Chanyeol is not even pretending to sleep when he hears the bedroom door creak open in the middle of the night.

The dorm is dead silent, as everyone is already fast asleep. It's going to be a long, tiring day tomorrow, now that midterms are officially starting, and all Chanyeol wants to do after cramming down two years worth of the Biology syllabus into his head is sleep, but the familiar weight that he feels settling down beside him on the warm bed does little to help.

He turns around slightly, tilting his head up. The moonlight shines in from the windows and sets the room in a pale glow, illuminating the curled up figure beside him. "What are you doing?"

"Can't you tell?" A muffled voice comes from his rumpled up sheets. "I'm trying to sleep."

"Yeah, I know," Chanyeol mumbles sleepily as he turns around. His white shirt rides up to show a sliver of skin and he scratches his forehead blearily. "What I'm asking is why are you sleeping hereinstead."

"Joonmyun can't stop snoring," Sehun grumbles. "It's driving me insane."

Chanyeol nods, allowing the thought to slowly sink in his sleep-fuddled brain. "Oh."

"Don't worry, I'll be gone in the morning." Sehun yawns as he curls up even closer. His legs tangle around Chanyeol's and he buries his face into the crook of Chanyeol's shoulder. His best friend smells nice- like a mixture of fabric softener and fresh cotton, and Sehun decides that it would be even comfier if Chanyeol was clad in one of those puffy pyjama shirts that were easier to cuddle up to, instead of his current plain cotton tee that reveals his bare, angular arms.

Chanyeol sighs but doesn't push Sehun away. He's used to this, anyway. He's used to Sehun sneaking into his room in the middle of the night and curling up beside him, with the excuse that Joonmyun snores at night. He's used to waking up in the morning with a familiar weight pressed up against the crook of his arm, and with locks of puffy blonde hair tickling his nose.

Sehun lets out a tiny purr, like a contented cat and slips his fingers into the hem of Chanyeol's shirt.

Chanyeol sighs again and closes his eyes.

















When morning arrives, it takes Chanyeol at least six cups of steaming hot coffee to make it through the day without passing out. He sits for his Biology paper with relative ease, however, and by the time the day ends and everyone is back in their dorms, he is extremely wired up from all the caffeine and it takes a feral snarl from Baekhyun to keep him from bouncing on the ratty old couch.

"Don't you have a Chemistry paper tomorrow?" Baekhyun snaps as he shoves a still-bouncing Chanyeol off the couch.

"Yeah," Chanyeol mumbles from where he is flat against the ground. "I'll start studying in an hour."

"Chanyeol, it's already midnight."

"I'll pull an all-nighter again."

"You're going to overdose from caffeine at this rate."

Chanyeol beams. "And what a nice way it would be to die."



Therefore, it comes to no surprise to anyone when Chanyeol passes out on his desk at four in the morning, with a Chemistry textbook piled on top of his head and his face pressed against his painstakingly handwritten notes. He gets a grey smudge on his cheek the next day when he wakes up and he is half an hour late for his exam, but he still passes it with flying colours, and he spends the entire day gleefully rubbing that fact into everyone that would listen.

His bed feels oddly empty without Sehun this morning though, and he decides that Joonmyun must have gotten the memo about his loud snoring. Nevertheless, when Chanyeol falls asleep that night, he has to stop himself from turning around and expecting Sehun to be lying down right next to him- hands pressed together and legs curled up into his side.

He wakes up countless times that night, blinking in confused frustration as he unknowingly tries to reach out for that source of warmth again, so familiar yet so unattainable.












Chanyeol is in the midst of studying for his second Chemistry paper a few nights later when he hears his bedroom door creak open, and he doesn't even have to look up to know that it was Sehun. It still surprises him though, when he feels the boy sitting down behind him on his study chair and wrapping his long arms around his waist.

"What are you doing?" Chanyeol asks.

"Joonmyun's snoring again," the muffled voice mumbles from behind him as Sehun presses his chin on Chanyeol's bony shoulder.

"Go sleep on my bed then."

"No, it's more comfortable this way." Sehun says. Chanyeol's limbs are like a warm cocoon, enveloping him to sleep, as his chest rises and falls in a steady pattern and his breathing slows down. Sehun buries his head into Chanyeol's back and lets out a deep contented sigh as he gradually starts to fall asleep.

"You know, you should really stop falling asleep on me and well, I don't know, fall asleep on that bed over there?" Chanyeol remarks sardonically, but he keeps his voice low, because even so, he doesn't want to stir Sehun.

A muffled reply comes from behind him, as the pair of arms tighten around his waist. "Like I said, it's more comfortable this way."

Chanyeol rolls his eyes as he muffles his smile behind his hand.

He stays at his desk the entire night, because he doesn't want to wake Sehun, and he ends up with an extremely sore neck and aching back the next day. It's worth it though, he thinks, when he stirs awake on his desk the next morning and turns around slightly to find Sehun still fast asleep behind him- his tufts of blond hair sticking out from his shirt. Sehun looks adorable this way, his eyes bleary from sleep as he stirs awake slowly and stares in dismay at the crumpled wrinkled mess that he has turned Chanyeol's shirt into.

Chanyeol grins, without turning around. "It's okay."

Sehun blushes.



















A gruelling test-filled week later, Chanyeol's just about to venture out of the dorm in search of coffee and bagels when he bumps into a flustered Joonmyun, who is carrying two huge luggages and about to trip over his own feet. He catches the stumbling Joonmyun and steadies the man, and he earns a grateful smile in return. "Thanks, Chanyeol."

"No problem," Chanyeol shrugs as he runs a hand through his hair. He eyes Joonmyun curiously. "What are you doing out in the hall with all your luggage though?"

"Oh, you didn't know?" Joonmyun asks, widening his eyes. "I just got back from Japan. I've been interning at a company there for three weeks."

Chanyeol blinks. "You can't be serious."

Joonmyun laughs. "And why would you say that?"

"Sehun has been sleeping in my room because he says that you keep snoring and he can't sleep!"

Joonmyun blinks, before he bursts out again into raucous peals of laughter. "And you believed him?"

Something sinks in Chanyeol's stomach as a stunning realization dawns upon him. "Oh," he sighs.

Joonmyun smiles. "You do know what this means, right?"

Joonmyun seems to be implying something else, and Chanyeol isn't sure if he knows how to read between the lines.













Later that night, when Sehun sneaks into his room later that night and curls up in his sheets, he doesn't bother coming up with an excuse, but Chanyeol is clearly not in the mood to entertain Sehun's odd behaviour anymore.

"Joonmyun's snoring again, huh?" He remarks as Sehun flips onto his side and glances at him.

"Yeah."

"Hmm, guess he didn't sleep well when he was in Japan, huh?" Chanyeol says quietly.

Sehun suddenly stiffens and he sits up. His eyes smoulder slightly in the darkness of the bedroom, and Chanyeol takes a deep heaving breath. His gut clenches and he belatedly realizes that he might just be afraid of Sehun's answer. He doesn't know why, but he doesn't want to start on his own suspicions either.

"How do you know about that?" Sehun asks quietly, his head tilted down so that Chanyeol couldn't see his face. It was infuriating. Chanyeol resists the urge to tilt Sehun's chin up and force the boy to just look at him.

"I bumped into him at the hall," Chanyeol replies. "He said that he's been in Japan for three weeks." Way before when you started coming into my room to complain about his snoring. There is a silent implication there.

Sehun whips around, so fast that Chanyeol starts slightly. "And what exactly do you want me to say?"

"What do you mean?"

"What excuse do you want me to offer you? After all, I've been harassing you for the past few weeks, right? You must have been annoyed."

"Sehun, I-"

"I'm just going to leave," Sehun mumbles as he gets out of bed. "Sorry for bothering you." His eyes look suspiciously red under the dim lighting, and Chanyeol's gut clenches again, but this time for all the wrong reasons. He reaches out to grab Sehun's wrist, pulling the boy back to him.

Sehun whips around and stares at him, his eyes steady yet unblinking.

"Don't leave," Chanyeol says simply.

Sehun's jaw sets in a tense line. "Why?"

Chanyeol rubs the back of his head sheepishly. "You don't bother me," he admits. And even if you do, I'll be oblivious to it anyway, because I don't mind anything when it comes to you is what hewants to say, but somehow, the words get stuck in his throat and he just can't voice them out, or at least not yet.

Sehun is still for a minute, then he softens and his jaw relaxes. "Really?" For a split second, he looked like a little kid again- the kind of kid that would get caught sneaking into his parents' bed at night.

Chanyeol smiles and nods. "Yeah."  His grip on Sehun's wrist tightens.

There is silence for a while, before Sehun tilts his chin up and stares at him in the eye. "So am I supposed to be staying here or what?"

Chanyeol chuckles. "Well, nobody's stopping you."

Sehun rolls his eyes and tucks himself into Chanyeol's bed. Chanyeol lies down next to him, and Sehun automatically curls into him, entangling their limbs together as he rests his chin on Chanyeol's shoulder.

Chanyeol doesn't question it. After all, he normally never does.


Sometimes, he realizes, it's hard to know what you want when there are so many voices in your head and in the end, it's difficult to know which one of them is yours in the first place. And then the dream breaks into a million tiny pieces. The dream dies. And he can never find it in himself to start all over again.

There are times when he still feels terribly lonely, and he doesn't even know what he's lonely for.


However, the next morning, when he wakes up to the sight of Sehun perched on the foot of the bed and fiddling with his old PSP- his face scrunched in intense concentration, Chanyeol thinks that he might actually be in love.













"You know," Chanyeol remarks simply as they sit cross-legged on the couch afterwards. "You make me nervous sometimes."

Sehun turns to him, and there's an unidentifiable smirk tugging on the corners of his lips. "Why?"

"I don't know," Chanyeol shrugs. "You just do."

"I think you do know." Sehun says as he leans back, his eyes surveying Chanyeol like a cat. "And you're just not telling me. I think you're thinking about it right now." There's a teasing lilt in his tone and his eyes were mischievously bright.

"Of course, but it's embarrassing, so I'm not going to tell you."

Sehun leans in slightly. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Sehun smirks. "Are you positive?"

"Yes." Their lips brush.

Just then, Sehun flushes and pulls away, curling up on the couch. The tips of his ears are bright red and he looks mortified when Chanyeol bursts out laughing at his sudden fit of shyness and practically rolls off the couch in his mirth.

"You ." Sehun retorts vehemently.


And he might (will) deny it later if anyone asks, but there definitely was a smile tugging on the corners of his lips.




















(Chanyeol doesn't feel that lonely anymore.)