Haeryung wouldn’t stop staring at me as I ignored her question typing away on the keyboard in yearbook. I can’t help but to bite my lip to prevent myself from smiling.

“Why can’t you tell me?” She asks

“I would if I knew”

She raises her eyebrow “You’re dating him but you don’t know if you’re official?”

“We haven’t talked about it”

Weeks have gone by and I still didn’t know what my relationship with Sehun was? Based on what I know, I think he stilled liked me? He holds my hand when we walk the hallways, he waits for me after school, he takes me out, but they’ve changed. The spontaneous side of him has disappeared and he hasn’t kissed me since the charity event last month. When I hang out with him we don’t talk about our relationship and I don’t know what he wants to do from here.

Haeryung smiles “Talk to him. Ask” She pauses “I did that with Ryu and now we’re together”

I appreciated her advice but Sehun wasn’t like any other guy, if I could simply talk to him to get an answer I would but he never did well with carrying a serious conversation.

“If you don’t” She interrupts my thoughts “then you’re just going to torture yourself.”

There’s a silence between us as I process her words

She continues “How long have you guys been hanging out?”

“For a while now”

“There you go” She smiles “I think it’s safe to have that conversation with him”

I stared in one spot, thinking that maybe she’s right. If I wanted things to move forward then I had to take action. What if he’s over it? What if he doesn’t like me anymore?

“Don’t worry” She places her hand over my shoulder “you have the power of positive thinking, everything will be fine” She nods and my face softens, she was right. I have to stay positive.

I heard the music but I wasn’t paying attention. I was behind each count and I wasn’t thinking what move was next causing me to forget the steps. I irritate myself because I can’t think straight so I decide to just stop the music. Then my mind wonders off again.

“What are you doing?” He asks

I swallow before I answer “Sorry”

The room stays quiet and the silence felt awkward, for me at least.

“Are you tired?”

I shake my head and place my hands on my hips resting my eyes on the floor. I would think I’d be tired since it’s late at night but the real reason I can’t focus is because I couldn’t stop thinking where I stood with him. I knew deep down I should allow things to continue to go however they’re going but it was difficult when he never talked about his feelings and sometimes his actions didn’t speak clear enough for me.

“Nervous?”

His voice was close and when I look up he gently startles me as he stood in front of me. He cups my face with my hair locked in between his fingers. I look away, my eyes meeting his chest.

I finally reply “I think I’m just going to call it a night.”

Without waiting for his response I pull away and walk to where my stuff was sitting. I take a deep breath and breathe out as I walked. When I reached my bag I undo my plaid long sleeve shirt from my waist and put it on, not bothering to button it up. I hear music start playing when I turn around with my bag hanging to my side I see Sehun warming up.

He stretches his neck to the side and stretches his arms. When he’s ready he starts dancing. As I watched him I noticed more that it wasn’t the choreography that I’ve been practicing but some other different style.

My eyebrows pulled in together as I stood there amazed. His feet work was insane and the way his body moved made it seem effortless. He calls me over with his fingers but I look away and start to walk away. He stands in front of me and pulls my bag off my shoulder. I try hiding my smile when I spot one on his face. He dances around me and I lightly push him away. He slides his foot and gets closer to my body. He still had a stupid little smirk on his face.

I roll my eyes and try leaning in to pick up my bag but he stops me, taking my hand. I lightly throw my head back as I allowed myself to chuckle. I gave in and danced along with him. As we danced I realized how relaxed I felt, everything that was bothering me was no longer fogging up my mind. It was crazy how Sehun had a hold of my emotions like that.

Every cute little step he did caused me to blush and smile. I would be able to hear him let a small laugh escape from time to time and it just didn’t make it easy on my heart. These stupid little things that just made me go crazy for this idiot, my idiot.

When the music stopped he was out of breath and out of nowhere he finally kissed me. His full bottom lips gently pulling away. He looks into my eyes and after he stares at me, we lock lips again. This time it was with passion, it was aggressive, and he took full charge. He pulled me in close to him and as the kiss deepened, I allowed him to have access to my tongue.

To my surprise he pushed me against the wall and he was getting out of control. Our breathing was rapid and I knew where he was going with this.

“Wait” I say in between the kiss. His lips touch the bottom of my jawline and down my neck “Stop” He listens and pulls away.

Our eyes meet and there was something strange about them, they weren’t soft but they weren’t cold…they were blank.

I look away feeling uncomfortable again “I—I don’t want to do this.”

He nods “Sorry” He pauses

“I’m just…”

“You don’t have to explain”

There was no way I wanted to stop but I had to. I couldn’t act this way without having answers. I needed to know if he would ever want to be in a relationship with me, if he even considered it.

“Do you want to be with me?” I bravely ask

He stays quiet, unsure where to look. “I’m with you right now?”

“I mean” I take a deep breath “do you want to be together.”

“You want to?” He stares at me

I look away shyly “Only if you want to.”

I hear him take a deep breath and release it all out “Things are playing out so far…why rush it.”

“I don’t mean to, it’s just I want to know if you’ll ever want to be in a relationship”

There, I blurted it out and got it out of the way.

“Let’s wait.”

I wasn’t necessarily too excited about his response but I wasn’t mildly disappointed either, at least I knew that there could potentially be something more from this. I nod and his warm body detaches from mine. He walks towards my bag and hands it back to me. I noticed he started acting strange, distant again.

I sat with Tao, Kyungri, and Kai as we all had our frozen yogurt. Everyone else was running late to meet up with us but we were pretty sure Chanyeol and Saerin were fooling around. Sehun and Kris made other plans which I was a little bummed out about but Kai made up for it, he was being a great friend making all of us laugh.

“So let’s take advantage that the prick isn’t here to plan his fat surprise party” Kai scoops his frozen yogurt and places a mouthful in his mouth

Tao nods “We need Yeol though. He’s always good with themes”

“Who are we talking about?” Kyungri asks “What surprise party?”

Kai swallows before replying “Sehun, his birthday is on the 12^th”

“It is?”

Everyone stares over at me

“You’re his girlfriend and you didn’t know that?”

I sigh “I’m not”

Tao’s reaction was confused by my response “I thought—”

I shake my head. Then a thought popped into mind. It wouldn’t hurt to ask a few question on Sehun’s output when it came to relationships with his friends, they knew him better than anyone else and they were the only ones who knew his past.

“Has he ever been in a relationship?”

Kai and Tao nod

“No, but he’s dated a lot of girls” Kai laughs and when he looks at my face he tries to fix his wording “Not a lot of girls…he’s dated plenty of girls…no” He pauses “He’s dated.”

Tao rolls his eyes and Kyungri is the one to ask “Is he not wanting to try things with you?”

It was a little embarrassing talking about this in front of his two friends but if I wanted to clear things up I was going to have to get them involved.

“He doesn’t want to rush things”

Tao nods “Don’t worry. You’re the first girl he’s actually kept around for this long. He’ll come through” He smiles reassuring me.

“If you want to speed things up you should give him birthday ” Kai jokes and I playfully slap his arm and he laughs “?” I slap him again “Sorry ” He teases

“Do you want me to tell Kris to kick your ?” I laugh

After that, Kai finally stopped giving me a hard time and they started coming up with plans for Sehun’s birthday party. It felt good that Tao shared that with me and now all I had to do was stay positive……..crap, what am I going to get him for his birthday?