It had all been a joke. I'd thought I had finally found the one person who I could trust but it had all been a lie. I told him everything, even my deepest secrets only to find out that he had told everyone. I guess I'm glad that I didn’t tell him about my problem —the problem why even my own parents didn’t love me. 

My parents used to love me, I think. I still have pictures of birthday parties and family dinners where my parents looked happy. My father had always been a heavy man—he was tall and his frame was big. My mother looked tiny compared to him. My mother was the perfect wife, never going against or disobeying my father.  

It was on my eight birthday when we found out that I was not as normal as people believed me to be. I had some sort of mutation that caused my body to have both male and female reproductive organs; a hermaphrodite. I can still remember how the doctor told my father. The doctor looked both excited and amazed but my father just looked at me in disgust —that was the last time my father addressed me as his son.

Even though I was not physically abused, the verbal abuse was enough to hurt me. I was not allowed to eat with them, I couldn’t bring friends over and I was not allowed to say they were my parents. They were ashamed I was their son and so they tried again.  They conceived my little sister and she did turn out normal. Little by little they forgot about me and was easily replaced no one really cared.

High school had been tough. All those people are easily misunderstood and always tried to fit it. They all wanted to have a taste of popularity. My first three years I was just in the background doing my best to get good grades, after all, my father told me he was not going to pay for my school once I graduated. Because of that, I was label as a nerd, geek, a nobody. It didn’t affect me.

My final year of high school I met Sehun. It was unusual for someone as popular to sit with me in the library. I tried to resist.  Little by little, we began talking. We talked during the lunch period and he told me things I didn’t know. Things I thought were true. He had told me how his parents abused him. How his life didn’t make sense. I tried my best to motivate him about not giving up. He laughed and thanked me. I thought we were friends. 

I didn’t really have friends. People tended to avoid me for a reason that I was still unaware. Our friendship grew and sometimes he would invite me to his soccer games. In one of the games, he kissed me. It had been the most wonderful feeling. I felt loved and wanted. Nothing else matter because someone finally liked me.

It continued for a month or so, kissing in the library and after his soccer practices. He would buy me things like chocolate, flowers and cards. It was perfect. I guess I wasn’t really thinking because we ended up having . It had been amazing, he made sure I was not hurt and stay with me afterwards. 

It was almost the end of the year and I would soon graduate but the encounters with Sehun continue. He made me feel alive and worthy. It was two weeks before our graduation that I found out that it all had been a senior prank and a bet.  It was during one of those award ceremonies that his friends congratulated him on the bet he had won. The whole school was aware of the bet and I couldn’t breathe. 

“He actually thinks Sehun loves him. Can you guys believe it? If his parents can’t even love him, why would Sehun loved him. “

He broke my heart and reminded me that no one should be trusted. I somehow made it through the last two weeks of school.  Everyone pointed at me and laughed, they didn’t bother to do it behind my back they would just do it in front of me. During graduation, I picked up my diploma and left. I remember how Sehun tried to talk to me when his parents were hugging him, but I didn’t want to talk to anyone from this hell hole. 

My parents had made it clear that once I graduated I had to leave. My bags were already packed and I left. I didn’t intend to come back ever.  I had thought about suicide, no one cared if I was alive or not, so it didn’t matter if I die today or in thirty years from now, but I decided against it. I had gotten a full scholarship to one of those small schools that everyone ignored when they applied for college. It was perfect. No one would know me and judge me for my mistakes. 

The first two months had been wonderful. The professors were nice and worried about me unlike everyone else. It had been the best months of my life.  My grades were good and I planned to keep them that way.  It was during midterms that I found out about my pregnancy. Honestly, I always thought my parents were kidding about that. I was a freak of nature. It was unnatural. I wanted to have an abortion to get rid of it. 

I couldn’t do it. I walked from office feeling guilty for even thinking that. I still had to worry about school and my grades, but a child would complicate everything. I talked to my biology professor first. He didn’t believe me, but afterwards he did. He told me not to worry about anything that he would take care of it. He was still a young professor and understood me better. 

As the pregnancy prolong I was asked to leave the dorms. There were rules about pregnancies in the student handbook.  My biology professor, Dr. Lee, took me in.  I was embarrassed over all the troubles I had cause him and his partner, Dr. Cho, the calculus professor.  

By the time, I finished my first year I was almost ready to give birth. I had found a job and started to save some money, the hospital was going to be expensive and all those things my son would need were going to be expensive as well. I had found a small apartment and the rent was not as expensive, so I moved there. Dr. Lee was still checking on me, making sure I was healthy. 

The day I gave birth to my son was the most wonderful day and nothing would ever compete with it. It all made sense now. He was the reason why I had to try harder to give him everything he needed. To love him like he was supposed to be loved.  We didn’t need anyone else just each other.

It had been hard, but we both made it. I graduated with a bachelors of science in chemistry and my son was already three years old.  Our living conditions improved once I found a job with a good salary. Dr. Lee and Dr. Cho were his godparents and I wished I had someone like them while I was growing up.  My son was the reason that I lived and my world revolved around him. 

My son name was Baekhyun, he was so beautiful and sometimes I was grateful to Sehun for creating such an amazing little person. Even though I wanted to deny it, I was still in love with him. 

Baekhyun was very bright for his age. He was already reading and his teacher was impressed with him.  Sometimes he would ask me about Sehun, and I told him that he left. I am sure right now Sehun is married with that girl he was dating while he was with me, Krystal. 

The first time I saw him again I tried to hide. Baekhyun was with me and I didn’t want him to know the existence of Baekhyun. He seemed shocked once he spotted me, but I acted like I didn’t recognize him and walked away. Baekhyun had asked who he was and I told him he was someone who had hurt me really bad. 

I guess I was just grateful I didn’t see him anymore. Baekhyun’s fifth birthday was just around the corner and I needed to buy him new clothes.  I made sure Baekhyun was holding my hand tightly and we both walked to the store. He needed new pants and some new shoes. He was still growing and he needed new clothes to accommodate his new height and shoe size. 

“Mom can I get some red shoes, everyone in my class has black or brown and I don’t want to have the same.” He didn’t like looking like the others; he had a great sense of fashion unlike me.

“Of course, sweetheart you can pick whatever you like.”

“Okay, cause I also wanted some pants like Chanyeol’s they were pretty cool.”

We went to the shoe section of the store and started to look for some red shoes. He found some shoes that he liked and we asked the assistance for his size. While we were waiting, Baekhyun was telling me all about his friend Chanyeol, and how he had protected him when someone had made fun of him. I pulled him in my lap and kissed his cheek.

“Mom don’t do that.” He cleaned his cheek with his hand.

“Mom?” I knew that voice but I didn’t want to turn. Maybe if I ignored him he would go away. Baekhyun looked over my shoulder but I pulled him back to where he was before.

“Are you still angry for what happen in high school? I actually wanted to talk to you, but when I went to your house, your father said he didn’t have a son name Luhan.  I guess you were really a compulsive liar, that wasn’t your house. All the things you told me were lies.”

The worker came back and gave me the box of shoes and I took it to the registers. 

“Mom what about the pants?”

“That can wait sweetheart.”

Sehun was still following us and I wanted him gone. I didn’t want to be near him. He was accusing me of lying when he was the one who build our relationship over lies. 

“You are really sick making him call you mom. You are twisted person.” I tried to fight the tears that were threatening to come out but it was useless. 

“Why are you crying mom? Don’t cry. I don’t like it when you cry.” He used his small hands and cleaned my face. He kissed my cheeks and I was grateful of having him in my life.

We left the store and thankfully, Sehun didn’t follow. Why was he here? Last time I checked he lived in Seoul, not here. 

I had been invited to one of those work related dinners. Sungmin and Kyuhyun had also been invited, so I had to take Baekhyun with me. I dress him in his cute little outfit and he looked adorable. 

The dinner was okay, but I could see how Baekhyun was already falling asleep. I told Sungmin and Kyuhyun that I was going to go home already and that I was going to take a taxi. They told me to be careful and I walked out of the restaurant. Baekhyun was already asleep in my arms and I waited for the taxi to arrive.

“Luhan honey it’s that you?”  I tried to ignore her, after all that is what she had done with me. 

“Luhan why do you have a child in your arms? Please don’t tell me you got pregnant.”  She didn’t need to know anything. 

More people arrived in the waiting area and I just wanted the taxi to get here. I spotted my father walking with Sehun and I wanted to run away, but it had started raining and it was too late to be walking around with my son.

I tried to ignore all those people who had cause great pain in my life, but it was useless. My mother kept pressing the issue. 

“Luhan I am sorry. Please stop ignoring me. You don’t know how many times I wanted to call you and make sure you were okay, but I didn’t even know where you were. You disappeared from our lives. Your little sister needs her older brother. What happen it’s on the past. Please son look at me.” I know she was crying, but it didn’t really affect me. I had my son to take care of. She had fifteen years to try to safe our bond, but she stayed quite all that time. I didn’t need her anymore. 

Baekhyun stirred and moved around and I hoped he wouldn’t get up. My mother kept crying and my father finally got to her side along with Sehun. Why was he even doing there? Why was he with my father?

“What’s wrong, why are you crying?”

“It’s him, its Luhan.”

Finally, the taxi arrived and I got in and locked the door. My dad was pounding on the window and I told the driver to drop me off in the university. I walked the remaining distance making sure I kept Baekhyun dry, I knew the power my father had and he would probably hunt me down. 

Maybe I should just leave go somewhere else, China, United States, or Japan all seemed a better place than here. They hurt me and I am sure they would also hurt my son. I arrived home and changed Baekhyun.  Baekhyun was the reason my life had become better and I didn’t want anyone to disturb our peace.

Sehun found out where I lived and when we arrived home from the store, he was already waiting for us. Unlike the other times, he looked different. I picked up Baekhyun and walked to the door.

“Luhan we need to talk.”

“There is nothing to talk about now leave or I will call the police.” I opened the door and I tried to close it but Sehun force himself in, closing the door behind him. 

“He is my son is he?”

“He is not your son, now leave or I will call the police.” I walked towards my room and locked the door. Baekhyun was looking at me confused.

“Who is he mom?”

“He is no one sweetheart.” 

I picked up my phone and called the police. A few minutes later, they arrived and Sehun was escorted away. I had to move to a different house. I had found out a house in a different street and moved there. I didn’t want Sehun to find us again, but I was sure he was going to find us again. It didn’t take long before he eventually found us. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Last time I checked you told me never to contact you. Don’t blame me for your mistakes. Now leave. I don’t want you here, my son doesn’t need you. I am more than enough for him.”

“He needs me! I am his father. I also have rights. I will not go until you let me see him. I want to be part of his life. You have excluded me from him for almost six years!”

I walked towards him a slap him hard. “How dare you blame for your immatureness! I was the one struggling with school, my son, and work! I was just a good laid to you! You had me fool thinking you actually cared for me! MY son doesn’t need you!”

He grabbed me and pushed me towards the wall. “I was in high school Luhan! I was indeed immature, but if you had told me, I would have taken responsibility.  I would have married you and raised our son together.”

“I don’t want your ing pity! Why would I want to marry you and raised my son with you when you hurt me? You can’t even can imagine the pain I felt when you did what you did. Now leave I don’t want you. We don’t need you!”

He punched the wall next to my head and made a hole in the wall. “I am sorry okay. I am so sorry. We all thought that you were just faking all the you told me about how your parents treated you.  I didn’t know it was all true. It was just a bet, a joke. You weren’t supposed to get pregnant. You are a boy! Boys don’t get pregnant!”

“Thanks for telling me what I always knew. I know I am not supposed to get pregnant! You weren’t there when I was debating whether to have an abortion or when I wanted to kill myself. All that it matter was that you got your ing money! So leave, stop hurting me!” I sobbed loudly and Baekhyun walked out of his room towards me and pushed Sehun away.

“Stop hurting my mom. Leave, my mom doesn’t want you here.” He walked towards me and hugged my legs. I picked him up and hugged him. He looked hurt and torn and he started crying.

“Luhan please don’t do this. I am sorry but don’t do this. I want to be in his life.” I walked towards the door and opened it. He walked out of the house and I locked the door.

“Who was that mom?”

“That was your father sweetheart.” His little eyes widened and I kissed his forehead.

There was an opening on my job in China and I took it. I packed all our stuff and left. I gave Sungmin my contact information and promised to keep contact. I needed a break from all this. I had been having nightmares over Sehun taking Baekhyun away and I fear they would become true. My mother tried to contact me as well, but I changed my number.

China was everything we needed. It was big and confusing. It would make it harder to find us with the amount of people who lived here.  Baekhyun’s Chinese was cute, I knew he was struggling and maybe I had not made a good choice for both of us. I was Chinese, I knew the language, but Baekhyun was Korean and knew Korean.

I had decided that maybe coming here was not such a good choice after all.  I asked my boss about moving back to Korea and he said that there was an opening in Korea. I packed everything once again and made rearrangements to go back home.

“Are you sure mom? Are we going to be able to go back home? Will I see Chanyeol again?” 

“Yes honey. I am sorry I made you moved here. “

“It’s okay mom. It was hard, but nothing I could handle.”

The doorbell rang and I asked Baekhyun to let the helpers in the house. They were running late and we still needed to send this home. I picked a box and took it to the front. Once I noticed who it was, I dropped it and pulled Baekhyun towards me.

“You left again. For how long are you going to keep doing this? I went back to your house to apologize only to find out you didn’t live there anymore. It took a year to find you once again and now you are leaving again. I want to be part of Baekhyun’s life.”

“So do you think it’s going to be that easy? Assume we are just going to forgive you and live happily ever after. I don’t know how you imagine the future, but you are not part of ours.”

“Marry me Luhan?” He pulled a ring out his pocket and tried to give it to me.

“Seriously Sehun how dumb do you think I am? What makes you believe I will marry you?  Do you even fathom what you did to me? What makes you believe I will fall for it once again?”

“You are seriously stupid because I am being honest here. I realized that what I did was horrible, but I like you Luhan and I was ashamed to tell you the real reason I started to talk to you in the beginning. They didn’t even know I had with you, the bet was to kiss you and I did. The was real. There was no faking that up. I liked you. I tried to look for you but I didn’t even know where you lived. I tried to move on and find someone else, but all I could think was you. When you mother told me about your problem and how you could get pregnant it all made sense, why that child in the store addressed you as mom and how he looked like me.”

He looked at us, shifting his eyes between Baekhyun then to me.  Does he honestly believe I will forgive him just like that for a stupid excused like that?  Even Baekhyun was able to give better excuses.

“Get out.”

“No, we can do this in good terms or things will get ugly Luhan. I am not afraid of taking him Luhan. I am giving you the choice to marry me. I was in love with you and I am pretty sure I still have feelings for you, we can work things out.”

“I don’t want to go with you if you are going to keep hurting my mom. I am able to understand I am almost seven. I don’t want to go with you.” I had almost forgotten Baekhyun was here as well. Sehun looked at him shocked and glared at me.

“You put him against me! Expect my lawyer to contact you.” I was not sure if Sehun had left or if he was calling his lawyer to harass me.

“Sweetheart you didn’t have to be like that. This was a conversation between your father and I.”

“Well, he was being mean mom. If he is my father, he should know that I don’t want to be away from you. I love you.”

“I love you too sweetheart. Now let’s keep packing.”

His lawyer did end up contacting once we settle down in our new house.  It seemed Sehun did want to take my baby away from me.  I knew that Sehun did have certain right to my son, but I just didn’t trust him with my baby. I had to go to court and settle down this business.  

He tried to call me but I was always busy handling my son, house duties, work and now gathering evidence for court.  Baekhyun had just gone to bed and I still needed to clean the house. We had been busy unpacking and moving furniture that we didn’t have enough time to go out. 

I was about to go to bed when the doorbell rang. I got out of my room and made my way to the door and open it.

“Well, at least you aren’t pretending you aren’t home.”

“What do you want I am tired and I want to go to bed?”

I let him in and he sat down in the couch opening the button of his coat. His eyes were looking at me and it made me feel insecure. I was wearing a loose white shirt with some shorts while he was wearing an expensive looking suit.

“Have you received the letter from my lawyer?” I nodded. “You do know that you might lose and Baekhyun would be turn to me?” 

“What makes you so sure you are going to win?” He got up and walked towards me. He was way to close and I tried to take some steps backwards, but my back hit the wall. He pressed his body against mine and I tried to push him away.

“You are still so beautiful. You haven’t aged at all.” I pushed him away, but he was stronger than I was.

“I thought you were here to talk, but since you are not, leave. I have to wake up early for work.” He grabbed my face and pushed his lips against mine. I tried to resist but eventually I gave in, he always had that power over me. He grabbed onto my leg and anchored it to his hip doing the same thing to the other. 

We somehow made it to my room and clothes flew out to the floor. The bed frame hit the wall with every he made. Our bodies were closed together and moans were exchanged between us.  I had not been in relationship since I found out about Baekhyun so I was very sensitive.  He continued to for a while until he finished as well. My body was sore and I felled asleep.

I woke up feeling ty. I knew what had happened, what I had let happen. I thought I had some strength and was able to resist him, but I didn’t. I slowly got up and made my way towards Baekhyun’s room.  He was still asleep. I kissed his forehead and let him sleep.  It was Saturday and he didn’t have to go to school and I am sure I was not able to go to work, my body felt as if it was torn apart.  I tried to stop crying, but everything came back. How I had been used. I could not believe I had let him do the same thing. He was probably laughing along his friends saying he had done it again.

“Why are you crying? I left you for a few minutes to get breakfast and you are already crying?”

“What are you doing here?”

“I thought we were okay now, since what happen yesterday. I have contacted my lawyer and I had dropped the lawsuit. We can start again Luhan. I know it’s going to be hard, but give me chance. I promise you will not regret it.” He got in bed with me and hugged until I stopped crying. “We are both older. We can work this like adults. I know what I did was ty and maybe pushing you to have with me wasn’t the best choice, but I didn’t know what to do. I was running out of options. You can take your time. We will start as friends once again and move along until you become my wife.”

Even though I wanted to argue and tell him that I would never allow that to happen, but I was in love with him. The past feelings had resurfaced with the past events. His touches and his kisses were one of the many things I had missed.

“Leave.”

“Luhan please we can work this out.”

“No, I meant I need to take a bath I feel dirty.”

He reluctantly left the room and I took a shower. I was still angry with Sehun, but at the same time, I wanted him here.  I took a quick shower and walked towards the kitchen. He was sitting in one of the chairs from the table. Baekhyun was still sleeping.

“Can we talk now?” I nodded and sat next to him.

“Are you willing to give me a chance? I know that I don’t deserve it but I want to be able to see and meet my son. I want to be able to know him. Not only that, but I want to be part of your life as well. I understand that you hate my guts, but give me a chance Luhan I can make you happy.”

“I will not give you a chance.” He tried to interrupt me, but I stopped him. “You will have a chance to meet Baekhyun, but I have to be there. We have a son in common, but that is it. I don’t trust you with my heart anymore.”

“But what about us Luhan?”

“There is no us. I repeat it again, we have a son in common that is it.”

He took didn’t talk for a while, after a few minutes he spoke again. “We have more than a son in common Luhan. I will not give up.”

Baekhyun enter the kitchen. His hair all over that place. He was still half-asleep, so he didn’t notice Sehun was here as well. I served him his breakfast and he ate cutely chewing his food excessively. 

“Baek, baby,” I tried to get his attention and once he looked up from his plate, he saw Sehun. “This is Sehun, he is your father.”

I didn’t even notice when Sehun had gotten up from the table and scoped Baekhyun from his chair. He was hugging him and when he turned, I could see he was crying. Baekhyun was confused. Once Sehun let him go he sat back on his chair.

“You made my mommy cry.”

“I know son, I know, but trust me I won’t do it again. I love your mommy. If he allows it and forgives me, I want to him to be my legal spouse.”

“What’s a legal spouse?”

“It means that your mother will be forever with me.”

Baekhyun pouted and looked at me. Then he went back to his breakfast. Sehun stay for a few hours and left after he hugged Baekhyun and asked me for my phone number.

Sehun became a regular in our household. He took the chance to try to make our relationship somewhat better, but even if I loved him I was afraid. Afraid of crashing down after he once again decided to hurt me.

I should have know. I should have prevented it. I knew about the chances, but it slipped my mind. Sehun hadn’t use a . And after sleepless nights I finally remember. I hadn’t taken the pill after. So, when Baekhyun and I went to buy groceries I bought a pregnancy test. The cashier made a comment about my current girlfriend’s dilemma. If she would have know that it was for me she would have never believe me.

Baekhyun had gotten used to Sehun and when he couldn’t come Baekhyun would sulk. I had even given him a key and he had room here, just in case he came in too late and would wake us up when he started knocking. Today was just one of those days that Sehun wasn’t able to come.

With shaky hands I looked at the result in my hands. I was angry with myself. How could I let this slip? How was I going to handle the pressure again? Sehun might be here, but I couldn’t depend on him. What if he left again? I had brought this on myself. If I had been smart about this, I wouldn’t be in this situation. I thew away the test and headed to bed.

Things never go the way you plan. Sehun had started to act weird. He didn’t come that much anymore and Baekhyun was hurt by his cold attitude. He even missed Baekhyun’s eight birthday and that had made my son so sad. Even though it was his birthday he spent the majority of the time looking out the window. 

So, I called him, but when his phone was answered no one reply. The only thing I could hear was sounds coming from the other line. I recognized one of the voices, it was impossible to make a mistake, it was Sehun. While the other was from a female. I don’t know why I hurt myself further by listing until both finished. I hanged up when I heard Sehun tell her he loved her. 

It hurt. But I knew it already. Sehun will never love me. I was just the person who warmed his bed, nothing more. As much as I would like to let my pain take over I couldn’t. Like it or not I couldn’t prohibit Sehun from seeing Baekhyun. 

But then I started to show. Everyone noticed, except him. But how he could, he rarely visited us. Then one day he showed up with a girl on his arm. When she spoke I recognized her voice. It was her. The person who was lucky to be loved by Sehun.

Maybe it had been my fault. If I hadn’t be so pride-full I could have been on Sehun’s arm. 

Then everything made sense. The reason why he rarely visited was because he was busy taking care of his pregnant girlfriend. It hurt, because I was also pregnant, but I wasn’t worthy of his love and care.

But when Sehun excused himself to go into Baekhyun’s room she confronted me. She told me to leave. That Baekhyun and I were extra luggage in her relationship with Sehun. Than in less than a month, Baekhyun wasn’t going to be important. And she was right. If she was pregnant, that was going to happen.        

So after they left, I reflected on my life. I could run away like the coward I was or I could stay here and see how life treated us.

I couldn’t make Baekhyun moved again. That would have been cruel, so we stay. 

She had been right, after a while Sehun stopped visiting. Baekhyun had been hurt and would cry and beg me to call him, but when I did, I never could reach him. 

Just like that a few months passed and still nothing. Baekhyun would still hold on to that tiny hope that his father would remember him.

When I was seven months pregnant I met someone. We made eye contact and I bashfully turned away. He was handsome, but that was as far it would go. He looked and acted really cold, but whenever we would hold a conversation he would not act like that. He reminded me so much of Sehun and maybe that is why I didn’t want anything with him. I couldn’t replace Sehun with someone how was somehow the same. So he left. I guess he grew tired of begging, but I only had one man that will ever hold my heart. My Baekhyun.

Giving birth once again hurt. I had to stay in bed rest for almost a week, but I still had to take care of Baekhyun. I was tired, but for my kids I would do everything.

It was a girl and she honestly was so beautiful. My little girl was going to be a heartbreaker. I would make sure that she had everything she needed. Baekhyun loved her and would stare at her for long periods of time. I guess she got us both so mesmerized. My little Haneul.

We moved one last time. We needed more space and my house wasn’t big enough for us. I tried to contact Sehun, but when I did he told me he had to take care of his girlfriend. I broke down crying after that, but I swore I would never again cry again because of him. 

Fate really like playing games with us. We met again just a few months after I gave birth. When he looked at Haneul he connected the dots and was so confused. I managed slipped away before he started asking questions, but just like always he found us again. 

“Explain and you better have a good ing reason because I swear I will ing hurt you!”

“What is there to explain Sehun?” I asked.

“You ing did it again! You didn’t tell me! And I wanted to be there.”

“It would have been impossible Sehun. You are married and have a child with her, just forget us. Like you have forgotten about Baekhyun. I will not let you hurt her like you hurt him.”

“You could have told me and I would have left everything for you!”

“Its too late Sehun. I don’t want to see you here anymore. My lawyer will contact you soon regarding the full custody.”

He started crying, but his anger was still so evident. “ you Luhan you are so ing heartless. You stole my illusion on being there when my child was born.”

“Didn’t your wife let you see it?”

“She lost it.” He said. “We were in a car accident and she suffer a miscarriage.”

“I am sorry to hear that, but I need to feed the kids.” I closed the door and didn’t let him finish. He knocked on the door, but I didn’t open the door. 

He came everyday hoping to see her and Baekhyun. Baekhyun was kid and like any other kid he had sensitive emotions, so when he saw him he cried. He was crying and hugging Sehun asking him why he left and if he had done something wrong to make him leave.

Sehun reassure him that he was a good boy, he never did nothing wrong and it was his fault. That he was a bad father and an idiot. Haneul’s cries interrupted the touching moment and I excused myself to see what was wrong with her. 

I carried her and didn’t noticed that Sehun had follow me. He looked at her as if she was going to break any second. He was still crying while he looked at her. I know he had rights. He was her father after all and maybe when she was older she would held it against me if I prohibited him from seeing her.

“Can I carry her?” I looked at her and at Sehun.

“Just— Just be careful and hold her head.” I passed her my daughter and watched as he took her in his arm and rocked her lightly.

“She is so beautiful.” He whispered as he watched her fret in his arms. She didn’t know him and she started to cry again. I took her away and calmed her down, she was hungry.

While Baekhyun and I ate, he only looked at us. He was hurt. He disappear from our lives and didn’t care about our feelings. He should have know that Haneul was going to be conceive, we ed. It was basic science. 

Once Baekhyun left to go to bed. Sehun told me we needed to talk. 

“You can’t be doing this to me Luhan. If you end up pregnant you need to tell me. I wanted to see every detail of your pregnancy. I wanted to met my daughter when she was a little pea. I wanted to be there Luhan. I can’t only take so much Luhan. You know that I actually would have left everything for you. I love you and I am positive you love me back.”

“Its easy to say those things Sehun. Let's be real here, you wouldn't have left anything. She was pregnant too. She had an innocent child that didn't deserved this Sehun. We don’t work Sehun. We have tried, but I think we aren’t capable of having a relationship. I won’t lie to you Sehun. I love you and I have for the longest time, but we don’t work.”

“Then lets try to work it out. For our kids.”

“I don’t know Sehun. I don’t think we can.”

“We can Luhan. We will be the best parents.”

“What about your wife? I will not be your mistress.”

“I was never married Luhan. We had the accident before our wedding. I though that it was going to hurt, but there was no pain. It didn’t even hurt. I mean I felt sorry for her, but that was it. I help her get back on her feet, but when we tried to conceived again I couldn’t even get it done.”

I looked at him and let out a big sigh. “That doesn’t mean you are going to stay here. What if one day you decided that this, whatever this is, doesn’t appeal to you. You already broke Baekhyun’s heart once and if you do it once again I swear I will never, never forgive you and that will be the last time you will ever see us.”

He got up from the chair and kneeled in front of me. He took my hands in his and looked at me. “Luhan please give me a chance? I will promise I will make you all happy. I will provide for all of you. You don’t even have to work. I love you Luhan and I promise I will make you happy.”

I don’t even know if I should give him a chance. All I know is that I love him. I am crazily in love with him even though he broke my heart too many times. What if he was actually sincere and I turned him down and I regretted years from now?

“I swear Sehun if you hurt me again you will never see me again.” That is all it took for him to kiss me. It was fast, but I needed some affection too. I felt lonely. I eventually pushed him away and he looked at me.

“I swear I will make you so happy.” He said grinning.

“What are you thinking? You should got to bed or you might get sick.” I pulled my bathrobe tighter on my body and turned to look at Sehun.

“Just thinking.”  He wrapped his arms around my wide figure and kissed my neck.

“I am sorry. I hurt you before Luhan.” How could he read me like that?

“Its in the past, but sometimes it comes back and it hits me full force and it makes me sad. I don’t even know why.”  I told him.

“Its the hormones my love and my fault, but I promise this time will be different. We have lost many years, but I wont let this be the same. I will stay with you until the end of time.”

A/N Told you it . I at grammar too. Also, I have a bunch of one-shots that are sort of stupid. Would you all read those?