Sunny entered her apartment and sat down on the couch. She sat at the very edge and rolled up into a ball. Her chest tightened and her nose started to become stuffy as tears threatened to come out. No Sunny! No more. You shouldn’t cry. You promised yourself right? That you won’t cry. Be happy. She thought as she forced a smile. See. Happy. At least today you tried your best right? You gave it your all. That’s what matters. At least today… today she talked to you.

                But no matter what consoling words she told herself it wasn’t enough. Not enough to stop the tears from coming back. She cried into her legs. I’m so sorry. I was so stupid. How… how could I have done that? I just want you back.

                She wiped the tears on the sleeves of her sweater and looked up. There it was, staring at her. A bottle of vodka. She took it instantly. One sip, two, then three. She moved her feet to the floor and accidentally kicked another bottle. Clink, clank. She looked down. There were probably a dozen empty bottles on the floor. She let out a small, sad, pitiful laugh as she took another sip.

                It made sense that the floor was littered with bottles. It took more to get her drunk. It took more to get that warm, happy, fuzzy feeling that she wanted to achieve. But that wasn’t the best part. No. the best part was what it did to that hurtful feeling in her chest. It made it smaller… it made it bearable.

                She smiled and thought back to her. At one time they were inseparable. No one found it weird when they were stuck arm in arm. It was what they did. It made them happy to start rumors that were true. It made them feel like masters to have completely hidden it from the rest of the girls. Their secret relationship. Best friends in the day. Secret lovers in the night.

                But a year ago, on this day, everything stopped. She hated herself for it. And every moment she regretted it.

                She thought back to a few hours ago and smiled bitterly. The empty feeling in her grew bigger. She drank more.

***********
Flashback to a few hours ago – date 12/24/13
***********

“We’re here Sunny,” she heard her manager say. Sunny nodded her head, took a deep breath and smiled. It was agreed. A little dinner party for the girls before they each went home in the morning to spend Christmas with their families. “Sunny?” her manager asked.

                “Oh sorry oppa… I’m just nervous,” she said. It’s been a year now. It was a long time. Too long.

                She was hopeful. It was Christmas Eve… It’s been a year. Surely if she was to forgive Sunny it would be now. Sunny exited the van and dashed off. A few minutes later she was in the dorm removing her shoes.  

                She looked around and saw Tiffany and Jessica lounging on the couch. Tiffany was busy listening to music on her headphones, practicing for their comeback, while Jessica read. Sunny plopped down in the between the two. She let out a laugh as she heard Jessica give of a short whine.

                “Where were you?” Jessica asked as she flipped through her book after the three readjusted.

                “I was seeing my parents off at the airport,” Sunny replied.

                “But what about you? It is Christmas tomorrow…” Jessica asked, her eyes gazing at Sunny.

                “I’m fine. Besides I thought I might bless this thing right here with my presence during Christmas.” Sunny said as she leaned on Tiffany. Jessica smiled.

                “You could come over you know? Both of you.” Jessica told Sunny. She nodded her head, as if contemplating it.

                “Where’s…” Sunny started. But even at the thought, her heart raced. She was nervous. More nervous now. How would she react? Would she allow for the two, rather three, of them to spend Christmas together?

                “Where’s who?” Jessica asked curiously. Sunny bit her lip. She was scared to ask.