Chapter 14: Spartace

Jong kook thought the world had suddenly stopped and later he’s sure, he’d cringe with all the stuff going on inside him, but not now. His brain ceased to function and in the eerie silence; he could only hear the wild beating of his heart. He finally understood, finally knew what to do and for the first time, he was willing to admit he was scared before. However, not anymore. There are things far more terrifying than his present fears if he looks past into the future.

Ji hyo laughed breaking the spell, smiling awkwardly at Jong kook. She didn’t mean to do the first move but at that moment, she just thought… that actions had always been more effective than words when it comes to both of them. She looked down when he continued to only stare.

This reminded her of her first night out with a boy, on prom night. She didn’t know what to do or what to say. Worst, this time, she really liked the person with her unlike the awkward boy she went out with years ago. And she actually knew what to do or what to say. It just can’t get out of her.

“Hey… oppa.” she bit her lips to prevent herself from saying more. What if she had overstepped her bounds? What if they weren’t ready yet and then she did that?

“Hey too, Ji hyo…” she felt relief wash over her hearing his voice. It told her not to be scared. It was reassuring, telling her no one is running away today. Finally, she braved herself to catch his gaze and she thought she was so silly for thinking she shouldn’t have kissed him. If there’s a regretful thing in the event, it’s about not doing the deed properly.

“Ji hyo-yah… you still with me?” he said, waving his hand in front of Ji hyo who was giving him a strange, embarrassed look.

“Yeah, it’s nothing oppa… I mean, you know. We really haven’t done things properly ever since things became a bit… us.” She stammered, pointing at herself and him alternately, smiling and blushing but not daring to tell him what that proper thing was she thinking of.

She had never imagined that those things you only see in movies or read in books actually exists. She swears she could even hear a background music, or maybe she’s just to wired up to realize they were still in public and there are music blaring around them. “This insanity between us. It’s really, really crazy oppa. But it’s nice.”

“I know. Proper things don’t work with us Ji hyo. At least this feels right.”

They fell into comfortable silence again, a habit that they carried out even outside filming. Jong kook was already sure where it would all end up after that day but he wanted to make sure there would be no regrets today. With a deep breath, he says to her, “Ji hyo-yah… you know about free samples right?”

 She nods and Jong kook stood up, offering his hand to her. “Seung Im-ah… should we sample it first? You know…being with me as your – b-boy friend… and if by the end of the day and you think… or if you feel that it isn’t enough, then we could just walk away without a word. I know, you too… it’s the same here with me… so uh, if you’re okay with that then let’s go. Did I even made sense?” He hoped and prayed he didn’t sound like a fool or a cold-hearted jerk. He just wanted to make this easy and to avoid hurts. He may not have realized it yet, but he was already hers even if today she throws him away.

“Sue me but I understood it perfectly. What if I don’t walk away… and you only stayed because I’m not going anywhere?”

“I swear to be honest to you. If you walk away… I won’t follow you. I, I just don’t think I want to ever walk away from you… but if ever I feel like going, trust me it will break me into pieces, but yeah I will be honest and do the deal.”

“You’re willing to let me go?”

“I only said, I will not follow you. It will be hard to just drop everything. I don’t really know…”

“Fair enough. Let’s do it your way and don’t blame me if I get stuck on you.”

“I like that, you can stick to me, wherever you want.” he replied, opening his arms wide to receive Ji hyo. She playfully hit him, both of them oblivious to everything around them.

With a smile, she finally places her hand in his.

The last time Ji hyo stood in the cold eating street food with a ‘boy friend’ was years ago, maybe in high school? She can’t even remember when was the last time she had that much fun with ddeokbokki and blood sausages. They didn’t exchange many words and often they find each other thinking and saying the same things coincidentally.

Maybe others do not believe that sometimes, the happiest moments feels like you’re in a movie or you’re shooting an MV without any script or dialogues. There was only glances, little touches, smiles, laughter and feelings. Even the snow doesn’t feel as cold, nor does the dark falling around them as lonely as before.

In real life, it happens. In real life, it’s more meaningful. And what more is beautiful than finding someone who could tell you the most important things with only a look? When that someone can read you like an open book and you are the same with him? It may sound scary… having someone know everything, read you, know you… but the truth is, we all want to find that person. It’s not something to fear… because there would always be that someone whom you can share everything with. It’s not 100% heartache-proof, but it’s the best deal you can get and a tip of advice -- when it comes you just know.

She wasn’t scared anymore.

He wasn’t scared anymore.

“They must be really disappointed don’t you think? Or maybe not.”

“Right… I think the VJs reported it to them or maybe they are watching right now oppa.”

“Eyy, you think they’d go that far?”

“Who knows?”

They lazily strolled along the old, unused railway tracks converted into a park and bike path. How they ended up in that place was not really clear. “You want to ride a bike Ji hyo?”

She looked at the map. She had lived there for a decade but she still gets lost in her own neighborhood. Ilsan is not actually far from Seoul and Lake Park, which is the best attraction there, surrounds the popular spots in Korea flocked by both tourists and the locals. In fact, if they ride enough, they would eventually end up in SBS building.

“Oppa, are you sure?” she said pointing at the SBS landmark in the map.

“It’s not like they’d ambush us if we pass by, right?”

She shrugged, tucking the map away in her pocket.

The two continued to walk along without a plan or a destination. It just feels like, they had arrived. There would still places they need to go to, but at that moment, they were already contented beside each other. Or maybe, they just don’t want to part yet… even if it’s not as if they’re really going to be separated forever.

They passed by a shop with a time travel motif and they were reminded of reality. It’s already past eight in the evening and they cannot just walk to the ends of the earth forever. He slowed down his steps and held her hand even tighter. “You know… that thing earlier Ji hyo….”

“So, it ends here… do I have to say it now?” Jong kook nodded, he also wished this moment could last but there would be more, greater things if she chooses to stay. “Oppa… I like this… I think sometimes we don’t plan but it just feels like you know, you and me, beside each other. Even if we don’t talk or put much effort, it’s as if everything conspires to put us together. That’s funny, because I don’t believe in fate. I still don’t actually… it’s just funny, too much coincidence between us…

“… I also thought am I just going with this because of that fate or it feels right this should be it thing? I don’t know actually, but whatever happens now, it’s a choice I made. I’ll just try not to regret and I don’t think it will be hard…”

“Right… but I gotta admit, sometimes I just can’t help but be there. I don’t know but I just find all the excuses to be around you and now I know why.” He gave her a meaningful look and she got that clear. “I hate coffee. I don’t like drinking. I can’t stomach grease and frankly your eating habit is poison to me.”

“Oh poor you I’m so sorry… you know, I never forced those stuff on you oppa.”

“You didn’t. I did it. It’s my choice and I don’t regret them.” Jong kook stepped closer to Ji hyo, their bodies leaning at each other’s warmth. He was suddenly grateful that the cold had driven people away inside the shops. They were so near yet no one dared to reach out. He clenched his fists, obviously holding it in. “Those were my risks… but there’s a risk that’s worth more than its consequences – I think I could add that too. First, it’s either one of us walks away, we both stay or we both run away and I promise that next Monday we’d act as if nothing ever happened. We haven’t said it yet… we can still go away and remember this as a nice dream, or a friendly get together. It can be anything but that. Just… say it or do it Ji hyo.”

She grinned. It was all a show, a unique way to ask permission even if he already knew her answer. She never imagined it would be like this between them. Nothing direct, nothing concrete yet it’s the best for them. So what if they get a little poetic or use a bit of creativity here? If you simplify it, it all amounts to those words that she didn’t really need. She got her man right there, in his own way he’s asking her, telling her everything she needs.

It’s enough, more than enough actually. Maybe she’s gone crazy but she’s seeing things.

She’s seeing joyful summers with him, a refreshing spring, a colorful autumn and warm winters for many years. There would be more surprises, some fights they can’t avoid. Kids, there would be little ones… there would be a nice home. A family that she thought she didn’t want until then. They say memories flash by when you die, but it was nice to know, when you see something that makes you feel more alive, you also see crazy. The nice, touching kind of crazy.

Not that she needed someone else to make her life any more perfect. He just made her see how it’s already perfect, and how it could be more with the two of them together.

“Hey… oppa.” He raised his brows, looking hopeful and so adorable. His hands were trembling eliciting a giggle from her. How could she walk away from this and not regret this day? It will be either her best Christmas ever or the worst. “Is it just me or it’s getting chilly? Did we agree that we have to wait for, ten or twenty minutes? Because for your information oppa… unless you want to stay here until we’re both iced, I’m not leaving.”

If she could ask a present from Jong kook for Christmas, she’d ask time to freeze. Just so, she could take a video or a picture of him after she said her line. She wanted to keep that image forever, or maybe she will. Not in a camera, not in print, but somewhere safe and permanent.

“I’m not going anywhere too, not without you. So before we get frozen here… maybe we should go?”

“To where? SBS? Are we going to take a look of what they had prepared?”

“Actually Haha sent me a text, said they were having a Christmas party. But you’re cold already right? So let’s skip it…”

“Right… and my place is nearer. It’s also warm…” she snickered seeing Jong kook trying to maintain a poker face. It made her only want to more. “And it’s empty.” She almost had to pinch herself to stop giggling when Jong kook looked scandalous. “Hey ert, we still had those movies we haven’t finished watching.”

“Ah… right… that. Sure then… your place.” Jong kook blushed and averted his gaze. He found a shop and outside, there was an arch with crazy lights and decorated with mistletoes. Ji hyo followed his gaze and the next thing he knew they were under the legendary plant, practicing a famous tradition.

 His hand s around her waist pulling her closer. He was too warm, smelled so clean and he had that unique scent that reminded her of the sun and the gym. It was something very Jong kook and despite his muscles, he was so gentle and careful. Ji hyo’s breath hitched when he pulled her to him. Their lips curled into a smile, their eyes only at each other. Who cares if they were being corny? They had stayed silent long enough, did too much teasing, ran beside each other for years. Wanted each other for a long time.

“Hey… since we never really did anything normal or proper… I guess this isn’t weird anymore?”

“I like it that way. Don’t worry oppa.”

“Nah, I know. I’m just breaking my rule today…”

“What is that then?”

“I seriously like the silent thing, glance, touch, fate-y coincidences slash blatant efforts of mine. But let me just say… I really like you, for a long time now.”

Was it bad that she burst out laughing? She laughed with him feeling silly, but he didn’t let go, instead he pulled her closer.

“I made you say cheesy stuff, pulled you into situations we’re not used to. I even made you drink coffee… made you run from Anyang to Ilsan… I guess I just have to do this one thing properly or else I’d die waiting for next time.” She winked at him, grabbed the collar of his coat and pulled him down to her, drowning him in a passionate deep kiss under the mistletoe while the snow rained around them.

Jong kook might not know it yet, but those words… I like you. Ji hyo knew better, she tasted it herself and who cares if he didn’t say the big phrase? He sure poured it out in that proper kiss.

I love you

Happy new year and thanks for reading :D it was supposed to be a Christmas fic since the date here in the story is December 25... I guess a late one is better than none lol XD