JONGHYUN'S POV:

Oh yeah baby, bring it on! Key really should do this to me more often. Mm, he's so tasty...-drifts off to dreamland while standing in SNSD's dorm- (Wow, Jonghyun's becoming quite naughty too ^_^)

JESSICA'S POV:

OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. TIFFANY, HYOYEON, SEOHYUN, SUNNY, YURI, YOONA, SOOYOUNG, TAEYEON!!! COME LOOK COME LOOK! It's Jonghyun's...............SUNGLASSES.

KEY'S POV:

Huh. She thought that she was Jongie's future wife? JONGHYUN'S MINE AND ONLY MINE. No one else can have a piece of Jonghyun, especially not now, since I just planted a territorial kiss on him. And seeing how he's enjoying it, there's absolutely no way in hell that she is taking Jong baby away from me. Puppy dog eyes don't work on me lady; there is no way in hell I'm letting Jong go. So stop looking so pathetic and get on with it. Go like Onew or something else instead. That child is just too obsessed with chicken for his own good. I mean, honestly, who on earth replaces Juliet with Chicken besides Onew? That'd be like Romeo going cannibal and eating Juliet. Somehow cannibalism just kind of ruins the romantic tragedy.

Oh my, Jonghyun. Where are your hands going? We ARE in public right now, but if you did that to me at home...actually never mind, just continue....oh such a naughty boy....no no, shirts don't come off quite yet, but your muscles are so dearly tempting......no NO, just ignore SNSD...they're just sunglasses....I'll get you new ones.....maybe some cheap knock-off ones from the mall that sells just about every "haute-couture" brand...y'know, like Sain-Lauron? Sounds like St. Laurent, just has a different spelling...

MY POV:

I was hurt. KEY YOU BIG DOUCHE BAG. You think that I didn't know what little chance I had of being together with Jonghyun? And you just have to come along and ruin what little hope I had in the first place. And why would I want Onew? I want a man that loves me, not my cooking. Or my family's non-existent chicken farm, since I destroyed it last year trying to make a shrine dedicated to Shinee. It consisted primarily of chicken dung, but there were also a few feathers and some rooster combs I had sadistically cut off from roosters when they were still alive. Quit kissing him in front of me! Screw it. If you're going to do that, I'm going to go all out too. We'll see who wins in the end.

"JONGHYUN APPA!"

Haha! They broke apart, both panting heavily. Jonghyun turned to me and cocked his eyebrow.

"Appa? I'm pretty sure I'm not your father."

"No, you're not, but if I didn't say that you wouldn't stop making out with Key."

Jonghyun shrugged (aegyo style, he was so cute) but let go of Key, who was glaring at me angrily. How does your own medicine taste, bud? Not so great huh? Just as their hands were about to lace together again, I hurled myself between them, making Key kiss my messy hair instead of Jonghyun's oh-so-yummy lips. Which meant that, teehee, I GOT JONGHYUN'S LIPS INSTEAD. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That will teach you to mess with me, Shinee's Almighty Key (wow that rhymed).  Even the mightiest warriors are no match for fangirls. FATALITY, ahahaha.

"WHAT THE HELL? GET OUT OF HERE!" Key tried to push me out of the way, but instead made me topple over onto Jonghyun, making us fall into a pile. It would have looked very wrong from the side, since I was on top of Jonghyun, Key on top of me. That is, it would have looked really awkward to anyone besides SNSD; since they were still too occupied with Jongie's sunglasses to notice that there was suddenly a dirty version of Doggy Pile going on in their hallway.

"Um...what was that about not corrupting me?" Taemin appeared with Minho, both of them holding fried chicken. Onew popped beside them, carrying an entire bucketful of the delicious fried cholesterol. Key got off of me and threw me at Onew, death glaring me the whole time, and pulled Jonghyun up.

"Nothing. You didn't see anything. Nothing happened, nothing ever will happen. Not as long as I'm here."

Onew snorted into his bucket as he fished through it, looking for a drumstick. "Right. Nothing happened."

"You know...you actually have a really nice body...and your lips are really soft...." Jonghyun was actually being serious. Really man? That just sounds so erted. Not that I mind of course, since it's Jonghyun, but aren't we progressing a bit fast?

"JONGHYUN! What did you just say?" Key's mouth dropped with shock, possibly dislocating his jaw in the process. Jonghyun looked sheepish.

"..well....blame..nature? I have too much testosterone for my own good? I mean, it's not my fault my brian is 50% testosterone? Right? Maybe?" Jonghyun didn't sound too sure of himself, although that might have been because Key looked like he was about to cry. There was a long pause.

"Go on, go on, this is the best part of a drama. Don't stop it here!" Onew and 2min urged, looking like gossiping ajummas who ate chicken while watching shojo idol dramas.

And then of course Key slapped me again. Then I slapped him back. He slapped me again. Jonghyun joined Onew and sat down to watch the show.

"That's not fair, Key. I'm a girl."
 

"Well then, how do you want to fight?"

"Cat fight. You know, the ones where we don't do anything but feebly wave our hands at each other?"

"What? Oh.OH. Sure."

"Ok. Ready? 3,2,1-GO!"

We cat fought for half an hour. Taemin, Minho, Onew, and Jonghyun left halfway through to go watch their own concert DVD. Wow. Did they really like looking at themselves that much? I mean, yeah, if I was as good looking as Jonghyun I would enjoy looking at myself all the time too, but the thing is, they weren't really even watching the DVD. Taemin and Minho had gone off to their room, I'm assuming, because I heard some very inappropiate language and . Onew was reading a chicken recipe book aloud, then burst out crying and said something about not wanting to eat anymore chicken because Chicken was a chicken. Then there was a thump and a sudden exclamation. "Oh! Thank you Jonghyun! That's so smart! I should read a book on how to raise chickens instead!"

Onew is such a special child.

JONGHYUN'S POV:

Wow, those 2 are still going at it? How can they stand cat fighting for so long? It's probably the lamest branch of 'fighting' ever invented. Key could beat her up without trying; but he actually has the patience to girl slap her for a full half hour? Man, he must be bored. But if he's that bored, why aren't we having more intimate moments? Geez, he has the time to cat fight for half an hour, but he doesn't have time for a quick kiss every now and then? Maybe not as often as Taemin and Minho, but once in a while would be nice. And I wasn't lying when I said that she said a nice body. Shall we play a little game then? If Key isn't going to get intimate with me, then I'm going to have to get intimate with her instead. (I thought you said he took your boyfriend relationship too seriously, Jonghyun? ^_^)

Sorry for the lamewaded chapter, I need to watch some more Shinee variety programs to get back on track XD. And chicken actually has the highest cholesterol out of all red meat (actually it's white meat) but anyway, it even has higher cholesterol than pork! Which is why I said fried cholesterol. And according the Body World, men's brains are bigger than women's, but 50% of it is nothing but testosterone. Which explains why Jonghyun's so naughty ^_^