Summer was here, again; a summer without her, the first summer without her.

Kyungsoo woke up and glanced over at the clock.

"Darn, I'm late!"

"Yeah you are!" Suho shouted from the living room. "And it is truly amazing how well you sleep despite the alarm.”

“You should have…” Kyungsoo quickly rushed into the bathroom, brushed his teeth, washed his face and changed out of his pjs. The morning started hastily.

Kyungsoo had moved into Suho’s apartment after graduation. He had decided the location was closest to the company he was interning at and Suho would gladly accommodate him. After all, Suho was well to do and probably the only kid he knew that had an apartment of his own at this age.

“You’re staying in? No work?” Kyungsoo asked while putting on his shoes. “Can you please get me a toast?”

“Nah. I’m on leave today heh. No toast. I’ll get you bread though.”

Suho was not sick or anything that needed to take leave but it was not of a surprise to Kyungsoo. In fact, he knew that Suho did not have to work. That is the good thing about having a good family – sit back and inherit everything even when you do nothing – but of course Suho was not like that. Suho had the brains and the looks, but he did not need to work hard, that’s all.

Kyungsoo chewed on one side of the bread.

“I’ll get going then…”

“Hey, don’t forget 7 p.m. at Sehun’s!”

~

08.59 just in time…

Kyungsoo settled down quickly. He scanned through the piles of files he had to go through. It was not going to be his day… He flipped open the first file of the stack and started speed reading. It was not the kind of job he had wanted. In fact, office jobs were the kind he hated most but he figured that it was probably the fastest way to earn money.

Soojung

Kyungsoo stared at the paper.

Soojung

He rubbed his eyes and stared again at the paper.

Applicant’s name: Ahn Soojung

He heaved. It was not the Jung Soojung he thought it was, but his heart continued to beat fast. He missed Soojung every single day for one whole year, ever since she left on graduation day.

~

“Kyung! Why are you late again?” Sehun snorted. “Can’t you try to be early at least once?”

“I was hooked up on work…”

Everyone was there, at Sehun’s house, for a class gathering. Everyone was there, except Soojung. Kyungsoo tried to forget the fact that she was not around and she was the only one he wanted to see.

“Sulli, so how’s Soojung over at states? You went over for a week right?!”

Someone just had to remind Kyungsoo.

“She’s pretty cool there. The place was superb and oh my god the guys there were hot!!” Sulli smiled as she imagined the place all over again.

“Oh and Soojung said she’s coming back soon. I can’t believe she’ll finish her studies so soon.”

Kyungsoo gulped down a mouthful of soju.

“You are drinking on empty stomach?” Chanyeol asked.

“Oh orhhh…” Kyungsoo attempted to reply.

~

Hey stupid. I’ve settled down in U.S. for days now. The weather’s pretty nice here and so are the people. I think I can adapt very well.*chuckles* So I went to visit the school here and it looks the same as in the movies. It’s really wow. The school here…oh that day, when I was leaving, I was going to say goodbye…but my sister…forget it…you probably have heard it from Sulli already… Anyways, how’s life? Mine’s pretty much the same. Oh except that I’m pretty sick of fries and burgers already. *sniffs* I’m missing spicy rice cakes and ox bone soup and… am I talking too much…? It’s just…I wanted to know why aren’t you answering my calls? Have you not seen the missed calls? Is it the time difference? Or you didn’t know it was me? I’m just…just call me back when you hear this… Will you?

It was one of the nights Kyungsoo missed Soojung very much. He recalled the voicemails Soojung left on his phone. He had probably listened to it for a hundred times; but still, he did not call back.

Kyungsoo, what happened? Call me back ya?

He was hurting. She was probably hurting the same.

Hey Kyungsoo. How’s life? Probably busy as hell heh. I’ll probably leave lesser voicemails until I leave none. It’s pretty hectic right here too. Just so you know, I wish you were here…

That was the last voicemail he had heard from her, around nine months ago.

~

“YA YA YA you guys better go home now. I’ll be dead if my dad sees you guys like this in the morning after he comes home from his vacation.” Sehun bugged everyone.

Suho lugged Kyungsoo out and hailed a cab.

“Why are you drinking this much?”

“Suuuuuuuuuu…” muffled Kyungsoo.

“Yes?” Suho replied, thinking it was him he was calling out for.

“Suuuuuuu….jung-ah…”

Suho looked at Kyungsoo, wide-eyed. He never knew Kyungsoo like Soojung. He never knew that it was Soojung that made him drink this much.

"Kyungsoo...you're drunk...."

~

“Yeah I’m getting on the plane soon… Yes mom I know. I’ve got everything ready. Yes, passport and boarding pass yes yes. Unnie is going to do the rest. Don’t worry. Yes… I’ll call you again when I’ve reached alright? Bye. Love you.”

Soojung checked her stuffs one last time before entering the departure gates. It was probably thanks to her mom she got paranoid as well.

“Let’s hurry!”

Soojung boarded the plane, window-seat.

“Aren’t you turning off your phone now?”

“Yeah…” Soojung replied.

Brrrr….brrrr….

"Ey?"

She paused for a moment and answered the call that came from nowhere.

“Kyungsoo?”

~

“Hello? Kyungsoo…is that you?”

“Jung ah…”

Silence.

I miss you…

Nado moreuge jeonhwagireul deulgo marasseo
Naya cham oraenmaniya
Neomu himi deureoseo japgido mianhaeseo
Neoreul bonaen ge huhoedwaeseo hansumman swineungeol

Neomu nollaseo mari naojido anhasseo tteollineun gaseumman butjabasseo
Manhi himdeunji jigeum eodi inneunji mutgido jeone nunmuri heulleosseo
Ne sumsoriman deullyeodo geurae

Nunmuri ireoke heulleonaerimyeon akkideon
Nae jageun chueokdeulmajeodo eojjeol jul molla
Neomu apaseo seoro nohajugil yaksokhaetjiman
Jasin eobseul ttae, gakkeum sumsorirado deullyeojugil

Sumeul swineun ge maeil nuneul tteuneun ge gyeou harureul saneun ge
Jungneun geot boda himi deundago nege mareul motaesseo
Geokjeonghal geot gataseo babocheoreom hansumman swineun geol

Nunmuri ireoke heulleonaerimyeon akkideon
Nae jageun chueokdeulmajeodo eojjeol jul molla
Neomu apaseo seoro nohajugil yaksokhaetjiman
Jasin eobseul ttae, gakkeum sumsorirado deullyeojugil

Hagopeun mari manhado nan amu maldo mot hago
Da gwaenchantago seororeul dallaego apahaesseo
Da doedollimyeon urin haengbokhagiman haesseo nochi motago isseo

Nunmuri ireoke heulleonaerimyeon akkideon
Nae jageun chueokdeulmajeodo eojjeol jul molla
Neomu apaseo seoro nohajugil yaksokhaetjiman
Jakku nega saenggangnal ttaen
Chameul su eobsi himdeul ttaen

Ireokerado gakkeum sumsorirado deullyeojugir

Trans:

Without even knowing, I was holding the phone
It’s me, it’s been a long time
Because it was so hard, because I felt bad if I held you back
Because I regret letting you go, I just let out a sigh

Because I was so surprised, I couldn’t speak
I was holding on to my trembling heart
Are you struggling a lot? Where are you?
Before I could even ask, tears fell down
Just by hearing the sound of your breath

When tears fall, even my smallest cherished memories don’t know what to do
Because it hurt so much, we promised to let each other go
But whenever I’m not sure I can do it, please let me hear at least your breath

Breathing, opening my eyes every day, barely getting through each day
I couldn’t tell you that those things were harder than dying
In case you would get worried so like a fool, I just let out a sigh

When tears fall, even my smallest cherished memories don’t know what to do
Because it hurt so much, we promised to let each other go
But whenever I’m not sure I can do it, please let me hear at least your breath

There was so much I wanted to say but I couldn’t say anything
We said that we were okay, comforting each other in pain
When I look back, we were only happy, we haven’t let each other go

When tears fall, even my smallest cherished memories don’t know what to do
Because it hurt so much, we promised to let each other go
When I keep thinking about you
When it’s so hard that I can’t take it

Please let me hear at least your breath

Breath by S.M. The Ballad; SHINee’s Jonghyun & Girls Generation’s Taeyeon