POV: Baekho

I walk beside him in silence. There'll be time to talk later.

"Where are you taking me, Baek?"

"You'll see." I say with a grin, trying to appear calm. "Don't be impatient."

He shakes his head, a small smile on his face. The bruises on his face are starting to yellow. The scab on his forehead has dried and is nearly invisible underneath his blond bangs. He's so beautiful. And to think that I'd fallen in love with him before seeing him...

I hold out a hand and he grabs it, lacing together our fingers as we continue walking.

            POV: Ren

Could anyone tell me where the hell he's taking me? Why does he want us to be alone so far from the others? It couldn't be that...? No, impossible, Baekho is very slow with these sorts of things. Although, since we're alone maybe I could take advantage of it... What if I kissed him? Would he think we're going too fast? I don't suppose he's one of those people who wait until marriage, right?

But, of course, it hasn't even been a week since we've met. Maybe I'm the one going too quickly. But we're teenagers; it's normal, right? Besides, if we count the cards, we've known one another for a long time. It's justified.

            POV: Baekho

He walks behind me, and I turn around every now and then to see him, without being able to help but smile each time I see him...

He looks so small and fragile... but I've already seen that he's not. What's more, I think that – excluding Aron with the advantage of his ability – he's the strongest of our group. Which is still very surprising... We were all shocked the first time we saw him moving around boxes to clear a spot for our refuge like they weighed nothing. I guess it's the result of all his fights with the guards...

Minhyun, Aron, and Lime had been training with him this morning. He seemed to be excited by the idea. Meanwhile, JR had accompanied me in a search for more hidden hallways. We found three, none of which are near the children's room where we're thinking of going to first.

I'll keep looking. But not right now. Right now, I deserve a rest and I want to show Ren what I found.

I look back at him again. I stick out my tongue and he laughs with his eyebrows raised. How cute...

            POV: Ren

And now he's sticking his tongue out at me. I'm sure he's doing it to test my self control.

If he doesn't kiss me soon, I'm going to kiss him. I've been occupied these past few days, but I haven't been able to stop thinking of it in each minute of my free time. Of his lips.

Could that have something to do with how bad I've been doing with the batons? Because I'm thinking of him while we train?

No, I don't think so. I'm hopeless with the batons with or without Baekho close by. Aron and that have been very patient with me, yeah, but I don't think they've taken long to label me a lost case.

Me holding a baton is more dangerous than JR wanting a hug... Unlike them, who seem like they've fenced their whole lives. Although that woman has been trained for this, for fighting and winning but the others have simply caught on quickly. Everyone except for me, like always.

Luckily the druggie has had the great idea of trying out guns. Now that's cool. After my pitiful performance with the batons, I've surprised them all with my ability to shoot. And not just that, I can shoot and do it WELL. Better than the others (except Min, who is a total professional).

For the first time in a long time, I feel useful, like I can do something that the others can't, that I'm good at something and not just a burden. So while they decide to hit each other with the batons, Min and I practice on improvised targets. It's fun and all. If it weren't for the fact that we can't waste ammunition, I'd spend hours practicing.

When we return, I'll tell Min to show me how to shoot with two at the same time, one in each hand. It'll be so cool.

Speaking of returning, where are we? I don't think I've ever been in this part of the storehouse. Could I be told what's going on now? If he doesn't give me explanations soon, I'll start getting hopeful that he's not as slow as he seems and that he does want the same thing I do.

Or maybe he's a romantic... and I'm not one. The fact that we're holding hands and he's nervous doesn't mean anything. We're not like those repulsive lovey dovey couples. I wouldn't like to have a date in an amusement park nor walk around in couple clothing... nor for him to give me chocolates on Valentine's day...

            POV: Baekho

He's making such a cute face... What could he be thinking of?

"What are you thinking about?"

I lift the lantern to see him better. He whines and backs away, covering his eyes with his arm. To protect himself from the light? Or so I won't see that he's blushing?

I chuckle, again thinking of how handsome he is, and continue walking.

Upon waking up this morning, the first thing I saw was Ren sleeping, with his long eyelashes on his cheeks creating longer shadows under the dim light from the lantern, with his blond hair shining like silver, with his heart-shaped lips open slightly in relaxation. No trace of the scab on his forehead nor of his exhaustion or worry.

Since the others were already up, I woke him up carefully. He opened his eyes only halfway, smiled, and mumbled "it's been years since I've slept so well." And he hugged me for a long while, a very long while.

That simple gesture has given me the strength to face on the rest of the day.

After, while walking with JR in the storehouse, I realized that I should do something. Decide exactly what we are, what our relationship is. I haven't tried to lie to myself at any moment with 'just friends', but on the other hand... It's strange to think of anything more, even more so when I don't know his opinion on the matter. JR's advice has consisted of, simply, talking to him, and I think I've found the perfect way to do so.

            POV: JR

While I explored the storehouse with Baekho, we discussed our options. This hall or this hall, these stairs or those. Defense techniques, attacks, how to hide, how to avoid being found. Plans and more plans. Honestly, I'm worried about what could happen. One part of my mind won't rest, repeating to me over and over everything that could go wrong. No matter how many hours we spend on the details, we have no idea what will happen when we leave. But I can't say that out loud. We all know that there's no point in planning so much. When we're up there and we cross paths with the first group of guards, we'll have to fight because there's no other option. And no one knows what will happen in a fight.

Death is taboo. We can't discuss that possibility.

But if someone dies, they'll be left behind.

It's cruel but necessary. We'll all die if it's any other way. Once we leave our refuge, it'll be a constant battle. I suppose that's why we're still here, hiding. That's why no one has proposed the idea of leaving.

            POV: Aron

Scratch, scratch, scratch. Sharpening knives with a rock isn't the best of diversions, but I have to recognize that it goes very well with a bad mood.

Lime has told us that the knives we found the other day are old and not sharpened, that they wouldn't cut even a piece of paper, and that if we want to do something useful, we should sharpen them. She gave us sharpening rocks and she, JR, and I have taken the job upon ourselves.

Scratch, scratch, scratch. It really does relieve a lot of stress. Scratch, scratch, scratch.

"This... Aron... I think that knife is sharp enough. If you keep at it like that, you'll be left without a knife or rock..."

Shut up. I'm in a bad mood because of you. I send a burning glare JR's way and he stares at me dumbly, not understanding. Sure, pretend you don't know what this is about. Just what I need.

I look at the knife. Fine, he's right. I think this one has had enough. I sigh and grab another knife to continue sharpening.

The day started out strangely. Min woke me up when he got up all of a sudden since we were still holding one another. I opened my eyes heavily with the feeling that it was still very early, and found Min sitting beside me, trembling and gasping for breath. His expression didn't look too good.

"Min? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Yes... It was just... a nightmare..."

"It's okay, whatever it was, it isn't real, it's over... Come..."

I hugged him and pulled him down to my side again. Yes, I know the best thing to do would've been to try to talk to him and for him to have told me what it was about, but I was so sleepy that I wasn't able to do anything more. In seconds, I was asleep again.

When I woke up again, Min wasn't there anymore. I looked for him with my eyes and found him a bit away from the mattresses, sitting on the floor and whispering with JR. As usual. I couldn't hear what they were saying but they were laughing. And again that damn jealousy came to me. The same jealousy that made me stay there, pretending to sleep so I could see what they do while I'm not present.

They talked for a while and then Min grabbed one of the bags we brought with us to the storehouse. He dug through it, looking for something, and pulled out the melon. My melon. Our melon. He looked at it in surprise before saying, loud enough for me to hear, "Wow! A melon! I love melons!" I smiled; I knew he would like it.

But then JR grabbed it from his hands and cut it open with a knife. They cut it into pieces and started eating it. My melon. OUR melon, mine and Min's. We should've been the ones to eat it together. Why did he eat it with JR?

JR offered Min a piece and when he was about to bite into it, he moved it away and laughed to see my boy biting into thin air. Min, in revenge, scrubbed a piece over JR's cheek and then over his nose, leaving his face soaked in juice. They laughed at their jokes and games. Since it's been days since I grabbed it from the kitchen, the melon was very ripe and had a lot of juice, so the both of them were left completely covered in melon. And their laughter kept getting louder.

I have to add that Min, covered in melon, is the iest thing I've ever seen. I wanted to the juice off his face, and not just his face... But it bothered me that JR was the one he was showing himself to in this state, that someone besides me could see him like that, that he played around with him in such a... sensual way.

And then JR had a piece of melon on his lip. Min wiped it off slowly, touching his lips with his fingers, and then moved his hand to his own mouth to eat the piece of melon and them way too ily. Why, Min? Why are you doing this with him? Is it true then that you don't want anything with me because of JR? Yesterday you told me you love me, but... do you love him more?

They finished eating the melon and continued chatting happily after cleaning themselves up a bit. And I didn't dare to get up; I couldn't confront them. Again that doubt, that fear. Fear that he no longer wants me.

I didn't get up until I saw Lime up and that Baekho was starting to move around. With the morning training, I tried to distract myself but the doubts wouldn't stop assaulting my mind. Jealousy is eating me from within. I can't stand it.

            POV: JR

I don't know if sharpening knives is very useful, but it's a good way to vent. While I move this rough rock against the metal, the doubts from the past few days return to my mind. Like I told Minhyun, I think my brain is trying to make up for lost time and now I'm thinking too much.

Basically, I've spent all day thinking over the same thing.

According to the principle of usefulness of the English philosopher Jhon Stuart Mill, an action is good when it promotes the happiness of the most people.

And I can't stop thinking of it. Is what we're doing a good action?

If I look back, as an objective, I know that it's not. The happiness of us five, if the five of us manage to get out of here alive, against the happiness of all the guards we've killed and of the ones we still have to face. It's not equal.

Baekho says that it's possible that what we're doing isn't honestly "good", it's possible that our lives aren't worth all the ones we've ended, but he says that he'll continue to be a little selfish and prefers to look for his own happiness before that of his executioners. That he won't rest until he sees to it that Ren is free. Very praiseworthy, and I want to protect them as well, but I can't not consider everyone else.

According to Ren, in his own words, "those monsters don't deserve you to consider their happiness. We have to escape from here and take care of as many as we can on the way." And the worst thing is that he seems plenty convinced with that.

I can only guess of Aron's opinion, because as soon as I approach him to ask he starts to crack his knuckles in anything but a friendly way.

I'm interested in Lime's opinion since it should be an interesting and different perspective, but I honestly don't know how to bring it up.

But Minhyun's words are, without a doubt, the ones that have convinced me the most. And I hadn't even had to ask myself. He saw my lost gaze this morning and knows me well enough so he sat beside me to ask what new mental battle I was fighting.

I would've laughed if my thoughts weren't so dark.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked.

I didn't know how to ask, wondered if should say anything, but in the end I asked because I was interested in his opinion.

"... I was thinking that... maybe we should surrender." His eyes went wide in shock, and I tried to explain myself. "It's just that... I feel selfish for trying to escape like this, that we're wrong..."

"But why would...?" He laughed, nervously, and I cut him off to explain myself better.

"Mill's principle of usefulness says that an action is good when it promotes the happiness of the most people. We're five people that, in theory, will be happy if we manage to escape. How many guards have we killed? How many people have we made 'unhappy'? Does our happiness compensate for that?"

I left the questions up in the air, not really expecting a concrete answer.

"You're going to condemn yourself because of something a philosopher said centuries ago on the other side of the world?"

"I agree with his ideas. The happiness of many outweighs the happiness – or even the life – of a few."

He stayed quiet for a moment or two, thinking, like he always does, and then he asked me if I was hungry and went to dig through one of the bags. He found a melon, which the both of us cut up while we continued pondering.

At last he answered between bites and with the juice of the fruit – which was much too ripe – falling on the edge of his lips. He argued that our escape doesn't just make us happy.

"Maybe it's not our case, but they have families. Families that will be happy if they return." Don't the guards we've killed have families? "Lime says that there are guards on our side, and I doubt that everyone working here is 'happy' with their work. They'll be happy if we escape."

I remember Nara, who helped us when Ren was captured, and Lime, who is helping us now. Alice, who cared for me during my stay here, who appeared to truly worry for me. And how I repaid her...

Maybe. Maybe them, and more guards, are on our side. And I keep asking myself... Is that compensation enough?

If I think back on just myself, my own happiness is up against the life of the three guards I've killed. It doesn't compensate.

And, again, his answer gave me a lot to think about.

"You can't count only your own happiness now, Jonghyun. Your life also makes for the happiness of, at least, four people. We'd be unhappy if you die."

But I still wasn't convinced.

"It's fine." He said in the end. "If I don't convince you with my own reasons, we'll continue with philosophy..."

Philosophy. It's what has brought us so close together from when we discovered the ideas we share. It's something strange for someone of my age, but I've always liked it. My mother read me the works of classic philosophers and would ask for my own thoughts on them, although I always liked modern philosophy more. Ethics, moral...

My mother... I miss her... it hurts to know I won't see her ever again...

But, precisely because it's something strange, it surprised me that Minhyun knew what I was talking about in our chats when I started quoting old scholars.

"My father obligated me to study politics from when I was little." He said when I asked him about it. "The philosophy part was the best. It was difficult and I hated it, but well, I picked up a few things and now I value it."

"You have interesting ideas."

"I've had a lot of time to think here." He added, smiling sadly.

Again, I think back to the reflections of this morning, when we argued over our escape. After a good while of replying to my theories with his ideas, he answered with a quote of another philosopher.

"According to Locke, in the moment that someone deprives you of your rights, life or liberty, they lose their humanity. So maybe their unhappiness doesn't weigh as much as yours."

But that didn't convince me either.

"But that's revenge and I don't like it."

"No, it's not. Fight to take back a right stolen from you. And one taken in an unjustified way. That's not revenge, it's justice."

"And is it also justice to kill someone to reach your goals?"

He sighed and looked me directly in the eyes to answer.

"JR, you're trying to be a hero in a situation you can't get out of untainted. Sometimes things aren't limited to being good or being bad. Sometimes the situation calls for drastic measures and, right now, the only options are to kill or die, because I doubt they'll move out of the way and lets us go with pretty words."

"Maybe I prefer to die over killing."

He looked sad, reproachful, like he blamed me for not wanting to keep fighting.

"I'm sorry, but I don't see how I could keep living knowing that people have died because of me. From the moment I first stopped being sane, that much has been proven..."

He didn't insist more on that point. We continued talking, and soon enough I realized what I was missing, what didn't convince me.

I don't blame the guards.

They weren't the ones to cage me here. I can't blame them for my being trapped. They just accept it, just like we did. They keep us here because it's their function, because someone has ordered them to. Not voluntarily.

"Who do you blame then?" Minhyun asked.

And for a moment I was back in my home. Gunshots. Running down that stairs, the lights still off. My father on the floor. Blood. My mother screaming. Another gunshot. More blood. Someone dragging me. My mother's arms reaching for me. More blood. Darkness. One face.

"The one who killed my parents." My voice is barely a murmur. "A man in a suit."

Minhyun smiled sadly, continuing my description.

"With a beard and gray eyes."

I nodded.

"Eyes of steel."

He told me that he also remembered him, that that man was the one who bought him, that that man is the one who went looking for us one by one, all of us. And we decided that we hate him. Him and whoever is the one running this, giving the orders to restrain us here. They're to blame. And I decide for myself that they deserve to die, but no one else.

"Not even to defend yourself?" I shook my head, convinced that he wouldn't convince me. "Not even to defend us?" I looked up at him, and he stared right back. "You say that your happiness isn't worth it. Do you think our happiness is?"

I looked away to take a glance of our companions, sleeping on the mattresses.

Ren and Baekho, the both of whom are prepared to give everything for the other, who refuse to take a step back, who are each other's strength. We have them to thank for us being here. Aron, who, although he seems to hate me, is important to Minhyun and is therefore important to me as well. And Minhyun, who has become my best friend, the only one who understands, who in some way fills the void left behind by the death of my parents.

Yes, they're worth killing for.

            POV: Aron

While I sharpen my knife, I turn to look at Min. He's lying on a mattress. He hasn't come to help us because he says his head hurts. His gaze is empty, lost on some point in the darkness, and he really doesn't look too good. He seems distracted by his own thoughts.

I'm worried. It's true that I'm a bit hurt with him. Well, not hurt. Confused... or maybe disillusioned... I don't know, it simply hurts me that he pays more attention to JR than to me. But it hurts even more to see him sad, or to see that he's not doing well. And right now his face is making me sad...

"This... Would you guys mind if I talked to Min for a moment?"

"Of course not. Go ahead. He'll appreciate your company if he's feeling bad."

JR smiles. No matter how sincere your smile seems, I know you're lying. Don't pretend that my relationship with Min matters to you. Don't pretend you're not trying to take him from me. Damn hypocrite. Stop acting like you don't understand why I'm glaring at you again.

But I don't feel like arguing, so I nod, force a smile and go to Min.

"Hi." I say as I sit beside him.

"Hi." Seeing me seems to have woken him from his daydreaming. He sits up and gives me a wide smile. He looks happy to have me at his side. It makes me happy.

"Min... are you okay? You don't look too good. I'm worried."

He smiles again, glad that I'm worried for him. But then his precious smile becomes a face of sadness.

"Aron... I... I'm scared..."

He timidly grabs my arm, like he's trying to look for my protection. And I don't hesitate in pulling him closer, surrounding him with my arms and pressing him tightly against my chest. His body trembles slightly.

"Don't be scared, I'm here with you. It's normal that you're scared of what's waiting for us, but I won't let them hurt you. I'll protect you, I promise, and the others will do the same. We'll all get out of here together, you'll see."

"No..." He pulls away from my hold enough to find my eyes. His are filling with tears. "I'm not scared of what could happen to us in here. I'm scared of leaving..."

What? I wasn't expecting that answer. How am I supposed to interpret that?

            POV: Minhyun

That dream, that nightmare is on replay in my mind again and again. Now I understand why Ren couldn't fall asleep because of a nightmare. It's not because of the dream itself, but because of the fears it represents, fears that were hidden in my heart and that I tried not to think about. Now, not thinking of them is impossible...

In the dream, I was in my cell. I wanted to move but my body wouldn't respond. Guards and tourists passed around me. And even though I was surrounded by people I felt very alone. They looked at me but it was like they didn't see me. They fixed their empty eyes on me and their cold gazes pierced through me.

Gradually, the walls of my cage disappeared, converting it into a fog. I finally found myself out of this place. The guards and tourists no longer passed by, they continued their paths and went far, far away... In their place, other people moved around me. Anonymous people of the streets. Simple strangers. They didn't even look at me, they just walked by, ignoring me. I tried to talk to them but my body still wouldn't move.

And then I saw my father. He stood far away but I recognized him. Beside him were my mother and siblings, but only he looked at me. He took his hand out of the pocket of his American with a stack of money. He looked at it, then looked at me, and again to the stack. He smiled. He turned his back on me and they all left, moving away from me. I wanted to scream, beg them not to leave me, but my voice wouldn't come.

A while after, Aron appeared. He hugged me from behind and placed a kiss on my cheek. I felt happy at his side... but my lips couldn't form an 'I love you' and my arms couldn't move to grab him and keep him at my side. And he left, smiling, waving goodbye. I couldn't stop him. And again I was left lost in a crowd of unknown people that didn't see me. But eventually they stopped passing around me and I was left alone. Finally, I could move my body. But there was no one there. I ran, from one side to another, for a long time, but I couldn't find anyone. I was alone. I could finally move but I was alone. In the end, I reached a very high bridge. I felt sad, too alone. And I jumped, because I didn't have anywhere to go, I didn't have anything or anyone. I preferred to die.

And then I woke up. I couldn't fall asleep again. I couldn't find comfort even in Aron's cozy arms. I got up when I saw JR had, and I haven't been able to stop thinking of the same thing all day. I talked with JR, and then we trained. That distracted me a bit. But now that I've been left alone with my thoughts, this idea won't stop tormenting me. What will happen to me when we get out of here? I have nothing, no one, no place to go back to. Will I live on the streets like a beggar? What will I do if I'm left alone?

Aron has been left dumbstruck by my answer. Before he can say anything, I tell him. Everything. The dream, that my parents sold me – now that I remember, he wasn't there the day I told the guys...

And I tell him of my fear of being left alone.

Aron listens to me, astonished by my explanations, and comforts me with his gestures and words. It's amazing. I think his mere presence is enough to make me feel better. He tells me I'll never be alone because he'll always be at my side. If only I could believe him.

I feel bad for being so distant with him lately. I think I've made him dizzy because of it and he doesn't deserve that. But what else could I do? I love him with everything I have. He's the only person I want to be with. And, because of that, I can't let anything happen between us. Because I love him too much and I don't want to lose him for anything in the world.

            POV: JR

I stop what I'm doing and look at the couple, Minhyun and Aron, holding one another on the mattresses. I smile. They look good together... If only they'd stop with their foolishness.

I understand Minhyun's motives, but I've already told him that it's not worth it to think about it so much, that it's contradictory with what he wants, and that the only thing he'll accomplish is making Aron dizzy. If he talked with him and made things clear...

"Aren't you going to do something?"

I turn to Lime, surprised.

"Do what?"

"Well..." She responds nervously. "Minhyun and you... I don't know, doesn't it make you jealous to see them together?"

"Jealous?" I laugh. "No, not at all. Min is just my friend, I'm happy for him." I smile, give them one last glance and resume my duty.

This is starting to make me weary...

            POV: Aron

I didn't know about Minhyun's past. It saddens me to know that his parents sold him and that when we escape he'll have nowhere to go. Actually... it's been days since I've wanted to propose something, but with his change in attitude with me and with JR in the middle, I haven't had the guts to do it. I can't suggest something like this if I'm not sure he loves me... but right now he's being very affectionate with me. He seems like the usual Min. I think I should try it.

"Hey, Min... When we get out of here, I'd like you to come live with me, what do you say?"

            POV: Minhyun

It gives me a lot of hope to hear that. I'd love to live with him. But I don't want it to be this way. Ren also told me I could stay in his house if I didn't have anywhere to go. Of course, what else would they say? But I don't want anyone to take me in from pity. I don't want to live invited in a house of someone else because they pity me for not having anywhere to go.

"Aron, it's better that I don't. I don't want you and your family to take me into your home like some kind of abandoned dog, just because you pity me."

"What? I'm not suggesting it because I pity you, and I never said anything about living with my family."

"Huh?"

"I'm asking that we live together. You and I alone, like a couple, simply because we love each other. We could even get married; it's legal in my country."

Huh?! MARRIED?! What does he mean we could get married?! And he says it so easily! How the hell are we going to get married?! Has he gone insane?!

"NO! No, no, no, what are you saying?! NO!"

His expression changes all of a sudden. , I've messed up.

            POV: Aron

I didn't expect such a strong refusal. Maybe at most a small no. I see I've been too rash. I shouldn't have asked. I'm stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. It's clear that something's missing between us. It must be true that he doesn't love me the same way I love him.

Tears spring to my eyes. No, I'm not going to cry. Not in front of him.

I force the most believable smile I can and let out a hysteric laugh.

"It was a joke, a joke. Don't think too much of it." No, it wasn't a joke and you know it as well as I do. "Sorry, I think I'll go take a walk."

I stand, avoiding his gaze, and walk off without giving him a chance to reply. Because I can't take this anymore.

"Aron! Aron, wait-..." Is the last thing I hear from behind me, followed by a sob.

I need to get away from here. I want to be alone. This has been much too harsh of a blow. Why, Min, why? If only I had a way of knowing what you're thinking. If only I knew what you're feeling. If only I knew what has changed between us.

            POV: Ren

"Baekho, I'm serious now. Where are we going?"

No, I'm not patient. Either we arrive to wherever it is he's taking me or I push him up against the first wall I find.

He looks at me and smiles. Ah, that smile... it's almost like this large dark room is now a bit brighter.

"We're nearly there, Rennie. You'll see it soon enough. Just wait five more minutes, okay?"

"Fine..."

He tightens his hold on my hand and picks up the pace without letting go for even a second. I'm lucky that he's not looking at me because, between my hormones and all of this fluffy couple stuff, I'm blushing harder than I thought possible.

And, finally, after many circles, he stops. The place doesn't seem very special at first glance, but there's a small detail that makes it special.

A skylight. It's so small and badly placed that it barely lights the room and I hadn't seen it until now. But I can see the sky.

"So it's daytime..."

I'm left fascinated and speechless. After years of not seeing sunlight, it makes me aware of many things. The magnitude of my captivity, how close yet how far we are from freedom, how beautiful the sky is, the clouds... things that you don't appreciate enough until they're taken away.

            POV: Baekho

"I wanted to show it to you." I speak quietly. I almost don't dare to break the silence, as if I'm trying to 'sense' the outside with my ears too. "I promised you that we'd see the sun together one day. There's no sun today, but we're a bit closer, don't you think?"

He nods silently, emotional. Speechless, just like I was when I found it this morning. I had to show it o him. But it's not just that.

"And... I wanted to tell you something." Slowly, he moves his gaze from the small window and looks at me, and I look away, self-conscious.

            POV: Ren

He bites his lip so sensually while he stares intently at the floor. I've never seen him so nervous. But, at last, he starts to talk with his gaze lowered.

"It may seem a bit rushed because... well, we've only known one another in person for a week but... I think I..." How cute. All this just to confess? He always manages to make me feel like a schoolgirl... "I think we've become very close. We already were with the cards but..." Why does he tangle himself up so much just to say something simple? Close? Seriously? "Now I feel like I don't want to lose you, that I want to protect you, even more, that I wouldn't be able to take it if something happened to you. And I want to get you out of here, make you happy and..."

Why does he bite his lip each time he pauses? , it's really y. Why doesn't he stop talking and kiss me?

"Although I'm not all too sure what this means, I know that I wouldn't be able to survive if I lose you and... You're important to me, Ren, very much so. Even more than what's normal between two men..." He laughs nervously and scratches his head. So cute... But why does he talk so much? Baek, darling, either get to the point or I'll attack you in kisses to quiet you. "Then again, seeing Minhyun and Aron makes me doubt that it's so strange... It's something I never thought of before entering here, before meeting you. Although, of course, I never thought of lots of things before that."

Is he never going to stop talking? Baek, shut up at once. Why won't you stop talking and kiss me? Come on, make out with me. Come, please, you keep turning over the same thing. Can't you see that I'm dying to kiss you? Do you not ing see it? Okay, I'm tiring, if you won't do it, I will. Do you hear me? I want to make out with you. Don't you get it? And I'm going to do it. Come on, shut up. I can't last much longer. Be quiet and kiss me.

"I suppose I was very young, and I don't know what would've happened if we met outside of this place. I have no way of knowing. I just know that when I 'saw' you here, well, 'sensed', whatever. I fell in love with you from the first moment... Alright, I've finally said it. I didn't have the guts to, because it was difficult to realize, and even more so to accept it. And, of course, I didn't know how you felt either..."

            POV: Baekho

I barely have time to look up when I see him jump towards me, close his eyes and press his lips over mine.

My heart goes wild, racing. I can't believe it... So easily... I close my eyes and concentrate on feeling. On his soft touch, his hands behind my neck, his thin waist in my arms...

It lasts only a few seconds. He pulls away and we look each other in the eyes. He blushes and hides his face against my neck. I hug him and smile, so wide that my cheeks hurt, I can't help it.

"Wow... I didn't think that... Aish! Rennie... I..." He covers my mouth with his fingers, pulls away and again and laughs.

"Do you always talk so much when you're nervous?"

"I think so..."

I hear him laugh, and I laugh too. I hear him mumble "how cute..." and he kisses me again. I think my heart is about to explode from my chest.

We separate and he looks me in the eyes again, terribly flushed (just like I am) but determined not to hide, and I keep his gaze, the both of us holding back our laughter.

"Well then..." he starts, "I want to hear what you were going to tell me." Huh? "Without circles nor speaking for a half hour. I want to hear you say it..."

I thought I couldn't blush any harder but now I see that I was wrong... Let's go, Baekho, it's just three words. It shouldn't be this difficult... But he's looking at me, intently, with those precious eyes he has, smiling a bit, waiting...

I look down at the floor, take a deep breath and look back into his eyes.

"I love you..."

It's barely a murmur, but it lights up his face with the widest grin I've see him have. He leans in and kisses me again, and when he tries to pull away, I hug him and don't let him, searching for his lips. So sweet, so soft.

"No matter what happens." I say against his lips. "Here, now, I'm happy to be with you."

He smiles even more. He hugs me tightly and gives me another short kiss.

"Baek..." He whispers, "I love you..." My heart swells, beating erratically, and thousands of butterflies flutter in my stomach. "Thank you for loving me, for giving me the strength to keep fighting."

I touch his face with my hands, brushing his hair from his forehead, his cheek with my fingers. His lips, his neck...

"Thank you, for giving me a reason to keep living."

And we stay there, holding one another, kissing again and again. Just barely a brush of lips, but unwilling to separate.