His Dilemma

Right Next To You

~Yunho~

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The past 3 days, I've been feeling a bit awkward. More than I usually do. Why?
Well mostly because I always had the same routine. Every morning Changmin went inside my bedroom, Harshly waking me up and didn't talk to me that much. Yes, he's still mad at me for what happened to Yuki..

Micky didn't say much and so didn't Junsu either. Well at least they talked to me while JaeJoong exchanged words once in a while, only when he had to.. I think..
I hadn't seen them so often since I always go to the hospital early in the morning and comes home late at night and Changmin's always asleep and so is the rest of them or sometimes they're at the library.

I knew myself that JaeJoong and Yoochun wasn't much of a library fan so when Junsu told me that they were there, it kind of gave me a shock. As for Changmin, He spent most of his time there since he found the library a good place to study at

This morning, I went to the kitchen to see a tired JaeJoong and Yoochun. They really looked exhausted and Yoochun were kind of gazing outside the window, but not really looking at anything. As For JaeJoong, he was slower than usually.. and this was the first time ever he was late with the food.. that he usually cooks for me and Yuki

"Morning.." I mumbled as I entered

Yoochun didn't answer. I guess he was sleeping.. with his eyes open? JaeJoong just looked up and nodded

Even though they didn't talk to me, I still feel a responsibility to take care of them so I knew that I had to ask them why they were looking like this

"What's up with you?" I asked

No one answered

I looked at JaeJoong's back which was facing me and Yoochun were just.. somewhere else

I slammed the table with a Boom and both of them reacted and looked at me

"What did you do that for?" Yoochun asked

I looked at him

"What's up with you? You look like you've been walking around the freaking globe" I said

"It's nothing.. Just tired" Yoochun mumbled

"I've noticed. You leave early in the morning, Coming home late at night.. What are you up to? Clubbing? Drinking?" I asked

JaeJoong sighed and started to pack the food into the small boxes

"Answer me. You can't ignore me forever. I don't care if you're still mad at me. You should take care of yourself" I said

"Just mind your own business Hyung"

I looked up and searched for the mouth that just snapped at me. Well it wasn't a big news since I knew that it was Changmin. He entered tiredly as well, and he also looked tired . Exhausted to be more specific

Jaejoong walked over and put the bag in front of me

"HEre's the food. Make sure you take care of her well today. It's her favourite food" JaeJoong said

I just sighed sarcastically and stood up and grabbed my bag

"Haven't I taken care of her carefully already?" I snapped as I started to walk out from the kitchen

"Not really. You caused the accident and she ended up on hospital.. You have no right to be sarcastic or be angry right now. If there's someone that has to be angry.. then it's us.. no.. actually." Changmin said and put down his cup of tea

He looked at me

"It's Yuki"

My grip around the bag with the food hardened and I left the kitchen without a word.

I had to get out of here. As soon as I entered the hospital like the days before, I started to recognize all the nurses that's taking care of her.. and the doctors..
I entered her room quietly but to my surprise she wasn't asleep

In fact she looked..a lot more happier and she even sat up, looking all energetic and such. Okay she was healing and had been sleeping so much the past 3 days but sitting up and greeting me with a huge grin on her face? Isn't that too scary?

"Hi! It took you long enough. You are 20 minutes late today" She smiled

I couldn't help but to smile at her. She was really too cute when she was like that..

"Well.. some stuff happened at home.."

"Oh.. mind.. telling me what?" She asked

I smiled

"It's not a big deal.. Anyways.. JaeJoong said he cooked your favourite meal today?" I said and put down the bag on the table

"Let's have some now.. I need energy" She cheered

"For what?"

"Surprise" She laughed

I shrugged and did as she said. I took the dining table that's for the patience who's sitting in bed and took out the food. It smelled great

"Whoa!! It's ramen and some kimchi stew!" She cheered

"Wow.. he must have really gone up early to make this.." I mumbled

"There's even Baked potatoes!!"

I laughed at her cuteness as she was looking at the food happily. I guess.. JaeJoong never fails in making girls happy..

"Whoa!!"

She started to eat happily and all i could do was to sit aside watching and eat slowly. It's been awhile that I've seen her this happy and even though she was injured, having a band aid around her face, she didn't make me feel.. guilty and she was always talking to me normally.. and happily

"So.. did you have a good night's sleep?" She asked

I shrugged

"I did.. and you?"

"Nae~~! I slept really well.."

"Hey.. what's the reason for your happiness today?" I asked

She shrugged

"I have something"

"Oh chincha?"

She nodded

"I'll show you after we've eaten"

After I finished my bowl I couldn't help but laugh at her as she was still eating
Suddenly I let out laugh

"Wae?" She asked with full of food

I grabbed the napkin and leaned closer to her

"You really do have an appetite" I smiled

I saw her blush and she looked down and turned to the left. I remember that gesture..
Selina used to do that to. First blush, look down and then turn her head to the left..

A chill ran down my spine as I watched her quietly

After we finished the food, I took it away and she told me to sit on the bed

"What are you going to show me?"

She then took out something . She put it down on the table and a bag of candies

I started to laugh. I couldn't stop and she laughed with me

"GO STOP? THE GAME?!" I asked as I was wiping away the tears because I laughed so hard

She shrugged

"The one who wins gets candy" She smiled

"I'm up!!" I laughed

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~JaeJoong~

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"I GIVE UP! THERE'S NOTHING IN THESE DAMN BOOKS!!" I groaned out of anger and threw it down on the floor in our livingroom

Yoochun looked up from his computer and so did Changmin while Junsu put down the book he was holding

"We've been searching.. and trying to find out some things.. information.. whatsoever for 3 days and seriously.. STILL NO LUCK?" I groaned and sat down on the couch

"We can't give up now.." Changmin said

"I'm at the verge to do that Changmin ah~~ . Time is running out. Constantly chasing us.. Selina's injured, hospitalized, Yunho is just.. I don't know.." I said frustrated

Changmin chuckled

"He's doing fine.. I know that.. Haven't you notice his weird smile and eyes these days?" Changmin asked

"What?" Junsu, Yoochun and I chorused

Changmin rolled his eyes

"Don't tell me you've missed out the small change in him?" Changmin asked

"Well.. I haven't been around him so much since I've been spending my time in front of the computer" Yoochun shrugged

I shook my head

"The past few days, he has been.. more.. calm.. Like.. he's peaceful you know? He protested at first when we told him to take care of her, but as the days kept passing, he hasn't complained a bit even though he has to stay there for 10 hours.." Changmin said

"You're right.." Junsu mumbled

"I think I'm going to hospital.. I need to see her.." I said and stood up

"need to ?" Yoochun asked

I shrugged and grabbed my jacket and carkeys

"I haven't visited her for a while.. I don't want her to think that I've forgotten her.."

"Oh.. right.." They all mumbled

"How about you guys stay here and I'll be back after I've paid her a visit?" I said

they all nodded

"Say hi from us" Junsu smiled

I nodded

As soon as I arrived at the hospital, while holding the bouquet with the white lilies that I had stopped to buy on my way, I could hear laughter from her hospitalroom as I was standing outside

I opened the door quietly and entered and I saw them playing Go-Stop.
It felt like my heart were sinking miles down the stomach, through earth if I can describe it in that way since.. it was awfully painful to see her smile and laugh.. and Yunho as well..

Jealous.. that's the right word to describe the feelings inside of me right now..

"I WON!!!!!!"

I saw Selina cheer happily as Yunho sighed cause he lost and she grabbed some candy from the bag. Yunho started to shuffle the cards again

"It's not over yet!!" He said determined about trying to win once more..

I had two stuff I wanted to do at the moment. One of them.. was to smile since I could see that Selina was happy to be with Yunho again, even though he didn't know it was her.. I guess spending time with Yunho is really precious..
But at the same time, I wanted Yunho to exchange his place with me so that I could spend time with her instead..

I shook my head slowly

"How can he not see that it's you? It's so obvious.. So many hints.. so many.. resemblances.. " I whispered

"Oh.. JAEJOONG!!"

It felt like I wake up call as I heard my name being shout and I looked up to see both of them smiling at me.

"Oh.. JaeJoong.. come on in!" Yunho smiled

Wow.. all the coldness earlier this morning was gone.. he was a lot more different now.. just like Changmin said

I put on a smile and walked towards them as I smiled widely

"Hi Yuki.. How are you?" I smiled

"I'm fine! Whooa.. are those for me?" She asked cutely and looked at me

I chuckled and nodded. I handed it over as she took them and smelled it

"Looks nice. You sure got taste!" Yunho smiled

I high fived Yunho and nodded

"Whoa.. it's my favourite as well!!" She smiled happily and looked up

"Hey Yunho ah~~ Mind.. to ask for a vase with water?" I asked and looked at him

"Aniyo Sure. I'll be right back" He smiled

As soon as he went outside Selina smiled at me

"I've missed you.. Thank you for the flowers.." She mumbled and leaned forward to hug me

"You're welcome.. I'd buy you a field with these flowers if you want" I smiled

She laughed

"What brings you here? I thought you were busy with school?" She asked

Well.. not school.. more like trying to help her.. although.. I can't tell her that..

"Uhm.. I've been busy.. Mianhe~~ I finished the classes earlier today.."

"Oh.. I see.."

I nodded

I caressed her hair and leaned forward to kiss her forehead

"So.. how have you been? Has he been good to you?"

She nodded happily

"It's more than I can ask for .." She said

"I know.. I see that you're happy.." I mumbled

I looked at her and suddenly she tilted her head to the side and took my hand, causing the blood to rush inside of me

"Why do I feel like you're troubled ?" She asked softly

I looked at her, watching and studying her face.. The nose, the sharp, soft eyes.. Her lips..
If I knew that she didn't love Yunho, probably I would take this opportunity.. to kiss her..
But I knew that this lips.. weren't actually hers.. This body belonged to 'Yuki' .. Not Selina

I lifted my hand and touched her soft cheek and followed her face outlines with my finger..

"It feels like I've.. forgotten.." I whispered

"Forgotten? Forgot what?"

"How you.. really looked like.. The image of you is fading away.. as this body.. 'Yuki'.. is taking over inside my mind.."

She didn't say anything and was just letting me.. play with her face
I knew that I had to stop before I was going to do something.. Something wrong..

"I'm back" Yunho said

I instantly got up from the bed and Selina opened her eyes and looked at me but she didn't say anything..

"Here's the vase with water.." He smiled gently and handed it to Selina

"Gomawo~~"

She put the flowers in the water and put it on the night desk and looked back at me

"Will.. you be back tomorrow?" She asked

I don't know if I should.. but spending time with her.. when she's asking for it.. I can't decline it..

"I'll be back tomorrow.. Don't worry.. Just rest araso?"

I walked over to her and gave her a hug. I pulled away slowly and leaned forward to kiss her on her forehead

"I'll see you at home YUnho. Take care of her.. and don't get her overstressed by trying to win against her" I chuckled

"I won't" Yunho laughed

I walked out of the hospital room and slowly was making my way down to the car. I got into the car and started to drive slowly..

The thoughts of confessing to her kept going round and round in circles inside my head .. For the first time My mind was actually.. trying to tell me to not do it..

My heart didn't want me to do it since it might make things more complicated for her and for Yunho.. but my mind says that.. Yunho don't treat her right like he should..

But somewhere back in my head, I knew that they were meant to be together.. I've never seen a more compatible couple than the two of them.. and to be honest, I couldn't just in between and break them up.. I knew myself that Selina won't be happy.. about it.. and she was going to go through a lot of pain.. Unnecessary pain..

I parked the car and made my way to the dorm, still thinking about my dilemma

"HYUNG?!" I heard Junsu call

"It's me.." I mumbled and closed the door as I was taking off my shoes

"HURRY AND GET IN HERE!" Yoochun said

I reacted instantly on his words and hurried to the livingroom and saw that all three of them were crouching in front of the laptop that CHangmin was on

"What's the matter?" I asked and took off the jacket

"I think I found something" Changmin mumbled

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Comments

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Nyaikou
#1
Loved this story when I first read it 8 years ago on Winglin and I'm glad you kept it on here for more people ❤️?
Angelz0715 #2
Chapter 68: OMG this story is so amazing!!! I keep crying while reading this story!! This seriously need to be feature!!!
HyunJane #3
Chapter 68: it's really good~ i just hope this story will be featured! can you give me soft copies? i really like it! it made me cry , laugh etc.... it's not just fanfiction~ it can give you the TRUE meaning of life~ even some parts are fiction~ but it's still good~ i'm really crying promise! i'm not lying~
wilnikki
#4
This story is really amazing. I read it one day straight. The tree covered in dew was on replay while I was reading the last part and it made me teary eyed on their final moment on the bridge to Jaejoong dying.. a really really good story, thank you very much!!!
yunjae78 #5
Chapter 68: PERFECT! I LOVE THIS STORY!! ♥♥♥
whateveritis #6
always here!! next to you
koreankendi #7
In AWE!!!
Breathtaking! Beautiful!!!
clinaoh
#8
Amazing story <3