Several days passed, perhaps even a week. The crew of the Calling Siren ate copious amounts of fruit to save it from going to waste, carried out repairs around the lower decks and moved empty barrels from the galley to the hold, ready to hold treasures from their next encounter with a ship. Jongin was beginning to have somewhat normal length conversations with the rest of the crew by now, too, though only Minseok really spoke to him at length.

Kyungsoo barely spoke at all, to Jongin or to anyone else. Every night was like the first – the captain taking a kiss from Jongin before going to sleep in silence. While not avoiding Jongin during the day, he merely spoke to him as little and as distantly as he would anyone else, and never acknowledged the strange nightly ritual he insisted upon. Jongin figured it better to not mention it at all. When not helping the others carrying things or Chanyeol with the repairs (though all he could do for now was hand him things when he needed them) he would spend a lot of time on the upper deck, watching the waves and breathing in the sea air. Sometimes he would even mop the deck, since it was all he knew he could do, much to the amusement of the other crew members. It was strangely relaxing.

Of course, it wasn’t to last.

“There’s one on the horizon, captain.” Baekhyun brought his small telescope away from his face with a serious expression. He was one of the quietest members of the crew, and it still surprised Jongin whenever the boy actually spoke. “Blue sails. Definitely one we want.”

“Are we engaging?” Chanyeol shouted, already sprinting across the deck. He didn’t really need an answer anyway, as the captain simply nodded.

“Of course. Baekhyun, Minseok, Luhan, go to your usual positions. Jongin, you will also remain on the ship. Come with me.” He took Jongin’s wrist in hand and began to lead him away; of course he was confident that Jongin would follow along behind, he always did without question.

Minseok coughed loudly, catching the captain’s attention. “In a crew of eight, should we really leave four behind? I think I should like to join your party this time.”

“Impossible.” Kyungsoo held Jongin’s wrist tighter, staring at Minseok with those large eyes. “You’re second in command. If something were to happen to both of us, what of everyone else?”

“Then they would make their way back to shore together; they’re not babies, Kyungsoo. Unless you’d rather risk losing both your navigators, both your medics, or poor young Jongin you’ve got there, I insist I go with you. Baekhyun can guard the galley instead of the hold – after all, there’s only one way in there, Luhan will be fine by himself.”

Kyungsoo swallowed, looking around at the crew. He straightened his posture a little, standing slightly taller than before. “Fine. Get your weapon and join the others. Jongin, you need to come with me now.” Another pull on the boy’s wrist, and he followed Kyungsoo down, down through the lower decks until they came to the captain’s quarters. The gentle click-click-clicking of Kyungsoo’s boots sent a chill through Jongin, reliving the day he first encountered the pirates again. The dark wooden hallways, the clicking of Kyungsoo’s boots, the way Jongin’s heart was pounding in his chest from nerves. Would the crew of that other vessel feel the same way he did that day? Fearful for their lives, desperate, afraid?

The door closed behind them, and Kyungsoo led Jongin to the wooden desk in the corner of the room, beneath the portrait hanging on the wall. “You will be staying in here until we return, Jongin. Should anyone come in, it will be your job to defend yourself and keep them from taking anything or causing harm to anyone else on the ship. Normally nobody makes it on board, but occasionally they will slip past us, so be prepared.”

Jongin nodded, mouth going a little dry at the thought of having to defend himself. He’d been in fights before, but only with himself at stake. “I…don’t have anything to fight with, captain.”

A pot of dip and quill pens sat on the desk. Kyungsoo gestured to a particularly handsome feather in shades of blue, purple and green, and when Jongin lifted it from the pot it revealed itself to have not a pen nib at its end but a blade. The metal gleamed with bloody promise. “There are a few of those in there which should serve you just fine. If you feel your life is in danger however…” He coughed a little. “The top drawer of this desk conceals a pistol. Do not hesitate to use it if you are threatened – nothing must happen to you.”

“Why me, captain?”

Kyungsoo gave no answer, instead bringing his hands up to cup Jongin’s face. Jongin’s breath hitched – was the captain going to kiss him? Not that he was unused to being kissed by now, but for it to happen during the day was something entirely new.

The captain, however, did no such thing. He stared at Jongin wordlessly for a while, his thumbs over the younger’s cheekbones. “The door will remain unlocked, for a locked door is only suspicious. You could be in more danger if we locked the door.” Jongin nodded in understanding. “Stay as quiet as you can, and do not leave until one of us comes to find you.”

“Yes, sir.”

A carefully guarded expression, a stark contrast to how Jongin was sure his own face was at that moment. He could just feel that his nervousness showed, and Kyungsoo’s continued touching of his face did nothing to convince him otherwise. It was a light, controlled touch; slowly mapping out Jongin’s lower face and jaw.

“Be careful.”

And he left, leaving Jongin in the room alone. It suddenly felt three times as big as it did before, and several times further away from the rest of the ship. The clicking of Kyungsoo’s boots faded into silence, and Jongin sat down on the chair in front of the desk.

He put his face in his hands.

He was scared.

-

He was alone for a long time, hearing nothing at all. His heartbeat seemed too loud in his ears, his breath like a raging storm in the painful silence of the captain’s quarters. It was just like before, but this time he was on the opposite side – what if someone found him and took him away again? He could be arrested for piracy unless he somehow convinced the Sapphire officials that he was a victim.

But was he really a victim anymore?

He toyed with the pen blade idly, the feathers but taking no comfort in the softness across his fingertips. Could he really use such a thing on a sailor from his own home country? Could he really take that step onto the other side and draw a weapon against the Sapphire government?

He sighed, immediately covering his mouth to hide the sound.

What were the rest of the crew doing? Baekhyun in the galley guarding their food supplies, Luhan in the hold defending their treasures. It didn’t seem to be a coincidence, either; Baekhyun seemed hesitant to take his position while Luhan’s eyes had lit up at the thought of engaging another ship. Jongin supposed that as a medic, Baekhyun would naturally be less than enthusiastic.

What about the others? From what Jongin remembered of his first meeting with the pirates, Captain Kyungsoo had been armed to the teeth with all manner of swords and knives, large and small. Chanyeol was all brawn and more than able to take on multiple men at once, especially Sapphire Country sailors who knew how to throw a punch if they were lucky. A handsome sword had been mounted on the wall in Minseok’s quarters, which he supposed the quartermaster would have taken with him. Was he using it now? Jongin could barely imagine the stern but gentle man attacking anyone, but the only pirate he’d really seen back then was Kyungsoo, and if they had been on the seas for a long time, it would only make sense for them all to get in on the action sometimes.

Had they seized some treasures? Taken more food? Did the captain find whatever it was he was looking for? Were the crew of the other ship, however many men there were, bound on the top deck to be surveyed by the pirates? He shuddered at the thought of his shipmates possibly killing someone right now. At the sudden horrible thought of himself killing a man.

Just as Jongin was recovering from the sudden dizziness at that thought, he heard footsteps from outside the door. Was it one of his crew, perhaps to tell him the engagement was already over?

Whoever it was, their shoes didn’t click against the wooden floor like Kyungsoo’s did. Jongin’s hand hovered shakily by the pen pot as the door clicked open.

A spotless blue uniform. Worn by a tall, imposing sort of man with a thick black moustache. Jongin vaguely remembered this man from his last days on land – he was the captain of another ship, having only just landed in the harbour of Jongin’s hometown from a successful voyage to somewhere Jongin probably wasn’t important enough to know about. He knew the man, but the man didn’t know Jongin. Nonetheless, the shock of a familiar face had his hand frozen, fingers barely brushing the feathered dagger.

“Well then, what’s a young thing like yourself doing down here by yourself? If I’m not mistaken, this must be the captain’s quarters…” It was definitely the man Jongin saw before, with his loud, booming voice that just made him want to sink into the floor and slither away. Jongin didn’t like the way the man looked at him, the quirk at the corner of his mouth and the way his thick eyebrows rose made him feel uncomfortable. “Unless…you’re the captain’s boy.”

Jongin could barely breathe as the man drew closer; placing his hands on the desk and leaning over it a little to get a proper look at Jongin’s face. He didn’t want to breathe, the Sapphire captain’s breath hot and all around unpleasant on his face. He was so close to Jongin by that point, looking down at the young boy, that Jongin could practically count the grey hairs in his moustache. “Aren’t you a beautiful one? Can’t blame the captain for taking on a boy as good looking as you…certainly, you’ll be the captain’s boy on my own vessel, oh yes.”

He wished he could magically be as ugly as the man in front of him, so he would hopefully lose interest and go away. The old man’s gaze on him made Jongin feel disgusting all over, like his skin was crawling, or he was stood in a box of worms. The man touched Jongin’s face, the same way Kyungsoo did before, but it just felt awful, rough, like a personal bubble around Jongin had been violently burst.

Taking a breath, Jongin tried to will his hand to take one of the feathered blades from the pot. Even if he ended up picking out a pen it wouldn’t matter by this point, he just needed something, anything. His hand shook violently, but eventually managed to wrap around the purple and blue feather. His pulse raced in anticipation of what was going to happen next, what he could feel in his arm was going to happen. All Jongin could hear was the pounding of his heartbeat.

“It’s no surprise that the captain would keep his most valuable possession in his quarters…”

Grasping the feathered top of the blade tightly, Jongin gritted his teeth, closed his eyes and prepared to pull it from the pot and attack; but the moment never came. The roaring and hammering in his ears came to a sudden silence as a sickening thunk sound cut through his consciousness.

He opened his eyes.

The Sapphire captain was frozen in shock, colour draining from his face and hand no longer touching Jongin’s cheek. His other hand, sat on the desk, was now pinned there by a small dagger, straight through the back of his hand and digging into the wooden surface of the desk. A small, gloved hand held the handle of the dagger.

Captain Kyungsoo.

“You get out of here, right now, or I’ll run this blade through your chest.” The captain hissed, paying Jongin no mind. Jongin had never seen him look like that before – chest rising and falling with shaky breaths, eyes the size of plates. He looked almost…wild. He jerked the dagger towards himself slightly, causing the intruder to cry out in pain. Blood began to seep from the wound onto the desk, but Kyungsoo didn’t seem to notice that either. “Get out, or I’ll kill you.”

Reaching up with his free hand, Kyungsoo grabbed the sailor by the hair and slammed his face into the desk, sending the pot of pens flying onto the floor and a mixture of daggers and writing implements scattering all over. He roughly yanked the blade out of the man’s hand, wiping it on the other’s uniform before hauling him away without another word. The door slammed behind them.

Jongin fell back into the chair, letting out the breath he had been holding for far too long.

Despite the feeling that he should really be picking up the things on the floor, he had no power to move at all. Breathing was enough of an effort without thinking of controlling his limbs as well.

-

It was a while later that a clicking sound could be heard from the hallway, steady and unhurried. Jongin wondered when that sound had started registering as a comforting one, but thinking was still difficult for him. The captain opened the door and entered the room.

“Jongin.”

“Captain.” He sighed; he’d failed to protect the captain’s quarters, he was a failure, the captain would be angry at him. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Nothing has been taken and you’re not hurt. You did everything you were told.”

“I couldn’t keep him away. I could barely draw a weapon against him. If you hadn’t come…”

“Then you would have been able to do it eventually. The blade was in your hand.” Despite that same infuriating blank expression, Jongin couldn’t help but feel like the captain was trying to reassure him. His eyes were wider than usual and blood was on his hands and coat, but he seemed the same as usual otherwise. The same blood was dripped across the floor. “We were lucky to notice there was no captain on board, so I came to find him. Come now, our spoils are on deck and we need all our manpower to move it.”

Jongin followed, being led by the wrist as usual. A thought crossed his mind.

“Captain…did you find what you were looking for?”

Kyungsoo froze on the spot, looking back at Jongin over his shoulder. “What?”

“Minseok said you’re looking for something…he didn’t tell me what, I just wanted to know.”

The captain relaxed a little, but his eyes seemed a little sad. “No. Not yet. But it was a successful encounter; we took several treasures and added to our food supplies. And you’re safe.”

Jongin wanted to ask what he meant by that, but was instead pulled by the arm to the upper decks where the rest of the crew were waiting for them. He tried to hide his shock at the sight of Minseok with his arms, shirt and trousers dyed an unsettling shade of red, but the quartermaster only laughed his usual good-natured laugh and accepted some clothes Jongdae had stolen from a sailor he had knocked out in the other ship’s hold because ‘I saw you on deck and figured you’d need them.’ He realised, as the smiles of the crew proved to be infectious, that he’d fallen onto the other side already. When he was brave enough, he’d draw a sword on any Sapphire sailor for those smiles.

Captain Kyungsoo kissed Jongin more insistently that night, knocking him back against the pillows. To his own surprise, Jongin actually found himself responding just a little bit.

He wondered, for a brief moment, if this meant the captain had been worried about him.