"We were here for my birthday." Jinah stated as she and Baekhyun sat down on the familiar swing set. "It was right before I left." Jinah remembered. Those days felt like a lifetime ago. Jinah had experienced so much since then, she has learned so much, gained so much, and at the same time lost so much. 

"I remember. I remember that day."Baekhyun responsed. Jinah remembered that day too. She couldn't forget that day no matter how much she tried. Sometimes you have those days that no matter what you can't forget them, they remain and last in your memories. They steal a small spot in your mind for you to reference back to in future days. 

The two swung on those sings, side by side, just as they always had since they both could remember. It had been exactly three months since Jinah had made her return back to Seoul. it was quite the transition but after some time she finally transition into being here. She had her own flat, it was warm and comfy and safe. It was everything she always wanted in a home. 

"Luhan's been pestering me." Baekhyun said quietly. Jinah only smirked in return. Finally. She knew that Baekhyun had been keeping something from her. She could tell it was bothering him. If you have known someone for your entire life you pick up a few character traits along the way. She waited for Baekhyun to continue speaking because she knew he needed to get it off his chest.

"When he came back from his honeymoon a few weeks ago he brought it up. I just pushed it aside, I mean, I didn't feel like I needed to think about it. I guess after constant pestering it just sort of grew on me and now I don't know what to think, which is horrible because I hate not knowing how I feel when that should be the first thing I know-"

"Baek, you're ranting. Just get to the point. Why is Luhan pestering you?"

Baekhyun slowly turned his head to face Jinah. He looked at her with this piercing glare that she couldn't yet decipher. "Because of you. He's been pestering me because of you. He's been asking me why we aren't together yet. I guess he assumed that once you returned we would become a couple, or whatever he was thinking." Baekhyun revealed. Jinah remained quiet for a really long time.

Baekhyun took her lack of response into consideration before he spoke again, He knew that no response meant that Jinah was too loss in her thoughts to verbally express herself. "I've been in love with you for as long as I could remember. At first I loved you as a friend, then somewhat of a sister. Even before you left I think I loved you as something even more...I just never did anything about my feelings. Luhan knew all of this, he always had."

"It's odd isn't it." Jinah said softly catching Baekhyun by surprise. She smiled softly, her eyes looked like they were thousands of miles away. "It should be the simpliest thing in the world; two people who realize that they love each other should be together, that's the storybook version. That's not reality though..."

"What do you mean?" Baekhyun asked looking away from Jinah.

"I mean, just because two people love each other doesn't always mean they should be together. Love isn't simple like what people think. Sure, people admit that war is crazy, politics is crazy, but love...they don't think love is crazy, but it is."

"The world is crazy Jinah, love is just part of it all. Loving someone else isn't a crime, its needed. Everyone needs it." Baekyun expressed. 

"But thats the thing Baekhyun...its not about loving someone else. It's not about loving a friend, or a sibling, or a parent, or a significant other. It's about loving yourself. I think I've spent my whole life trying to figure out how to love myself. Everytime I look in the mirror all I saw were the imperfections. Everytime I think back, all I remember were the mishaps, mistakes, mishappenings. It's taken so long for me to finally love myself. It's taken us too long to finally love ourselves." Jinah stated and by the time she was done she was out of breath.

"We managed to be without each other all these years because we finally learned to love ourselves. We needed each other all those years ago because we didn't know how to love ourselves, but now we do....Frankly, I love myself too much to be with you now." Jinah added.

"Makes sense. It makes perfectly sense actually." Baekhyun replied with a soft smile. It was the type of smile that said he was expecting that kind of response. "I guess I can say then that Han Jinah....we fell in love with each other at the wrong and right time, we loved each other for the wrong and right reasons, we  in every way possible should be together-"

"But we're not."

"I know." Baekhyun said after that. "But frankly I think I'm okay with that. I still have you at the end of the day. You'll always be my best friend."

"And you'll always be mine."

--

Han Jinah was in the 80s when one of her great grandaughters asked her the question she had been waiting for the last half century for. By that time most of the people she knew while growing up were gone, taken away with the passing of time. 

"Did you ever wondered what it would be like if you married Baekhyun instead?" Her great grandaughter who was in her late teens asked. Jinah could remember how she was at that age. It was a time of conflict, a time of stress, a time of questioning and searching and wondering who you were and what you wanted and where you wanted to go. She saw a part of herself in her great grand daughter. 

"I love your grandfather dear. I truly did love him." Jinah said softly remembering her late husband who she met 50 some years ago. "but Baekhyun..." She started remembering her best friend who by now was no longer with them."I have love Baekhyun my entire life. At one point in my life he was like my oxygen, he was everything i needed and depended on. For as long as I remember I have always love him...but I don't think about what could had been."

"Why not grandmother?"

"Because I don't want to spend my time pondering on the what ifs. I know I was lucky enough to find someone like him. He was my best friend, and though he was never my lover I was content with that. I think after everything we both went through it was better that way. Everybody reaches a time in their life where regardless if they regret it or not they can admit that there were opportunities which passed, chances that were loss, experiences which were wasted. I can admit to all of those. I am content with all of those. I am content with saying that Byun Baekhyun is and will always be my unrequited love."

First of all, thank you to all the readers for sticking it out with me. This story for me was an emotional roller coaster all right. Personally I am one of those readers who wants the two main lead to end up togehter at the end so it came as a shock even to me when they didn't. Honestly though I sort of expected that halfway through the story. It's not always going to be that picture perfect, fairy tale ending you expect. Sometimes you need that unrequited ending, no matter how bittersweet it can be and no matter how it leaves an empty spot in you after you finish reading. 

This story has become my baby and a punching bag to release my emotions through writing, I felt like I have put so much of myself into this story. This story was a lesson about growing up and discovering who you are for me...and hopefully you guys found something to help you too.

Once again thank you for reading.