Thousands reflective pieces. They blink in the dim light of this room and reflect.. me.. you. The metallic scent of the blood is reflected too. I raise my hand up. Crimson red blood trickles down my fingers staining deep Into my soul. It feels so disgusting and violent on me... Though, your face, is decorated with this heavy liquid. Your motionless face.

 

You look beautiful my dear. You always do. 

 

Were you crying? I gracefully wipe the frozen tear drop from your cheek. Please don't. I won't do this again. I promise. 

 

I want to see you smile, I need it. I need you to smile because of me because of us. I want to hear your lovely laugh, incomparable to anyone else. Please! I shake your still shoulder. Don't be like this! 

 

My heart is racing. Why? Is it because I love you so much, or... Or is it because I know you will never say my name again? 

I look at the wooden floor. It's wet. It's wet with the blood that doesn't belong to me. It won't stop coming! It's scary, disgusting, beautiful. 

 

No. 

 

The mirror reflects my face. The shattered pieces reflect many masks that don't belong to me, but has a silhouette that is identical to one I am wearing. 

 

Was I hiding myself from you?
Or hiding myself from my own mind?
Maybe a bit of both.
But this mirror always reflected the worst of us... 

I'm glad is broken. Now it will stay silent forever. 

 

No one likes broken things.
But you did.
No matter how broken I was, you always let me walk next to you without any doubt. 

 

Loving you was like falling.
Falling Into a hole that supposedly was dark and cold. No one understood. Everyone was just attracted by your sweet face. 

But now all the life has left your features.
Your cheeks are no longer flushed and your lips are no longer red. Just that shining tear in the corner of your eye, is the last proof that once you were breathing. 

 

My skin lingers for your touch. That sweet and gentle touch of yours used to heal all wounds. Your skin used to be so warm, torturously soft, demanding to be touched. Now... Only coldness surrounds you.

 

Trying to grasp your existence right now is like trying to grasp the smoke. 

 

I slowly trail my hand up your creamy shoulder, to your crimson red neck. 

 

I always wanted to be gentle while touching you.
Did you know my feelings, even though I always ended up bruising your velvet like skin?

I clutch your neck tightly. Wanting to feel your pulse slowly give out between my fingers. No beat. Just anger. 

You left me already? That's right, you left me behind.

 

However, my fingers don't loosen. Just get tighter and tighter. Knuckles turning white. Is this my way of clenching to your existence? 

It felt right. 

 

To hurt you one more time. To hurt you, the way you liked.

Stopping was a silly think to do when something felt that good.

Your pulse is gone...

 

I slide my smeared with blood hand into my hair and tug at it. I don't feel it. I just wanted to feel your love... But now it's gone. I don't feel that either.

 

My body feels heavy. Light, but heavy.
I lower my body to lie next to you in this puddle of metallic red wine. Cling to you like a second skin. To make your body warm again.

 

Your eyes continue to stare into nothingness.
I look at those empty eyes.
Looking for the answers that have never been said. Or mentioned. 

 

I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I promise. So smile. 

 

I regret saying those things just right before you became so cold...

My hand makes its way to your algid cheek and brush away your long sticky hair. Smile. If I smile will you smile back? 

 

My mouth curves into an assertive smile. 

I promised not to leave you. But you left me behind instead. I'm sorry. I will have to follow your path...
The path of black and white.  

 

My eyelids close. Your face slowly leaving my vision. 

 

Goodnight, my love.