Sometimes there are no short cuts in life, there is no easy way out of something, sometimes all you can do is face the music, and hope you either float or sink.

The four corners of the room felt like a prison to her as she sat still, patiently waiting for her lawyer to finish speaking to the prosecution.

This was so wrong in Jinah’s mind. Everything felt wrong. Though she didn’t have the best relationship with her mother, Jinah knew her mother was innocent. It was self defense. She was there, she saw, and she was willing to testify for her mother if this ever reached court, which she highly doubt would.

 Apparently for Jinah though her mother had hit the lottery with that man, the man whose face was now tattooed in Jinah’s mind as she watched his last moments of life.

His wife, no, his widow was throwing a huge fit outside, screaming and yelling, and Jinah didn’t blame the widow for her actions. Many others would react the same way.

She was rich and that meant money, and though Jinah and her mother had money, Jinah’s father had left a large sum of money for her after he died, she could only access it once she reached of age, which was in a month, they had nothing compare to the widow.

“Miss Han.” The lawyer stated, walking back into the room. Jinah turned towards the lawyer. “I talked to your mother. She refuses to let you give your statement.” He stated and Jinah had to bit her lower lip to keep her jaw from dropping.

“What?” She asked, shocked by her mother’s request.

“As your legal guardian she has rights to-“

“She didn’t do anything wrong.” Jinah fought.

“The widow seems to think otherwise. Were you aware of the fact that your mother had been threatening this man for weeks now?” He asked, adding another bombshell to Jinah’s life.

“…What? No, that can’t be.” She rebutted.

“The widow has evidence, voicemail messages, letters, and such. This can be used against your mother in court.” He revealed and Jinah completely lost breath. Her insides twisted in pain and she felt her breathing get heavy and unsteady.

“Court?”

“Yes, court…” He continued speaking, giving Jinah the overview of what was to happen next, but she completely blocked him out. Her inner thoughts were louder than his speaking, and more frightening as they created the worst outcomes.

One thing about girls is that they are thinkers, losing themselves in their minds, their fantasies, and before you know it, a whole new universe he popped up in their heads. Sometimes they were the architects to their own worst nightmares. 

“ Miss Han?” The lawyer asked noticing that the girl was lost in her thoughts.

“Can I speak to my mother?” Jinah requested and the lawyer nodded.

-----

“Do you need me to go with you?” Baekhyun asked.

“No.”

“Are you going to tell me where you’re going?”

“No.”

“Will you be okay?”

No, “Yes.”

“You’re a liar.”

I know. “Good bye Baek.” She needed to end the conversation or she’ll never let go.

He didn’t stop her. Jinah walked down the road, the melting snow made her step slowly and carefully, but the small puddles from the snow were nothing compared to all the nails she had walked on before.

“Come home afterwards.” He yelled as he watched her walk away, Soojin was standing behind him, her worried eyes followed Jinah just as Baekhyun’s did.

Jinah wasn’t as concern about the fact that Soojin was always with Baekhyun during Jinah’s two day stay at the Byun residence. In fact, Jinah found it comforting to have both of her friends there trying to keep her mind off her mother. The memories of her last conversation with her mother two days ago replayed in her mind.

Her mother was being held in prison, and Jinah thought it was ridiculous. Her mother was innocent she had said over and over again, but with the evidence piling over her mother, it was difficult when you were just a teenage girl fighting against the system.

“Don’t you dare say it Jinah. We both know I did nothing wrong. Nothing happened, you don’t know anything.” She commented.

“Mother, I know. You didn’t do anything. You hit him be-” She saw her mother’s eyes shot forward like a fearful tigress

“I didn’t hit him.” Her mother cut in, her voice sharp and heavy. The dark bags underneath her mother’s eyes were visible along with the evident pale skin and tired frame.

“You did, to protect-“

“I didn’t hit him. You grabbed him remember. You hit him.” He mother argued back leaving Jinah astonished by this revelation her mother had thought up.

“He hit me.” Jinah fought back not only tears but memories of that awful scene.  

“Don’t you think I didn’t see. You stood there and did nothing. Please, you were probably thinking if you should let him kill me or if you should help. When you did however, he hit him, you killed him.” She cursed. Jinah frowned inwardly. Even now when her mother was in this horrible situation she was putting the blame on her daughter.

Jinah was here to tell her mother she supported her, to tell her mother she did nothing wrong. Jinah was going to be the kind daughter and support her mother all the way though. Her mother thought otherwise.

“I’m so disappointed in you.” Her mother hissed and those were the words no child wanted to hear from their parents. The five words that strung down to a child’s core. Maybe that was the knife that finally broken the carefully placed stings inside of Jinah, the exact stings that held her perfect façade together.

For once in her life, she spoke back.

“You’re right mother.” Jinah responded softly. “I am a disappointment. Not just to you, but to myself. I’m a selfish child who only sees the ugliness in the world. I take what I have for granted, I neglect everything that matters. I love infecting pain upon myself, I’m a masochist. That’s why you hate me. I’m a disappointment to you mother….” Jinah hissed.

“…But you know what mother, as much as you hate me….nothing will happen to you.” Jinah confirmed shocking her mother and a little bit of herself. She saw too much of herself in her mother. So despite everything that her mother messed up on, despite all the pain, Jinah was going to be the better person.

She felt tears wet her cheeks as she stepped closer to her mother who stared at her with shocked, wide eyes. “I’ll protect you, like you should have protected me.” She spoke softly but her words were laced with so much strength.

She decided to finish her statement with the one thing that’s been drilling at her this whole time, “As much as you hate me mom…this ungrateful daughter, she will always love you.”

She stood up her from her seat and walked away, but right before she closed the door however she heard half a whisper. She heard her mother say something that she had never heard before. 

She didn’t turn around to confirm if her mother said these words however.

“Hey.” Jinah whispered softly staring at the gravestone in front of her. “Um, I know it’s been a while, but I needed to get away.” She spoke softly. It was completely quiet, only the soft wind could be held. Her boots were soaked and the ground underneath her was half muddy, half icy.

“Winter is ending.” She said, trying to sound happy, because Jinah hated winter. “Spring was supposed to be the time of growing, of change, but why is it that I’m forever stuck here, bound to live in hell day in and day out?” She questioned.

“I’ve been staying at Baek’s place. I guess we both need it. His parents had been trying to be put a front in front of me, trying to pretend their problems don’t exist and that they’re not currently filing a divorce. Guess knowing that your son’s bestfriend’s mother is in jail really makes you think, huh.” Jinah stated staring at the tombstone in front of her. She knew it couldn’t respond back, but this was the only place where she could speak to her father.

“Then why am I complaining about Baek and his family when mother has been in jail for a three days now? Why is it that I can still get up in the morning and act like everything’s okay when it’s clearly not? Why can I go to school and learn knowing she’s rotting in prison? That makes me extremely heartless doesn’t it?” Jinah spoke while running her cold fingers through her messy, un-brush hair.

“You know sometimes, no, all the time, I wished you still here. Then maybe things will be different. Maybe life will be better, maybe all the bad things that happen will stop. Maybe we’ll be happier, maybe we won’t be in this situation. Because it’s horrible daddy, because I miss you, I miss you so much.”

Jinah exhaled deeply and clasped her frozen, gloveless fingers together. “I know you’re up there in Heaven watching down on me, so please watch over me because what I’m going to do next is really difficult. So watch over me as I pray that I make it pass this storm.”

-------

Not a lot of Baekhyun in this chapter, but I promise they'll be more Baekhyun in the next chapter. I mean it, next chapter is entirely Jinah and Baekhyun based mix with some angst. I am not and do not claim to know entirely how law enforcement works so the scene with the lawyers and Jinah as well as her mother's stay in prison are not entirely accurate.

This chapter was relatively difficult to write and I rewrote at over and over again, hence almost one month since the last update, and I'm still disappointed because I feel like I'm not able to capture the essence of the characters. Oh well. Until next time.