asked me after a few moments of silence.
Out of all the questions she could have asked me, she asked me if I was okay? I looked at her and raised an eyebrow. What did she mean by "Are you okay?" How was I not okay?
"Ahn Soo Jin, you're in denial right now, aren't you?" She blew out a sigh and pursed her lips together.
"I don't get what you mean. I'm fine." I said even though I knew I really wasn't. I guess I really didn't want to admit to anything right now.
"Don't let Yoo Ra's words get into your head. Se Hun didn't say you were a burden; she did." Jung Ah said it as if she was reassuring me. "So what if what Yoo Ra said hurt you; she's not important."
"Jae Hyun was there too..." I said looking down at my hands.
"Did he hear it?" Jung Ah raised her eyebrow.
"I have no idea..." I breathed out.
"Do you like him, Soo Jin?" Jung Ah asked quietly.
"Can... Can we not talk about this?" I looked up at her slowly.
"Ahn Soo Jin... four more days..." She said under her breath.
The next day at school, I felt like everything was getting out of me. I felt lifeless since I was studying all night and thinking about what Yoo Ra had said about me. Yeah, I was letting it get to me to the point where I was actually stressing out. I didn't even know if I was hungry or not when lunch came by. I bought myself food anyways and sat with Jung Ah as she devoured everything on her tray. I picked at my food and tried to find ways to get distracted, but nothing was helping me.
It looked like Jung Ah wanted to talk to me and say things that were on her mind, but she knew better than to make the situation worse. This was another reason why she was my best friend. She understood my situations and supported me even if I was being the most annoying person on earth. I felt bad for her. I wish I was more like her. She was so humble about everything and she always figured out how to make life easier. I was only good at academics... That was me. Ahn Soo Jin.
After school, I went home and changed into comfier clothes before making my way back out of the school. I couldn't lock myself in my house with all of these thoughts. I went out to the main street and called for a taxi. I told the taxi to take me to Myeongdong since it was already getting dark. This was the perfect place to be at a time like this, huh? Night life it is...
I walked to where the food area was right when I got out of the taxi. I was starving from not eating at lunch. The food smelled amazing and I couldn't resist it even if I was feeling completely emptied. I bought myself fish sticks and some hotteok. I savored each bite that I took and walked around the shopping area to look for something new to wear. Just as I made my way towards a store full of hats, mittens, and scarves, an ahjusshi waved at me.
"Hello." The ahjusshi nodded at me. "Is there anything you would like here?"
Just then, snow started to fall down. I looked up and smiled. "Mittens..."
"Here, choose from these. They just came in this morning." The ahjusshi led me to where all of his mittens were.
There were a variety of mittens sitting out on the table. I bent down and set my food down beside me as I looked at each of the mittens. Did I want one with a pretty design or one with a pretty solid color? When I looked through a few more, I saw that there were even mittens that had strings attaching the pair. They were all so cute. I didn't know where to choose from. I was just about to pick up the mittens I was looking at, I saw someone grab them from my reach. The hand reached out to the ahjusshi and handed him money.
"Thank you." The ahjusshi smiled at the person beside me. "Couples always buy these types of mittens."
Couples? I looked to my side and saw Se Hun standing beside me. He was smiling at me. I stood up and looked at him. The pair of mittens that he had were a pair of red gloves that had fuzzy cotton at the end and the pair was connected by a tight string. He put one side on and grabbed my hand and then placed the mitten onto my hand. I was still surprised that he was here with me. I didn't even notice that he was here.
"What are you doing here?" I asked staring at him. "I'm seriously really starting to think that you're stalking me."
"Maybe I am." He shrugged as his mittened hand grabbed my mittened hand.
"What are you doing?" I asked as he pulled me away from the booth that we were just at.
"What? Why are you acting so cold towards me?" He asked staring at me with a raised brow.
"Oh... Uh... Sorry..." I used my free hand to scratch the back of my head.
"Did something happen?" He asked looking at me suspiciously. "You look like you haven't had a good sleep for days."
"Ah, it's because I've been studying." I said pursing my lips together.
"Again? Maybe you should go do something else." Se Hun said blowing out air through his nose.
"Like what?" I asked staring at him.
"Hmmm? Should we go eat?" He suggested.
"I just ate..." I said realizing that I left my food on the street.
"Should we go ice skating?" Se Hun asked.
My phone suddenly rang in my pocket. I apologetically smiled at him and pulled my phone out to see who it was. There was no caller ID on there, so I decided to pick it up right away.
"Ahn Soo Jin?" It was a girl. "This is Lee Yoo Ra."
I looked at Se Hun and then positioned my phone away from him. "Oh..."
"Can... Can we talk?" She asked.
"I know you're with Se Hun. I can see you two." She said cutting me off. "Find a way to go somewhere for a bit."
"Please..." She cut me off again.
I didn't want to go talk to her, but it really made me curious to why she still had the guts to call me and ask to see me when she was bashing about me earlier today to Se Hun. Should I go?
"What's wrong?" Se Hun asked as he looked down at me.
"I have to go use the bathroom. I'll be back." I forced a smile and took the glove off and ran off before he could say anything. I put the phone back onto my ear. "Where are you?"
I was suddenly pulled and was dragged out to a park nearby. It was Yoo Ra. She scared the living crap out of me. Couldn't she just tell me where she was or say something before yanking me away? I almost thought I was getting kidnapped.
"What are you doing?" I asked after she let go of my arm.
"I wanted to confirm something once more." She heaved a sigh. "Do... Do you like Se Hun?"
"Why?" I asked crossing my arm. "Why are you so curious?"
"Because you liking him will only be a burden." She hissed under her breath. "Do you realize how much you've put him through just within three months?"
I raised my eyebrow. Why was she talking about me being a burden again? I was not having a good day with that word at all.
"You should stop talking to him before he decides to leave you instead of you leaving him. If you don't want to get hurt, you should walk away from everything right now." She ran a hand through her hair. "I don't think he realizes this, but he really doesn't like you. I think he's just in on over his head because of our breakup and using you to get over our relationship. I hope you're not misunderstanding anything."
I bit the inside of my cheeks angrily. I know I shouldn't believe anything she says, but she could actually be right. Se Hun was still in love with Yoo Ra and he could be using me to get over her, for all I know.
"For him, Soo Jin, you need to leave. You're only weighing him down and confusing his feelings." Yoo Ra lightly patted my shoulders. I didn't know whether to believe her or not. "One day, he's going to get hurt because of you."
I looked at Yoo Ra and could tell that was probably speaking the truth and it irritated me that she said it as if I wasn't even worth a look. Was I really a burden? When did I ever ask Se Hun to do the things he did?
"You can't make him stay with you forever and protect you." Yoo Ra scoffed, taking me out of my thoughts. "That'll only burden him more. Do you want him thinking that he has to protect you?"
I shook my head to answer her question. All of these thoughts were so frustrating.
"You should leave while you can. We wouldn't want him to get hurt just because of your own stupid decisions." Yoo Ra patted my shoulder before she walked past me and disappeared.
I stood there and tried to sink all of this in. Was everything she said true? I didn't want to believe her. Why should I? She probably didn't even like me because she still wanted to get back with Se Hun, right? Was I just overthinking and over analyzing everything that she was saying to me? I decided to walk back to where I left Se Hun, just in case he was still there. To my surprise, he was still there. He was talking to an ahjumma, who was trying to sell him a shirt. When he saw me, he made his way towards me, probably happy to get away from her.
"Why did it take you so long?" Se Hun asked as he put the mitten back on my hand.
"There was a line." I lied, hoping to be convincing. "Se Hun..."
"Mmm?" He turned to look at me.
"I'm sorry." I pulled my hand out of the mitten and sighed. "I... I really need to go do something."
"I'll come with." He suggested, only making it harder for me to leave him.
"No." I held up a hand. "I... I want to do it alone."
Before I let him talk, I turned around and started to walk away. I could hear his footsteps behind me and it really made things harder than it should have. I just wanted to cry and let everything all out right now, but I didn't want him to see that I was hurt or that I was crying. It didn't even matter that he's seen me at my worst because right now? It's my weakest and I don't want him to see that side of me.
"Stop following me, Se Hun." I hissed under my breath. "Go home."
"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Se Hun grabbed my arm and tried to pull me back, but I refused to move. "Ahn Soo Jin."
"Please. Just this once. Don't follow me." I yanked my arm out of his grip and walked off.
I listened closely and could hear nothing behind me. Se Hun listened to me and it really surprised me. Even though I wanted to be with him right now, I couldn't and I didn't deserve to. Se Hun loves another girl and his heart belongs to another girl. This isn't right. Was what Yoo Ra said was true?
Am I really a burden?
**A/N: Please don't hate me, but I'm going on a hiatus again now that break is pretty much over and I'm busy over the weekend -_- I'm super sad that I have to go on a hiatus. Please do understand and be patient for updates! It's almost done anyways, so you guys can wait, right? Keke~! Thank you for the comments <3 I really enjoy reading them!! It gives me more motivation to write. Thank you! Also, I have another story that's going to come soon after I finish this one. It's called Goodbye Autumn. It features Chenchen <3 But note that I won't be posting until I'm done with this story though, but please still support and read :D. Please read and comment. I'd love to hear about your opinions, so please don't be a silent reader. Thank you and read with lots of love! Keke~! Muah!