C h a p t e r  2 8

12:22 a.m.

Donghae's eyes were glued to the clock hanging on the living room wall and he couldn’t tear them away from it for at least an hour now. Eunhyuk had left more than two hours ago and since then he hadn't heard a word from him. Two hours in which he was somewhere on his own, without knowing that Sunghoon was somewhere out there too. Two hours; enough time to let so many bad things happen to him. Two hours – and no one except for Donghae seemed to care.

"Heechul-hyung, he's doing it again."

He felt a soft hand on his wrist and his arm was pulled down; someone held his trembling fingers in his own. Was that blood that he tasted on his tongue?

"Donghae, please stop biting your fingers. You'll make them bleed again."

12:23 a.m.

If something happened – would they even know about it? What if it already had happened? What if Eunhyuk needed his help? What if it was too late to help?

"I said please stop."

Donghae hadn't noticed that he was now biting the fingers of his other hand as his arm was pulled down again. Both of his hands were held by someone, but his eyes were still glued to the clock. Something soft was wrapped around his hands and he thought they stung a bit, but he couldn’t explain why.

"Where's Hyukkie now?"

This question rolled off Donghae's tongue like he had asked it many times already, yet he couldn’t remember getting an answer. Someone sighed.

"He's at his parents' house, Donghae. Siwon brought him there and he already explained that to you after returning to the dorm. His parents are with Hyukjae now, you don’t have to worry."

12:24 a.m.

"What is he doing there?"

The clock's silent ticking was so loud in his head, louder than his own voice at least. Time seemed to past so slowly… What had the other said where Eunhyuk was again?

"You heard what Hyukjae said. He just wants some time to think and he went to his parents because he… well, because he wants to be alone."

"Why isn’t he coming home?"

"He left our dorm two hours ago, Donghae. Just give him the time he needs, he'll come back soon. And please stop asking the same questions over and over again."

12:25 a.m.

"Why isn’t he answering his phone?"

The grip around his hands tightened slightly and he thought he felt thumbs brushing over his skin. "Because he's sick, Donghae. He's running a fever and I bet he's in bed now, sleeping. Just let him relax a bit, he deserves that. I'm sure there's no need to worry-"

"How can you be sure?"

There was a brief moment of silence. "Because Jungsoo called Hyukjae's mother an hour ago and she said-"

"Can you call her again?"

"… It's too late for that. Can't you just wait until the morning comes? I don’t think that his condition has changed that much."

It took Donghae a whole load of effort to finally tear his eyes away from the clock and to look at Heechul. He was only able to let their gazes met for a couple of seconds before he looked down to their hands. There were some paper towels lying on the couch close to them. Some of them had small bloodstains on them and Donghae wondered for a moment who had been the one bleeding.

"Please call her again", he whispered and within seconds he was close to tears. "Please… Please call her again."

Heechul bit his lip. He thought about how Donghae had spent the past two hours in a mixture of tears, nervousness and pleadings to let him out of the dorm. The younger's body was shaking like crazy and the hands in his hold so cold that it seemed like Donghae had spent the whole day outside in the snow. He couldn’t remember seeing him this tense and just so… worried.

This was by far not the first fight of Eunhyuk and Donghae Heechul had witnessed and he also knew how they acted when one of them was sick or they were thousands of miles apart. Sure, they both suffered a lot in times like those, but it had never been like this. Donghae was almost going crazy over Eunhyuk running a fever while being at his parents' house, but he acted like there was something much bigger behind all of this. And this was odd. Really, really odd.

"Why do you worry so much, Donghae?" he eventually asked, a bit hesitant. "It's just a fever, right?"

Now Donghae was the one who started biting his lip, gaze still lowered. Heechul waited for a moment, expected an answer only to hear the brunet's plea to call Eunhyuk's parents again. He opened his mouth to tell him once again that he should wait a bit more, but stopped as soon as a phone appeared in his field of view.

"Just do him this favor, hyung", Yesung said and answered the other's questioning gaze with a quick nod. Heechul heaved a sigh and grabbed the phone, still confused and troubled.

***

Eunhyuk tossed his head to the side, frowning and pain written all over his face. His shallow panting was the only sound that filled the room as his shaking fingers tightly fisted the sheets. He kept his eyes clenched shut and was slipping in and out of consciousness, skin glistening with sweat.

"…Cold…"

It was just a faint whisper, but it was loud enough to make the woman sitting on the edge of his bed react. Mrs. Lee carefully tugged her son's shaking body in and had to loosen the tight grip of his hands on the sheets. A low moan left his throat as clammy and warm hands held on to hers.

"Ssssh… It's alright. You'll feel warmer now", she said with a hushed voice. Slowly, she reached her hand out to brush the damp hair out of his face. Eunhyuk's forehead felt hot, burned like fire under her fingertips and made her wonder how he was even able to feel cold.

Eunhyuk coughed slightly and his head lolled to the other side; his mother saw his eyes moving under closed lids. "…hae… D-Dong…hae…"

A sad smile flashed over her face. Siwon had told her about their fight, but not what it had been about. She hadn't asked because she thought that it was none of her business and because she hadn't been able to – Eunhyuk had collapsed right after she had opened the door.

"…hae…"

Mrs. Lee quickly brought her hand to her son's face to carefully his cheek. "Donghae's alright, Hyukjae. He's at the dorm with the other members."

She didn’t know if her words were true or if her voice had reached him, but at least Eunhyuk stopped calling for the brunet. Pulling her hand back, she let out a sigh and was about to fix her son's pillow as the sound of the phone ringing made her stop.

With a short glance towards her wristwatch she stood up and made her way to the living room, where she answered the phone. A small smile tugged on her lips as she recognized the voice at the other end.

"Heechul. It's nice to hear you."

While listening to the man's quiet voice, she shared a small smile with Sora as she walked past her, a bowl filled with water in her hands. It disappeared however as soon as her daughter was out of sight.

"He isn’t feeling better yet", she said to answer Heechul's question. "The fever's a bit higher now, but we already called the doctor. He promised to be here in the morning."

She slowly walked back to her son's room and stopped outside of it. Sora was now sitting on the edge of the bed and was busy with dampening a cloth. Mrs. Lee frowned slightly as she heard Heechul's words.

"Please tell him not to worry. Hyukjae's going to be fine soon."

Sora now started dabbing Eunhyuk's skin carefully and immediately made him groan. She tried hushing him, but her brother tossed his head to the other side in an attempt to make her stop. "Yah, pabo", she whispered and carefully continued dabbing the skin on his face and neck while still hushing him now and then.

"I understand… I'll call you as soon as I know more or if his conditions changes. But please tell him not to worry so much." Mrs. Lee sighed. "Hyukjae would hate to hear that."

***

"He's okay, Donghae", Heechul said as soon as he had ended the call. "Well, not really okay, but-"

"Can we bring him back to the dorm?" Donghae asked, staring at the clock again. Heechul shook his head.

"That wouldn’t be a good idea. You should respect his decision; he doesn’t want to see you for some time. I'm sure that this doesn’t mean that it's over or… or that he hates you or something like that. He just wants to have some space between the both of you and you know that's only for the best."

Donghae's gaze dropped to the floor and it took Heechul only a second to notice how tense the other's body became. "Can I visit him?" he whispered.

Heechul shook his head once more before answering with a gentle voice. "No, you can't. And the reason for that is still the same, Donghae. Please just try to accept his decision."

A first tear ran down the brunet's cheek and as Heechul let go one of Donghae's hands to brush it away, the younger immediately brought his hand up to his mouth again, biting his skin.

"But he has to be here", he mumbled against his skin, kind of apathetic and like he was in his own world. "He has to be with me…"

"Why?" Heechul asked hesitantly, sending Yesung another short glance who kept watching them. Donghae's answer was very quiet, but they both managed to hear it.

"He isn’t safe there."

Yesung's eyes narrowed while Heechul seemed kind of overwhelmed. "Why do you think that? Why shouldn’t he be safe at home?"

This time Donghae didn’t answer. He kept biting his fingers, harsher and only stopped as Heechul once again pulled them away.    
Seeing the brunet staring into space while his body seemed to be under so much stress, it reminded Yesung of the time Donghae had spent in the hospital. It was like he was there again, like someone had turned the time back in his head and all the hours of therapy had been completely useless. And it really seemed that way; Donghae didn’t react to anything that wasn’t related to Eunhyuk, had stopped calling for him maybe half an hour ago. The more he thought about it, the more this didn’t seem like he wanted Eunhyuk to stay because he was afraid the raven head could leave him. In fact, Donghae had never said that he wanted him to stay; he had always said that he had to. And now saying that he wasn’t safe at home… it was like he tried to tell them something, something he could only give them hints about – and they had to combine them. It sounded like a desperate