C h a p t e r  1

With slightly trembling hands Eunhyuk straightened out his uniform and fixed the cap on his head. After taking a long and deep breath, he sat down on one of the chairs close to the wall next to him, just to stand up seconds later to aimlessly wander around the corridor.

He swore he had never been more nervous; not before concerts, interviews or even debuting. This was past comparison. But who would hold it against him?

His military service would end in a few minutes and soon he would be leaving the base, would step outside and be welcomed by a mob of journalists and the other members. Fans would be there too; that was what he hoped for at least. With them around the uneasiness would be gone in a heartbeat because he always felt a lot more comfortable then; they always managed to loosen the heavy atmosphere with their presence. And a pleasant atmosphere was something he really wished for in that moment.

He was sure that a lot of things had happened in the past two years, many things that he didn’t know about yet. Eunhyuk hadn’t appeared in public during all this time; there most likely hadn't been any pictures of him or information about him leaking outside. So no one knew much about how he had spent the past two years and he didn’t know much about what had happened 'outside'.
Once in a few months he had been allowed to call the other members and those calls had always been short and meaningless. He was quite certain that there had always been someone standing beside them so they wouldn't talk about the wrong things. That also meant that they had never mentioned Donghae – and that was also the reason why he had never asked about him.

Eunhyuk's heart started racing.

Donghae… How was he? Had he been able to stand it? Eunhyuk knew all too well that the other couldn’t stand being alone and that he always had a hard time with getting used to new situations. Was he missing him? How would he react when they would see each other again? His mind was filled with questions and they increased his nervousness to no end. He had no clue how he was supposed to react when Donghae would be standing right in front of him, if there even was a chance to stop himself from throwing his arms around the younger's neck.

Fear was joining his nervousness suddenly.          
What if he rejected him? He shook his head. No, Donghae wouldn’t do that. There was the possibility that he could do it, but that would be only because of the journalists, so they wouldn’t get suspicious. At the dorms he would show his true colors – if they would let him.

Piercing screams echoed through the open window and made him look up. A smirk appeared on his lips as he managed to understand some of the words that were screamed by high-pitched voices. The other members had arrived to welcome him.

Oh, how much he had missed them. He wondered how they would look like, if they had changed much or if everything would be the same. Would they react the way he was expecting them to do? Again worries crept up inside of him, but he forced himself to ignore them. Everything would be okay; he just had to believe it. But on the other hand… weren’t those the words he had told Donghae back then?

"We're ready", a voice sounded behind him and he immediately turned around. A slightly older man was standing at the door, his head nodding outside and telling him to go. Eunhyuk didn’t know him but he guessed that he was one of S.M.'s staff members.

"Yes", he quickly said, but hesitated for a brief moment before he swung into action. With uncertain steps he approached the door which was held open by the man and stepped outside. The sun was blinding him and so he pulled his cap deeper into his face while he walked with wobbly knees to where the screams where coming from.

He turned the corner and slowed down his steps until he was standing still. His gaze was on the ground until the screaming got even louder and he couldn’t suppress a smile anymore. Eunhyuk looked up – and could see the others in the distance. They were standing in front of a colorful wall and their smiles were so bright that all of his worries left his head within a heartbeat.

His own smile widened even more and he quickened his steps until he was almost running. It was Leeteuk who spread his arms first and so Eunhyuk flung his arms around his neck as if it was the last thing he wanted to do in his life. They hadn’t seen each other for three years now because of Leeteuk's own military service and him being here also meant that…        
Eunhyuk looked over Leeteuk's shoulder and saw Yesung and Heechul, softly smiling at him. His own smile grew once more and he clung to the leader as firmly as he could.

"You've made it", he heard the elder say and quickly nodded his head as his eyes started to water with tears of joy. Siwon appeared out of nowhere and joined the hug; the others doing the same thing until they were all together in one big hug. Eunhyuk couldn’t suppress his tears anymore.

"Hyung, don’t cry!" Ryeowook exclaimed from somewhere, followed by laughter.

"Seems like you haven’t changed at all. You're still the little crybaby that you've been two years ago", Kangin commented amused and Eunhyuk could feel somebody patting his head.

"Yah, Youngwoon! Don’t act like you're any different. Remember your own discharge; you  cried your eyes out at the dorm." The group erupted into laughter because of Heechul's words.

"How do you know? You weren’t even there!"

"Shut up, I have my sources."

They hugged for a couple of seconds more before they eventually let go of each other. Leeteuk gripped Eunhyuk's shoulders softly and send him a worried glance as the younger sloppily wiped his cheeks. "Are you okay?" he asked and Eunhyuk nodded hastily.

He looked at the smiling face of the leader who had dyed his hair in a darker brown shade and noticed with relief that he hadn’t changed at all. In fact, none of them had. Looking around he saw everybody he had expected to see; he knew that Sungmin and Shindong weren’t there because they had enlisted a couple of months ago. But he kept searching for somebody else, someone special that was still missing.

"Let's greet the journalists and fans", Leeteuk said and squeezed his shoulders slightly before gently pushing him to stand in front of the wall with a hand on his back.

The other members took their places on his right and left side and lifted their hand as they introduced themselves. Eunhyuk was glad that he was able to say those words again and hearing the fans' loud screaming, he guessed that they were too. He bowed, explained how proud he was that he had been able to serve his country and that it had made him a better person. Those words left his lips without much effort; he had found them in the mail a few days ago and had learnt them by heart. He knew that he was dancing to S.M.'s tune by doing this, but it was perfectly fine with him. Because maybe, just maybe, his behavior would help him some other time.

After finishing his talk, Leeteuk said a few more words before all of them bowed one last time and walked – with the fans' screaming in their ears – over to the two black vans that would bring them home.

"Ah, really. I'm so glad that you're back", Leeteuk said who had taken his seat in the front next to the driver, with a wide grin.

"That's true", the maknae said sighing while pulling out his phone. "Without you our choreographies looked like -"

"Kyuhyun!"

"- and with Donghee-hyung leaving it got even worse."

"What's that supposed to mean? I'm still here and I think I did a pretty good job as SuJu's head dancer."

All of their eyes travelled to Yesung for a moment and there was this unpleasant silence that let the smile on the former's lips vanish and crumble qui