“Hyung, you weren’t at school yesterday!”

Baekhyun had approached his best friend wordlessly, trying to draw as little attention to himself as possible, hoping Chanyeol wouldn’t bring up the topic he’d just brought up. He tried shrugging it off.

“Seriously, it’s the third time this school year you’ve skipped,” Chanyeol chastised jokingly. “And it’s only October! When did my best friend become such a delinquent?”

“Sorry ‘Yeol,” Baekhyun sighed, knowing it wouldn’t change anything. He couldn’t promise not to miss school again because he would. Every week he went to the hospital, and sometimes it happened to be in the morning so he couldn’t go to class. And when he’d come home he’d feel sick and exhausted and would just spend the rest of his day in bed. He made excuses to Chanyeol, but it was hard to lie to him. It would be worse though, to tell him the truth. To tell him that things were bad, worse than anyone had thought, and the future was a bit cloudy for him. To tell him would be to confess how he cried himself to sleep every night, scared and alone; that he needed someone – he needed Chanyeol. He didn’t want to drag Chanyeol down with him into this mess. Either he would get through it or he wouldn’t; either way, Chanyeol would be able to carry on once it was all over.

But it didn’t take long for his friend to start asking questions, and when those questions weren’t answered and Baekhyun became more vague and distant Chanyeol began to be angry. One day he yelled at Baekhyun, and Baekhyun just stood there and took it. The boy had every right to be angry with all the secrets being kept from him and lies being fed every day. But they had never fought before and Baekhyun went home and cried that night, for once not out of self-pity but because the fear of losing his Chanyeol loomed over him.

The week before Christmas holidays was more dismal than usual. Baekhyun and Chanyeol usually had snowball fights and made snow angels and chased each other around in the snow and made plans for the holidays. Every year their families even had Christmas Eve dinner together at one of their houses, and then the boys would spend the night together so they could open their presents with one another before going to the other house to open the rest of their presents. But Chanyeol hadn’t spoken to Baekhyun in a week and he knew that this year they wouldn’t be together.

Chanyeol cornered him after school on Friday though and confronted him. “Baek… I don’t know what it is you aren’t telling me about – what you think you can’t tell me about; I’m your best friend, I’ve never kept secrets from you, not once. I wish you would trust me, because you can Baek, you always could and that hasn’t changed. But if you won’t… I still want to spend the holidays with you. It wouldn’t be Christmas without you.

“So… I guess I’m saying – I’m asking if we can stop fighting, okay Baek? Please don’t fight with me anymore. I’m not mad at you and I’m sorry if-”

Baekhyun threw himself into Chanyeol’s arms, holding the giant boy tightly and pressing his face into his chest. Chanyeol was stunned but then hugged him back, and Baekhyun felt his tears falling onto Chanyeol’s jacket but he didn’t care.

“I’m sorry, ‘Yeol,” Baekhyun sobbed. “It’s not your fault. And I don’t want to have Christmas without you.”

Chanyeol kissed the top of Baekhyun’s head. “Love you, Baek.”

“I love you too, ‘Yeol.”

“

Dance practice was on Wednesday night. Kyungsoo wasn’t in science Thursday morning. He wasn’t in the library at lunch or in math class the next period. According to Yixing, he wasn’t on the bus.

This was repeated on Friday.

After school on Friday night the phone rang three times. Kyungsoo didn’t answer any of the calls. Three messages were left.

“Do Kyungsoo was absent from school today. Please send a note in on Monday explaining his absence.” The school was formal, robotic. The second time this week the message had been left.

“Kyungsoo hyung. You’re probably just sick. I’m sure you’re just sick. I – uh – I wanted to talk to you at school but you weren’t there so… It doesn’t matter. Forget I called.” Sehun, the bumbling fool. Kyungsoo thought he might have called to apologize. But there was no apology in his message and there was no need for him to be sorry – right?

“Kyungsoo hyung, please call me. I know you’re listening to this. Just call me so I know you’re okay.” The message from Jongin was unexpected. Clearly, Jongin was worried about him.

Kyungsoo erased it along with the other messages.

He became a residual ghost, going from place to place on a perfectly routine schedule every day. His footsteps were mapped around the school and his house. First period, sit, don’t speak, don’t acknowledge the boy beside you; second period, sit, don’t speak, don’t acknowledge those around you; lunch, sit in the library, don’t speak, pretend to read, nod off because you’re not getting sleep at night anymore; fourth period, sit, don’t speak, don’t acknowledge the boy two seats in front of you. And it went on. Go home, don’t speak, do homework, eat dinner; more homework or maybe a drawing; lay in bed for hours and think about nothing and everything; don’t fall asleep – nightmares lurk behind closed eyes. Don’t cry – it doesn’t help anything.

The cycle was disrupted only by Kai’s notes, which scattered themselves at random. “Take care of yourself”; “I almost saw you smile today. I miss your smile”; “I’m sorry things are tough right now. I still care about you”; “It’s almost Christmas. I hope your holidays will be fun”; “I think I’m falling in love with you”.

Sometimes he hated Kai for his cowardliness. Other days he read the slips of paper and tried to see what Kai was seeing in him. He looked at his eyes in his mirror – and they weren’t beautiful, there was nothing magnificent about them. They were just brown like everyone else’s. But Kai would have him believe his eyes were wonderful, mesmerizing. When he tried smiling at his reflection Kyungsoo thought his heart-shaped smile was just dorky, but Kai said he adored it. Maybe Kai just had strange taste. Maybe he was a good liar. But did he mean it when he said he was falling for him? Or was it just infatuation? Kyungsoo had more questions than answers about Kai so he just tried not to think about him too much.

The holidays arrived and Kyungsoo drew. He spent all day drawing, every day. He would start a new drawing in the morning and go until he finished it, whenever that was. Hours and hours of just drawing – everything. Imaginary landscapes in intricate details; a herd of elephants, a phoenix, the view out his window, an angel with immensely meticulous wings; faces – they were supposed to be strangers, maybe faces he’d passed in his life time, maybe relevant people; when once he realized he was drawing his best friend, he crumpled the paper and didn’t draw any more that day.

Christmas went by. New Years went by. Kyungsoo spent them mostly in his room, coming down to visit his parents for a little while, open presents, talk on the phone to family members and wish them cheerful things and thank them for presents that he didn’t really care about.

When he returned to school all his classes were in cram mode. Exams were three weeks away. He couldn’t understand how school went on so unaffected by everything else. Teachers didn’t care if your best friend hated you; they cared if you did your homework. Kyungsoo wished he could be like a teacher.

It wasn’t until Wednesday that Kyungsoo remembered his birthday was on Friday – well, less remembered and more was reminded of the fact. Jongin hadn’t gone around the library lately but on that day he went in at lunch and sat down beside the small boy reading his book as usual. He didn’t speak for a moment, just sat there, keeping Kyungsoo company. Kyungsoo wished he wouldn’t.

“What are you doing for your birthday hyung?”

“Nothing much.” Kyungsoo had never really been one for parties. It had always been Sehun who insisted on throwing him birthday parties every year, going over the top. “Why, you wanna take me out to dinner?”

“Still sarcastic as ever,” Jongin smiled. “I was thinking we could have pizza, watch a movie. I’ll bring party hats if you want.” Kyungsoo snorted. “And helium balloons – we can the helium and make our voices high. And a piñata! Can’t have a party without a piñata.”

Kyungsoo laughed sardonically. “Once again, you’re making plans without my consent. Didn’t you learn from last time?”

Jongin backpedaled immediately. “I didn’t – I just thought it would – it could just be us two-”

“Why are you so insistent on hanging out with me? Seriously, don’t you have anything better to do with your time?”

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin said softly. “You – you’re alone all the time. You shouldn’t be. I’m just trying to-”

“You pity me,” Kyungsoo nearly sneered. “That’s the card you want to play? Now, if you knew me, you would know how absolutely stupid you are to feel bad for me. Sehun knows – do you see him around? He doesn’t pity me. I’m not some weak little child who needs your sympathy Jongin.”

Jongin put his head in his hands, pressing his palms into his eyes in frustration. “I wish I could know how your mind works,” he said with a sigh. “Can I join you on your birthday or not? I’ll bring soju if you can’t deal with the burden of putting up with me sober.”

Kyungsoo considered it. Watching a movie with a boy he’d thought he hated – did he hate him? He was still one of the popular boys who wasn’t supposed to like him (although they hadn’t paid much attention to him lately, especially with the holidays and now exams); he was still Jongin, the boy who pretended to be an to maintain his status in the school. But he was now also the boy who cared, twice. And the only person left in Kyungsoo’s life. How horrible could it really be to watch a movie with him on his birthday?

“You bring the alcohol and pay for the pizza,” Kyungsoo told him.

Jongin grinned. “Deal.”

“

They stayed in Kyungsoo’s bedroom, knowing they’d be dead if his mom caught them with alcohol. Kyungsoo wasn’t much of one for recreationally watching movies so he allowed Jongin to pick what they watched. He chose a horror movie about demons and exorcisms and … well, Kyungsoo didn’t care. He started sipping on a bottle of burning alcohol in the hope that it would help him through the next two hours. Then they waited for their pizza, which took its sweet time. They were a bottle of soju down between them by the time it arrived. On the bright side, the awkwardness seemed to fade more between them with each sip.

Kyungsoo felt less inhibited and he thought, why not enjoy his pitiful party. A crappy movie with alcohol and a guy he didn’t like – not exactly how he’d hoped to spend his seventeenth birthday, but he supposed he couldn’t complain because at least he wasn’t spending it alone.

“Hey, Kyungsoo?” Jongin said cautiously as he opened the box of pizza. Kyungsoo grabbed a piece, taking a scalding bite but he was starving and he didn’t care, washing it down with soju to ease the ache.

“Mm?” he grunted.

“You still like Sehun right?”

Kyungsoo almost dropped his pizza. “Please tell me you didn’t invite him over.”

“No, no!” said Jongin hurriedly. “I just… Do you know about Baekhyun and Chanyeol?”

"What, that they're together?” Kyungsoo scowled. Like anyone didn’t know that. “How inobservant do you think I am?"

"No I meant... about Baekhyun." Jongin’s eyes had grown serious, his voice careful as if he were treading on thin ice. Something about Baekhyun, something serious.

"What about him?"

"It's nothing,” Jongin said at an attempt to be casual, backing off suddenly. Apparently he had changed his mind about sharing his friend’s secret with Kyungsoo. “Just... I didn't know them but they've told me about... In the eighth grade, something happened to Baekhyun and it almost tore their friendship apart. They always say if they hadn't made up they would've felt miserable for the rest of their lives. But both of them wanted to work it out. They didn't think the other did at the time – Baekhyun figured Chanyeol was happy without him and vice versa and they thought they should suffer because at least one of them was happy. But neither of them were. And I know you and Sehun - it's the same thing. I think you should talk to him; at least try. Don't give up on him just yet, that's all."

“That’s not your business.” He hadn’t thought about his future, but imagining it now he couldn’t see Sehun in it. The boy had made it quite clear their lives were no longer in any way intertwined. “He doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“Hyung-”

“Drop it.” They didn’t speak. Kyungsoo the movie, not really watching it, seeming to be trying to test his alcoholic boundaries. He felt Jongin’s eyes on him every time he took a drink.

His mind began to wander, to Sehun and then to Luhan. Luhan, who had also lost his best friend because of his new relationship. Minseok had stopped being his friend when Luhan started dating Sehun, and then Minseok began to hang around Jongdae. And now in the same manner Kyungsoo had lost his friendship with Sehun after he began to spend time with Jongin.

“It’s Sehun’s fault,” Kyungsoo muttered. “Isn’t it?”

Jongin, who was actually somewhat watching the movie, tore his eyes off the screen. “What?”

“If he hadn’t gone to that stupid party with Luhan… Minseok and Luhan would still be friends; there would be no drama. And I would be having some extravagantly stupid party thrown by Sehun. He had to go and be an idiot…”

Jongin stared for a moment. “It’s sort of sad,” he said. “That I can tell you’re drunk by the way you aren’t blaming yourself for once.”

Kyungsoo shrugged. “Maybe being drunk has opened my mind to the truth,” he said theatrically. “Although, I don’t understand what’s going on right now. Why you’re here; why we’re here, together.”

“We’re… celebrating your birthday.”

“Yeah, but why is it you? You – Kim Jongin, the who isn’t really an but pretends to be one which makes you even more of one. Do you care when you see Kris shove me in the hallways or Chanyeol trip me? Do you care that they tried to drown me? The only friends you have who leave me alone are Yixing and Baekhyun but that’s not even comforting. I’ve never liked any of you. And now that I know how you really are, I just hate you even more. And you’re just laying on my bed, eating pizza with me on my birthday. I don’t know… why.”

Jongin took Kyungsoo’s bottle out of his hand. His eyes were dark but his voice was still gentle. “I don’t have the answer hyung. You made this choice, I’m just happy to go along with it. I like being around you. And I do care when my friends hurt you. I wish they wouldn’t and I try to discourage them but… it’s not that easy.”

“Really Jongin? Is it really so hard to say ‘stop being a ’?”

On the television a girl started screaming, crying as she was attacked by her possessed sister or something. Neither of the boys were paying any attention to the movie anymore.

“It’s just not, okay? Put yourself in my position for a minute.”

“Your position?” It seemed ridiculous, but Kyungsoo thought about it. Jongin was risking his popularity status to be with him right now. Kyungsoo, a boy who was no one, nothing, a waste of Jongin’s time; yet here he was. Defending him against his friends would be too far, though. Kyungsoo wasn’t worth that much. Still, Kyungsoo rolled off his bed and was on his feet, glaring down at the boy on laying there. “If you’re so worried about how Kris Wu and all his stupid minions would react to you being friends with me, then why the hell are you here? I’m not making you stay!”

Jongin tried to stand up and Kyungsoo abruptly felt an explosion of anger towards him, pushing him back onto the bed. He threw himself on the boy, pulling his fist back and aiming at his face. His punch struck loudly and sent a shock through Kyungsoo’s nerves but he drew back again. Jongin was too stunned to react to the first hit but his hand instinctively went up to protect his face, catching Kyungsoo’s fist before it could make contact again. Kyungsoo grabbed Jongin’s wrist and tried to pull his grip away but Jongin was stronger than him. Jongin pushed him back, sitting up and throwing the smaller boy onto the bed, pinning him down. Kyungsoo struggled but Jongin just held his wrists against the bed, staring down at him. His lip was bleeding from Kyungsoo’s sharp knuckles but neither of them seemed to care.

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin panted as he fought to calm the other. “Kyungsoo, stop!”

“ you Jongin!” Kyungsoo spat, still attempting to struggle but stopping his movements after a while. He closed his eyes, looking pained.

“You can’t just keep pushing everyone away hyung.” Jongin got up, releasing Kyungsoo. “I’ll leave if you want, but not if it’s because you’re pushing me away.”

Kyungsoo sat up, staring at him, debating. Everything was just happening so quickly. The alcohol must have been the cause of his violence, of him lashing out. Now Jongin wanted to leave. He’s Kim Jongin, part of Kyungsoo argued. But what if he wasn’t? But he is.

He was quiet for too long and Jongin took it as Kyungsoo dismissing him. But when he started to pack his things Kyungsoo grabbed his hand and pulled him to sit down with him. All he said was, “It’s my birthday.” That was enough for Jongin.

They stayed wordlessly until the movie ended, and when Kyungsoo didn’t react Jongin switched the TV off. Neither knew how to fill the awkward silence between them. It was Kyungsoo, who had spent the rest of the movie sorting out the situation and not making any sense of it due to his drunken state, who spoke first.

“I’m sorry for hitting you,” he mumbled, glancing Jongin’s way. The boy’s eyes were already on him. “Your lip is swollen.”

Jongin touched it tenderly but didn’t seem to care. “It’s alright. I’ll, uh… did you want me to go then?”

“If you want.”

“No, it’s your birthday – what do you want?”

Kyungsoo thought. “I…” He wanted Sehun. He wanted his life to be normal again. He wanted his friends not to hate him. And he didn’t want to sit and think about everything right now. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“Then I’ll stay.”

“

Mostly they just talked. Kyungsoo, alcohol rewiring his social system, told Jongin about the parties he’d had with Sehun the past few years on both his and Sehun’s birthdays. And somehow he ended up telling lots of stories about stupid things Sehun had done and how Kyungsoo had gotten him out of trouble a hundred times. After a while they were both laying on their backs on Kyungsoo’s bed, staring up at the ceiling, Kyungsoo off in the world of his memories.

“I miss him,” he said sadly. “No one knows more than me how annoying he can be, but I still miss him. Losing him… It’s always been a thought in the back of my mind, since we’re just so different and we just – I don’t really know what kept him around. But I was still always afraid that one day he would just be sick of me. He would find someone else and… move on. Now – well, now there’s Luhan. And Luhan’s great but part of me wonders if it’s real. I’d just always thought that he and Minseok… I don’t know. I don’t know what I know anymore. I thought I knew about things but lately I’ve just been wrong so often… I can’t help thinking I’ve never been right all along.”

Jongin took the older’s hand and instead of jerking it away, Kyungsoo kept his hand there, thinking that maybe if he thought this was wrong too then it might not be. Since the only thing that he seemed to really be finding wrong lately was himself. It wasn’t uncomfortable. And Jongin’s words echoed in his head.

You can’t just keep pushing everyone away.

“

Kyungsoo didn’t remember falling asleep. When he woke up he was facing the wall but could feel the warmth of another body leaning into his back. An arm was thrown over his waist, someone’s fingers twisting into his. And it felt nice to not have woken up alone, to not be torn out of sleep by screaming nightmares. He wondered if everything had been a dream and that Sehun was there, sleeping beside him like he so often did. Kyungsoo wanted to believe it so much. He closed his eyes and let the warmth sink into him.

Soon, the boy beside him was stirring, tugging his hand out of Kyungsoo’s and stretching before curling up beside the smaller boy again. Kyungsoo pressed back into him, feeling far from wary but grateful that he seemed to have escaped the bad dream he’d thought he’d been living. Was it September again?

“Sehun…”

There was a sigh and the boy reluctantly pulled himself away again. “Guess again,” he mumbled, and that voice didn’t belong to Sehun. That voice belonged to reality, and reality came in the form of Kim Jongin. Kyungsoo’s eyes widened at the realization that for a moment he had snuggled himself into Jongin, and was extremely grateful that the boy had moved away from him.

“What…” Kyungsoo pushed himself to a sitting position, looking around to the boy laying there, head rested on the other side of his pillow, arms crossed over his head. He was too relaxed, too comfortable, too… right, there. Kyungsoo wanted to know the time, but his phone was on his side table and he didn’t want to ask Jongin to pass it to him. He didn’t want to acknowledge him at all right now. He didn’t know what reality was doing. Instead he just reached over Jongin without touching him and plucked his phone – the one his parents had given to him for his birthday present – off the table. It claimed it was about five in the morning of January 13^th. His birthday was over. He’d fallen asleep with Jongin and he didn’t remember it. He remembered Jongin taking his hand. He’d been laying on his side facing Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo on his back, and they had just held hands. Thinking back it seemed awkward, but at the time he hadn’t minded. Must’ve been the alcohol.

Sometime in his sleep he must have rolled over, turning his back to Jongin but Jongin hadn’t let go of his hand. Logically Jongin would’ve had to have repositioned himself so he wouldn’t be uncomfortable, which meant he was either awake or awoken when Kyungsoo rolled over, and rather than pulling his hand back he rearranged his hand to fit it back with Kyungsoo’s (and possibly moved closer to Kyungsoo). How much had Jongin drank? Kyungsoo hadn’t paid attention.

“It’s too early,” he grumbled, falling back on his pillow. But Jongin was there, too close, head turning towards Kyungsoo. Out of the corner of his eye Kyungsoo could see Jongin’s swollen lip, a cut running through it. He had done that; he had hurt the boy. And he didn’t feel that guilty. Instead he was thinking about what to do now. Because he couldn’t fall asleep again, not with Jongin lying beside him, and he couldn’t get rid of Jongin because it was too early in the morning to kick him out.

“How’s it feel to be seventeen?” Jongin asked lightly.

“Nothing seems to have improved,” Kyungsoo answered shortly. “I don’t think I ever would’ve imagined spending my first night as a seventeen-year-old with you of all people.”

“You thought I was Sehun,” Jongin said quietly. “When you first woke up.”

“I’m used to sleeping with him,” Kyungsoo replied. “Why were you cuddling with me?”

Jongin went pink. “I dunno,” he said quickly. “I’ve been told I do that when I sleep.”

Right. Because Jongin actually slept with other people, probably a lot. He was comfortable with being close to people like that. But he seemed embarrassed anyway and changed the subject.

“What now then?”

Kyungsoo was looking around for something – anything – when they both heard Jongin’s stomach grumble. “Come on, let’s go have breakfast.” He pushed himself off his bed and headed for the door. The hallway was black but he knew it well anyways.

He forgot Jongin wasn’t so familiar with his house. “Hyung, wait!”

“Shh!”

“Hyung, I can’t see,” Jongin hissed. Kyungsoo paused to wait for the boy and Jongin walked right into him. Kyungsoo felt through the dark for his wrist, trying not to make things awkward, and dragged him along. Jongin slipped his wrist away from Kyungsoo and instead took Kyungsoo’s hand, making Kyungsoo’s chest tighten uncomfortably. He just tried not to think about it, leading them into the kitchen. When he switched the light on, he let Jongin go awkwardly.

“What do you want?” Kyungsoo asked, heading for the fridge. When he opened the door, he caught sight of his untouched birthday cake and smiled. “Cake?”

Jongin sat down at his table. “Isn’t it a bit early for cake?”

“Please,” Kyungsoo scoffed, pulling the cake out and placing it on the counter. “It’s my birthday cake.” He got a knife out of the drawer, and started slicing into the cake – lemon with cream cheese icing, his favourite. Feeling his own stomach gurgling, he cut himself a huge slab and another for Jongin, then headed to his cupboard for plates.

When he handed Jongin his plate, the boy stared at the tempting piece of cake. “How am I supposed to eat this?”

Forks. Kyungsoo was too tired for this. He tossed Jongin a fork, then took another to his own cake. Then he took a bite and it was delicious as expected. Thanks mom.

Things remained awkward between the two boys as they ate quietly. Kyungsoo didn’t look at the other boy, keeping his eyes on his cake.

Jongin took advantage of this.

One minute Kyungsoo was absorbing the tension with no icing on his face. The next thing he knew Kim Jongin had scooped icing off of Kyungsoo’s piece of cake – not even his own – and smeared it across Kyungsoo’s cheek, chortling. Kyungsoo was stunned, staring up at the boy as he off his finger with a smirk.

“You-!”

Jongin was one step ahead, anticipating Kyungsoo’s reaction and jumping up, out of Kyungsoo’s reach before he could get any cake on the younger boy. Kyungsoo picked up his piece of cake and chased the boy around the kitchen, Jongin laughing all the while. At least until Kyungsoo cornered him.

“Okay, okay, you got me!” Jongin said in mock-fear, but he couldn’t hold back his smile at Kyungsoo’s deadly stare. Then Kyungsoo shoved the cake in Jongin’s face with an evil grin.

“Now I got you,” Kyungsoo smirked. Jongin’s jaw dropped, his face having been given a spa mask minus the cucumbers, and he tried to wipe the cake away from around his eyes. Then his fingers found Kyungsoo’s face again, covering him with the cake that he’d just wiped from his own face and he laughed. Soon the second piece of cake was brought into play and then they were both covered in the fluffy, icing-y mess and laughing.

“So much for that,” Jongin said, some icing off Kyungsoo’s face and eating it.

“Hey, you’ve got your own!” They both laughed again.

“I’ve unlocked the secret,” Jongin told him. “To making you laugh.”

“What, covering yourself in cake? I’ll just let everyone know.”

Jongin smacked him lightly, leaving cake on his sleeve and causing another cake fight to start, Kyungsoo taking the food from his own face and spreading it across Jongin’s shirt.

When his mom got up she wasn’t very impressed by the cake-ified state of her kitchen, but she was happy to see Kyungsoo was enjoying himself. And he would never admit it to anyone – certainly not Jongin – but Kyungsoo did have fun. It was silly and he was surprised Sehun had never done it before with him, but the playfulness of covering each other in cake – even if it was with Jongin, even if he didn’t know exactly what the relationship he had with him was (he supposed they weren’t enemies anyway) – was something that Kyungsoo really needed right now.

“

“Are you gonna have a Valentine this year?”

Baekhyun laughed, glancing back to look at Chanyeol. “When do I ever have a Valentine, ‘Yeol?”

They were laying on the couch in Chanyeol’s living room, his arms around Baekhyun’s waist, their fingers braided together. It was February 13^th, the day before the love holiday.

“I guess you’re stuck with me then,” Chanyeol grinned. “We’ll have to flaunt our love to the whole school.”

“Actually…”

It had been almost two months since they had fought, and since then Chanyeol hadn’t asked any questions. The subject was never brought up. Chanyeol wanted Baekhyun to tell him on his own time, whenever that was. But Baekhyun never wanted to tell him.

“I was just kidding Baek.”

“I know, but… I won’t actually be at school tomorrow.”

“Oh.” Silence grew between them and Baekhyun wanted to hide his face. Instead he kept his eyes on Chanyeol’s face, although the other boy looked away from him. “Because of your big secret, right?” He was trying to stay casual but Baekhyun knew the boy must really have been struggling not to get angry. “Just… Is it drugs – are you dealing drugs?”

Baekhyun gave a weak laugh. “No ‘Yeol, it’s not drugs. Why would I just randomly skip school for that?”

“I dunno, picky client?” Chanyeol smiled weakly, but his eyes were still serious. He brought his hand up to Baekhyun’s face, his cheek with his thumb. “Please tell me Baekhyun. I’m dying.”

So am I, Baekhyun thought sadly. “I’m sorry, ‘Yeol.”

When it was clear Baekhyun wasn’t saying anything more, Chanyeol’s hand dropped and he twisted his arms out from around Baekhyun. Baekhyun’s heart sunk.

“Yeah, me too.”

Not much was said after that and it didn’t take long for Baekhyun to excuse himself, calling his mom to pick him up. When he said goodbye to Chanyeol, the boy didn’t say anything and just closed the door.

A/n: I told myself I wasn't going to update again until like tomorrow or so, but I just felt the need to. Woo, Kyungsoo being happy! Even if its just for a second, its nice. I'll update again soon (although probably not until like Wednesday or something I dunno I'll do my best!). Thank you to my over 100 subscribers, and everyone who comments, you guys are awesome! And thank you to you for reading! :)