Because of Me

Right Next To You

~Selina~

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was sitting on my hospitalbed, waiting for CHangmin to come and pick me up since I was getting discharged today. SEriously, being on hospital had forced me to stay here and I couldn't even try to progress with the mission. So how many days do I have left? 55..

I was staring at the clock, waiting but seems like Changmin was late today..

Suddenly the door opened and to my surprise JaeJoong appeared

"You're ready?" He smiled

I wasn't used to JaeJoong's kind and gentle side since he used to be so cold to me before. But I guess, this isn't a bad thing.. right?

"Nae~~"

HE grabbed the small bag of mine and he grabbed my hand as we walked down the stairs. I didn't protest and just followed him quietly behind

As soon as we had walked down the stairs he let go of my hand and we headed towards the main entrance and outside to the parking plot.

We got into the car and he even opened the door for me. Afterwards he ran over to the other side of the car. For the past few days he had been visiting me, checking up on me and he kept me company even though we didn't say much. He rented movies most of the times and we just sat there and watched the movies, hour after hour.

The times when the guys weren't with me was when they had to stay back at the dorm to keep an eye on Yunho and they also had to attend school

JaeJoong started the car and we got out from the hospital parking plot and I just happened to spin around and in the backseat I saw a bouquet of flowers

"The flowers.. I thought we could just.. stop by Selina.. a bit" JaeJoong said after seeing me looking at them

"oh.."

We parked outside the cemetery and both of us got out of the car and we headed towards the graveyard. 'My' graveyard

It surely felt awkward like most of the times when I visited my own grave. Seriously.. that sound scary.. Visit my own grave..

"What.. do you think she's doing right now?" JAeJoong asked as he put the flowers right next to the stone

"Probably.. looking down on you guys.." I mumbled

"You think?" He asked

For the first time, in a very long time I saw his sincere eyes, his honesty. He was looking for a sign.. an answer about that everything would be ok here while Selina was ok up there..

I couldn't really blame him.. AFter Yunho he was the closest among them all to me.. I guess.. I meant a lot to him

"You miss.. her don't you?" I whispered

He nodded

"So much.. that I.. could.. do anything.. to bring her back.."

I looked at him

"She's.. probably happy.. she's looking down on us I think" I whispered

After a few minutes of silence, he started to walk away from the graveyard and back to the car and I followed him behind

We got into the car and even this time, we didn't exchange any words. Just stayed quiet and drove our way back

I wonder.. how Yunho was doing. AFter my little visit with Faith.. he looked so miserable..

"If you're.. thinking about Yunho.. he's not.. so good at the moment.."

I looked to the side as JAeJoong were keeping his eyes on the road

"What.. do you mean?"

"I just.. had the feeling.. that you were thinking about him.. If you want.. i can take you to our dorm.. but.. I don't know if you'll be able to talk to him.."

"What is that suppose to mean?" I breathed

JaeJoong stopped at the red light and faced me

"You'll understand when you see him"

We parked outside the dorm and I decided to leave my bag in the car since JaeJoong said that he was going to take me home right after.

With shaking legs, a thumping and worried heart, I entered the dorm. The sound from the tv could be heard but other than that, it was.. scarily quiet

I entered the livingroom to see that Changmin had fallen asleep on the couch with Junsu

"Where's.. Yoochun?" I whispered

"School.." JaeJoong said behind me

I stopped down the hall and stared at Yunho's familiar door. Jaejoong stopped as well, waiting for me to take the first step

JaeJoong then suddenly grabbed my hand again and led me down the hallway and we stopped outside Yunho's room. JaeJoong leaned against the door to listen

"He's.. asleep I think" JAeJoong whispered

JAeJoong let go of my hand and opened the door slowly

The room was dark, the windows covered with curtains, hiding the sun light, preventing them from shining in

The room was a big mess

"Yunho.. caused this.. mess.. and we're not.. allowed to.. clean it.." JaeJoong explained as he saw that I was staring at the mess

I looked around in the room and soon I found my love.. on the floor

I covered half of my face as I gasped

He was sitting on the floor, looking through a photoalbum with us two while crying

So he wasn't asleep..

"What.. happened to him?" I whispered frustrated

Yunho looked awful. You could see his beard which he hadn't shave for the past few days. His eyes looked.. lifeless and seems like he had lost the passion for living. The atmosphere seemed so cold.. and his.. bags under his eyes made him look old..

"I told you.. it has gotten all worse.. and seems like it won't get better. He refuses to eat.. or drink.. we kind of .. have to force him" JAeJoong sighed

Then I could hear sobbing

Yunho were crying

"The.. incident.. when we saw you.. having a heartattack nearly killed him.. since.. he kind of.. had flashbacks about Selina's death.. and.. "

I didn't let JaeJoong finish his sentence

Instead, my feet brought my towards him, closer to him and I fell down right next to him as I embraced him from behind

While crying I leaned onto his back

"Yunho.. don't be like this" I sobbed

"Hyung.. What's.."

I could hear Changmin talk but soon he quieten as he saw me..

"Yunho.. please.."

I let go of Yunho and crawled my way in front of him and forced him to look at me

He was looking but not really seeing. His eyes were somewhere else.. as well as his mind

His face.. was screwed up, looking all tired.. Like he had been tortured

I couldn't see him like this. Inside of me, I felt something breaking. Felt like I could hear it as well

My heart was breaking.. like a glass that had fallen to the floor

I could hear the heart splatter into pieces and it didn't stop

"Yunho.." I whispered while looking at him, holding his face between my hands.

He didn't react

"LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I shouted

Finally a reaction could be seen from yunho's side and his eyes widened as he saw me

"You.." He said

I leaned forward and hugged him again as I was crying

"Don't be like this Yunho... Don't be please.."

I soon felt his arms wrap around me and pulled me closer to him

SooN i felt him crying onto my shoulder as well...

"Yuki.. you're.. alright.." He whispered

SooN i felt a pair of arms pull me away from Yunho and Jaejoong took me in his arms as Junsu and Changmin took Yunho up on the bed

JaeJoong took me outside as Changmin and Junsu took care of Yunho

In the livingroom JaeJoong looked a me and then pulled me into a hug, hugging me tightly

"Thank you.." He whispered

"For.. what?" I whispered

"This.. is the first time he's speaking to anyone ever since.. you got your heartattack" JaeJoong said

I didn't say anything but I soon responded his hug

"Because of you.. he's talking again.."

I shook my head in frustration and hugged JaeJoong tighter

"It's because of me.. he's like this.."

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Nyaikou
#1
Loved this story when I first read it 8 years ago on Winglin and I'm glad you kept it on here for more people ❤️?
Angelz0715 #2
Chapter 68: OMG this story is so amazing!!! I keep crying while reading this story!! This seriously need to be feature!!!
HyunJane #3
Chapter 68: it's really good~ i just hope this story will be featured! can you give me soft copies? i really like it! it made me cry , laugh etc.... it's not just fanfiction~ it can give you the TRUE meaning of life~ even some parts are fiction~ but it's still good~ i'm really crying promise! i'm not lying~
wilnikki
#4
This story is really amazing. I read it one day straight. The tree covered in dew was on replay while I was reading the last part and it made me teary eyed on their final moment on the bridge to Jaejoong dying.. a really really good story, thank you very much!!!
yunjae78 #5
Chapter 68: PERFECT! I LOVE THIS STORY!! ♥♥♥
whateveritis #6
always here!! next to you
koreankendi #7
In AWE!!!
Breathtaking! Beautiful!!!
clinaoh
#8
Amazing story <3