MY POV:

OH. MY. GOD. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FACE? Why are my lips bleeding and my cheeks swollen? Someone beat me up in my sleep? Who could it have been? It must have been an intruder-- maybe another jealous fangirl that snuck into Shinee's dorm last night. Or maybe Jessica from next door. After all, she had sung a duet with Jonghyun and she had looked at him with a whole lot of chemistry-- did she have a mental breakdown yesterday when she had broken into Shinee's dorm and saw me in Jonghyun's bed? Maybe then she confronted Jonghyun and screamed "WHY THE HELL IS THERE A GIRL IN YOUR BED?!!?"; or perhaps she tried to use the sob story and say something along of lines of "...-sobs- I can't believe you Jonghyun...you....-sniffles-.....what happened to us?". To which Jonghyun replied,"I'm sorry...I just couldn't stop myself from falling in love with her. She's so cute, so kind, so absolutely loveable." I probably snorted to accentuate my cuteness. Jessica's face quite possibly turned bright red and exploded from all the silicone she'd inserted into her nose.  "KIM JONG HYUN, " she howled for the whole world to hear, "you will pay for this. You will pay for leaving me when I'm obviously better for you than her." With an epic but failed head turn (because she had too much hairspray in) she left. Jonghyun, of course, being the gentleman that he is, grabbed her by the arm and did the k-drama arm-grab-and-pull-into-chest thing.

"I'm very sorry for hurting you, Jessica, but please let us be. I can't be greedy and ask for your blessings, but at least try not to get into a cat fight with her. If you hurt her, I'm going to have to pay for her medical bills. I love her, but I don't love her enough to actually pay for her medical bills-- such cheapness comes with being Asian." With that he twirled her out the door, hoping that her one sided love would eventually be requited by someone else....

Jessica, of course, wasn't nearly as nice as Jonghyun. She didn't want her one sided love to be unrequited, especially not when the guy she was after was the HOTTEST GUY IN THE WORLD. So she decided that she needed to use her SNSD cat fight skills and beat me up with her fellow SNSD sisters when I was left alone and vulnerable. With pitchforks and bell peppers, they came in and let out all of their gas they had inside of them from eating so many tomatoes....(I have no idea what I'm talking about LOL)

Hm. Maybe it wasn't Jessica. Wasn't there also a little bit of something between Minho and Yuri? Perhaps it was Yuri, because she thought there was that little bit of something between her and Minho? But when she came to find Minho last night, she saw something she wans't supposed to have seen. MINHO WAS STEALING ONEW'S CHICKEN SUPPLY TO KEEP HIS TAEMINNIE HAPPY. It broke her heart that while he was willing to steal for Taemin,  he wouldn't even pay for her plastic surgery to keep her looking pretty.

But then why would she beat me up? Oh well. Women's minds work in weird ways.

JONGHYUN'S POV:

Wow. It's good to know that Key's not the only one who can't think to himself. But honestly, where the hell is she getting all these weird ideas from? I thought onions gave people gas, not tomatoes. If they did, wouldn't Italy smell like a dirty outhouse then, since they served pasta with tomato sauce day in and day out? And why would I do the arm-grab-and-pull-into-chest thing with Jessica, of all people? I would much rather do that with her, since her reaction would be 10 times better than Jessica's. Jessica, at most, would just attempt a feeble slap at me then melt into blonde goo. She, on the other hand, would have a champagne tower sized nosebleed, a seizure, then melt into a puddle at my feet. And how did Yuri get into this? She's too preoccupied with her yoga classes to like Minho in that sense. The only reason why she seems like she's close with Minho is because she's constantly threatening him that she'd kick his with her pro yoga skills if he kept on stealing her cucumbers. I can totally understand that, since SNSD's portions are so small that one cucumber is already like half a day's worth of food for them. It's like he's trying to starve SNSD even more than SM already is.

"Hyung...hyung? " Taemin's voice pulled me from my internal debate.

"Hm?"

"She just left...with a chainsaw...and your Chanel sunglasses...."

"Where'd she go?"

"She was muttering something about how Jessica is such a big mean douche bag."

"..she went to SNSD's dorm...with my...Gucci sunglasses?"

"That and a chainsaw."

I turned and sprinted out the door towards SNSD's dorm. Was she crazy? She went off to SNSD'S dorm with MY GUCCI sunglasses. Gucci sunglasses have a survival rate of 0.0005% when they get to SNSD. And on top of that, they were MINE. The survival rate of anything I touch gets cut in half instantly. And I actually liked those! Geez.

"Ok, ok, um...we can talk this over calmly...just put down the sunglasses...they're innocent....leave them alone...no NO! Don't put them near the chainsaw, you can cut Yoona if you like, we all like Gucci sunglasses more than we like Yoona....."

I snickered. You see why I didn't bother mentioning the chainsaw at all? SNSD members like Gucci sunglasses more than they like each other; for all they cared, Yoona could have been brutally slaughtered in half and it wouldn't matter, so long as they got their sunglasses. Women are amazing.

"WHICH ONE OF YOU ASSAULTED ME WHEN I WAS SLEEPING?"

SNSD looked at each another and shrugged.

"What?"

"YOU HEARD ME. WHO ASSAULTED ME?"

"None of us did. We don't even know who you are."

She blinked and set the chainsaw on the ground, even though it was still on. It sawed a couple of table legs off, no biggie. "Well then, if you didn't, who did?"

"I did." Key somehow magically appeared beside me.

Everyone's heads turned towards Key, then it became just me and her since SNSD became distracted by my sunglasses. They started sniffing it, saying how I smelled amazingly y, how my sweat would be the best selling perfume there ever would be. I agreed with them.
 

"Why? What'd I ever do to you?" She looked hurt, puppy dog eyes welling up with tears. Key smirked and pulled my face closer to his. He leaned in and gave me the hottest kiss he had ever given me in his life.

"Because," he panted, "of that."

No SNSD hate! Just using the rumours about them that are going around. And Key is being very naughty ^_^

K-dramas are cool...you all know what I'm talking about yes? The epic moment of "I'm going to leave" then "No don't leave" then "I'm sorry, you hurt me too badly because you poked me with a pineapple" then grabs-arm-and-pulls-into-chest by the guy who hit the girl with a pineapple.