The path he chooses to walk down on is rather quiet—too quiet for his own liking, really. He’s used to the silence, he’s used to not having much noise but this is far too much. He trails down the hall, deeper, further into the darkness because the lights don’t work here and he stops when he catches a figure that walks past the window quickly. His eyes caught that and it’s funny because he’s seen movies like these go down many, many times and it results to the main character dying because they’re dumb and it’s a horror movie.

He freezes in his spot when he hears shuffles on the ground, he’s walking faster and faster and when there’s a working light above his head, above the head of the person that’s walking away, he saw that pair of eyes.

“Hee Young!”

The gasp affirmed who it was and he’s chasing after the silhouette that was once unknown but now his mind is as clear as it could be.

“S-Stop!” He cries, running faster and faster but comes to a halt and slams a hand on the door he was too slow to walk past. He knocks on it a few times, struggling, “Open the door!”

“How the hell did you find me?!” She shouts, not unlocking the door and he’s fuming with frustration, ignoring her question, “Open!”

“No!”

“This is ridiculous!”

“Then why are you here?!”

Because I’m ridiculous, he sighs and sits down on the floor, slouching, back against the door, “You didn’t show up for class… not even practice,”

“I… I was caught up with something,” She answers, and her voice is much louder to his ears when he can feel the same heat against the spot behind the door—she’s leaning on the door, for sure.

“Like what? Don’t even try to lie,”

“How would you know?”

And he took that as a bait, “Yeah, of course I don’t—you’re always hiding from me—like I would know,”

Then he’s regretting his choice of words because she fell silent—and he’s not feeling the warmth that he felt a moment ago. He’s raking a hand through his hair, shaking his head even though he knows she can’t possibly see that. He places a hand on the door, facing it once he turns his body and speaks, “Hee Young, I didn’t mean that,”

He didn’t get any response from that, not even a single word. He wants her to say anything, out of anger, out of sadness, out of confusion… anything at all.

But nothing came.

He gave her a few seconds, then a minute, then a few but nothing came. Not a word, nothing. And it feels like there was this sudden force of tug in his heart when she couldn’t answer him no matter how hard she wanted to nor say anything but just a soft I’m sorry before she took that chance, that pause of silence to leave the room.

He could only watch as her figure left the room, the door closing behind her and with a silent click, she’s no longer with him.

“You can’t keep doing this, Hee Young…” He feels tired, he feels like all energy is out from him but he keeps going. “Whatever you’re hiding from me… I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think,”

Then her reply is rapidly quick.

“How do you know?”

“Because if you’re hiding from it that long from me, I or… it must’ve mean a lot to you,”

“W-What’s wrong?”

The younger shakes her head and clutches onto the older one’s waist, “What do I do…?”

Hee Min the back of Hee Young, slowly nudging her into the room, “What are you talking about?”

“I’m a horrible person,” She breathes in the middle of the silent sobs she’s been releasing quietly, lifting her chin up, allowing Hee Min to frame her cheeks in her hands, brushing the tears away, “Don’t say that…”

“I’ve been hiding this from him for years and just because of my stupidity, of the way I feel, of the way I think… it’s all happening again,”

Kai takes a step away from the wall he’s peeking from. He’s closing his eyes because he can’t look anymore and his heart is almost aching because he can still hear her crying despite the distance. He’s shaking his head, he’s walking away but leaving pieces of his heart because he’s lost his heart—he’s lost his mind. He can’t think straight and he knows when he reaches his dorm, it’s not going to be any different.

Though it took her a while, she finally spoke.

“Can’t you leave me alone?”

“You think I came all the way here just to hear you say that?”

He swore he heard her grumbling but he couldn’t exactly tell what she’s grumbling about. He hears a light thud and somehow he’s wishing that he could feel wherever she’s intended to hit him because for once, he wants to see her.

“Why don’t you open the door where you can hit me properly?”

“Maybe I will,”

“Then do it,”

There were shuffles on the other end and he’s provoking her even more.

“What are you, scared?”

“Don’t test me,”

“I’m evaluating,”

“You little fuc—“ He’s amused, he’s laughing but she’s rolling her eyes, “I’m not falling for it,”

“You were so close,”

“Not close enough,”

“You know I’m going to stay here until you open the door, right?”

“Let’s see how long this is going to go,”

It’s like challenging who’s more stubborn than the other.

“Let’s.”

 

 

---

 

 

It came down to a moment when Hee Young’s feeling a buzzing in her pocket. She fishes out her phone and sees her phone screen lighting up with a text message from someone she had roughly expected to get a text from.

‘Young-ah… are you free? I’m at your dorm now.’

Hee Young is cursing and shaking her head, texting something like ‘Sorry unnie, I’m sort of caught up in something now…’

‘Please? We need to talk—it’s about mom…’

Hee Young then counts the possibility of Hee Min being dead tired but here she was anyway, searching for her to talk about something and she’s gone out of her way to come to her dorm—bloody hell. Plus, the topic about her mother wanted her to avoid the topic even more but it would be unfair to let Hee Min go through this all alone especially when the two are finally together—so might as well…

Hee Young then glances at the time at the top right corner on her phone and notices it was about night time, almost and she’s praying the idiot next door is asleep.

‘Give me ten minutes—I’m on my way.’

‘Thank you. ♥’

Hee Young gets up carefully, tugging her bag properly and stuffing her phone back into her pocket. She unlatches the door, unclicks the lock and she’s clenching her eyes shut as she quietly peels the door open. It’s a very slow and tormenting process but she’s manage to open a gap wide enough for her to slip through.

She pokes her head through, testing how far she can go and she gets a peek of him leaning against the wall by the door, his head tilted to the side and his eyes closed. His plump lips parted just a bit to breathe comfortably and his legs stretched out in relaxation.

Biting her bottom him, feeling her knees turn into rubber, she’s taking one step out, then two and then she turns her back against him but hears a groan and then a hand latches onto her hand.

“Damn it,” She breathes, feeling his hand curl tighter onto hers and he’s tugging her back.

She glances over her shoulder, meeting with his gaze and that’s when she realized he was never sleeping in the first place.

“You weren’t sleeping, were you?”

He lets her see a smile, and he shakes his head, “No, not really,”

She lets out a heavy breath and tries to shake him off but he’s holding onto her tighter, standing up and then giving her a rough shove until she has no choice but to face him. He pins her against the wall, both hands on her shoulders and he’s staring down on her with his eyes dilated with this feeling building up inside of him—think straight, Kai. Say what you need to.

“Why’re you avoiding me?” It was a question that was hard to get past his lips, but he did it anyway.

He’s feeling the irritation growing from within when she dodges the bullet.

“I don’t know what you mean,”

He shakes his head and chuckles, clearly out of the bittersweet feeling biting his gut but he’s not stupid. His hands give her shoulders a squeeze and he makes sure she feels it. “Do I look that idiotic to you? You were literally running away from me a moment ago, I’ve seen it.”

Her eyes close because she can’t look at him and he’s feeling her tremble in his hands. He sees her eyelids are fully shut but there’s no denying that even if they were open, he’d be able to tell she’s afraid—but of what? In the end, he’s the one talking. He’s the one expressing his feelings.

He’s the one desperately trying to hold on.

“L-Look, I… I’m sorry if me kissing you like that out of the blue shocked you but I’m shocked myself. I’m confused, I get pissed off when you’re with someone else, I get irritated when some guy tries to get close, I get annoyed when you’re rude, I get confused when you don’t tell me the truth but I feel lost when I’m not with you,” He shakes his head, meeting eyes with her when she opens her own, looking up, “And I know it’s sudden, I know it’s too soon—I know it’s very unexpected but… can’t you at least give it a try?”

She gently plucks his hands off her shoulders and for a moment, he’s thinking she’s about to run away once more. He clutches onto one of her hands when she tries to let them go, his eyes are searching an answer in her own, “Stop running—stop.”

“I’m confused too, okay?” She admits, talking in the quietest tone he’s heard her speaking in and she’s tilting her chin up to lock eyes with him again, “I’m not exactly who you think I am. I’m not just a stranger you’ve met all of a sudden and… I just… I don’t know how to tell you,”

He witnesses the flash of fear in her eyes and all he wants to do is make that go away—he doesn’t like it one bit. It’s like there’s something only she can fix on her own and if he can’t help, he has to at least try to understand.

He’s trying really hard right now, despite the curiosity and the need to know eating him alive.

“Then tell me when you’re ready,” He softens, seeing how her eyes are now gazing elsewhere, as if she’s lost deep in her thoughts and he’s wishing she could bring him there with him.

“It’s not just something I can bring up because… I’ve never tried bringing it up for years and it’s just—“

He’s stubborn and he doesn’t want to hear anything that would be a detour for her to tell him the truth. He’s not listening and he’s resorting to his own methods.

And that was leaning in to press his lips against hers, making her almost shout, making her lost the words she lined up nicely to say and making her out of breath when he’s not giving her leeway—the kiss was needy, it was rushed—but it didn’t feel out of place. He tastes like a hint of mint and she’s wondering why she can’t push him away. He’s persistent, pulling away to see if she would speak and if she even tries to mutter another word like but, it’s, he’s not having it at all. Her hand is squeezing his so tight, it feels like she’s about to break his fingers. He smirks, then he’s closing in the gap between their lips once more, stopping her from speaking and she’s somehow debating if she should continue letting this go because this wasn’t bad at all.

It’s more than a kiss, it’s less than what love feels like but he’s pulling away with their minds both in a haze. She’s closing her eyes, feeling his breath on her skin and he feels her hand loosening the grip on his. He takes the opportunity to slip them away from hers, using both hands to frame her face carefully before he pressed his forehead onto hers as he stared at her closed eyes.

He sighs but quietly says, “When you’re ready, when you can tell me… tell me. Anything but avoiding me like this because I hate to say it but it’s driving me ing insane…”

She takes a moment, longer than he had expected and she’s not opening her eyes to meet with his just yet. He feels her shaking and it’s making his heart pound harder and harder as the seconds ticked by through the terrifying silence. Her eyes open after what felt like forever and he’s staring her down with all he’s got because that’s all he can do. opens and his does the same out of his conscious. She ends up smiling—and he does the exact same.

 “I guess I can’t avoid you—we have to practice.”

His smile grows wider.

“I’ll take anything I can get.”

 

 

---

 

 

“Aw, if you beat me up, who would you dance with for your evaluation, princess?”

“Little ,” She hisses, using an elbow to jab his abdomen and he’s clutching onto his stomach, “Is this how you treat your boyfriends?”

“You’re not my boyfriend,” She snarls, giving him a glare and he’s chuckling, “Oh yeah?” He slings an arm around her shoulder, “But you’re my girlfriend,”

She closes her eyes out of the sudden fill of anger and she’s clenching her fists, “For ’s sake, Kai, can you please not be an for two seconds?”

“Hm,” He hums for a while, and just when she thinks they can walk in peace because they’re almost to the door, he speaks, “Two seconds are up,” He grins, pulling her closer by the shoulder and she’s debating if she should shove him out of the window nearby that would conveniently be open and he’d fall ten stories down.

“Oh my goodness…” She’s tolerating every last second because they’re almost to her dorm.

Once they reach, and many incoherent words later (she wasn’t paying attention), she slips away from his grip and takes note of the figure by her door. Kai follows her gaze and then bows, “N-Noona!”

Hee Min smiles, “I see the both of you patched things up,”

“S-Sort of, for now, at least,” Hee Young is answering carefully, turning to her side to see Kai pulling a quick smile, “For now?”

She’s rolling her eyes and then motioning him away, “You should head back—it’s almost late and—“ She abruptly stops speaking when she feels his lips briefly on her cheek and then she’s left to staring at him with eyes as wide as saucers because her sister is right there and she’s not blind.

He chuckles when he sees how there’s a tint of pink shading her cheeks and he’s wondering just how red he’s able to make her blush, “See you tomorrow,”

She’s unable to speak because he’s already on his way, she’s definitely feeling her sister’s stare on her and she reaches up to touch her own cheek, warning her sister, “Not a word about this,”

Hee Min does a move to zip her lips and chuckles, “None shall be spoken.”

 

 

---

 

 

“You didn’t mention sleeping over was part of the plan,” Hee Young breathes, setting up the spare mattress underneath her bed and now she’s a sweating mess. Hee Min chuckles and remains on her sister’s bed because she can’t help or else she’d only be a bother and she works faster alone, “Well, it would ruin the surprise,”

Hee Young sighs and manages to get it into place, putting on the spare bedsheet, bringing out another pillow from her cabinet and then she’s changing her clothes swiftly in the timespan of five minutes. Then she’s flopping down onto the mattress because who needs to eat at a time like this?

“I’m guessing we’re having instant cup noodles?” Hee Min leaps over Hee Young’s sprawled up figure on the mattress, eyes closed, heavy breathing and total exhaustion took over but… a smile seemed to have popped out of nowhere. There was a vibration in her pocket and she pulled out whilst she heard her sister prepping up two cups of noodles by the kitchen area (just a small counter, sink and fridge, nothing fancy).

‘You know this means I can shamelessly text you whatever I want, right?’

She hesitated on the reply, but it came out quicker than she realized.

‘As long as you know you’re being shameless, it’s fine with me.’

She didn’t know if she was dreaming or not but when the words came up on the screen to the next message she received, all she remembers was the smile that remained on her lips.

‘Get some rest because we’re going to practice a lot tomorrow, you know, to make up for the amount of hours you’ve missed out today. Goodnight.’

She was about to reply with something in the lines of ‘alright’ or ‘sure’ or maybe even ‘see you’ but when the next message came up, she knew she can’t reply it—not when her heart was doing way too many things, feeling too much.

‘Ah, dream of me tonight, princess.’

“I’ve never seen you smile that wide in your life,” Hee Min stated, settling down on the space on the floor beside the mattress, placing the cups of noodles down before the chopsticks, “It’s either you won a lottery or Minseok sent a photo of the motorcycles there in the states.”

Hee Young is putting her phone aside, shaking her head as she looked up to show her sister the smile that she’s had on, “It’s none of that, actually.”

She sits comfortably and then faces her sister, "So what is it that you want to talk about?"

She notices her sister is quiet but she's occupied with the noodles and the steam that she momentarily doesn't take note of it. Until, her sister says, "Mom's coming for your evaluation performance,"

She nearly drops her chopsticks and her eyes are now meeting with her sister's, "What?"

 

 

---

 

 

Kai leans back on his bedrest and notices the look on Kyungsoo’s face when he tears away his eyes from his phone, “What?”

“You’re smiling like a sixteen year old high school girl,”

Kai rolls his eyes and ignores the words coming out of Kyungsoo’s mouth because at this point, he really doesn’t give two s about what he thinks. “Yeah, and I bet I’m pretty, too.”

“In fact, you would be. Just throw on a wig and you could be prettier than Hee Young,”

Kai puts his phone down and gives Kyungsoo a look, “Now where did that come from?”

“That’s for making me eat half of your lunch,”

Kai snorts, shaking his head, “I didn’t make you eat it—my teacher did,”

“Same thing,” Kyungsoo waves a hand, mumbling softly that he didn’t mean it and he’s focusing on his book once more as Kai rolls back down onto his bed, head on the pillow, eyes staring up to the ceiling and he’s trying to clear his thoughts. At first he’s thinking of what to have lunch for tomorrow, then he’s letting his mind wander off to the places he’d never expect to go into. He’s resting comfortably and his mind takes over.

“Up next, Kim Jongin and …!”

He proudly stands by the side, standby and there’s a person behind them giving them both pep talk and then he realizes that he’s not alone. There’s people surrounding him and he can hear them by the side as well—there had to be many, many people here for the whole auditorium to make echo such noises. However, his attention snapped to the person beside him. She was about his height, slightly shorter, round brown eyes and she had a small frown on her face, tiny creases on her forehead and he’s wondering how someone so young could have such expression plastered on that pretty face.

“Calm down, we’ve done this many times,” He’s chastising, and he’s wondering how he can be so young to say such words, in such tone.

“You don’t get it, you never get it,” She scowls, getting on stage when it’s her cue and he’s waiting there for his own, huffing at her, crossing his arms, “All I did was try to help,”

“You know she’s like that,” A voice soothingly makes him calm down, and when he turns to his side, it’s his sister.

It feels so real, too real that he knows it’s too cruel for such thing to project in his mind especially when those are the moments he longed for, those are the moments he’ll never relive again.

It was too cruel.

He flinches when he feels his phone vibrating by the side of his pillow, the familiar ring tone buzzing into his ears and he’s thankful for that. There’s only so much his heart can take and… he’d never want to go down that lane, ever.

He reaches for his phone and then notices that in the midst of him walking down such path in his mind, he subconsciously closed his eyes to get a clearer picture—no wonder it felt so real… He looks over his shoulder, turning to his side to see Kyungsoo tucked in his bed, eyes closed, book by his side and the lights all switched off—that added to the reason how it was so easy to fall asleep.

He glances back to his phone, and taps on the message.

He smiles like a kid, he’s grinning so wide, it’s bigger than the moon.

He sets his phone aside, heart at ease, mind composed; he was happy now and that’s all that matters.

‘Maybe I will.’
Hee Young, received… read. 

He slept incredibly well that night.

 

 

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