Chapter Three: The Search

Jongin had always been somewhat of a child prodigy.

He was every parent’s dream child.

Jongin was a handsome young boy who had a great personality. Everybody loved him -- teachers, students and parents alike.

It was difficult not to like him. He was smart academic wise and intelligent beyond his years. He was multi-talented and aced in everything he did.

All through his school years, he had topped the class and had even been placed in an accelerated group for fast learners such as himself.

He could play the drums, the guitar and the piano, all taught to him by Chanyeol, who had grown up in an environment where music was essential. It was in the air that they breathe, and to be without it would basically be death.

Jongin was also gifted in the performing arts. He danced like the wind, graceful as a swan. His limbs moved with every beat as he conveys his emotions by displaying what he can’t put into words.

He truly was a star, not only in his parent’s eyes, but in everyone else’s.

Though Jongin was constantly surrounded by a large group of friends who would do just about anything to win his attention, the one friend Jongin had considered to be his best friend was a certain doe-eyed boy named Do Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo was everything Jongin wasn’t; he was quiet and shy. He was reserved and had often battled with issues pertaining to his low self-esteem.

If anything, Jongin was Kyungsoo’s rock, and at most times, so was Kyungsoo to Jongin. They relied on each other to get through everything and although their friendship hadn’t seen much of bad times, they thought their relationship to be as strong as that of the bond between brothers.

That was how close they were.

Kyungsoo could read Jongin like an open book, and Jongin knew Kyungsoo better than he knew himself.

Jongin and Kyungsoo often reminisce their first meeting.

They had met at a playground when they were both five. Jongin had been sitting under a tree nearby with Chanyeol who was teaching him the basics of playing a guitar when a young Jongin’s attention was diverted to a wailing boy huddled under the yellow slide of the playground.

Out of sympathy, Jongin had stood up and walked over to the crying boy and crouched next to him, tentatively placing a small hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” were the first words he’d uttered.

The crying boy continued to sob, ignoring Jongin’s question.

“Yah, the freak with the big eyes is crying! What a sissy!”

Children around them had gathered and a few authoritative ones had stepped forward to continually tease the sobbing boy.

Jongin soon realized that those punks had been immaturely picking on the boy for the way he looked, and Jongin was mad. How anyone could even be so insensitive was beyond him.

Glaring at the bullies, Jongin gently pulled the crying boy to his feet and sheltered him from them, bringing him to a quieter spot. After countless of failed attempts at trying to comfort the boy, Jongin finally resorted to dance. And once he started, the boy stopped crying and he was unable to peel his eyes off the breathtaking scene before him.

Jongin did one last little twirl and dropped down to one knee in front of the hiccupping boy, holding a hand out and smiling handsomely.

“My name’s Jongin. What’s yours?”

“K-K-Kyungsoo.”

 “I’m glad you stopped crying, K-K-Kyungsoo, because you look so much more handsome now.”

That had cause a smile to spread across Kyungsoo’s tear-streaked face and as Chanyeol watched his son from afar, he couldn’t help but chuckle at how cute it was. The scene had been all too familiar and it had reminded him of how he had first met Baekhyun – he had been the one to save him, just like how Jongin had been the one to save the crying boy.

Maybe he did take after Chanyeol after all.

+++

As Jongin stood at the steps of the front door of his best friend’s house, a feeling of regret washed over him.

He wasn’t sure what Kyungsoo’s expression was, mainly because 90% of the time he had a look of surprise on his face when he widened his eyes, but it was starting to look as if he was fighting back the urge to frown in disapproval.

Instead, he took a deep breath and let out a sigh.

“Jongin, you can’t just run away from home.”

“Why not!? It’s not like they care about me anymore, anyway!”

Jongin shouted a little too harshly as Kyungsoo recoiled from his friend. Jongin was rarely angry and when he was, Kyungsoo was always afraid of what he might do because of his rashness.

“You know that’s not true. Besides, your parents will be worried. They’re probably out there searching for you right now.”

“Soo, you’re supposed to be my best friend.” Jongin gritted his teeth in disappointment.

“I’m your best friend that is why I’m telling you to go back home. Don’t do anything stupid.”

Kyungsoo held a hand out to touch Jongin’s arm only to grasp at nothing but air as the latter pulled his arm back, taking a huge step backward and away from the boy.

“You know what? Maybe it’s time for you to get a new best friend because you’re not mine anymore.”

“Come on, Jongin, stop being so childish.”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes as Jongin continued to glare at the smaller boy.

“I thought we had each other’s back. I guess I was wrong.”

Jongin’s glare turned into a disappointed pout, but more than anything, he was hurt. Here he was, having run away from home, and not even his best friend was going to help him out.

He was truly on his own.

Jongin turned around and began to walk down the steps, slow at first, but immediately broke out into a sprint as soon as the sole of his shoes hit the muddy ground. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, ignoring Kyungsoo’s pleas for him to stop.

He didn’t know how long he’d been running, but soon his legs gave way without warning and he fell to the ground, breaking his fall with both his palms on the asphalt ground beneath him.

For the first time since the news of his parent’s separation, tears began to stream down his face. He was hurt physically, but more than that, he was emotionally drained.

The truth that his family, his security, was falling apart sank in like a ton of bricks and it was hard to let it go.

Jongin pushed himself to a sitting position with his knees tucked underneath him and continued to weep, his head bowed down in despair.

For the most part of his life, Jongin had always been the mature and bubbly kid who had no worries of any sorts.

But as he sat there in the middle of the empty street crying his heart out, the tough front he had always put up broke away and he became the 12-year-old boy who longed for his parent’s warm comfort.

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“How did this happen?”

Chanyeol asked tersely as he stood over Baekhyun who was sitting rigidly on the sofa.

The smaller male had been sitting there for close to an hour after making the call to his estranged ex-husband-to-be, staring into space as his mind bombarded with worried thoughts of his first son.

Baekhyun snapped out of his state of daze and glanced up at Chanyeol who was staring at him accusingly.

“Why are you looking at me like that!?”

“Like what?”

“Like it’s my fault he ran away. You were the one who failed to talk to him last night! You let him slam the door in your face and you didn’t even bother trying to get him to calm down, and now he’s done something drastic!”

Baekhyun jumped to his two feet and glared at the taller boy who towered over him, though his height wasn’t all that imposing on the shorter man.

“Hey, hey, giving him “some space” was your idea, remember!?”

Chanyeol yelled in defence. The air between them was heated and the only thing that managed to dissipate the tension a little was the soft whimper coming from the archway of the living room.

Both men turned to see their second son cowering in fear, his baby lips trembling as he clasped his hands together in front of him, eyes nervously glancing at the pair who had been screaming just moments before.

Baekhyun threw away his defensive posture as he hurried to his son and picked him up in his arms, holding him close to his chest and letting his head rest in the space between his shoulder and his neck.

“Shh, Baby, it’s ok. Appa and I were just talking. We weren’t fighting.”

Baekhyun shushed Sehun in a gentle voice but glared at Chanyeol over Sehun’s head. Sehun had never been fond of arguments, especially that between his parents. But in all their years of marriage, Baekhyun and Chanyeol had rarely shouted at each other, simply because they didn’t believe in it. They would rather sit down and talk it out. Besides, Sehun hated noise. And he hated it when people were upset with each other.

“So what do we do? Do we look for him or…?”

Chanyeol fell onto the couch and hung his head low.

“We’ll drop Sehun off at Yixing’s then we’ll go look for Jongin. We can’t lodge a missing person’s report yet, he’s only been gone for a few hours.”

Chanyeol nodded in acknowledgement. He had always relied on Baekhyun when it came to solving of problems. Baekhyun was definitely the better of the two at handling such situations.

The three of them drove down the few blocks to Yixing’s house in the next few minutes, quickly explaining what had happened and thanking him for agreeing to babysit Sehun on such short notice. Chanyeol had initially suggested dropping off Sehun at school but the boy had thrown a huge fit over it so they had no other choice.

Zhang Yixing and Chanyeol had been good friends ever since they were kids. Yixing knew everything about Chanyeol. He had been there before Baekhyun, and when Baekhyun came along into Chanyeol’s life, they hit it off as friends.

Yixing had been there through it all – their wedding, the birth of their first son, the birth of Sehun. He had even been there when they were going through the darkest period of their lives when Sehun was sick and they had had to seek treatment for him. He had been the couple’s pillar of support when, at times, they were unable to handle the responsibilities on their own.

“Thanks again, Xing. I’m so sorry to have bothered you. We’ll be back for him soon.”

“It’s fine, really, Baek. Besides, Kiko’s home. The baby’s been giving her a hard time lately. Her back’s quite sore today.”

Yixing greeted them with a kind smile as he opened the door wider so that Baekhyun could wave at Yixing’s seven months pregnant wife who was sitting at the couch.

“I hope you find him soon. Just don’t panic okay? I’m sure he’s fine. He can take care of himself, that boy.”

Baekhyun gave a small smile though the worry in his eyes was still apparent. He hurried back to the car where Chanyeol was waiting for him.

With Sehun gone, the car was dead quiet. Though Sehun hadn’t said anything in the car, he had filled the silence with his humming. Now, Baekhyun fiddled with his hands in his lap as his ears throbbed from the deafening silence.

They circled the neighbourhood for at least three times, eyes peeled to see if they could sport a certain 12-year-old boy roaming the streets. Their job was made easier since it was the time of the day when adults were at work and children were in school so there weren’t many people out and about.

“Maybe he’s at a friend’s place?”

Chanyeol’s deep voice jolted Baekhyun out from his own thoughts as the smaller man turned to face him.

“We could try Kyungsoo. He only ever goes to that boy’s house.”

Chanyeol made a left turn at a junction and headed straight for their next destination that was Kyungsoo’s house.

Baekhyun stood at the door and fidgeted nervously after ringing the doorbell with Chanyeol right beside him.

A short woman with jet black hair up in a neat bun opened the door with a look of hostility as she frowned at the pair who bowed in greeting.

“Good morning, Mrs. Do. I’m sorry to disturb you but I was wondering if our son Jongin was here?”

Baekhyun asked politely as he looked on at the woman in anticipation, hoping she would say yes. To his dismay, Mrs. Do narrowed her round eyes at him.

“No.”

“Alright then, thank you and I’m sorry once again to have—”

“—I always knew your little family was messed up.”

Baekhyun’s eyes widened at the sudden interruption as he cocked his head to the side in confusion.

“I’m sorry, wha--?”

"--You and your little of a lover are disgusting. The society doesn’t need people like you around.”

She snarled as she threw insults at them. Baekhyun barely flinched as she did so, because he had gone through this before. The Do family were homophobic and despised Baekhyun and Chanyeol, though they couldn’t really do anything much to stop their son from interacting with Jongin.

Every time he dropped Jongin off or picked him up from the Do family’s house, Kyungsoo’s mother will greet him with a look of repugnance along with the occasional spitting of foul words directed towards him. He never retorted or defended himself because he knew how important Kyungsoo’s friendship is to Jongin and he felt like he shouldn’t do anything to piss the Do’s off in case they took out their hatred for him on Jongin and banned their son from ever talking to Jongin.

Jongin would never forgive him for that.

Chanyeol, on the other hand, was shocked by it. This was his first time meeting his son’s friend’s mother and he hadn’t expected to be rudely treated like that; like they were dogs to society.

Baekhyun could see Chanyeol taking a menacing step forward, ready to burst out in anger, so he quickly held an arm to stop him, shaking his head in disapproval. Chanyeol still looked murderous but he kept silent nonetheless.

“…And because of your son, my son was late for school because he tried to chase your son when he ran away from their little dispute.”

Her tone was sarcastic and pointedly accusing but Baekhyun could care less for that because at least now he knew that Jongin had dropped by just a while ago. He couldn't have made it that far from where they now were.

“So Kyungsoo couldn’t find Jongin after he ran away?”

“No.”

Her reply came curtly as she turned up her nose at him.

“Alright, thank you for your help, Mrs. Do.”

The woman slammed the door in their faces even before Baekhyun could finish his sentence. He turned around on his heels and jogged back to the car, Chanyeol trailing close behind.

It was another silent ride in the car as they drove around aimlessly in search of their still-missing son.

“What was that about?”

Chanyeol broke the ice as the car came to a standstill at a red traffic light. Baekhyun kept his eyes fixed on the road ahead.

“What do you mean?”

“That back there. What was she saying? Why was she being rude?”

“She wasn’t being rude, she’s just like that, I guess.”

Baekhyun attempted to keep Chanyeol off the topic but somehow it had done the exact opposite.

“You mean she insults you every time you come to pick Jongin up!?”

The light had turned green and he pressed hard on the accelerator, causing them to drive off at a terrifying speed.

“It’s not a big deal, Chanyeol. Why are you shouting?”

“It’s a huge deal, Baekhyun! Why do you let them treat you like this? Why do you let them talk about our family like we’re garbage? See, this is why we’re getting a divorce. You just pretend there’s no real problem when there actually is. Just like how you ignore the problems between us! We’ve been having a problem with communication ever since we found out about Sehun’s illness five years ago and you refuse to accept it!”

Baekhyun was a little stunned at Chanyeol’s words that had totally taken a 360 degrees veer off topic but he gathered his thoughts and began to say his mind.

“No, Chanyeol, we’re getting a divorce because you can’t handle it. You can’t handle the truth. I know you wish that things were different, that Sehun was as healthy as Jongin. So that you wouldn’t have to spend more time at the office earning those extra bucks just so we could keep sending him for those therapy classes...”

“I’ve never wished for things to be different.”

Chanyeol says it so quietly that it goes unnoticed by Baekhyun whose voice had dropped down to a hoarse whisper.

“…And because you've fallen out of love."

Chanyeol had to pull up at a sidewalk and the only sounds were coming from the soft purr of the engine and their heavy breathing. The argument had temporarily made them forget of their missing son and now both were filled with thoughts of the paramount problem that had driven a wall in between them for the last few years towards the end of their marriage. They were only called once again to the disappearance of their first son when Baekhyun's eye caught on to a tiny huddled figure a few ways down the road on the pebbled sidewalk.

Without a word, Baekhyun unlocked his side of the door and jumped out before he was sprinting towards the small form that was bent over on the ground. Chanyeol sensed the urgency in the shorter male's actions and bolted after him without any questions.

"Jongin?" 

The only acknowledgement the boy made was to sob even harder than he had been before Baekhyun arrived and the man drew the little boy's being into his arms, crying out in relief as a few stray tears rolled down his flustered cheeks.

"My baby," Baekhyun breathed, "I found you."

Chanyeol hovered close to the pair, a sense of relief washing over him as his eyes raked over his son to see if he had been hurt in any way. He pursed his lips when he noticed a few angry red scratches littering his forearms and a deep cut on his right palm with blood trickling from the wound.

"Come on, sweetheart, let's go home."

+++

Chanyeol watched intently as Baekhyun cleaned the wounds their son had attained in his fall with utmost care and love. He watched as Baekhyun's nose scrunched a little, the way his eyebrows furrowed together so he could concentrate on applying the medication on the cuts. He watched with his arms crossed, leaning against the frame of the door of Jongin's room, as Baekhyun dressed the treated wounds and closed the first aid kit at his feet before tucking Jongin into bed and kissing his forehead for the longest time.

Chanyeol found that he couldn't peel his eyes away from the scene before him, because for those few moments, Baekhyun appeared to be that sixteen year old boy he once fell in love with.

He was tugged out of his reverie when Baekhyun softly called out for him to step aside so he could leave the room with the box of first aid kit in his hands, keeping his eyes on the ground and refusing to make any eye contact with the taller boy. Chanyeol quickly obliged to Baekhyun's request and stared after the boy who shuffled downstairs. He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, wondering when was the last time they had actually looked into each other's eyes. 

It must have been back when they were still in love.

Now, they could hardly look at each other without a hint of a sense of annoyance. Long gone were the times when Baekhyun would look at Chanyeol as if the latter put the stars in the sky. Long gone were the times when Chanyeol would gaze adoringly at Baekhyun with a subconscious silly lopsided grin that told of his love for the boy.

When Chanyeol reached the foot of the staircase, he froze. From where he was, he could make out Baekhyun who had his back towards Chanyeol on the sofa, his face buried in his hands as he struggled to regulate his breathing although he couldn’t stop from exhaling shaky breaths. Despite being quite a distance from him, Chanyeol could still see the slight heaving of his shoulders and the trembling of his slender fingers that moved to card themselves through his dark disheveled hair.

“I’m going.”

Baekhyun jumped at Chanyeol’s loud voice and quickly blinked away the tears before turning around to nod at the taller male who left without another glance back.

+++

“Jongin, come on, you need to eat.”

Baekhyun coaxed his son who tightened his arms across his chest as he stared out into the nothingness in front of him, his face fixed in a glower. Baekhyun tried to gently push the spoon of porridge into his mouth but Jongin used his quick reflexes to harshly shove his father’s arm out of his face, causing the bowl in Baekhyun’s other hand to fall to the ground, the sound of the shattering of glass piercing through the air. Baekhyun let out a small gasp in surprise and swallowed hard.

Jongin showed no signs of remorse as he dove back under his duvet. After a minute of useless waiting, Baekhyun slowly got up from the side of Jongin’s bed and bent down to pick up all the shards of glass, making sure he didn’t miss any in case Jongin hurt himself stepping on them.

Just as he threw away the mess, his second son ran over to him and wrapped his short and stubby arms around his thighs. Baekhyun picked him up in his arms and kissed his lips before he drew back to look into Sehun’s bright eyes, a smile playing on his plump baby lips.

“At least I still have someone who doesn’t hate me. Please don’t leave ever me like the rest, Sehunnie.”

+++

Chanyeol stared longingly at the packet sitting innocently on his coffee table. He felt as if it was calling out to him and it was too tempting not to resist. In the end, the urge to pick it up won him over and he did just that, withdrawing the first stick of many.

He stood up to the kitchen of his cramped studio apartment and found the accessory in one of the drawers, lighting it up in a swift movement and moving back to the living room where he could smoke by the opened windows.

Chanyeol wasn’t a heavy smoker. In fact, he wasn’t even a smoker to begin with. He’s only had a few puffs here and there in the past whenever things got too much for him to handle. The only thing that ever kept him from picking it up full-time was Baekhyun. He strongly disapproved of the bad habit but Chanyeol figured that since they weren’t really together anymore, he should be able to do as he pleased. It had been a rough day; anyway, with the whole Jongin being missing saga and he had to blow off some steam.

Just as he brought the to his lips, his doorbell rang and he almost dropped it to the ground in startlement. Thinking it was Baekhyun, he hastily stubbed it out and flicked the remains out the window, wiping his hands on his jeans to get rid of the smell. The stench still lingered but it was still worth a try. The ringing became more persistent and he hurried over to the door, blowing air out his mouth one last time and swinging it open to reveal a face that wasn’t Baekhyun.

“Jongdae? What are you doing here?”

Said male with neatly combed chestnut brown hair loosened his tie as he pushed his way inside with a sigh, making himself comfortable on the couch. Chanyeol locked the door behind him and sat himself beside his guest. It had been a few weeks since he last saw the man although they work for the same company. The last he had seen him, he had promised to return with news of ending his marriage so their own budding relationship could progress.

“You’ve been smoking.”

It wasn’t a question, it was a statement and Chanyeol felt himself flinch a little at the words but his shoulder soon relaxed when he realized that it was just Jongdae, his colleague. For a second he thought it was Baekhyun beside him from the way he had said it, and he had racked his brains for an excuse just like all those other times Baekhyun had caught him doing the dirty deed.

“Bad day?”

Chanyeol nodded in response.

“We’re getting a divorce.”

“ing finally.”

Jongdae’s arms had s around Chanyeol’s waist, moving on to roam along the smooth skin of his chest beneath his shirt. Chanyeol nodded in reply and closed his eyes, allowing Jongdae to continue his ministrations. It was the first time Jongdae was touching him like this and also the first time he was giving permission to do so. Even though they had made known their feelings of attraction towards each other a little more than a year ago, Chanyeol had always drawn the line at holding hands. He didn’t like the idea of doing things as such behind Baekhyun’s back. It felt a whole lot like cheating to him and though his feelings for Baekhyun had long faded, he wasn’t so heartless as to hurt Baekhyun like that.

His shirt was discarded on the ground and he was pushed back onto the couch.

Chanyeol felt a pair of lust crazed lips attack his own and it took him a second to relax into it before he returned the kiss. It was all new to him and his brain was having a hard time registering the change such that he didn’t know if it was one his heart welcomed. Instead, he let the foreign feeling overwhelm him and pulled on the man’s neck to deepen the kiss, feeling fingers tangling themselves in his hair.

He knew he was going to regret this tomorrow.

But tonight, he just couldn’t care less. He just wanted to feel something even if it were just for a night.

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