It was her birthday. Jinah never asked for much, she never thought she deserved much so she was taken aback when Kahi had prepared a cake for her.

She couldn’t hide the smile on her face though when she walked into the familiar café with the kind grandmother who always had her doors open for Jinah.

Luhan was there and he had never smiled to brightly. Baekhyun was there too along with six or seven of Jinah’s other friends.  

There wasn’t anything grant, just a simple cake along with some food and drinks. A stack of presents were awaiting her by the corner table.

“You guys are amazing.” Jinah commented taking a bite of her birthday cake after she blew out the candles. A gentle smile gazed her face.

It had been so long since she’s felt her own smile and only now did she realized how important it was to always find something to smile about. She would hold onto this advice for the years to come.

 “You deserve it.” Kahi said to her patting her on her shoulder. Kahi then gently slipped a small box into Jinah’s hand.

“Soojin brought it for you. She’s not here though. She said it might be awkward if…you know.” Kahi said. Jinah understood as her eyes moved over to Baekhyun who was chatting with Luhan.

Soojin wasn’t here because it would be awkward to be here because of Baekhyun. They had only broken up around a week ago and both needed the space.

“I’ll tell her thank you when I see her at school.” Jinah responded. She was happy Soojin got her anything but at the same time she was glad her friend had taken the time to buying her a gift.

Fast forward, after blowing out candles, eating until her stomach was stuffed, opening presents, and playing lame games that made her laugh until she was crying and she found herself standing next to Kahi as the rest cleaned up.

She could say this was the best birthday she ever had, you can tell by the smile lit on her face.

“Your mother isn’t here.” Kahi commented.

Jinah nodded; yes she knew her mother wasn’t here.

“Yes, I know. No surprise there.” She answered back.

“Do you think she’ll be okay…not being invited to her daughter’s birthday party?”

“I doubt she cares. All she has done all week is yell and shout at me every chance she has.” Jinah answered back remembering the first thing her mother did when she returned home was go on a screaming rampage.

“You didn’t do anything Jinah.” Kahi said knowing that Jinah was innocent.

“I know, but she disagrees. Maybe it's just a daughter's job to piss off her mother.” Jinah responded before reaching over the counter and grabbing a piece of chocolate. Luhan had brought her a box of her favorite chocolate.

“Really, more chocolate?”

Jinah laughed, “There are a lot of things that make you feel happier. Sometimes a little chocolate is enough.”

“How about when it isn’t?” Kahi mused.

Jinah knuckled, “Well then I don’t know.” Because there was a lot she didn’t know, and that was okay. Life was about learning. Han Jinah was learning the ropes to living.

They talked for a while and waited for everyone to finish cleaning, the boys insisted that Jinah was not to touch a single thing. She was the birthday girl they said and she shouldn’t be cleaning her own birthday party.

So it took her by surprise when she found herself standing outside, and of all places she was standing next to a bench overlooking a playground.

What was even more surprising was watching Baekhyun and Luhan on the swings. Somehow they had managed to convince her to come to a nearby park playground. Sometimes she thinks she’s watching over two five year olds instead of two grown men.

But it was good, because it’s always good to remember the child in you.

Jinah laughed staring at the two buffoons in front of her. They were laughing so loudly and too enhanced to notice her.

Kahi who had been trailing behind her stepped next to her nudging her on the shoulder. “Remember this okay.” Kahi advised with a knowingly grin.

“Remember what?” Jinah asked still watching the two boys on the swings. Her eyes caught sight of the other children on the same playground playing aimlessly and mindlessly without a trouble to worry about.

She couldn’t help but think that those little kids were going to grow up one day. All of those kids are going to experience the same things Jinah did, they are going to fall and trip just like she did, they are going to be disappointed, they are going to get their hearts broken. But for now this playground was enough. If only this would always be enough.

“Remember today Jinah. Remember that today was a good day, and when you’re having a ty day and its hard to find anything to clasp onto, remember today.”

And Jinah never forgot this day.

-----

“Admit it.” Baekhyun pressed for the nth time. Jinah laughed because she never thought Byun Baekhyun could be so damn stubborn.

“Fine, fine, maybe you and Luhan aren’t too old.” Jinah admitted because they were having one of their random conversations which consisted of nothing of any importance but that didn’t matter because they were laughing and happy.

“Geez, sometimes I swear you’re trying to grow up to fast.” Baekhyun revealed and Jinah couldn’t help but bitterly think how wrong he was.

“Thanks for today Baek, it means the world to me.” She said and she sounded so damn sincere it hurts because no one can be that sincere, but she was.

“You deserve it Jinah. You deserve it all.” He said and somehow she thought he wasn’t just talking about the surprise party.

The two walked in silence after that, but it was the good like of silence.

“What’s wrong” She said out of nowhere. She turned her head to face Baekhyun and sometimes she would kill to know what he was thinking about. She knew him well enough to know when something was bothering her.

She could tell just by looking at him and sometimes she wondered if he saw her the same way.

“Nothing.” He said and he sounded so sad.

“What is it? Come on, tell me, we both know I’m going to find out anyways, whatever it is that’s bothering you.” Jinah insisted.

“It’s nothing.” Baekhyun responded coldly and he knew that she knew he was lying.

“Okay.” She answered not wanting to intrude on him.

“That’s it, just an okay, nothing else?”

“Oh come on Baek, you don’t want to share whatever it is that’s bothering you with me. I guess I have to start getting used to that.” Jinah frankly commented. She missed the frown that appeared on Baekhyun’s face.

“Did I ever tell you how sorry I am? Did I ever apologize for everything I’ve done?”

Jinah stopped in her tracks and turned to face him. She wanted to punch him. Yes, she knew exactly what he was referring to and in this situation she would rather let the whole damn case go than dwell over it.

“You have absolutely nothing to apologize for.” She insisted stubbornly. “So please, don’t be like this.” She pleaded.

 “I’m sorry for being such a horrible friend. I’m sorry for ignoring you. I’m sorry for taking you for granted. And I know apologizing is probably the worst thing to do and probably the last thing you want to hear.”

“Then don’t apologize.”

“I just thought I should say something.” He said with a boyish shrug. “And I hope you know I believe you can do anything, be anyone you want to be. So whatever you decide to do, wherever you go, I hope you’re happy. You of all people deserve that. I just thought you should know that.”

“Why does it seem like you’re saying goodbye.” She questioned sadly.

“I’m not. I’m just trying to tell you that I believe in you.” He replied honestly.

Jinah swallowed and moved her eyes away from his face to the ground. “That’s one of the reasons I love you, you believe in me more than I believe in myself.” She confessed unable to believe what she just said.

She slowly looked up to meet eye and eye with him.

She wasn’t expecting Baekhyun to smile. It was one of those charming smiles that made her knees go weak and her stomach explode with a thousand butterflies.

And he looked at her with dark hazel eyes that seemed to understand everything about her. For a nanosecond she swears that Baekhyun knew exactly how she felt about him. Then he blinked.

“Maybe that’s why I’m letting you go, because I believe in you. I believe you can do this, I believe that you can find whatever it is you’re looking for because I am sure of one thing: You, Han Jinah, you are strong.”

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