C h a p t e r  3 3

Part 1

It was during the weeks after the trial had ended that it dawned on Donghae how much his life was changing. With the knowledge that Sunghoon and the others were in prison, there was this huge load of tension and anxiety falling off his shoulders that had affected him for so long. He himself couldn’t express how it felt, but if he had to describe it he would say that it just felt good. Smiling, laughing, being happy – it all was so much easier to do suddenly. It wasn’t like it had been before they had been sent to the army, no it wasn’t. But maybe he was slowly getting there, maybe in a few years or so all of this would just be a memory somewhere in the back of his head that wouldn’t affect him anymore. And honestly, Donghae couldn’t wait to get to that point in his life.

"Do you know which members are home right now?" he asked as he left the hospital on a hot day in August.

After he had stopped taking methadone some weeks ago, this had been the last appointment with Dr. Yoon; he had been talking with him about how it felt like living without it. And because there hadn't been any problems or withdrawal symptoms so far, Dr. Yoon had officially announced to him that the methadone program was over and that Donghae was allowed to call himself clean now. He still went to the hospital now and then to talk with Mrs. Jung, but by then he only visited her once a month because his condition had gotten so much better in the meantime. He most likely would stop seeing her completely soon.

Jihoon, one of their new managers walking beside him, smiled mischievously and if Donghae wouldn’t have been too distracted with lowering his head so people wouldn’t recognize him, he would've seen it.

"I think they're all home today", he answered and with that made the brunet look up a bit.

"They are? Aren’t there any schedules today?"

"No, I don’t think so. And as far as I know there won't be any schedules for the next days."

Donghae furrowed his brows. "But Kyuhyun told me yesterday that he would be so busy starting from today that he wouldn’t be home at all."

"He's right. And in fact all of you will be really busy during the next days." He let out a laugh and confused Donghae even more. The brunet opened his mouth to ask another question, but Jihoon soon interrupted him. "Look who's there", he said and stopped walking to point towards one of the cars standing in the parking area.

Leaning against his Audi with crossed legs and wearing sunglasses, there was Eunhyuk. The raven head smiled at him and Donghae was so flustered for a moment that it needed some pats on his shoulder and a gentle push to make him move again. Jihoon bid him goodbye, saying that he had to go back to the SM building even though he had said before that he would have the afternoon off.

"Hey", Eunhyuk greeted and took off his glasses as soon as the brunet was close enough. Donghae stared at him, a mixture of surprise and confusion in his eyes.

"Why are you here?" he asked. "I thought you wanted to go to the gym with Siwon."

"Changed my plans", Eunhyuk grinned. "I thought it would be a better idea to come and pick you up."

"That's nice, but… there's no need. Jihoon-hyung would've brought me home if he… Well, if he didn’t-"

"Let's go home, shall we?" Eunhyuk asked, the grin never leaving his lips. Donghae narrowed his eyes for a moment before he eventually nodded his head and entered the car. He couldn’t get over the thought that this all just seemed so odd.

Meanwhile Eunhyuk couldn’t make the grin leave his face as they drove, even started to hum and sing along the radio like he was the happiest person in the world. Donghae beside him more and more felt like he had forgotten something or to say it better the reason why the other was so filled with joy. And that kind of made him feel bad.

"Hyukkie?"

"Hm?"

"Did I… forget something?" he asked cautiously after some time. Eunhyuk thought about his question for a moment and then shrugged his shoulders.

"Possible", he grinned, his eyes never leaving the streets.

"Was it something important?"

"Yup, I would say so."

Donghae's stomach dropped. What day was it again…? "Don’t tell me I missed our anniversary", he breathed out. Eunhyuk laughed out loud.

"Nope, guess again."

Were there any birthdays he could've missed? No, there weren’t any. Some other special dates? He didn’t know. This was getting weirder by the minute. "I'm really sorry, but I have no idea what's happening."

"Let me give you a hint: It's something I promised you some time ago."

"Promised me…?" Eunhyuk nodded and grinned wider if that was even possible. Donghae furrowed his brows in pure confusion, just to drop his mouth open a moment later when he noticed something else as his eyes darted around. "This isn’t the way home", he said, looking at the streets. "Where are we going?"

Eunhyuk leaned back a bit and sent him a short glance. "It's a surprise so I won't tell. But don’t worry: you'll understand what's going on once we're there."

Donghae bit his lip and his gaze fell to the floor. Seeing Eunhyuk so happy about something he had forgotten made him feel even worse. "I'm so sorry. If it's really that important, I just… I feel bad because-"

"You're doing it again", Eunhyuk interrupted him, his smile faltering a bit.

"Doing what?"

"Apologizing", the raven head said. "You do this way too often, Donghae. Let me tell you, you don’t have to feel bad that you forgot it, okay? It's fine. I knew you wouldn’t remember it right away and I'm even glad about that. This way I can surprise you and you know how much I love to do that."

The brunet lowered his head a bit and nodded with a soft hum; he decided to look out of the window until that moment would come Eunhyuk had been talking about and he knew where this ride was leading to.  
It was true; he really apologized too often. But that was what he had been taught to do. When he had apologized for the things he had done – even when there was no need for it – or simply for being born, they had been nicer to him. That was what he thought, at least. He was still in the middle of the process of understanding that there was no need to stick to the rules they had built up some time ago. To stop apologizing for everything was one of the many things he yet had to learn weren’t necessary anymore.

They kept driving for some time and Donghae felt himself slowly dozing off while still watching the houses and trees flying by. He closed his eyes for a bit, wanted to relax just a little, but when he opened them again, he immediately sat upright in his seat.

Water. All he could see was water. He looked to the left, past Eunhyuk and saw th